by Jamie Hawke
“My dad, I don’t know,” Frank said, lying back and glancing over to Keisha. “For example, on my nineteenth birthday, he invited me home, told me we’d have a party and all… but I had plans, and told him we could just celebrate next time I was on break. I had essays, exams, you know?”
She frowned. “No, not really.”
“Yeah, well… turned out he’d actually gotten us tickets to see the newest Star Wars movie in 3D. My dad? He never paid to go to a theater, let alone 3D. I only found out later when a neighbor asked how the movie had been, six months after! That’s how excited my dad had been to take me to such a simple thing as a movie! We just… didn’t connect anymore.”
She leaned up onto her side, stared at him and ran a finger along his chin, “That’s cute… touching. But what is a movie, and what the hell is Three-D?”
Frank chuckled, wondering if he’d ever get used to this, and leaned over to kiss her. “Someday, I’ll show you.”
That seemed to satisfy her curiosity, because she lay with her head on his chest, holding him. “And the birthday celebration?”
“Never happened,” Frank replied, only realizing it for the first time right then. Maybe he’d wanted to, maybe even had something planned, but Frank had been in his own world, going through a breakup after a two-week relationship at the time. Damn. When had he not been lost in his own bullshit? The old man had been there for him, and he’d been… well, a snotty kid.
If he ever made it back, he decided he’d change that. And then, with that thought, he realized he profoundly missed the man.
“I’d like to hear more about him, someday,” Rose said, and Frank lifted his head to see they’d returned. “But right now there’s something you have to see.”
Frank shared a moment with his grandmother, looking into her eyes and realizing she’d never really gotten to know her son—not as well as she probably would’ve liked. Never had the chance to watch him grow old. He nodded, pushed himself up, and followed her up the hill with the other two ladies at his side.
The roar grew louder as they neared the top of the hill, and before they crested the top and looked out to see freeways intercrossing and the cars zooming by, Frank recognized the sound they made.
“What am I looking at, here?” Keisha asked, eyes darting from Frank to the freeway and back, as if he were about to announce it was a big hoax.
“Holy hell,” Rose added. “The world has changed.”
But while they were looking at the cars, Frank was staring at a large billboard that had once been an ad for car insurance. Now it was a woman in a pirate outfit with text reading, “Buckle up or die!” with her sword pointed out toward us.
A different method of enforcement, it’d seem.
“This is normal,” Frank said, but his eyes moved back to the billboard. His mind on the sawed-off bus earlier. “Well, mostly. The amount of cars, anyway.”
“Is this how we’ll get to the city?” Rose shook her head, still processing it. “We had cars in my day, but this… this is insanity.”
“It’s what happens when there are so many people.” Frank glanced left, eyes searching, and then he saw it—a corporate building, with several others behind it through the trees. If there were buildings like that, there would likely be more people, more answers… and maybe a way to catch a ride into the city.
From there, all they had to do was find the PK, steal his version of the compass, and then go back through time to fix all of this. Piece of cake… if the cake was the type to cause major indigestion.
3
“Hey, at least we might not have to change our clothes,” Frank said, leading the way into the suburban strip mall. With a glance around, he figured they might get into trouble so this would be a good time to check his equipment. He still had a pistol and cutlass on him, and drew the pistol, aiming. Sure enough, there was the green reticle to show where he would hit.
Fucking awesome.
Without the blue and green stones, he wouldn’t be able to see his stats or travel to multiple points in time, but at least he could still level up and whatnot. He was level six, as indicated by the Roman numeral on the bottom right of the compass, but he couldn’t apply his skill points without the screen from the green stone to see how and where. He actually opened it, hoping that somehow it would recreate the green, glowing screen that allowed for his skill assignments, but no luck. He’d have to get that green stone back as soon as fucking possible. Especially since he had at least four skill points left to use—two per level for leveling up to five and then six, back in the seventeen hundreds.
