by Jamie Hawke
Esmerelda grinned. “I think I’m finally understanding the use of that phrase.”
“Don’t—no, no looking.” Frank grabbed the nearest blanket and threw it at Trent. One thing that had always bothered him while rooming with the guy was the way he was way overshadowed in size. His whole life he’d felt confident about what was going on down there beneath the pants, even had a couple of girls tell him how huge it was. Then he rooms with this douchebag, the type of guy who showers and then walks around, six inches of limp dick swinging around for the world to see. Or rather, Frank.
It was a sore subject, so when Esmerelda made a joke about missing the show, he found himself even more annoyed.
“What the fuck are you trying to close us out for, T?”
Trent was up, holding the blanket to his crotch, and glaring. “You aren’t gonna hit me, are ya?”
“What?”
“Tell me you aren’t gonna hit me, and I won’t call campus security.”
Frank scoffed, then realized he was not only serious, but looked afraid. “You know me, man. I won’t hit you.”
He nodded, relaxing slightly, even starting to let the blanket fall.
“No,” Frank cut in, pointing. “Keep the blanket up, and I won’t hit you.”
Trent gulped, holding it tight. This earned snickers from the ladies, and Rose leaned against the far wall, looking at Frank.
“If you’re anything like your grandfather, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” She turned to Keisha and Esmerelda with a raised eyebrow.
“Definitely nothing to be ashamed of,” Esmerelda said.
“I’m not—that’s not what’s happening here,” Frank felt his nostrils flaring, his breaths coming heavy, and realized his hands were in fists. “Dammit. Trent, pal, buddy… why are you talking like I hit you?”
Trent frowned, then looked at Rose and the other two as if trying to find out if this was a joke. “Oh, shit, I see what this is. You were mad at me for fucking on your bed with my threesome, so you’re—oh, yeah. You’re going to fuck them on my bed? While I watch?”
“What?”
“Ew.” Rose’s face scrunched up.
“Could be fun,” Esmerelda said, but then a look of confusion crept across her face as she glanced back. “Who said that?”
Frank couldn’t help but smile, but shook his head. “No, T. That’s not what’s going on.”
Apparently, instead of walking off at the sight of his roommate fucking two girls on his bed, in this world Frank had made a big deal of it, even bothered to fight the guy.
So, there was another version of himself out there, somewhere. Or had been, and he’d replaced him. All of this time travel stuff was going to get real confusing, Frank could already tell.
Trent looked slightly let down. “What, then?”
“I just wanted someone to talk to.” Frank scowled, shaking his head. “No, that’s not what I mean. We have questions and think you might have answers.”
“Yeah?”
“Can you, I mean—put on some clothes first.”
Frank motioned for the ladies to turn around, and they did, although Rose was smirking at him, apparently amused by the whole interaction.
“Who would’ve known one of my grandchildren would be such a prude about nudity.” She winked at Keisha. “Is he like this all the time?”
“I don’t know if you really want an answer,” Keisha replied. “But no.”
Frank turned to see that Trent had pulled on some boxers and was now finding pants while eyeing him suspiciously. Trent finally got the pants on, worked the zipper, and paused. “What sort of questions?”
“It’s okay,” Frank told the ladies, then turned back to Trent. “We’re looking for someone, a man named Rick Draper.”
The look on Trent’s face was an instant giveaway. The name meant something here, something big.
“I’m not sure I get the joke,” Trent said, grabbing a T-shirt and throwing it on. “But… Nah, I don’t even know what to say to that.”
“He’s in some position of power, then?”
Trent nodded, uncertainly. “You hit your head?”
“Just tell us.” Rose stepped forward. “Where is he? D.C.?”
“Actually—” A thud interrupted him, followed by the door slamming shut and metal falling over the windows. “Holy shit, it’s… it’s you.”
“Me?” Frank asked. “Yeah, it has been this whole time.”
Trent licked his lips, eyes darting over to the ladies, a look of understanding flitting across his face. “Now I get it. Yeah, okay. You’re the ones they warned me about. A group that would have a guy who looked exactly like Frank. Shit. And the friends, exactly like the sketches.”
“This isn’t good,” Rose said, already at one of the windows, trying to move the metal shutters while Esmerelda worked the door.
“Dammit, Frank.” Keisha took out her pistol, aiming it at the lock on the door. “You led us into a fucking trap?”
She pulled the trigger, but the shot dinged off of the door, ricocheting around the room and lodging in Trent’s foot. He dropped, screaming as blood colored the sheet now on the floor.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He fell back, staring at the hole in his foot in shock.
Frank grabbed the blanket from his bed and tossed it to him. “Apply pressure. We’re finding a way out of here.”
His first thought was to take a sword and use it to try and pry open one of the windows or the door, when he remembered that his dorm back home had shared a bathroom with another room behind them. Good timing, too, because gas was starting to seep in.
“Shit, they knew we’d try to come back here,” Keisha said, watching the gas with confusion. “But… what’s this?”
“Bad news,” Frank replied, motioning for them to cover their mouths and follow him. He darted into the bathroom and found a wall where the door had been, but had a feeling this wasn’t the full story. Kicking hard, part of the wall caved in.
