Happiness in Numbers

by Nicole Field

  "Oh." Not exactly her most eloquent, but Elizabeth was holding her gaze so intently, despite that little half-smile.

  "That look you have, I'd see it on Grant, he'd see it on me, we all tried to help him but nothing worked. And now look," she held up the page again.

  Rebecca could only nod at first. "He's a smart boy, he really is…"

  "But?"

  "No but. Well, not about Andy. Just, a lot of parents, they're paying extra money so they expect—"

  "Miracles?"

  Rebecca smiled at the guess. "More, I was going to say. But yeah, that too."

  "Miracles are bullshit, mostly. And overrated. Are you trying, with Andy?"

  "Of course."

  "And is he trying? Most days, I mean?"

  "He's trying," Rebecca said without hesitation. "He gets discouraged, but he's trying."

  "And this," Elizabeth put the math problems down, "is progress."

  "Yes," Rebecca said, though it wasn't a question.

  "Then I'd say that's money well spent, wouldn't you?"

  "I'd say that's your call to make, Mrs.—Elizabeth."

  The one-sided smile became two, both corners of Elizabeth's mouth lifted. "I think I just did, Rebecca."

  There was a brief silence. Elizabeth put the sheet back in the folder and Rebecca started gathering her things, taking too long to realize she should.

  "I would like to talk more," Elizabeth said, like she meant it, "but there's this huge thing at work and I've got to go over some records."

  Rebecca couldn't decide if she was relieved or disappointed that her time with this woman was about to end. They talked about the next session for a short while longer. Elizabeth apologized for her son again. Grant would text Rebeca, or vice-versa, if anything changed.

  "Tell him I hope he feels better?" Rebecca asked as Elizabeth walked her to the door.

  "I will. Thank you."

  Rebeca thought suddenly of Grant's little buddy, the one who always seemed to be at his side or on his mind. "Where's Ellie today?" she asked. How bad was it that she'd wondered about Grant and Kate before the baby?

  "Oh. She's being spoiled by Kate and Michaela. So Grant's rest day can actually be a rest day."

  "Is it strange?" Rebecca asked, unable to stop herself. "Having your boss next door?" Having your boss babysit your child on weekends, she didn't say.

  "Probably," said Elizabeth with a small, secretive smile. "Makes it really awkward for her to fire me though."

  *~*~*

  The next time she visited the Harrison house, Rebecca received a present. It was a drawing from Andy in which he hugged her and they both smiled. He'd written 'I'm sorry' on the bottom in blue crayon. She'd told him before that blue was her favorite color. With Grant watching, he apologized and told her she was his favorite teacher who wasn't really his teacher, but she was still his favorite.

  Rebecca admired the picture and hugged him, and they got on with their work. During a snack break—there were more of those delicious muffins from Kate's shop—Rebecca asked Grant if he was feeling better.

  "Oh sure. Don't I look it? Rested, refreshed and model handsome?"

  He bit into a muffin. Crumbs escaped onto his chin, into his stubble. He wiped them off with his palm, which was covered in marker from Ellie deciding to use it as a canvas. The tag stuck out of his shirt.

  Rebecca bit back a snort.

  And the routine continued. Rebecca saw more of Grant and Kate than she did Elizabeth, but there were a few more weekend sessions with Elizabeth, too. The weekdays, she explained, were still swamped with her job.

  Andy struggled. Rebecca tried to help, hoping every day for that cliché lightbulb moment, when it sunk in and she could see it sink in, see the understanding, the payoff. She felt the pressure to deliver, even if that pressure didn't come from Andy's parents. She wanted to do her job for them, for Andy, to provide real results.

  She liked spending time at their home, even on the hard days. She liked it and she got paid for it, and she owed them something for that.

  The cliché, lightbulb moment came when she, Grant, Kate and Tyler were together. Elizabeth was still at work with Michaela, who Rebecca had yet to meet.

  Rebecca knew Andy could do the math, he'd shown that, but he forgot it easily. He'd do one problem right and then have no idea how he'd done it when he got to the next. He'd stare at his work, at her explanations, like they were Greek. And not the kind of Greek Kate could teach him.

