The Royals Series

by Bay, Louise

  “It wasn’t one of the better events they’ve put on, but I have met a couple of nice guys that way.”

  “Not so nice that you’re still dating them,” I said.

  Aurora linked her arm through mine as we made our way around the corner to pick up a cab. Right now I could happily have taken Logan’s helicopter back to Woolton. Being in the city felt a little bit too close to him. But we were staying at the Hill Street house tonight and heading back to Woolton tomorrow.

  “No, you’re right, but you have to take a chance on these things or you might miss your perfect match.”

  I admired the way Aurora kept putting herself out there, kept searching for the love of her life. I just didn’t know if I had it in me. I had never loved anyone the way I’d loved Logan and I knew I wouldn’t have that again, so what was the point of looking?

  “You know what I think?” Aurora asked. “I think you already found your perfect match.”

  My stomach swooped. “Sometimes, things just don’t work out.”

  “And sometimes things that are meant to work out have a shaky start. Nothing is ever perfect. Don’t you ever wonder if you should see if what you and Logan had would clear the bumps and get to the other side?”

  I held my arm out for an approaching cab. “I just don’t want to spend my whole life not knowing if Logan will change his mind and leave.”

  “But isn’t that always the risk in any relationship?” she asked as we climbed into the cab. “People divorce because they change their minds.”

  “But I need to be sure.”

  “Impossible. Nothing is certain in this world. Woolton might burn down, there’s a pretty good chance that I will turn to lesbianism, the W.I. might disband—anything is possible.”

  “How can you say such a thing? The W.I. will survive us both.” I hadn’t expected Aurora to suggest that Logan might still be the one.

  Aurora giggled. “That’s probably the biggest certainty in our lives. But things do change, and I think you’ve got to enjoy the good times when they’re offered. I’m not saying that you should just live in the moment with Logan, like you were doing. But he’s not saying that either. He wants more as well. And you love him and now you know he loves you. I don’t think you should throw away a chance at happiness because it might not work out. The right guy doesn’t happen along often, believe me.”

  I knew what Logan and I’d had, or at least what I had felt for him, was special. I’d never loved someone before and I fully accepted I never would again. “I just can’t bear the pain of the people I love leaving me. I’ve had enough loss. And if I love him now, it will only be worse down the road. The pain would be unbearable.”

  “The only way to guarantee that you’ll never hurt is to never love anyone, and I don’t think that’s who you are. You deserve a family, someone who adores you, someone you adore. You have so much to give, Darcy. Don’t let fear be the thing that keeps you from being happy.”

  I was afraid. Afraid of being hurt, scared of being rejected again. My grandparents’ death, my parents’ abandonment—those had been awful, but I’d survived. Losing Logan was a sharper, more piercing pain, and now that it had begun to dull, I wanted to ensure I never felt it again.

  “And you’ve seen what the dating scene is like. You’re not going to find the love of your life at every speed dating event. You used to think you were destined to meet some landowner wedded to the country, but Logan showed you what you really need. That doesn’t happen a lot.”

  “You’re right. The picture of who I thought I’d end up with doesn’t come close to Logan Steele.” I’d thought I wanted the exact opposite of him.

  “I think you were too concerned with checking boxes–you need someone as passionate, as feisty and single-minded as you are. And I think you owe it to yourself to get over your fears, get over this bump in the road and see what’s on the other side. With Logan.”

  In so many ways, Logan wasn’t what I’d wanted, but he was everything I needed. He was strong, funny, focused and hardworking. He was devoted to his family and would move mountains in order to do the right thing. “Do you think that’s why it hurt so badly? Because I loved him so much?”

  “Maybe. I’m not sure I’ve ever really been in love. Not even with your brother, even though I thought otherwise. But now that I’ve seen you and Logan together, I know what true love looks like. I know what I’m aiming for.”

  I cleared my throat, trying not to cry. “Do you really think that?”

  Aurora nodded. “I really do. And I think it’s special and you need to grab onto it. From what you’ve told me, he gets that he made a huge mistake.”

  “But it was a mistake that broke my heart, Aurora.”

  “And one that he’s trying to make up for. I’ve never seen so many flowers and letters. The guy is sorry. He’s showing you he’s not running, that he’s serious about you. I don’t think he’ll make the same mistake again. Don’t lose him because you’re afraid to try.”

  I could change the washer of a tap, convince a planning committee to reject a new development, I could even re-shoe a horse. But perhaps I had been too scared to let myself love Logan Steele enough to forgive him.

  Chapter Forty

  Logan

  Nothing had been the same since I’d come back from Connecticut nearly two weeks earlier. I’d lost the woman I loved, and I just didn’t know how to live with that. I wouldn’t give up, but hope was fading. I’d not heard anything from her and I wanted to go home. Mope. Feel sorry for myself. Business was the last thing on my mind.

  “Cancel everything this afternoon. If anything urgent comes in, you can call me,” I told my assistant. There was plenty of urgent stuff sitting in my inbox, but nothing mattered anymore.

  “No problem. I was about to come see you when you called me in. Apparently, there’s someone in reception for you without an appointment, but I’ll deal with them.”

