Sovereignty

by Ryan Michler

  Consider the professional baseball player. He’s at the pinnacle of his career. It’s likely he’s been playing baseball for two to three decades or longer. He probably learned to swing a bat when he was two. In other words, he’s the best. He’s a master at his craft. He knows the mechanics. He knows the physics. He has the technique of swinging the bat dedicated and locked into muscle memory. And yet, this is the man who still swings off the same rudimentary tool my four-year-old uses to learn the game—the tee.

  The professional athlete who still uses a tee and still takes batting practice every single day (although obviously he knows how to hit a baseball) is the man who understands what it takes to succeed at the highest level: discipline.

  See, it’s easy to look in from the outside at the man who seems to posses some special gift or a certain secret we have yet to find for ourselves, and think, “Isn’t he lucky? I wish I was as lucky as he is,” or “Wouldn’t it be nice to be an overnight success like him?”

  We all want to hit it big. We all want things to go our way. We all want the quick hit, the quick fix, and the home run. Look, I get it, the home run is sexy. The singles and doubles required to win consistently are not. When we, however, subscribe to the notion that a man just got lucky or just happened to be in the right place at the right time, we discount the virtue of discipline. Do successful people get lucky? Sure. But that’s the exception, not the rule.

  You’re going to get lucky one day. You’re going to hit the lotto. The attractive woman you’ve had your eye on is going to talk with you. Someone is going to quit and you’re, by default, the one who will land the promotion. A big client will call you unexpectedly and out of the blue. It’s going to happen. And while it’s nice when it does, don’t get used to it. Every man gets lucky and wins big from time to time. The Sovereign Man knows how to win big consistently through the practice of discipline.

  UNREALISTIC EXPECTIONS

  There’s a hurdle to developing and maintaining discipline. And this hurdle is what keeps most men from achieving all they desire in their relationships, their businesses, their health, and their life. The hurdle is an unreasonable expectation of what it will take to win. Most of us, for whatever reason, seem to overestimate our abilities and underestimate the amount of work it will take to win on any front.

  Because we set false expectations, we quit way too soon. We bounce around from idea to idea, job to job, workout program to workout program, then have the audacity to ask why we can’t seem to get ahead.

  You can’t get ahead because you restart every six months! Is it really that hard to figure out? You aren’t entitled to results regardless of how much you think you deserve them. You deserve the results of your consistent effort (discipline), no more, no less.

  When I launched my first podcast in the winter of 2014, I got so down on myself because I wasn’t seeing the results I had hoped for. I quit after twenty episodes. Twenty episodes! That’s not even getting started.

  I regrouped and talked with successful podcasters about what it would take to run a large podcast. All of them agreed that it required a minimum of one year of consistent effort.

  When I launched Order of Man in the spring of 2015, I committed to doing a podcast every week for at least two years. Two and a half years later, I have not missed a single week for over 140 weeks. Guess what? I run a very large podcast that consistently ranks in the top fifty in all the world in multiple categories. This isn’t a surprise. It’s the result of calculated, ruthless discipline.

  When you stop focusing so much on what you want and, instead, focus on what it will take to have it, you put yourself in the right mindset to reach your objectives. In essence, you have to find a way to strip away the expectation of results and have faith that the actions, over time, will get you there.

  Once you understand that you’ll need to engage in consistent action to reach a desired outcome, you’ll need to start identifying hurdles that will come up. And they will. I can’t think of one journey I’ve ever embarked on that went exactly according to plan.

  Just this week, I finished a hunt in Texas. The night before the hunt was over, I thought, “Man, this went pretty well. I bagged two bucks. So did my friend. No one got themselves shot. And we had some great times.” That night, we got food poisoning.

  It’s part of the deal. Things are going to go wrong. Understand that, build in some contingency plans, and decide right now to drive on anyway.

  As Seneca says, “The man who has anticipated the coming of troubles takes away their power when they arrive.”

  DO IT ANYWAY

  Not only are you going to run into unknowable outside hurdles and barriers on your journey to become more disciplined, but you’re going to, at times, get in your own way. You’re going to let the way you feel dictate the way you behave.

  I understand. When the alarm goes off at five every morning, I don’t always feel like going to the gym. When I get into the office in the morning, I don’t always feel like making follow-up calls and e-mails. When I sit down in front of my computer, I don’t always feel like writing the words to the book.

  But the way I feel about doing something I’ve already committed to doing has no relevance to my actually doing it. I am in charge of my emotions, not the other way around. And so are you.

  As I illustrated in the previous chapter, your emotions are simply indicators. You can allow them to steer your life or you can take them into consideration and make a conscious choice of what to do next.

  Sure, you can make plans and create contingencies. You can set realistic expectations and remove potential barriers to your getting the job done. But even with all that planning, there are going to be events and circumstances that have the potential to derail you, including those nagging little voices that say, “Sleep in just a little longer. You can make those calls later. You’ll have plenty of time to write tomorrow.”