  On this particular day, he was doing well. He tended to guess a lot and sometimes he'd guess right, so Rebecca tested him again, had him carefully talk out his process for the next problem, and the next. It was slow, there were long pauses while he concentrated and studied his notes, but he got the answers. More importantly, he knew how he got the answers.

  A minor riot ensued. Rebecca praised him effusively and meant every word. Grant picked him up and bear hugged him. Kate had been entertaining Ellie and Tyler upstairs, but came down with them at the noise and was just as thrilled when she understood what happened. Ellie and Tyler had no real idea what all the fuss was about, but joined in anyway.

  The whole thing must've looked ridiculous to Elizabeth when she came in. They hadn't even realized she was there until Ellie squealed and pointed her out.

  "Mizzy!"

  That gave Rebecca pause. She'd heard Tyler call Elizabeth that before, a version of Miss Lizzie. Ellie must've picked it up from him.

  "What are we doing?" Elizabeth asked as Ellie ran to her. "I haven't even said anything yet."

  "Said anything about what?" Kate asked. "What should we be doing?"

  "We're being happy 'cause Andy got smart," Tyler explained.

  "Andy's always been smart," said Elizabeth, picking up Ellie.

  "What should we be going nuts over?" asked Kate, bringing them back around to the comment Elizabeth had made upon first coming in.

  Elizabeth told them that the big project at work—which Rebecca had asked about only to be told that Michaela was superstitious and didn't want it jinxed—had finally come through. Jones Construction had been hired to work on a major hotel being built in the area.

  "You got it?" Kate asked. "She got it?"

  "Got it. They called today."

  "Does Michaela know?"

  "Of course. I called her on the job site."

  Rebecca got the impression that this was a rare thing. Kate let out a happy shriek and rushed to Elizabeth, hugging her while she still held Ellie. Ellie grumbled at this but put a sloppy kiss on Kate's cheek.

  After that announcement, Rebecca might've expected Andy's news to be overshadowed. But when it was explained to her, Elizabeth was just as ecstatic as everyone else. She hugged him and kissed him and tickled him until he squirmed, then she came to Rebecca and clasped her hand.

  "Thank you," she said, her hands warm, cheeks flushed with excitement.

  Rebecca's first instinct was to play it off, say it was nothing, but she knew it wasn't.

  "You're welcome," she said, knowing she was smiling like a fool, like she was the one who'd just mastered basic subtraction.

  Grant said they had to celebrate. He said they had to have dinner and Becca had to stay. Rebecca made a half-hearted argument about family time, but then everyone was on her about staying, and she didn't have the willpower to withstand that.

  "I'll text Michaela and tell her we're eating here tonight," said Kate.

  "She shouldn't be long," Elizabeth replied. "When I told her about the contract, she couldn't wait to get home and brag to you."

  "Yeah, I'll bet there are other things she can't wait for, now she's in a good mood."

  "Don't be filthy in front of the children," Elizabeth said, though she was smiling. "You get to be filthy all day at school."

  Tyler came to his mother's defense, insisting that she'd washed her hands before their last snack break. Kate put on a wounded face and stuck her lower lip out at Elizabeth, and Rebecca couldn't help laughing.

 
; Michaela did not take long to arrive. While Rebecca was in the living room playing with the kids—she was firmly ignored when she asked to help with dinner—the front door opened again. Without a knock, because apparently no one did that around here.

  "And mom said my Legos were boys' toys and wouldn't get me anywhere in life!"

  The yell preceded the woman, had Rebecca looking up.

  Michaela's hair was cut short, blonde, streaked darker in some places than others. Her flannel work shirt was dirty and beat up, as were the faded jeans. She came in wearing socks, making Rebecca think she'd left her footwear at the door, though Rebecca had never seen anyone else do it. She was very tan and very dirty at the moment. Which didn't stop Kate in the least.

  She'd been sitting next to Rebecca but stood and launched herself forward now, quite literally jumping at her wife. Michaela caught her like she was nothing, lifting her off the ground and kissing her.

  It was a full kiss. A hot kiss. Rebecca wondered if Kate could cheat on her wife while kissing her like that. Maybe Grant and Kate were just physically demonstrative with each other and what she'd seen didn't go beyond that.