Putting it back, he noticed the others were watching him, waiting.
“Worth a try,” he said, and they continued on.
As they entered the strip mall area, his mind was reeling at the sight of everyone walking around in strange combinations of the clothing he was used to but mixed with pirate flair. Esmerelda’s nose was scrunched up, while Keisha licked her lips, as if neither could believe this place was real.
“It’s so… clean,” Keisha said.
Frank laughed. “The owners would love you. This is… I mean…” He looked around at the strip mall. An older woman sat at a bench with a flask in one hand, oversized hat drooped down over her face as she slept. A light drizzle had started, reminding Frank how valuable those pirate hats could be in a place like Washington. It wasn’t a strip mall Frank had ever been to, but it had the generic Mexican restaurant, a pizza place that was half convenience store, and a shop selling jewelry. The place had overflowing garbage bins with paper blown by the wind, moving along the street. He guessed its restroom was around back, and probably smelled horrible. From here he could smell grease, even. But with all of that, yeah, it was probably cleaner than what the pirates were used to.
“Yes?” Keisha asked.
“Nothing. Just… Welcome to the twenty-first century.”
The group walked past, none of them much bothered by the drizzle, and made their way to the nearest bus stop.
“We’re going to have to worry about food, eventually,” Rose pointed out.
Frank nodded with a glance back at the shops. He couldn’t deny that the diet of the pirate days had certainly been lacking in pizza, and he could definitely go for a nice slice of pepperoni at the moment.
“How would we pay?” he asked.
“We’re pirates,” Rose said and winked, then walked off.
Frank frowned. This wasn’t the grandma he’d imagined. Even ignoring the fact that she was so young, he never would’ve thought of his grandma as the pirating type. But as he arrived at the bus stop and checked the schedule, he saw her out of the corner of his eye, pizza box in hand. She also had a couple of hotdogs and a broad smile.
“You didn’t,” Esmerelda said, impressed.
Rose chuckled. “Turned out, no pirating was needed. Well, not the thieving kind, anyway. Just flashed him a glance at the old…” She nodded down to her cleavage, still very much pushed up by her pirate outfit. “Well, you get the idea.”
“Grandma!” I protested, earning a curious glance from a man who was approaching.
“Probably shouldn’t call me that around here,” Rose said, frowning. “And it wasn’t like I planned on it. The man took one look at me and made the offer.”
“And grandpa?” I protested. “What would he think of that?”
Keisha sucked in a breath and I facepalmed.
“Sorry,” Frank said. “I mean…”
“That’s not fair,” Rose said. “I haven’t seen him in so long in my time, and he’s dead in yours. So, what would he think? He’d think it would be great to be alive and have a slice of pizza to eat. Did you know, he was actually raised near the first Lombardi’s location that sold pizza? It was a relatively new thing in my day. Kind of a specialty, although judging by the look of this place, that isn’t the case anymore. In fact, I heard it wasn’t even that big in Italy until gaining popularity in America.”
“Grandma…” Frank frowned,
trying to hint that he very much doubted her story.
“Do you want some or not?”
Frank wasn’t sure how he felt about eating food that had been earned that way, but his stomach rumbled and won out. At least she hadn’t had to whack the guy with her cutlass.
“Just thought you women from the old days were more reserved, is all,” Frank mumbled as he took a slice and eyed it with anticipation.
“She’s been living as a pirate,” Keisha pointed out. “In case you don’t remember, we aren’t exactly the most reserved.”
Frank laughed at that, his mind going to images of the group of pirate ladies as they’d taken him in the jungle, taught him pleasure he’d never even known he was capable of. And then he bit into his pizza, the burst of cheese and delicious slightly-burnt pepperoni filling his mouth with bliss, and he closed his eyes, focusing on two thoughts—that memory of them and this bite of amazing pizza—and how perfect life could be.
“What is it?” Keisha asked, taking her slice of plain cheese and looking at it skeptically.