  Do not listen to those voices. Bear down and drive on. Demonstrate a little willpower. Those voices shut up when you tell them to and commit yourself to the cause. As with any skill, willpower can be developed. Not by reading a book about willpower. Not by talking to people about how to be stronger. Not by coming up with a bunch of tricks and hacks to make things easier. You build willpower by exhibiting willpower. Plain and simple. The more you do it, the stronger you become.

  I could write a whole book on how to build discipline, but the truth is, the topic doesn’t warrant an entire book. Developing discipline is as simple as doing the things you’ve committed to regardless of whether you want to.

  THE MINDSET—I AM RELENTLESS IN THE PURSUIT OF MY OBJECTIVES

  No man ever achieved anything great without a relentless pursuit toward greatness. It’s not always easy. It doesn’t always go smoothly. The battle for your sovereignty gets ugly at times. But unless you can develop the virtue of discipline, you will never be in control of your heart and mind.

  The man who neglects discipline in exchange for a short-term gain or to indulge in his vice of choice subjects himself to the vice itself.

  Only through the relentless pursuit of our objectives do we rip ourselves away from the very comfortable status quo that has secretly enslaved our hearts and minds. It’s all an illusion. What we think is freeing is anything but. The man who is “free” to get himself out of bed later than he knows he should loses valuable time in his day to work toward his goals. The man who is “free” to eat like shit subjects himself to weight gain, illness, and disease. The man who is “free” to screw off at work gets passed over for the promotion time and time again. The man who is “free” to spend his money on anything and everything he feels inclined to purchase gives himself to debt and poverty.

  There is only one true way to freedom: discipline.

  Aristotle understood this thousands of years ago when he said, “Through discipline comes freedom.”

  Jocko Willink, arguably one of the most disciplined and successful warriors of our time, understands this when he s
ays, “Discipline equals freedom.”

  If you want the freedom to get maximum results out of your day, you’re going to have to subject yourself to getting up early. If you want the freedom that comes with a long and relatively illness-free life, you have to subject yourself to the discipline of diet and exercise. If you want the freedom that comes with career advancement, you’re going to have to subject yourself to the grinding work it takes to achieve it. If you want the freedom that comes with building enormous sums of money, you’re going to have to subject yourself to tracking income and expenses and investing wisely.

  In other words, choose your free. Will you choose to be free to do what you feel like doing at the risk of the bondage that comes in the end? Or do you want to subject yourself to the discipline required now to achieve ultimate and lasting freedom?

  If you choose the latter, you must become relentless in the pursuit of your objectives.

  THE SKILL SET

  Break It Down. The word “discipline” conjures up thoughts of difficulty. Many of us have come to the conclusion that for something to count, it has to be difficult. Just because exercising discipline will be tough from time to time does not mean that is has to be.

  If you can find ways to simplify and make the process easier and/or more obtainable, you’ll have a huge advantage over those who feel like they have to grind their way through it.

  Take the process of writing this book, for example. It would be easy to focus on the completion of my book, but it’s a daunting idea (especially when you’re just getting started). Instead of focusing on completing my book, I’ve decided to break down the process of writing a book into the daily action of writing one thousand words per day.

  One thousand words written per day is not a lot of words to write and usually takes me an hour or so. Considering my schedule, this isn’t all that challenging, but, again, who said it had to be?

  Compounded over two months, the book is completely written, and I can move on to my next objective. Breaking down a big goal into smaller, more manageable actions has helped me maintain the course, especially when I didn’t feel like it. And that is the definition of discipline.

  Plant Your Flag. One of the biggest hurdles to becoming more disciplined is moving away from the “short game” and into the “long game.” This is also the mark of a mature man. Most guys are after immediate results. As I mentioned earlier, they want the home run. They want the unexpected opportunity for the promotion. The want the beach body for the cruise coming up in two months. They want to stumble upon the girl of their dreams. They want a quick buy-out for the app they just developed. While these things all happen from time to time, you’d be better off not banking on the quick hit.

  Instead, and to develop more discipline and the sovereignty that comes with it, you’d be better off planting your flag for the way you’re going to live your life, not just the next two or three months.

  When you set realistic expectations about what and how long it will take to succeed, you free yourself from having to swing for the fences to get on the scoreboard.

  If you take the “plant your flag” approach, you can do what you know you need to do regardless of how you feel about it and regardless of what outside factors may be stacked against you. In a way, you’re letting those chips fall where they may because you’re not focusing on the immediate results as much as the actions that ultimately produce the results.

  In addition, when you play the long game by executing every single day, you put yourself in the perfect position to capture the opportunities that will inevitably present themselves. I can’t help but wonder how many amazing opportunities men have missed simply because they haven’t been ready to receive them.

  What most men recognize as luck, the Sovereign Man recognizes as a long-term commitment to a disciplined life.

