Rubicon

by Linda Coleman

  Antony smiled the happy, stupid smile of a drunk. “Madam, I am deeply honoured that you would ask, but I fear that on this occasion I must decline. I am afraid my performance would be somewhat lacking.”

  Melissa sighed. “I am not asking you for sex. I want you to get out of those disgusting things so I can clean you up. Then I will put you to bed where you can go to sleep, alone. Understand?”

  Antony looked sheepish. He nodded and dutifully removed his soiled tunic and loincloth with Melissa’s help until he sat before her naked. Melissa poured some of the water into another wine glass and made him drink it. When he had finished, she made him drink another and then set to washing him down. The water was icy cold and he protested to begin with, but eventually he lay back and let her wash the worst of the stench from his skin. When she had finished, she rubbed him briskly with the towel and helped him into Vitruvius’ tunic. It was too tight for him, but he was clean and decent, which was all that mattered. Melissa took the dirty clothing and the towels away, returning with a fresh pitcher of water for Antony to drink. She knew she had to keep him hydrated, or face his massive hangover in the morning.

  The coldness of the water had a sobering effect. As Melissa poured him another glassful, Antony grabbed her wrist. “I am sorry to come to you like this. I should not have done so,” he said sadly.

  “Well, you are here now and you are safe. That is all that matters. We have all been worried about you.” Melissa’s reply was soothing. She knew what it was like to lose someone important. She had felt that all-consuming pain more than once and she was not about to judge him for his behaviour. What he needed was sympathy, not criticism. She sat next to him, taking his hand off her arm to hold it in hers. “Where have you been?” she asked, showing genuine concern.

  “I cannot tell you. I do not honestly remember. I went to see Fulvia. I thought it only proper that I be the one to tell her he ...” Antony broke off mid-sentence. Melissa squeezed his hand gently and began rubbing the back of it.

  Antony took a deep breath and continued. “I had to be the one to tell her Curio was gone. He was closer to me than either of my brothers. It was the honourable thing to do.” Melissa nodded, but said nothing, letting him continue. “I left Fulvia and came here, but it appears I may have become a little lost along the way. How long has it been?”

  “Four days,” Melissa replied

  “Four days,” Antony repeated. “That is a long time even by my standards. Caesar will be angry, no doubt.”

  “Caesar is concerned, but he does not blame you for your reaction. He understands you are in pain, as do I. Curio was a good friend and you must feel his loss keenly.”

  Antony stared at Melissa for the longest time without speaking. As they looked at each other, Melissa felt the need to reach out and hold him as she would have done for anyone suffering so badly. Curio had played a significant part in Antony’s life and his sudden loss appeared to have broken the man now sitting in front of her. Antony looked so alone and vulnerable, which was not something she had expected to see in a soldier with his considerable reputation. She desperately wanted to console him, but she did not dare. She had no idea what he would read into an action that she believed she meant only from kindness. Instead, she let go of his hand and poured him another glass of water.

  “Tell me you knew nothing of this. Tell me you did not see his death,” he said as he took the glass from her hands.

  “I wish that I could tell you that, but it would not be true. I knew he was destined to die.”

  “Was it out of revenge that you did not tell me? Did you hold your tongue because of what we did to your friend? If that is the case, what terrible justice do you have planned for me?” Antony’s mood swung from disbelief to all-consuming grief as he spoke. He dropped his head and began hitting his temple with his hand to try and blot out the graphic images of Curio’s death that were filling his mind.

  Melissa could no longer bear to watch him suffer such agony. She put her arm around his back and began rubbing his shoulder as she tried to convince him he was not to blame.

  “Oh, Antony, it was not from revenge. Rebecca was just as responsible for her actions as you were, perhaps more so. I did not tell you of Curio’s demise because there was nothing you could do to prevent it, but I know you would have tried to save him and most likely caused your own death. You may annoy me at times, but I have no wish to see you die. Your future is too important for that to happen.”

