The Royals Series

by Bay, Louise

  “And we can spend some more time together, and I can show you I am the man I say I am. You don’t have to decide right away.”

  “I’m nervous,” she said, looking out from under her lashes at me. “This feels serious.”

  I nodded. “It does. But doesn’t it feel right too?”

  “Being with you right here and now feels right, and I don’t want it to stop.” She shook her head. “But looking into the future is never easy. It scares me. I don’t want to get hurt again.”

  “It scares me too, but I’m really good at working really hard to be the person I want to be. I’ve just always wanted to be the best barrister. Now I want to be a man you deserve.”

  “And the best barrister?” she teased.

  “Well, yes, of course I want both.”

  “And if anyone is capable of having everything they want, it’s you.”

  “That’s good to know. Because I want you.” I reached out for her hand across the table.

  A pink blush bloomed in her cheeks. Violet rarely got embarrassed, and there was something rather adorable about a woman so beautiful, charming, and clever being embarrassed by a man like me wanting her so openly.

  “Let’s take this slowly, okay?” she said.

  “I’ll follow your lead.” It was the first time we’d talked about our relationship. The first time that we’d discussed more than what we were doing tomorrow. Adrenaline spread through my body. I was excited. Not about a new case I’d been assigned. Not about a courtroom win, but about my future with a woman. For the first time in my life I wanted more than to be the best at the bar. I wanted Violet King.

  Chapter Thirty

  Violet

  “I think I’m in love with Alexander Knightley,” I blurted out as soon as Scarlett answered the phone.

  “Of course you are. I think I’m in love with Alexander Knightley,” she replied. “He’s so charming, Violet.”

  I sighed and collapsed back on my bed. “I’m being serious. This is a disaster. You need to talk me out of it or recommend something I can get from the pharmacy to cure me.” I’d been floating on cloud nine since Saturday, and I couldn’t stop smiling. It seemed, without realizing it, I’d been waiting for Knightley to say he wanted more, that he didn’t want me to leave. Dancing with him in the park, him talking about how he wanted me, it had allowed this rush of feelings to burst out of me. As though I’d been waiting to admit to myself that I was in love with Alexander.

  Scarlett laughed. “I think it’s wonderful.”

  “He danced with me in Berkley Square, the asshole. He said we had to listen for nightingales.”

  “Oh my, you mean like the song?”

  I sighed. It had been the most romantic night of my life, and one I’d never forget. “He told me I was smart and beautiful and that I’d ace the entrance exam for Columbia.”

  “Which is true.”

  “He’s really in my corner, Scarlett. He really wants me to do well.”

  “That’s the kind of man you need in your life. So why is it a disaster?”

  “Because of a thousand reasons.” I’d been counting them since Sunday morning, as I tried hopelessly to climb down from my cotton-candy cloud.

  “Okay. Give me your top three.”

  I held out my clenched fist and pushed out my thumb. “Well he lives in London and I live in the US.”

  “Easy. One of you can move.”

  I dropped my hand to my side. “If you’re just going to say it’s all easy, then I’m hanging up. This is not easy. There is no way he could come to New York—his whole career is here. He’s not even qualified to practice law in the US. And all his clients and his reputation, it’s all here in London.”

  “So? Move to London,” she said.

  “He wants me to think about doing my MBA in London.”

  “That’s a great idea.”

  “But then what? What if I still love him at the end of two years? Then what happens?” I was falling deeper and deeper already.

  “What do you mean what happens?”

  “Well by then it’s going to be difficult to leave.”

  “So you don’t. Stay in London.” She made it sound so easy.

  “Just like that? Don’t be crazy. Mom and Dad—”

  “Mom and Dad want you to be happy, and anyway, they’re not in Connecticut half the time, and I’m in England a lot, too. The world isn’t such a big place. We can video call. I might even persuade Ryder to get a plane.”

  I rolled my eyes. She said it like she was going to ask him to pick up some chicken from the market on the way home. “So I just move. Just like that.”

  “Yes, just like that. I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. He’s going to go out and buy a flock of nightingales.”

  “It’s a watch,” I said as I tried to imagine him looking at me as Scarlett described.

  “What’s a watch?”

  “The collective noun for nightingales is a watch. Not a flock.”

  “Jesus, Violet. Stop being a geek and focus.”

  “I am focused. On the thousand other reasons why being with him is a bad idea. He’s impatient, short-tempered, and a complete workaholic.”

  “And you love him.”

  I did. There was no denying it.

  “He’s divorced,” I said. “Because he didn’t have time for a relationship.” He’d said that he was going to try to achieve a better balance, take more time off, but he was hardwired to work. “Why would it work between us if he can’t make it work with his wife?”

  “You can’t compare one relationship with another. Things change when you’re in love. Look at Ryder and me.”

  I sighed. “Unlike yours, my life isn’t a fucking fairytale.”

  “Dancing in the park with a man as charming as Alex sounds like the fairytale is yours if you want it to be.”

  If I allowed myself to hope for something for the future, even just for a second, it was Alexander I saw. I didn’t plan. I didn’t invest ahead of time. I hadn’t been that girl for a long time. But Alexander had me applying for courses, thinking about the future, and needing him to be part of it.