  I nodded and began to log off my computer. “Do you know who it is?”

  She glanced down at her notes. “A Darcy Westbury? I’ve never heard of her. Don’t worry, I’ll get rid of her.” She reached for her phone.

  Darcy? Darcy was here?

  “No! Where is she?” My heart started to pound. Why would Darcy be here? Had something happened to my grandmother? Was she hurt? Or could I let myself hope that she was here to see me, that perhaps she’d changed her mind?

  “In reception, I guess. You want me to see why she’s here?”

  I’d already started across the office. Sure enough, I saw Darcy talking animatedly to one of the receptionists, her beautiful chestnut-brown hair loose and swaying down her back. I yanked open the glass door and our eyes locked. Without saying anything, Darcy silently followed me back to my office. Whatever she’d come here for didn’t need an audience.

  My assistant said nothing as I led Darcy inside and closed the door behind us. “Is everything okay? Did something happen with my grandmother?”

  She shook her head and frowned, two small ridges forming above the bridge of her nose. Had I never noticed that before, or was she wearing a facial expression I’d never experienced? Somehow, I felt cheated. There would be so much of Darcy that I would never know. I was such an idiot.

  “What are you doing in London?”

  She ignored my question and took a seat in one of the chairs in front of my desk. I wished she’d just tell me why she was here. My palms were sweating. I was fighting every instinct I had that told me to touch her, kiss her, hold her.

  “Aurora and I went speed dating last night.”

  I banged my fist against the door, trying to contain my anger into that one single movement. Dating? Fuck. What had I expected? I blew out a breath, then took a seat behind my desk. “Go on.”

  “I stayed at the London house last night, not that I’ve slept,” she mumbled. “I’ve been doing nothing but thinking and missing you—it seems that’s all I do these days.”

  I tried to control my breathing and
listen carefully. Had she just admitted to missing me? “What did you say?”

  “I can’t just turn these feelings off. I’ve tried, but I still love you.”

  Her words slid over me like a cool shower on a muggy August day. I closed my eyes and took a breath. When I opened them, she was looking right at me. “So, I decided to come here this morning and tell you.”

  “And what about the guy, or guys from last night?”

  “From speed dating?” She shook her head. “Obviously, they were all awful. None of them were you.”

  Was she prepared to give me another chance? I didn’t want to push her, but I needed to know more. “It’s good to see you. I mean, it always is, but I’ve missed you so much. I wondered if I’d ever lay eyes on you again.”

  “You hurt me so badly. I’ve never known pain like that.”

  Her agony wound around me in a mixture of guilt and shame. How could I have been so selfish? “I know, and I’m so sorry. I want to make it up to you, to prove to you that I’m worthy of your love.”

  She trapped her bottom lip between her teeth. I rarely saw her look so unsure about anything. She was so capable and confident. Had I robbed her of that?

  “What can I do? Please, Darcy. Anything. I’m miserable without you. I’m nothing without you.”

  “Don’t say that. You’re everything I never realized I wanted in a man.”

  My breath caught in my throat. The more she spoke, the more hope filled up my chest, my heart, my soul. Hope for a future. “If you give me a second chance, you’ll never regret it. I pledge to you right now that I will love you forever. My feelings took me by surprise, but I understand them now. I understand what you are to me. You’re everything, and I won’t make the same mistake twice. I love you, Darcy. I’ll always love you.”

  “But you will make mistakes,” she replied and the fist around my heart tightened. “And so will I. We need to get better at working through them. Because I can’t lose you again.”

  I couldn’t hold back any longer. I stood and rounded my desk. I had to be closer to her. “Do you mean…” I could barely form the words. “Have you come back to me?”

  She stood and tipped her head back, her hand sliding over my chest. “I never left.”

  I’d missed her warmth, her touch, her scent so much that it was almost overwhelming me. “I’ll never let you go again.”

  “I don’t think I’d survive if you did.”

  I wanted to ask her to marry me right then—I wanted to bond us together, make this permanent, but I knew ever-practical Darcy would think it was too soon. For now, I would settle for having her in my arms. I had some work to do to prove that I would be a worthy husband. But I was confident that I understood my priorities now and it wouldn’t be long before I made her my wife.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Darcy

  As soon as I saw Logan, the gray half-moons under his eyes, the way his jacket fit more loosely than it should, I knew he was hurting just as much I was. And now, in his arms, it was as if the world had been put back together. I reached up to cup his face, to check that it was all real.

  “I love you so much,” he said.

  “We need to expect failure—one or both of us are going to freak out sometimes. You’re just not allowed to give up,” I said.

  “I get it.” He slid his hands over my arse and pulled me toward him.

  “Logan, we’re in your office.”

  “Right,” he replied. “My totally private office.”

  “Never going to happen,” I replied. “I’m not becoming the topic of office gossip. That’s my brother, not me.”

  He walked backward toward his desk, pulling me with him. Without letting me go, he grabbed his wallet and phone and slid them into his pocket. “Then we’ll leave. It’s been far too long since I’ve kissed you. Even longer since you were naked in my arms. I can’t wait any longer.”