  Antony turned his head to face Melissa. He seemed touched by her sudden admission of concern. He reached out to touch her face and she allowed him to. His hand gently rubbed her cheek and she closed her eyes at the tenderness of his touch, wanting him to continue. For the briefest moment she was in another time with another man, but as he slipped his hand onto her neck and began to pull her head towards his, she panicked and pulled away. She stood up, blushing at how easily she had let him get to her yet again. Antony moved forward on the couch as if to follow her, but stopped himself as another question crossed his mind. He had to ask it before pursuing his quarry.

  “Why did you not say something to Caesar of Curio’s fate? If he had known of this, he would have sent another officer to Africa in his place.”

  Melissa turned to face him. “Caesar did know. It was originally his intention to send you to Africa until I told him of all the officers sent only Pollio would return. It is why he chose to keep you in Italy. You are too important to Caesar’s plans to be sacrificed at this time. He knew that you would never walk away from a lost cause in order to save yourself. If you had been there, you would have gone to Curio’s aid and died as needlessly as he did.”

  “You lie!” Antony’s pent-up frustrations suddenly erupted as anger. He stood up and threw the wine glass at the opposite wall, making Melissa flinch as it smashed and fell to the floor. Then he rounded on her, pushing her against the nearest wall, his hand to her throat.

  “Caesar would never have knowingly sent Curio to die. He was a good officer and loyal to the cause. Caesar would never give him up so easily. You must have deliberately misled him into agreeing to such a course of action. There is no other explanation.”

  Antony paused in his tirade, glancing away to the water as it continued to trickle down the wall. When he looked back, Melissa could see pure hatred in his eyes, and all of it directed at her. “I have suffered enough of your meddling, woman. I will make you remember this day. If not for the loss of Curio, then for the loss of something as dear to you as he was to me.”

  Antony pushed his body against Melissa’s and kissed her forcefully. She struggled against him, which only made him tighten his grip on her throat, making it difficult for her to breathe. She tried to slide a leg between his, with every intention of bring her knee up hard into his groin, but Antony was ready for her attack and prevented her movement by pinning her legs to the wall with his. He pulled his mouth away from hers and shook his head as if warning her not to try it again.

  “Caesar will kill me if I let you do this” Melissa croaked. She stared into his eyes, which were wild with a mixture of grief and hatred. In that moment he looked capable of anything.

  “And I will kill you if you do not.” Antony’s grip tightened around Melissa’s throat until she could hardly breathe at all. Pain was searing through her chest from the lack of air. The room began to spin and she knew she was going to pass out. If that happened she had no idea what he would do to her. Every instinct told her to fight, but she knew she could not do so for much longer. Melissa allowed her body to go limp and, as she relaxed, Antony responded by lessening his hold on her neck, giving her chance to breathe again. He turned her head away from him and began to kiss her neck, pulling her dress up with his free hand.

  Melissa closed her eyes. Any minute now, she thought, and this will all be over.

  And then it was. Antony had released her. For a split second she had no idea why, but she soon appreciated it was nothing to do with him having a change of heart. Her eyes
shot open at the sound of Vitruvius voice.

  “Caesar said no one was to touch her and that includes you. I will not tell you again.” Vitruvius was glaring at Antony whom he had pulled off Melissa and thrown to the floor. He now stood between the two of them, with his back to Melissa and one arm stretched out towards Antony ready to put him down again if he tried to rise.

  Melissa had never been so grateful to see someone in her whole life. She glanced across at the door where Rebecca stood, bleary-eyed. The noise had woken her and she had come to see what was going on. She shot Melissa an evil look, then turned and walked out of the room. It looked as if she was blaming Melissa for what had happened. No matter what he did, Rebecca still thought the world of Antony.

  Antony stared up at Vitruvius with the same murderous look he had given Melissa as he lay on the floor considering his options. Suddenly his expression changed again. He began to laugh and sat up.

  “Have no fear,” he slurred, “you may keep her and her damned virtue. I would not want her if she were the last woman alive.” Antony deliberately used the same turn of phrase in referring to Melissa as she had used the last time they had met, giving her good reason to doubt his sudden return to his drunken demeanour. He rolled over onto his front and slowly pushed himself up onto his knees. He looked up at Vitruvius pitifully and extended his hand. Vitruvius took it suspiciously, pulling Antony to his feet. Antony fell forward as he stood and hugged Vitruvius as he steadied himself.