“Considering the shit you’ve put in your stomach over the years?” Esmerelda scoffed and accepted hers, licking her lips at the sight of it. She took a bite, instantly forgetting whatever else she’d been about to say. “Fuck me, this is good.”
Frank grinned, about to offer to jump on that, when he noticed his grandma giving him a raised eyebrow look.
“Um, yes, good pizza. Thanks, Rose.” Frank turned away, taking another bite as he looked at the schedule again. With his mouth full, Frank said, “Looks like we’re due any minute.”
“Great, maybe there’s time for seconds,” Esmerelda said, quickly devouring her slice. Her eyes went to the hotdog Rose was handing her. “Um… that thing looks like a sausage, but… strange.”
“The infamous hot dog,” Rose explained.
Esmerelda’s eyes went wide and she looked at Frank with a confused smile before accepting it and taking a bite. She was loving it, so Keisha accepted the second. Not as impressed, she gave the rest to Frank.
“Food sure has gone downhill over time,” Rose said, frowning.
Frank laughed. “Trust me, this isn’t the cream of the crop.” At their confused looks, he said, “Meaning, wait until you all get a chance to try a steak house. There’s this one called Annie’s and… well, hopefully one day you’ll see. To die for.”
“You want food worth dying for?” Keisha licked her fingers. “You need to try my turtle meat stew. Take it with boiled cabbage and marinated in spiced wine, you’ll be in heaven. Trust me.”
“I’ll take your word,” Frank said, not sure how he felt about eating turtle. No, scratch that, he was damn sure he could go without it and be fine.
Soon the bus arrived, and Frank was pleased to see that it wasn’t some weird half-bus driven by a pirate. A regular old bus with a plump driver, eyeing them suspiciously.
“Shit,” Frank said, glancing around. He turned back to the driver. “How much?”
“Son, not all of us are pirates.” The driver motioned to get on.
“Free?”
“The fuck do you think?” The driver shook his head, then chuckled to himself in spite of his scowl. “How the hell would the poor you all rob from be able to get around if the bus cost money?”
Frank didn’t answer that, instead boarding and moving toward the rear with his ladies. They all sat back there, glad it was relatively empty, and watched the city start to disappear as the bus pulled away.
“So, what? Rick set up some sort of Robin Hood scheme here?” Frank asked, keeping his voice low.
“Robin who?” Keisha asked.
“A thief who would steal from the rich and give to the poor. I don’t know, but judging from the driver’s comment, it seems there’s some sort of system in place that helps out the lower class.”
“But he didn’t like the look of pirates much,” Rose noted. “Meaning there’s something else here. He wasn’t surprised by us, but was seemingly… annoyed?”
“I caught onto that as well,” Esmerelda noted.
“Who knows how fucked up the rest of the world is.” Frank folded his pizza and wolfed down a couple more bites, watching their surroundings pass.
“This is really your world?” Keisha asked, watching as they passed cars.
Frank nodded, then swallowed. “It was. Like I said, just cosmetic changes, I hope.”
“If it’s as drastic as it likely was to the world I came from, I’d say we’re in for a rude awakening.” Rose leaned back, resting her head on Esmerelda’s shoulder. “Wake me when we get there, yeah?”
“Sure thing,” Frank said, kinda weirded out by his grandma looking like she could be the hot lesbian girlfriend of one of his lovers.
He was in the seat opposite, with Keisha, and she leaned into him in a similar way. Esmerelda shrugged, then leaned back and closed her eyes.
Soon, Frank realized that the others had all drifted off to sleep, and his head was bobbing with exhaustion as well. He allowed his eyes to close, and then suddenly shot up.
In what seemed like an instant, he realized he had likely been asleep for a good half-hour, because they were almost there. The bus was leaving the freeway behind, moving in toward the city that he recognized as Seattle, although his memories were minus the pirate flag on the Space Needle and various other irregularities.