“They’re in here, they’re getting away!” Trent was shouting from the main room, but then stopped abruptly, the silence being followed by a thump as he hit the floor.
“The gas put him to sleep,” Frank said, working the wall with more kicks, trying to find a way through. He uncovered several boards and plaster, and smiled wide. “They put this in, thinking it would be an easy separation from the rooms. The rest was a trap, but this was put in before that, I imagine.”
“Here,” Esmerelda said, using her cutlass to pry a board off. Soon, they had enough room to break through. Frank was starting to feel woozy when Keisha lifted her pistol—one of the more advanced ones they’d crafted—and fired.
This time, the shot broke through, and she was able to reach into the gap between the boards, opening a door that led into the next room over. “Quickly.”
Soon they had the rest of the wall off and practically fell into the adjoining room. But then, to their surprise, the far door opened, a man in special ops gear eyeing them with determination as he lifted his rifle.
BAM! A shot took him out, this one from Esmerelda.
“We need to get out of here,” Frank said, taking his pistol and aiming with the reticle. A good shot and the next man to enter fell, hopefully adding some good XP toward Frank’s next level-up.
This might not have been his world, but he knew this dorm. He took the lead, guiding them to the right, trying to put as much distance between his old room and themselves as possible. Shouting sounded behind them, but it was growing distant as they kept on going.
His first thought was the stairs, but when they reached them the sound of people charging up was warning enough. Next, he tried a side room, then had a thought—the snack room. They made it and found an open window with trees outside. Trees with branches thick enough to support them as they leaped and climbed down.
Frank insisted the ladies should all go first, but no sooner had they exited when someone spotted them and shouted.
“Get out of sight
,” he hissed, then ducked back to find another route.
Shit. He realized that splitting up was stupid, especially considering they didn’t know their way around. Instead of going where he’d been thinking, he turned back to the common room, ran in, and made for the window there. The enemy should’ve tried to put metal shutters on all the windows, but apparently that would’ve been too big a hassle.
The ground was clear here, but he had no way down. All he could do was climb out, hold himself, and let go. It was only one floor down, not a horrible drop, but enough to make him cringe, his ankle stinging.
And there was a man in black moving his way. Frank darted back, turned toward the next building over—the gymnasium—and did his best to sprint toward it. A shot sounded, but when he looked back he saw that the man was dodging, pulling back to the cover of the cars in the nearby parking lot. One of his ladies must be doing the shooting.
Frank grinned, glanced around, and then used his awareness to see two more of those special ops dicks coming. A second later they were within sight, but they didn’t seem to have spotted him yet. Before they had a chance, he ducked into the gymnasium, found his way to the area behind the nearby bleachers, and pressed himself against the wall in the shadows.
His heartbeat was thudding across his skull and through his legs, his hand twitching at his side where his sword hung ready. If he needed to fight, he would. The best option, he figured, was to work his way back to where the ladies would be if they hadn’t moved yet, then join them to either fight their way out of there or escape a back way.
“What… what’re you doing here?” a voice said, and Frank turned to see Presly hiding under the bleachers close by.
She stepped over, reaching out for him and even leaned in for a kiss.
Frank pulled back. “What’s happening?”
“Fuck, Frank. I’m as scared as you are, here. What is this, terrorists?”
“What?” He glanced down, realizing she was holding his hands.
This was the girl he’d had a major crush on. In this world was he with her? A couple? He gulped, processing this, but then turned and started to pull his hands away. But he paused, realizing he could maybe use this to his advantage. Seeing her there like that, he knew right away that all of that old crush business was gone. He had his ladies now. There was no need for this girl in that sense, but she might have some idea of where he could find Rick.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
“This attack.” He shook his head, really playing the part. “It has me on edge. You think Rick Draper’s behind it?”
“What?” She frowned. “Of course, he isn’t.”
“Oh… right. Why?”
She shook her head, eyeing him like he might be sick. “Why the hell would Washington’s top businessman be attacking the University of Washington? No, this is terrorists, plain and simple. Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. And his business?”
“What’s going on with you?”
“Presly, I just… really need to know.” Frank pulled her close, hands on her hips. “Trust me.”
“You know this. Everyone does.”
“Humor me.”
She took a deep sigh. “The Draper Complex, right next to the Space Needle. But… Frank, you’re worrying me.”
Frank nodded, so amazed that he could easily kiss this girl as he’d imagined so many times before, but this time didn’t want to. All he wanted to do was get back to his ladies and get on with the mission.
“Thank you, Presly,” he said, kissed her on the cheek and then released her hands as he took off. She called after him but this wasn’t his world, and when it was all fixed, somehow, she’d be okay. He was sure of it.
Forgetting why he’d run inside to hide in the first place, he darted back outside. And there, right in front of him, was the special operations jackass who’d been hunting him down. Only, the guy hadn’t turned his way yet. He was aiming at someone else—Keisha! Frank saw that and lunged, drawing his pistol with one hand and cutlass with the other, shooting and then slashing. The result was a bullet to the man’s arm, missing the headshot Frank had hoped for, even with the reticle. But the man missed his shot completely, alerting Keisha, and as he turned, Frank’s blade landed in the man’s neck. It was sick—blood spurting, the man stumbling, confused. Keisha was there a moment later, finishing him off and taking the rifle.