  “If I were not so drunk, I would take all three ... no, four of you on ... and win,” Antony slurred. He was laughing again and still holding on to Vitruvius who assumed Antony was seeing double. Only Melissa saw the cold, sobering stare he was giving her over Vitruvius’ shoulder. He was not so drunk that he was beyond reasoned thought, and she could tell he was only withdrawing because his reactions were just a little too dulled by the alcohol he had consumed for him to successfully subdue the sober Vitruvius. Melissa also knew he would be back to try again, and the next time she might not be so lucky.

  Antony let go of Vitruvius and staggered to the door, repeating profuse apologies to Melissa as he went. He meant none of it. They were platitudes for Vitruvius’ ears. As soon as he had left, Vitruvius shut the door and turned to Melissa.

  “How far did he get? Are you still ... intact?” Vitruvius could see the marks on Melissa’s throat where Antony had tried to strangle her, so there was no point in asking whether she was hurt. Instead he had asked the only question that really mattered as delicately as he knew how.

  Melissa was still unable to speak and simply nodded in reply. Antony had failed in his objective, and Vitruvius looked relieved. Melissa could no longer keep her emotions under control and began to sob, sliding down the wall until she was sitting on the floor. Even though Vitruvius had saved her, her mind was filled with thoughts of what could have happened if he had not returned when he did. She tried to close her eyes, but each time she did she could see Antony’s hate-filled face glaring at her. Not ten minutes earlier she had been considering giving in to him. What a fool she had been!

  Vitruvius had no idea what to do for the best. He was blaming himself for ever having gone out. He wanted Melissa to tell him how to help her, but she could not speak. He decided his best option was to hold her for as long as she needed to cry: that was the sort of thing women expected. Slowly he walked over to her and sat down. He reached his arm over her head and gently pulled her towards him in as unthreatening a manner as he could manage.

  Antony meanwhile was not as drunk as he had made Vitruvius believe. He waited outside the room for a few moments while he calmed down. He had been stupid to come to the house in this way. Yes, Melissa could have warned him that Curio would die, but what could he have done? If he had deserted his post and gone to the aid of his friend, he may have suffered the same fate. If he had done so and survived, Curio might still have died, and Caesar would have ostracized him for his poor judgement. Melissa was right once again, and that annoyed him more than anything else.

  What Antony had really come looking for was solace. He could get none from his annoying wife, and the delectable Cytheris was out of town. That wretched woman in the other room was too above herself to recognise his pain and to give him any words of comfort. All she had to do was to lie to him and tell him what he wanted to hear, but she would not. Instead she gave him false hope that she cared for him, inflaming further his growing desire for her. He had never met a woman that could make him so angry, yet at the same time so desperate to be with. He wanted to possess her more every time he met her and vowed that one day he would.

  He was about to leave when he spotted Rebecca standing in the doorway to her room, arms crossed above her now extended belly. She glared at him as he looked at her, angry because she had seen him kissing Melissa. Antony shot her one of his most disarming smiles and approached her. He bent over and kissed her stomach, rubbing his hand over her bump in pretence of caring for his unborn child. He stood up and gently ran one hand into her hair while the other slid around her waist, pulling her towards him. He kissed her as tenderly as he could and although she resisted him momentarily, she soon slid her arms around his neck and allowed him to push her backwards into her room. As he closed the door behind him, Antony knew that the evening would not be a total loss after all.

  The next day Melissa could not face an onslaught of abuse from Rebecca and refused to leave her bedroom. Vitruvius went out late in the morning to find out what news there was of Antony. Neither of them had any idea that he had been in the house with them for most of the night.

  Melissa dozed for most of the morning until she was woken by Rebecca shaking her. As she came round from her dazed slumbering, she could see the girl looked distressed.

  “Caesar is here. He wants to see you, right now,” Rebecca whispered the words as if their patron were present in the room. Melissa nodded and slowly got out of bed. She grabbed a shawl and wrapped it around herself as there was no time to dress properly, but completely forgot about the marks on her neck. She entered the main room alone, as Rebecca refused to follow her.