  CHAPTER 18

  MASTERY

  “The power of a man increases steadily by continuance in one direction. He becomes acquainted with the resistances, and with his own tools; increases his skill and strength and learns the favorable moments and favorable accidents.”

  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

  When I was playing baseball in high school, one of my coaches, Matt Labrum, would constantly remind us, “You’re only as good as your last at bat.” We were a pretty good team. We took regionals my junior year and placed fourth in state, and, in my senior year, we took second in regionals. Unfortunately, we let this go to our heads at times and forgot that, although we were good, we had plenty more to learn.

  I’ve seen it time and time again in myself and in countless men. We finally reach some objective we’ve been working hard at tackling. Once we hit it, we coast, we take it easy, we rest on our laurels. It seems to me that there are a lot of men who are comfortable with mediocrity. While I can understand that some men are more ambitious than others (or have differing priorities), there is always something to be mastered.

  I can hear the naysayers now: “Ryan, you don’t have to be the best at everything. Sometimes it’s a hobby. Sometimes it’s just for enjoyment.” Look, I get it. Not everything has to be a competition to be the best. I enjoy playing catch with my children. I don’t for one second believe I’m ever going to be a professional baseball player at the highest level, but you can be damn sure I will strive to be the best at playing catch with my kids.

  Mastery isn’t about competition with others; it’s about competition with yourself. Are you a better man today than you were yesterday? If not, you’re not only stagnant, you’re falling behind. There is no maintenance plan here. You’re either expanding or contracting.

  When a man decides to take his foot off the gas, the natural friction of life causes him to slow before he comes to a halt altogether. I hear from men every day who have lost their ambition, purpose, focus, clarity, and drive. What makes it worse is they don’t even know why. It’s hard to get something back if you don’t know what you’re missing.

  I’d submit that, if you’re experiencing these types of feelings in your own life, you’ve neglected the notion of mastery. You’ve stopped trying. Maybe you think your work is unfulfilling. Maybe you feel as if you’re being stymied by others. Maybe you feel you’ve reached the highest pinnacle you can reach. For whatever reason, you’ve stopped trying. You’ve stopped working to become a master.

  But isn’t becoming a master a huge part of what being a man is all about? After all, if you can’t produce the desired and needed results in your life and the lives of those you care about, what good is it having you around? Now, some may hear that and think it’s too harsh and that some men can’t handle that. I call bullshit. If you are feeling stuck, you don’t need to be coddled. You need to be jerked back into the reality that your “best” may not be good enough. But it’s okay. Once you realize that, you can get better. You can become a master.

  THERE IS NO ARRIVAL

  Here’s the first realization you need to understand: there is no arrival. There is no final destination. No glorious state of being where the clouds part and the angels sing, “Hallelujah, you’ve made it.” I know that may not sound very empowering, considering that most men work better when they know what they’re working toward.

  But let’s break this down a little bit and make a distinction. There are going to be projects, jobs, encounters, relationships, and experiences that are going to end. In fact, most of what we deal with on a daily basis is, by design, supposed to end.

  What I’m referring to when I say there is no arrival is that you, as a man, will never reach your full potential. What does “full potential” even mean? I know we like to talk about it, but I sincerely believe it is impossible. Your potential as a man is a moving target. Once you think you’re there, you can plainly see you’re capable of so much more.

  At first glance that may be a very frustrating idea. If you’ll never reach your full potential, what’s the point of even trying? But if you think about this on a deeper level, you’ll see, if you know there is no state of
being where you become your best, you give yourself permission to enjoy the ride you’re currently on.

  When we spend our entire lives adhering to the notion that there is some final destination for ourselves or, worse, we compare ourselves to where other people are, we become consumed with chasing something that does not exist. If you’re chasing something that isn’t real, all you end up doing is spinning in circles and not getting anywhere.

  Even the thought of mastery can be an elusive target. Does complete mastery even exist? With the advancement in technology and medicine, things that were once impossible are entirely possible today, and even more so in the future. I don’t, however, consider mastery an objective. I consider mastery a path—a journey to see how good we can actually become. And isn’t that more exciting anyway?

  Whether you’re sweeping floors and cleaning toilets as a janitor or running a Fortune 500 company, understanding that there is no arrival should fill you with optimism, as there is no limit on what you can ultimately achieve.

  ACT LIKE YOU’VE DONE IT BEFORE; ACT LIKE YOU’LL DO IT AGAIN

  The same coach I referenced earlier, Matt Labrum, would tell us after celebrating a big win, “Act like you’ve done it before; act like you’ll do it again.”

  It’s great to celebrate your victories. You’ve earned them. But if you ever begin to believe you’ve reached as high as you’re going to reach, you strip away the power you have to take it to the next level.

  We often get so consumed with celebration that we forget, as I stated earlier, there is no final destination. A momentary win is just a stop on your journey to do and be more. Sure, you landed the big sale, but can you do it again?

  Sure, you got the girl, but can you keep her?