  “You never think two years in advance about anything. I know I bust your balls about it, but this is the one time you should just see what happens after the end of two years. This is the time where you need to be living in the moment. And it’s not like you’ll be putting your future on hold or anything. If at the end of two years things don’t work out then you’ll still have an MBA.”

  That was true. Studying abroad was a thing a lot of people did. Not just the people with boyfriends in a different country. Like Scarlett said, I wouldn’t have lost anything by doing my MBA in the UK.

  It would just be easier if I wasn’t in love with him. My feelings left me exposed. I didn’t want to be taken advantage of again, made a fool of. Knightley would never do that on purpose—he had more honor and integrity than David ever did—but that didn’t mean it couldn’t happen. Alexander was so focused on work. I didn’t want to become an appendage to his life. So far things had worked for us, but changing things up left me vulnerable. But maybe the next two years could be a trial period. I knew I had a natural out when I finished if things weren’t working.

  “I could just apply for some programs in London. And then if I don’t get in my decision is made.” I’d already made the applications in London. I’d done it on the Sunday morning after the dancing in Berkley Square.

  “Yes. And when you do get in, you can stay together for two years and worry about what happens after that then.”

  My sister was relentless but part of me hoped she was right. As much as it felt like a disaster to love him, I hated the thought of walking away from Knightley in just a few weeks.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Violet

  I came out of the bathroom to find Alexander standing opposite me. It was a Saturday, but he still wore his suit to go into chambers.

  “You’re up early,” he said.

>   I grinned, stood on my tiptoes, and kissed him. “You are very perceptive. Probably why you’re such a great barrister.” Alexander normally left me in bed on a Saturday morning, but today I had things to do. I had a day of grocery shopping and cooking planned.

  “Have we decided what we’re doing tonight?” he asked. “Do you want me to book somewhere?”

  “We’ve had three Saturday nights of fancy, if you include Hakkasan,” I said. I couldn’t believe it had been three weeks since our discussion about me doing my MBA in London. Since then I’d applied to Columbia and two places in London. All three had responded this week. I’d been squirreling away the envelopes, ready for when I got my Saturday night with Knightley to open them. “I’d like to stay home tonight.”

  “We should be out celebrating.” He circled his hands around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

  I’d told Knightley that we’d open the letters together tonight. “We don’t know if we’ll be celebrating. I might not get accepted anywhere.” If I got into Columbia but neither of the London universities, where did that leave us? Either way I wanted it to be just the two of us tonight.

  “You are ridiculous at times. Of course they will all want you. You should have more faith in yourself.”

  However it went, my whole life was about to change, and I knew that I wanted Knightley there holding my hand as it did.

  “I’d still like to stay home.”

  He kissed me on the forehead. “Only if you make your mac and cheese.”

  I laughed. “I’d been planning to go fancier than mac and cheese. We won’t have another Saturday night before I fly back to Connecticut for the holidays. I fly on Tuesday.” I wanted to make tonight special. I’d planned crystal and fine china. Flowers and a crisp white tablecloth. I might even try to cook venison.

  “Are you sure you have to leave me for a whole week?”

  I laughed. “You’ll survive. I need to go back and see my family. I was only supposed to be here for three months and now it’s going to be six.”

  “And maybe even more,” he growled.

  The last month together had been wonderful. We’d spent every Saturday night and Sunday afternoon together since. We talked about everything. His work, his ambitions and his time at boarding school. Even his regrets about his marriage—he said he should have never agreed to it. And I shared with him my crazy exploits from New York, and how I felt like a different person to the waitress I’d been there. Things had grown between us. And thinking about staying in London to be with him seemed less and less scary and more and more how things should be.

  “Shall I get some wine?” he asked.

  I laughed. “If you want it to cost more than about five bucks then I would say yes.”

  He shuddered. “Can you even buy wine for five pounds a bottle?”

  I patted him on the chest. “You see what the rest of the world has to deal with while you’re in your ivory tower.”

  “I’ll get champagne. To celebrate.”

  I groaned. “Don’t jinx anything.”

  “There’s nothing to jinx. If you’d just open the bloody envelopes now, you’d see.”

  “I told you, I want to save them until we both have time.”

  He grinned. “We’re going to celebrate all night.” He glanced at his watch. “But now I have to head to chambers. Sebastian will be there already.”

  “You should go.”

  He released his arms from around my waist.

  “I’ll see you in just a few hours.”

  “Yes, I’ll be back by seven. Half past at the latest,” he said as he opened the bedroom door.

  I blew him a kiss. “I can’t wait.” I’d thought he’d forget after our night out at Hakkasan. I’d suspected that work would engulf him, and I’d get pushed to the sidelines and his promise to take Saturday nights off would be broken. But just like Alexander Knightley promised, he did what he said and he didn’t say things he didn’t mean. It was why I liked him so much.

  The front door clicked closed and I grabbed my cell phone. I wanted to get to the grocery store early. I had no idea how easy it would be to buy venison.