  “You have work and we have a lot to talk about. A lot to figure out.” We had to be sensible. But I wanted him too. “And a lot of naked time in our future.”

  “Don’t you get it?” he asked. “Work doesn’t matter to me when you’re in the room. I’ve learned my lesson, Darcy. You’re my priority now.”

  I knew Logan Steele well enough to know that he didn’t say anything he didn’t mean. To hear how he loved me and how he wanted to make things work—I knew those weren’t easy things for him to say. He meant it. He was a man of honor. I knew our road ahead might be bumpy, but I was now convinced that he was committed to the journey.

  “You can’t just abandon your company for the day. Be practical,” I said.

  He sighed. “I absolutely can.” He took my hand and pulled me out of the office. “Julie, I’ve left for the day. Oh, and this is Darcy. She never needs an appointment and can interrupt any call or meeting I have.”

  “Logan,” I said, wanting him to stop.

  “She’s my…everything. And she comes first.”

  Julie’s face lit up. I wasn’t sure it was delight or shock. “Good to know, sir. Enjoy your day.”

  I didn’t even have a chance to say hello to Julie before Logan was striding to the lifts. I just offered her a little wave and she gave me a thumbs-up.

  I figured that Logan was on a mission to prove he’d changed. That he was no longer convinced that he didn’t do relationships, that we were no longer friends who hung out. The determination in his grip, the resolve in his words…he meant business.

  We stepped into the lift. “I know you wouldn’t say yes if I asked you right now,” he said, pressing the button for the lobby, three or four times. “But make no mistake, we’re together forever. I’m going to buy you a ring, take out an advert in The Times, and pledge to honor and cherish you in front of the entire universe. It’s all going to happen.”

  It took me a moment for his words to sink in. Was Logan Steele talking about marriage? “You don’t need to do any of those things. You’re enough, Logan.”

  “I’ll never be enough, but I’m going to spend my life trying to be the man you say yes to.”

  He was right. A proposal right now was too soon. But there would come a time when our road wouldn’t be so bumpy, when things would have settled between us and we’d be looking forward to the rest of our lives.

  I believed it. I believed in us. And I couldn’t wait.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Logan

  The bird’s-eye view of Woolton Village had never looked so perfect. It was possible to make out the farm shop, the community center and the pub, and of course, the estates of Woolton Hall and Badsley House, nestled right next to each other.

  Next to me, Darcy said, “I can’t believe I let you talk me into the helicopter.”

  “It was the fastest way home.”

  “You’d better land in the grounds of Woolton Hall then. I want you to myself for a while before we take tea with your grandmother.”

  “Yes, let’s not think about my grandmother for a few hours. It’s likely to kill my libido.”

  “And we don’t want that,” Darcy said, raising her eyebrows.

  I clenched my jaw and ran through the time it would take to land, get to the house and strip us both naked. I reckoned we could do it in less than five minutes.

  In the end, it took seven.

  “God, you take my breath away,” I gasped as Darcy came out of the bedroom in her underwear.

  “You’re already naked,” she said. “I thought you’d want me to undress you.”

  “Not today. Not now. I just want to be with you.” I reached for her.

  She tilted her head as if she didn’t yet believe how much I wanted her. “How can two people, so stubborn and single-minded about so much, work together so well in bed?” she asked, stepping toward me.

  “I don’t know,” I said as I walked her back toward the bed. “But I’m not arguing.”

  I cupped her breasts, one in each hand, enjoying their delicious weight in my palms before I bent to take one in my mout
h. I groaned as the soft flesh connected with my tongue. Fuck, I’d missed this. I’d missed her.

  Now that I had her back, all I wanted to do was worship her.

  Her hands trailing down my arms as I stepped away. I needed to look at her, study her curves, make sure I wasn’t missing anything. No, the sweep of her neck into her shoulder was still the same, the way her breasts jutted out in need, familiar. The arc of her waist was how I remembered. The softness of her stomach, the smooth, milky skin. She was still my Darcy.

  “Logan,” she whispered, distracting me from the hypnotizing pull of her body.

  I glanced back up at her. “I’ve missed you so much. I’m so lucky you gave me another chance.”

  I lifted her up onto the mattress and crawled over her, caging her in. She was mine. Now and forever. I had the rest of my life to be with her, the rest of my life to discover every expression she had. “So beautiful,” I whispered as I pressed my lips to the base of her throat.

  She drew her legs up and the slide of her skin against mine set sparks off all over my body. How had I let this woman go? Even for a moment? I paused, wanting to remember it, to scorch the relief, the joy at having her back onto my brain. I wanted to treat her with honor and adoration. But I also needed to fuck her, make her mine again, push into her and prove that we were supposed to be together.

  “Hey,” she said, stroking her fingers over my jaw. “I’m not going anywhere. We can do it all.”

  “I know,” I replied. “But it’s different now.” I’d always respected and admired Darcy, but I had a new level of reverence for her now. She was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. The woman I was going to have children with. I would only make love to her for the rest of my life. And I wanted to do it right.

  She shifted underneath me, teasing my cock with a circle of her hips. “I really hope the sex isn’t different.” She grinned. “Because that might be a game changer. Don’t treat me like glass.”