  Caesar was sitting on one of the couches, but rose to greet her. He stared in horror at the finger marks on her throat before he spoke.

  “Greetings, Lissa, I hope I find you well?” Caesar’s tone was questioning as opposed to a pure greeting.

  “As well as can be expected,” Melissa croaked in reply. Her throat still stung from Antony’s grip. “You honour me with your presence. May I offer you some refreshment?”

  “No, thank you. I cannot stay long. I only wished to offer you my thanks. I believe you found Antony and restored him to us, before he did anything untoward?” Again a statement asked as a question.

  “Antony came to me last night. He was drunk, distressed and in a sorry state. I took the decision to clean him up before sending him home. His behaviour towards me was uncouth, though no serious harm was done. However, I will think twice before I extend the hand of friendship again.” She pulled her hair across her throat, suddenly aware of the marks left there the night before.

  “I apologise, Lissa. I should have known he would blame you for Curio’s unfortunate demise. I have no need of foresight to have anticipated his need for vengeance. It was a misjudgement on my part, which I sincerely hope you can forgive.”

  “There is nothing to forgive. Antony’s pain led him to act irrationally. I am sure we have all felt such a loss at some time in our lives,” Melissa replied with a slight smile to acknowledge the apology.

  “You are too gracious, but I find I cannot argue with your logic. Antony means a great deal to me, despite his somewhat common manners.” Caesar paused, looking thoughtfully towards the door. “Before I leave, there is another matter we must speak of. Your friend is with child. Tell me, why did you not mention this?”

  “It is a trivial matter, not worthy of Caesar’s concern. I did not wish to burden you with our problems.”

  “Ah, but it is my problem. If someone ha
s disobeyed my orders, I should be told. I must know who I can trust and who I cannot. Which of them was it? Antony or Vitruvius? I understand the latter is very fond of her.” Caesar tensed as he waited for the answer.

  “It was Antony, though he has denied it and takes no responsibility for his actions.” Melissa’s voice was hardly a whisper as she said the words. She was horrified that suspicion had fallen on Vitruvius and wondered if Antony had placed that seed of doubt in Caesar’s mind to deflect attention from himself.

  Caesar looked more relaxed. “I am relieved. Had it been Vitruvius, I would have been forced to remove him, leaving me with a new problem of finding someone else to care for you. As for Antony, he has done the right thing in his denial. We have no need to mention it again.”

  Melissa sat down in shock. “Is that it? Antony can do as he pleases regardless of who else suffers? Rebecca carries his unborn child. He tries to kill me, and that is all you have to say?”

  “What would you have me do? Your friend is of little value to me now. I did urge caution on Antony’s part, but I cannot undo the deed that is done. Antony is too important to my plans to punish him for such a triviality as fathering the child of a slave. Under normal circumstances I would have her removed from this house. Surely you know this? And yet I will not do so as I know you would not thank me for it. She will remain in your care purely as a gesture of my appreciation of your good service to me. I am more relieved that Vitruvius is still loyal to me and to his orders. I could not leave him to guard you if he were ever tempted, by either of you.”

  Caesar paused, pressing his fingers together as he pondered the situation. “How close to term is she?” he finally asked.

  “She will deliver at the beginning of February.” Melissa croaked. She was still reeling from what she had just heard.

  “Then you will not thank me for asking you to join me in Greece. I suppose I must leave you here yet again. You will need to provide me with as much information as you can, if I am to grant you this liberty. I will make provision for a midwife to be on hand when the time comes and I will instruct Antony to temper his behaviour towards you, before he makes another unfortunate mistake which would be less easy to forgive.” Caesar’s eyes flitted towards Melissa’s throat again and he wondered how much longer it would be before Antony took his most valuable asset. He toyed briefly with the idea of sending Antony far away from Rome, and from temptation, but his plans relied too heavily on Antony’s considerable abilities on the battlefield. He would need his reckless cousin at his side if he were to defeat Pompey in Greece.