What She Concealed

by Jannat Bhat

  “Uncle Steve, I have to go but I promise I’ll call soon.” She said, gaze on Julian. “Give my love to Aunt Tessa, love you both, bye.”

  His face and hair were still wet and the t-shirt clung to his body showing off his upper body highlighting the hard muscles underneath. But before Eliana could say anything, Julian shook his hair in her face, sprinkling water on her, in mischief. He was so close, she saw his dark lashes were wet emphasizing the grey of his eyes. “We should go.” She muttered.

  “I can’t let you go. That appears to be my problem.” He’d responded with a wink. Julian’s lips slowly stretched into a heartbreaking smile and he smoothly wiped the water from her face and she ran away from him towards the gardens, laughing with him at her heel, his heart soaring in joy at her happiness.

  After everyone was settled in for the night at Holiday Inn, Eliana felt restless.

  The place was located in one of the quieter areas of the city and maybe it was the silence that kept her awake as compared to the buzz of the main city traffic. She decided to go out and get some air. Taking her stole to wrap over her tank top, she went outside, passing the gym towards the swimming pool area to indulge in a late-night stroll. She was midway to the sun lounge when she saw someone already seated on it. She felt butterflies in her stomach, looking at his striking profile in the dim light. She moved forward without a sound and took a seat next to him.

  “Hey.” She said in a quiet voice.

  “Couldn’t sleep?” Julian asked back, hushed. Eliana shook her head at his question. “Yeah, me neither.” He said. “It’s so peaceful here, I almost don’t want to go back.”

  “Me too. I miss this Chicago, I used to be here every chance I got when I was a child.” She said. “Dad used to come here often for conferences. I wish my Mom was here too. She loved this place as much as I do.”

  Julian listened to her speak. He liked the sound of her voice. He wanted to hear her all night long.

  “What about your parents? Where are they?” She asked him and he tensed at the unexpected question. “You never speak about them.” She recalled him getting mad when Ethan had mentioned Julian’s father on his first day.

  “There isn't much to say.” He spoke the words he hadn’t voiced to anyone in a long time. “My Mom left us. My Dad and I.”

  “Left?” Eliana hadn’t anticipated that answer.

  “Left and went away with someone else.” Julian clarified. “Because I wasn’t worthy enough for her to stay.”

  “That’s not true, Julian.” She laid her hand over his. “Don’t say that. Don’t lessen your worth because someone wasn’t able to recognize you for who you are. You are worthy, Julian Rivera. More than most.” She smiled at him warmly and Julian took her hand in both of his. “And your Dad?”

  “He’s . . . around.” Julian said. Talking about his parents was his least favorite topic. “I think.”

  “Julian, what’s going on? What happened?” She asked gently. “Tell me.”

  “I’m just not proud of where it led me, Elly. Where their absence in my life led me.” He said.

  “But you’re a senior at Imperial High, Julian. The best school in the country. What’s not to be proud?” Attending this school which was globally recognized, was one of the things Eliana felt most satisfied and happy about.

  “That’s not all I’ve been. I’ve . . . I haven't always been the guy you know.” Julian sighed heavily. “I’ve hurt someone before. It could have been bad if he hadn’t received medical help. That is the reason I decided to change in the first place. Because I didn’t want a repeat of what had happened. And I regret it every day of my life.”

  “It still keeps you up at night, doesn’t it?” She asked interpreting the shadows under his eyes. “This is what you were talking about when we got locked in that dumb haunted room that night. The demons that torment you.”

  Julian looked at her meaningfully and nodded. “You remember.”

  “I’m sure whatever it was that you did, you have repented since then. Don’t be so hard on yourself, Julian.” She consoled. “And I’m sure your parents love you very much. How could they not?” How could anyone not love Julian Rivera? She thought.

  “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, please.” He hasn’t wanted to talk about it in years. It didn’t mean he didn’t miss his parents. But he wasn’t going to beg for a love that wasn’t given freely. “I even said please.” He gave her a ghost of a smile.

  “Okay, no worries.” She said. “You know, whenever Dad used to be busy with his conference, Mom, Jax and I used to go to Auditorium Theatre.” Eliana changed the subject. “I absolutely loved to watch people perform and then I used to copy those move and dance by myself when we got back home. I loved to dance. Mon used to find me dancing by myself all the time.” She smiled at the memory.

  “I can imagine. You’re a fantastic dancer. I’ve had a peek.” Julian looked at her tenderly. “You want to dance right now?” He asked, already missing the feel of her in his arms since her last held her at the cafe.

  “With you singing?” She asked.

  “I am a fantastic singer. You’ve had a peek too.” He boasted. “C’mon. Get up.” He took her hand and led her a few steps away, where he swayed her to his tunes of the same song he had sung the last time.

  “You seem to like this song,” Eliana commented.

  “I do. Apart from the fact that it’s the only lyrics I can remember, I do love it.” Julian twirled her around in slow circles. He was an old school guy. He loved old and antique things. Though he appreciated emails and electricity, he had an affinity for the vintage.