  I’d been making mental adjustments in the last month. I’d been picturing myself studying in the UK. Darcy had said I could stay on in her townhouse for the entire time. Although Alexander had hinted that he was going to buy a place and wanted me to stay with him. I had images of us spending our free time together, even me managing to persuade him to have a vacation. Or holiday as he would say. I imagined us happy together. Because that’s what we were now. But I hadn’t allowed myself to actually plan anything. I’d not accepted Darcy’s offer and I’d not looked into whether or not I could take part-time work on a student visa. I didn’t want to let myself get too invested in case I didn’t get accepted. When we opened the envelopes together tonight, then I could start planning.

  Tonight was the start of something. It was the beginning of our future together.

  Alexander

  Violet was going to kill me.

  There was almost as much paper piled up in this office as there had been when she’d first started.

  “I just don’t understand why the trial hasn’t been pushed back until the New Year. It makes no sense to start it two days before Christmas and then have a break in the middle,” Sebastian grumbled.

  “They’re trying to make the courts more efficient.” There was no point in questioning the logic of the legal system. The trial was set for Monday and that was that.

  “I’d be a lot more efficient if I wasn’t here on a Saturday night,” Sebastian complained. He was going to have to adjust; this was how it worked.

  “Wait, what’s the time?” I asked, glancing out the window, trying to see how dark it was.

  “Almost eleven.”

  How the hell had that happened? Shit, eleven? Last time I’d checked the clock it had been a quarter past four. Outside was dark, but it never got really light at this time of the year especially as it had been raining all day. It was difficult to tell what time it was. I stood up and started to pull on my jacket. “I need to go.”

  It was Saturday.

  This was my evening with Violet.

  She and I were supposed to have dinner.

  We were meant to be opening her acceptance letters this evening.

  Shit.

  The enormity of what I’d done was suddenly revealed, as though a veil had been lifted on my memory. I grabbed my mobile and rushed out of chambers. Sebastian was muttering something, but I didn’t have time to hear it.

  I strode out toward the exit of Lincoln’s Inn to get a cab and pulled out my phone as I went. I swiped the screen and saw the three missed calls. Fuck. I was an idiot.

  The preparation for the Bar Humbug trial was almost complete, but we’d come across a number of issues today that had taken longer than expected to solve. Thank God Sebastian had been there, or I would have had to work through the night. I just hadn’t expected them to have taken this long. I didn’t know how I could have just let the time go like that. I’d been so immersed in my work I hadn’t remembered Violet. I groaned and pressed dial.

  It rang twice, and then I was abruptly cut off. Not like it would have been if the phone had been turned to silent and my call had gone ignored. No, Violet had seen the call and cancelled it.

  Christ.

  I didn’t know what to do. I needed her to understand that I’d just lost track of time and it wasn’t a reflection on her. Except, what else could it be?

  A dull ache in my stomach grew as I flagged the taxi down and began the short journey back to Mayfair.

  I stared at the screen on my phone, willing Violet to call back. I had three unopened messages.

  The first message, sent a little after five, asked what time I’d be back.

  Damn. I should have picked up this message sooner and replied. I’d just been in the thick of it. But it was no excuse. I’d promised her and I’d broken that promise.

  The second
message—asking when I’d be back—had come in just after seven. And the final one was from twenty minutes ago. She said she was going to bed.

  I grimaced. Ordinarily, Violet and I texted off and on during the day, more on a Saturday when she wasn’t at work. But today had been overwhelming, and Sebastian and I were more than a little punch drunk from the hours we’d been working.

  I typed out a message.

  I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize the time. I’m on my way home now. Work has been brutal.

  She was probably asleep. But an uncomfortable feeling lodged in my gut.

  The cab pulled up outside the Hill Street house. I paid and jumped out. The lights were off, so I fumbled in my pockets for the key she’d given me earlier in the week. She couldn’t be asleep already, could she?

  I entered the dark house and closed and locked the door behind me. Going into the living room, to check that Violet wasn’t sleeping on the sofa, I glanced around the room, trying to find an explanation for my unsettled feeling. I set down my case and peeled off my coat and jacket, striding into the dining room to put them on the back of the chair.

  My heart stopped.

  The table was laid with a white tablecloth, crystal wine glasses, silver cutlery, candles, and white orchids. The whole thing looked beautiful. The table had been set for me, for us. In celebration of her future or our future together.

  I hadn’t turned up.

  I hadn’t called her.

  I pressed my thumb and forefinger against my forehead. I had to make this better. I turned to find a speaker set up on the dresser with her iPad plugged in. I swiped it open.

  A Nightingale Sang in Berkley Square.

  Fuck. I was a selfish man who didn’t deserve Violet King.

  Violet

  I opened my eyes as the faint click of the front door closing drifted upstairs.

  Alexander had left.

  I glanced at the clock. It was five after nine. He was late this morning. Maybe he’d lingered to see if I’d stir. Fact was, I hadn’t slept much at all and had been awake for hours. I’d heard him come in, but had pretended to be asleep. I hadn’t wanted to talk to him. Didn’t want to have a conversation about where he’d been and why he hadn’t called. I knew what he’d say. I knew he’d be sorry, but it wasn’t enough.