  Still, Rebecca couldn't help but wonder who she was more jealous of right then: Kate or Michaela. But really, was it her fault they looked so good together? Probably not, just her fault for wanting someone who was taken, and wondering about their marriage. Watching them, the idea of Kate deceiving her spouse certainly seemed a very remote possibility.

  Rebecca still hadn't gotten around to figuring out if there was a polite way of asking about that.

  "Babe, I am so proud of you," Kate said, separating long enough to get the words out and then kissing her again. "You did it!"

  "We did," Michaela corrected, setting Kate down. She kissed the back of Kate's hand but looked at Elizabeth, who was digging through the refrigerator. "Elizabeth was the one who triple-checked the numbers, made sure the pitch was ready. Liz, honey, I swear—"

  "You're going to give me a raise?" Elizabeth asked, shutting the fridge and setting some tomatoes on the counter. "Yes, I know. And you know you'll never pay me what I'm worth. Also, someone else in the family did great with numbers today. And we have another guest."

  Michaela looked confused until Elizabeth nodded to Rebecca sitting on the couch. This had everyone in the room looking at her, not just Michaela.

  Rebecca stood, tried not to squirm. Elizabeth introduced them as Andy rushed to tell Michaela that he could do his carryovers now, and Tyler added that it was true, he'd seen Andy do it, he'd done it just right. Rebecca knew perfectly well that Tyler had no idea how the subtraction actually worked, but wouldn't have said anything even if she wasn't more concerned with the way Michaela was eyeing her.

  "Huh," Michaela said. "I'd shake your hand but," she waved her own hand, "I'm very gross right now."

  "Don't you start," Elizabeth said in a warning tone.

  "What? I'm filthy, I'm being polite."

  "Not that."

  "Then what?"

  "You 'huh'd'."

  "I did not."

  "You did."

  "You really did, hon," Kate said, cheerful.

  "I'm not allowed to make noises now?"

  "You're being judgy," said Elizabeth.

  "You're insane. What would I have to be judgy about?" Michaela looked at Rebecca. "My wife says great things about you, Rebecca, and so does my son, and me not holding my filthy, disgusting work hand out to you is me being polite, not judgy. Okay?"

  "Sure," Rebecca said, feeling her face burning up. "I never thought—"

  "She's being judgy," said Elizabeth. "It's not you though, it's her ego."

  "I am not being judgy, it's not about my ego, and I don't know why I employ you, you are an insane person."

  "You are being judgy, miss, 'I use math for a living and still couldn't teach it to a child.'"

  "Oh shut up. You couldn't teach him either."

  "Yes, but I admitted that and didn't take it as a personal defect. And you owe me a bigger raise now, for questioning my sanity."

  Michaela laughed. She told Rebecca it was nice to meet her and thanked her for the cards she made Ty. Then Grant came in from out back, saw Michaela and grinned. He congratulated her and asked if she'd met Rebecca yet.

  "She has," Kate said. "She's just in the middle of scaring her away right now."

  Grant shook his head. "Nah. Becca's made of stronger stuff than that. She's not intimidated by your wealth, power, intelligence and good looks."

  "I kind of am, actually," Rebecca said shyly.

  Michaela laughed again. "I like you. Sorry for being judgy."

  "You were judgy?" Grant asked, frowning.

  "For a minute, max. Lord, I said I was sorry."

  "Well, there you have it," said Grant. "Chinks in her armor. She's judgy sometimes, and she doesn't know how to work a grill."

  This started a heated debate. Michaela protested when she heard that Grant had been outside because he'd already started the grill. She insisted that she would be taking over.

  "Bull. Who here has the most experience with wieners?"

  "God, those jokes. I've told you I can't with those jokes. Elizabeth goes to work every day to get away from those moronic jokes."

  "I have the most experience with wieners," Kate announced.

  "In real life, not reading about them in a book," Grant said.

  "Well, you didn't specify, did you?"

  They argued more about the grill. Grant came out on top, only because Michaela had to run home and clean up before dinner. The closest Rebecca could get to being helpful was playing with Ellie so she wouldn't run around the kitchen and get in the way.