  “How is your insomnia?” She asked. “Do you take any medication for it?”

  “How did you know?” He asked, surprised.

  “Not everything needs to be said, Julian.” She repeated his own words to him. She had only guessed that his nightmares kept him up but his answer confirmed her suspicions. “What’re you thinking about?” Eliana continued swaying in his arms.

  “I’m thinking about how much you scare me.” He said his chin atop her head.

  “You’re scared of me?” She asked as she tried to decipher if he was kidding with her.

  “Hmm. Very much.” He murmured.

  “And what is it about me that scares you, Julian Rivera? Is it the things I do or the things I say?” She asked lightly.

  Julian was quiet for so long that she almost thought he wouldn’t answer. “What you say doesn’t bother me, Elly, it’s what you don’t say that scares me. The feelings you keep hidden within you, the battle you fight with them, I can see you struggling. I wish you’d let them free. I wish you’d set me free.”

  Eliana thought about his words long after they had gone to their rooms.

  Weeks passed by and Julian and Adrew had won Imperial High and trophy at an away game. Jonathan Bennett was proud of his students and made sure they felt appreciated after putting in so much hard work and diligent efforts for the game alongside the studies they had to manage. So he threw the seniors a party in the event hall. After the debate and discussion he had with the faculty, they were all in agreement.

  Julian was taking a sip of his coke when Jax joined him. “Another game in. Congrats man.” Jax wished him. “Keep this up and they’ll put up your picture on the Wall of Glory anyway.”

  “Thanks. I told you I would win.” Julian accepted Jax’s wishes and waited for Eliana to show up. She had to return a book to the library. These past weeks with her had made him happier than anyone ever had.

  “Listen, I’ve had something on my mind for a while now and was hoping to clear it with you,” Jax said, turning serious.

  “Sure, what’s up?” Julian faced him noticing the change in his tone. He downed his cup and left it on the table.

  “It’s about that bet we made,” Jax said with his hands in his jeans pocket.

  “Bet? Which bet?” Julian couldn’t remember.

  “The one about El. Where you make her fall for you
, but I want to take it back. I think El’s taking it seriously. She’s naïve and innocent. She doesn’t get that you’re messing with her again.” Jax had observed how Eliana and Julian gave each other stolen looks and how they’d stopped arguing almost completely.

  Julian couldn’t care less about the stupid bet. He was in love with Eliana.

  “I don’t care if I win or lose but I don’t want to see my sister get hurt over this. It might break her heart if she finds out.” Jax continued. “The bet’s off.”

  Julian was about to tell Jax that he had long forgotten about the bet, but when he turned his head away before answering, to his horror, he saw Eliana standing nearby with her attention on them.

  “Elly.” Julian breathed her name.

  Jax turned too and cursed under his breath. Eliana could only see Julian at that moment. “It was all a bet?” She paled. Of course, it was all a game to him, she thought. How could I have been so stupid? And I was foolish enough to believe that I had something real with him. Something true and honest.

  “Elly, you don’t understand,” Julian said coming forward. “It wasn’t. . .”

  “I understand just perfectly. Congratulation on winning.” She wasn’t sure which one she meant. The trophy or the bet. She ran away from the hall as if the devil himself was at her heels. Her throat clogged up and she didn’t wipe the tears that ran down her face.

  It had all been lies! She thought miserably as she got in her car and sobbed over the steering wheel. The dances they shared, the song he’d sung, it had all meant nothing. It had been an act to make me love him and like a fool I did. I fell for all of it and he had been pretending this whole time. But he didn’t have to know about her true feelings. Because if he did and looked smug about it, she wouldn’t be able to bear it. She ignored the bunch of missed calls and voice messages Julian left her that night and switched off her phone shutting herself from him, at least for the night.

  Jax found Eliana in her room later and saw the tear-stained face of his sister, he knocked to announce his presence.

  “Why are you here?” She snapped when she saw him lingering at her door. “Go away! I don’t want to talk to you right now.” Thankfully her father wasn’t home from his celebratory dinner with the faculty.

  “I was worried about you.” He said simply and came in.

  “How could you do this, Jax? How could you bet on me?” She asked her sibling as he sat next to her on the bed. “On my feelings. I’m your sister for god’s sake!”

  “I’m so sorry, El. I never meant to hurt you. I simply wanted him to understand that not all girls would fall for him. Especially my level headed sister. But it looks like I was wrong.” He said. It didn’t escape his notice that his sister was clutching the photo frame of their mother to her chest. Jax realized that it was too late to warn the grey-eyed guy away from her. Eliana was already in love with Julian.

  “No! You’re not wrong.” She denied vehemently. “He’s the most terrible human being alive! All he does is lie and play games with people without thinking of the consequences of his actions as long as he’s having fun. I could never fall for someone like him. Never!” Eliana thought that maybe Julian was getting back at her for handing him to the police months ago. But she had thought he’d forgiven her. But maybe he hadn’t. She didn’t know what to think anymore. Could he be so cruel? She cried to sleep, finding unable to stop.