She turned to him and said, “Duck!”
Frank knew enough by that point to listen. As he spun and lowered himself, he watched her shot hit a special ops woman square between the eyes. She dropped, instantly dead. Another thud, and they turned to see Esmerelda on a rooftop, dropping a body which fell out of view. She saw them, waved, and then used a tree to climb down to them. Rose had been with her, apparently, because she followed a moment later.
“Did you get anything from that?” Rose asked, eyeing Frank skeptically. “Aside from, of course, the chance to show off your new girlfriends?”
Esmerelda chuckled, clearly not offended in the slightest.
“I know where Rick the Dick is,” Frank replied. He made for the door, ready to go find this fucker and get this over with.
5
Arriving at the Seattle Center by monorail had always been a fun experience for Frank, bringing him back to his childhood. He distinctly remembered a time with his parents, exiting the building to find a light snow starting to fall. It had been chilly as fuck, but his mom had—in spite of his dad being in a rush and saying no—insisted on grabbing one of those soft ginger cookies and a cup of warm spiced cider from the bakery at the end of the first block. They passed two Starbucks on opposite corners on the way, but his mother had the perfect place in mind. And it had been.
When Frank stopped at that same spot to find it was a store selling swords and guns, his first thought was that it looked badass. His second reaction was anger. Somehow changing time had fucked with the place that had the best damn ginger cookies ever made.
“This needs to be fixed,” he said, pushing on, faster now.
It couldn’t get much worse than that, he figured. But when the explosions sounded down the street, he shuddered.
“They even have fighting in the streets,” Rose said. “Probably pirate duels, or battles for the fun of it.”
Cheering followed, leaving us all confused. We headed that way. First we saw the crowd, then the massive balloons of Vikings and pirates, followed by the floats and the people walking in the middle of the street, shooting at the sky.
“A parade.” Frank chuckled but noticed the confused look from Keisha and Esmerelda. “Basically, some sort of celebration. That’s all.”
Seeing it all brought back memories of parades as a child, often going with his grandpa when his parents had been too busy. He vividly remembered the music, the way the pirates would come by and toss out candy and their shouts of “Arrr.” One memory stuck out of him clutching his grandpa’s coat and covering his eyes when he’d been scared, but the large man had gently coaxed him out of it. That day, Frank’s grandpa had told him he was there for him, that he’d protect him from the scary pirates.
Frank laughed about it now, glancing at his grandma and thinking how ironic it was that now it was her there with him at a pirate parade. Ironic and sad, he realized with a sigh, wishing his grandpa could’ve been there as well.
As the first wave of the parade turned into a line of men and women carrying parrots, Frank figured it was time to move on. He was starting to turn away when he froze, eyes on a magazine stand. There on the cover of one of the publications was none other than Rick the Dick. Although, the magazine referred to him as “Rick Draper: The Man with a Plan.” Frank picked it up, quickly skimming to find the article he wanted.
Apparently, in this world Rick was a businessman who’d started a high-tech company capable of creating all manner of prosthetics, helping millions. The man was said, in this article, to have been the mastermind behind the technology that made it all poss
ible. It even said he was working on the next big thing, although it didn’t mention what that was.
Frank lowered the magazine, looking at the building next to the Space Needle, slightly behind it with a tall roof that arched almost like a sail on a ship. It was the same as the magazine. The headquarters of Rick’s business.
“He’s right there,” Frank shouted to be heard over the cheers of the crowd as the parade continued.
“What?” Esmerelda was the closest at this point, the other two having moved forward to get a better view of the show. Frank frowned, stepping over to see that they were watching a display by a group that looked like old Vikings, bashing their round shields while a couple in the middle put on a fake fight.
Except, then blood splattered and the crowd cheered. It could’ve been fake blood. A show. But when one of the men staggered away, collapsing and not getting back up, that possibility didn’t seem so likely. Fuck. First no gingerbread, and now this?
“Come on,” Frank said, nudging Esmerelda and taking Keisha’s arm in his. “Now’s the time to move, while everyone’s distracted.
“But we don’t know where—” Esmerelda started, stopping when he pointed. “There? How?”
Frank held up the magazine, then realized he hadn’t paid for it. He glanced back to see the guy at the magazine stand coming for them, a sword raised.
“Shit, run!”
“Just give it back,” Rose said as they turned the first corner.
“Too late, plus, this is good intel here.” He showed her the image of Rick, then pulled them into a shopping center, the group moving back toward one of the clothing stores. To him it was nothing out of the ordinary, but Keisha’s head was turning in every direction in awe. Even Rose looked amazed.
“What is this place?” Esmerelda asked.
“Costumes, kinda,” Frank said. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”
He figured a change of clothes couldn’t hurt, especially if they wanted to be inconspicuous. And meanwhile, they could hide out here and figure out a plan. When the coast was clear, they started looking for clothing options.