He watched as they entered the city, noting some people dressed in pirate gear, others in regular civilian clothes like he was used to, and still others with modified Viking looks to them, even women with the sides of their heads shaved and wearing bone piercings and armor. Odd, for this time, but he wasn’t sure what sort of culture had evolved here.
Finally, he noted a stop he’d often taken as a teenager, back when he used to go into the city for concerts.
“We’re getting off here,” Frank said as the bus came to a stop, recognizing the glass rectangle of the main University of Washington station. At least the main aspects of the land hadn’t changed.
“But in this time, your grandpa…” Rose started, but Frank cut her off with a wave of his hand. He didn’t want her to have to say it. “No, not him. But what better place to find out some history, see what happened in this timeline or world?”
Keisha and Esmerelda were too busy staring around wide-eyed to argue, and the latter almost didn’t even realize they were getting off until Frank took her hand and guided her.
“Come on,” he said, all of them making it down the stairs of the bus and then watching it pull away. They’d go on to downtown Seattle soon enough, but first they needed some answers.
4
What he really hoped to gain from visiting his old campus, aside from information, was one point Frank wasn’t ready to admit. They walked along the walkway lined with cherry blossom trees in full bloom, a light sprinkle raining down on them.
“Do people not use umbrellas in your time?” Rose was looking around, frowning, her extravagant red hat pulled low to keep the rain from her face.
“Not so much in Seattle,” Frank replied.
“You’d think the students would, at least. Or maybe they’re trying to be cool and fit in?”
A guy walked by just then in a clear rain poncho.
“Clearly, some don’t care about that.” Esmerelda chuckled.
“They might be fine with it,” Keisha said, arms wrapped around herself. “But I’m used to a warmer climate. I hope we have a plan, here.”
Frank nodded, noticing his dorm across the way. He pointed and said, “I figured we’d start there, with my old roommate.”
“Wait…” Rose glanced around, then stepped closer, lowering her voice. “We don’t know how this works. As in, there could be another version of you.”
“Proceed with caution.” Frank shrugged, continuing to walk. “We need answers.”
A glance back showed she wasn’t following, so he stopped. “Seriously. We’ll send in Keisha or Esmerelda first to ensure no other versions of me are aroun
d before we all go in. But my guess is that, since we’re back in my time—even if it is a parallel world or something—I’m the only one of me here.”
She looked skeptical, mumbling how that wasn’t what the theories said. Frank knew she could well be right. In all the shows, there’d been other versions. Sometimes it was something to worry about, others, no big deal. He was hoping for the latter.
Even he had to admit the rain was starting to get annoying by the time they reached the dorm. It was soaking his hair and dripping down the back of his shirt. They entered and found their way to his old room, pausing to let Esmerelda go ahead. She’d volunteered, and now stepped up to the door, giving it a knock.
“Shit,” a voice said from within, followed by the sound of something falling over. A moment later the door opened and there was visible flesh. Frank shook his head. Same old Trent, always getting action.
“Oh, did I interrupt something?” Esmerelda stuck her head in. “Is anyone else here?”
“What? No,” Trent’s voice carried over, bringing with it the realization that, if they had caught him at something, it wasn’t a three-way like last time Frank had been in this situation. “Just… Can I say… wow.”
“No, you may not.” She glanced back and gave Frank and the others a nod, so they stepped out around the corner and walked over to join them.
Trent’s eyes moved over to Keisha, and he gave her a wink. The guy was wearing nothing, but holding a pirate hat over his crotch, at least. When his eyes found Frank, they went wide and he mouthed, “Oh, shit,” before leaping back, forgetting about the hat, and trying to shut the door.
Frank lunged for it, hitting the door with his shoulder and throwing his old buddy back. Not thinking of what his plan was here, the next move was to avert his gaze—because Trent had fallen back, legs spread, and it wasn’t a pleasant view.
“Hot dog,” Rose said, stepping in behind Frank. “What do we have here?”