  The next morning, she felt groggy due to lack of peaceful sleep and had to pay extra care as she did her make up to conceal the puffiness and dark circles that attacked her eyes. Jax took one look at her and felt regret wash over him at his thoughtless decision of making the bet. He tried to talk to her but she brushed him off and hurriedly ate her breakfast. Jax and Eliana seldom saw their father at home as he left for the school early and came home late. Jonathan Bennett was the model of dedication to his work. Being an academic scholar didn’t come easy. When they were out the door, the siblings noticed a guy outside their gate looking right at them.

  “He’s been waiting for you since last night,” Jax told her and Eliana stiffened next to him. Jax had seen him and gone to speak to him. Julian declared that he wouldn’t be moving until he had cleared things with Eliana.

  “We should go, Jax. Don’t want to be late to class.” Eliana walked to his car.

  “At least hear him out.” Jax felt it was his fault that messed up the truce between the two. From what he had seen, Julian wasn’t faring any better than Eliana. But standing out here all night seemed a bit extreme. Was it possible that Julian felt the same way as his sister? Jax wondered. Was he in love with El too? It certainly looks like it.

  Julian started to come in to catch Eliana before she left. He found himself in a desperate need to talk and explain.

  “We have nothing to say to each other anymore.” She opened the car door. “Are you coming or do you want me to take my car?” She wanted to avoid Julian at all costs.

  “I’m coming.” Jax walked to the car and got into the driver’s seat and started the engine. Eliana rolled up her window when she heard Julian. “Elly wait! Please!” But Julian couldn’t catch them as Jax drove onto the main street with a sympathetic look at him. Julian cursed in frustration. His body ached from standing in front of her house all night and his head and heart felt heavy. But he didn’t care because Eliana was hurt much worse than him. And she was all he cared about.

  When the students were at their lockers before first period, Mia saw Eliana looking gloomy and worn out.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” She asked and laid a hand on her back. Her friend’s despair showed clearly on her face and Mia was concerned for her. Eliana was a sweet and sensitive girl and Mia could think of a million things that could have depressed her. And after she had come to console her when Andrew had bailed, she owed it to be there in case Eliana needed her. Apart from Julian, Jax, and Eliana, the others weren’t aware of what had transpired at the party last night.

  “Nothing,” Eliana muttered.

  “Who stole your smile?” Carter didn’t like to see his friend sad either. Julian came in and went straight to his locker and had heard Carter’s question. He looked at Eliana to gauge her mood. He tried to talk to Eliana again but when she saw him approaching, she quickly grabbed her books and slammed the locker close and left. Julian sighed heavily and rubbed his tired eyes.

  “Ah, it looks like they fought again,” Ethan observed as he saw Eliana rush away.

  “Yeah, but she never looked like this before. What did you do this time, Julian?” Naomi asked with a scowl and both hands on her hips.

  Julian avoided answering. He quickly got his books and went after Eliana. He knew he had screwed up and was determined to do anything to make things right with her again. He caught her at the table before Ms. Diaz showed up but she pushed him away.

  “Who the hell do you think you are?” She whispered furiously, not wanting to make a scene. “I have nothing to say to you!”

  “Elly, please hear me out.” Julian tried again. “You don’t understand.”

  “You’re quite a player, I’ll give you that. I don’t know how I expected you to be a decent human being. I almost fell for your act, Julian. Almost.” She fought hard not to give in to her urge to cry as she looked at the guy in front of her looking drained and heartbroken. But as she’d said, it was all an act. And she didn’t care. Not anymore. “But guys like you never change, do you?”

  “Guys like me?” Julian frowned. “Elly, what are you saying?” Why won’t she just hear him out? He thought. Her stubbornness frustrated him to no end.

  “Don’t try to talk to me again,” Eliana said before she sat and turned her face away. “We’re done.” During break when she opened her locker, she found a rose with a note saying in big and bold letters. I'M SORRY. Eliana tore it with a vengeance and threw them both in the trash bin. She didn’t even sit with her friends and opted to sit out alone in the outer area.

  “I miss you guys pulling each other’s leg. T
hat was entertaining rather than you both all out of your tune.” Carter said.

  “I know right!” Naomi agreed. “Just apologize for whatever you did.”

  “What else do you think I’ve been trying to do?” Julian ran a hand through his hair. “But she won't even talk to me!”

  “Let her be for a few days and she’ll bounce back,” Jax advised. “Give her some space.”

  “Yeah, she looks all sad and you look . . . not yourself,” Mia commented.

  Before leaving school, Julian yet again tried to apologize to her but she left hurriedly without saying her goodbyes to anyone. Julian went after her but Jax stopped his relentless pursuit. “Give it a rest, Julian.” He said.

  “Jax, you don’t understand,” Julian said.

  “Look, it’s not like you were really in love with her,” Jax said. “It was just a bet, leave it alone.”