  Michaela was back in record time. Once in the house, she picked Ellie up and gave her a squeeze, then set her down and held a hand out to Rebecca, "Now that I'm not disgusting anymore."

  That was an understatement.

  Short hair still damp from a shower, Michaela had returned barefoot. She wore cargo shorts and a tank top, the latter of which showed off the muscles she must hone every day. The whole impression would be more butch if not for the pink painted toenails and the tiny stuffed bunny sticking out of one pocket, which Ellie promptly stole and held against her chest.

  Rebecca shook the hand, rough and calloused, flashing briefly on the small ouroboros tattoo circling Elizabeth's wrist. This was because Michaela sported ink as well. Much, much more of it.

  Besides the impressive muscle tone, Michaela's tank top also revealed a mass of stars and planets that started just above her left elbow and climbed on past the shirt, to at least her upper back. Vibrant colors, blues, purples, yellows and greens, with a bluish-black surrounding them, clearly representing the darkness of space. Bright yellows of stars and suns drew the eye, but all Rebecca could think at first was one question: How big was the celestial landscape over suntanned skin? What else was covered by that tank top? How vast was the picture? Kate must know the answer. She imagined Kate mapping all of that territory in various ways, the red hair down and touching the dark blue sky.

  Ellie pulled on Rebecca's arm, wanting to show off her rabbit. Rebecca shook herself. She was a supremely terrible person. Who'd been staring at this woman she'd only just met.

  "That is an awesome tattoo," she said as cover, which wasn't a lie at least.

  "Thanks."

  "How long have you had it?"

  "Oh, eight, nine years? About that."

  "Did it hurt a lot?" Rebecca had toyed with the idea of body art, but always chickened out when she imagined the process of it. And that was with her picturing something along the lines of Elizabeth's tattoo.

  Michaela shrugged. "Not really? I've had way worse. Anyway, it's a great conversation piece. Obviously."

  Tyler called for his mama and Michaela excused herself. Rebecca noticed as she was walking away the imprint of what looked like a Hot Wheels car over the butt of the cargo pants. Michaela knelt to talk to Tyler and held still that way for several moments. Rebe
cca kept staring at the tattoo, the strong arm it covered. She couldn't help it and looked until she saw the scars. Hard to catch under the darkened ink, a collection of rather brutal looking lines that crisscrossed that arm, what Rebecca could see of the shoulder.

  She made herself look away then, thankful Michaela hadn't seemed to notice.

  But Kate had, Rebecca realized. A knot formed in her stomach.

  Kate had been on the other side of the floor in the big living room, fiddling with a game controller that Andy wanted to play with now that his work was done. As Rebecca watched, she pushed a new set of batteries in and handed it to him, but said he'd have to stop for dinner soon. She was looking more at Rebecca as she did this though, and then she was standing up, crossing the room. Ellie was busy bopping her rabbit across the floor, and Rebecca braced herself for something terrible.

  But Kate only stepped close and said, "I scored big, didn't I?"

  Rebecca was watching Michaela now and grinning along with her. "You, really did."

  "It's the caffeine," Kate said. "I always get them with the caffeine."

  She squeezed Rebecca's shoulder and sat down. Putting Ellie in her lap, she asked if Rebecca wanted to know the latest about how depraved the Greeks were. Rebecca, as always, said she did. The subject had bored her years ago, but Kate hadn't been the one educating her then.

  She heard about Greek debauchery until dinner, which was hot dogs, hamburgers, fries and onion rings, because Tyler said fries were his mortal enemy. Rebecca asked Michaela about the hotel project, about her business in general.

  "I can't believe you built all these houses."

  "I had help."

  Still. Rebecca found it extremely impressive that she'd started a business, particularly in such a male-dominated field and told her so. "Didn't it scare you, the risk involved?"

  "God yes," Michaela said easily, pausing to tell Tyler not to steal Andy's fries since he wasn't even going to eat them. "But then," she paused again, drummed light fingers on her hamburger bun, "there are different kinds of fear, different levels. You do one very scary thing and get through it? It's not that you're never scared again, you just, perspective happens, you know?"