by Karen Clow
Ten minutes later he was pulling up outside a florist, intending to give her flowers when he met her at the church. Placing the huge bouquet in the boot of his car he drove to the church. Father Michael was pleased to see him. Tony asked where Isabella was. Looking baffled the priest replied, “I don’t know Tony why, did you think she was here?” “Yes, I spoke to her and she said she was on her way.” “Ah I expect she’s held up in traffic, there’s road works everywhere!” Nodding Tony smiled and said, “If you don’t mind I’ll wait in the car Father because I need to make a couple of calls.” “I understand, perhaps when Isabella gets here you can both come in?” Tony never replied he just smiled and nodded his head. Fifteen minutes after he arrived, he spotted Belle pulling in.
Taking the flowers from the boot he walked towards her. The look on her face told him that she was surprised to see him there. “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming,” said Tony. “What are you doing here?” “You know why I’m here Belle; I was worried about you. I didn’t know where you’d gone, or what was going on with us.” Sarcastically she replied, “Well, now you know I’m here you can go home.” Passing her the flowers he said, “I’ve bought you these babe, I really am sorry Belle, please don’t be like this, lets go home babe.” “I don’t want your flowers Tony, give them to Father Michael for the church, I’m sure he’d like them.” Trying hard to keep his temper he repeated, “I brought them for you, I know it’s a long way from us making up, but I want you to have them.” Turning to walk away from him she said, “I don’t want them.” Standing there holding the flowers he could feel his temper rising. He was just about to shout something to her when Father Michael appeared in the church doorway. Tony walked towards them as the priest embraced Belle.
As Tony approached she said to the priest, “Tony’s brought you some flowers for the church Michael.” The priest instinctively knew they were for her but he graciously said, “How kind of you Tony, I’m sure they’ll brighten the place up.” Tony handed him the bouquet before throwing Belle a look that told her he was not amused.
For almost an hour he sat talking with her and the priest before saying, “Belle we should think about getting back now.” She knew it was his way of telling her he’d had enough. With an air of defiance she replied, “You go Tony, I want Father Michael to give me confession, I’ll probably see you later.” Angry that she had put him in a very awkward position he smirked and said, “It’s ok I’ll wait.” Belle walked over to the confessional with the priest.
Twenty minutes later she came out crying and surprised to see Tony still there. Thanking the priest they left the church. Outside she said, “Tony go home, I’ll see you later.” By that point he was very pissed off, which was obvious to her when he said, “You’ll see me now Belle, we’re going home!” “I’m not coming back until the kids come home.” “Why not, we can go home now.” Turning to walk away she said, “I’ll see you later.” Seething he grabbed her arm and snapped saying, “We’re going home now Belle!” Nervous of him, she didn’t want a scene in public, especially outside the church. Keeping her voice deliberately low she said, “Let me go Tony this is why I don’t want to come home with you.” Suddenly realising that she was afraid of him, he released her arm and said, “Babe, I won’t hurt you, please come home.” Deciding it would be best if she just agreed rather than have an altercation in public, she simply nodded her head.
He arrived home just ahead of her. Standing inside the front door he waited for her to get out of her car. Feeling her stomach rolling, she walked towards him then followed him into the house. Going straight to the kitchen she put the kettle on. “Come and sit down babe,” he said. Sitting down opposite him she said, “I need to get on with the dinner Tony.” “We’ll eat out tonight babe.” The last thing she wanted was another row, but even less she didn’t want to have dinner out with him. Sounding sad she replied, “You and the kids can go, but I’d rather not thanks.” “Belle let’s stop acting like fucking kids. I know you’re pissed off with me and I know I was wrong to say what I did. I shouldn’t have hit you babe, but I’ve said I’m sorry now can we just forget it happened.” Taking a deep breath she knew she had to say something, so looking straight at him she replied, “No we can’t forget it Tony! I thought things were going to be ok between us, but I was obviously kidding myself. Let’s face it our marriage is finished so let’s just stop trying to be civil to one another!” “Belle look at me, it’s not finished and I don’t want to hear you say that again or.” He stopped as he watched the tears roll down her face. There was something different about her, the way she was looking at him when she said, “Or what Tony, you’ll lose your temper and hit me again? Or maybe you’ll start accusing me of sleeping with other men, which is it Tony?” “Let’s just forget last night ever happened babe.” “I’ll never forget it Tony, that’s why I went to see a solicitor this morning I’m divorcing you on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour.” Shocked and angry he stood up and banged his fist down on the table as he shouted, “I hope you’re fucking joking!” Despite the fear she felt she couldn’t back down. Snapping back at him she said, “Do you think I would fucking joke about something like that?” “Watch you’re fucking mouth Belle, you know I don’t like you cursing!” “There’s a lot of things you don’t like me doing Tony. I don’t want to be with you another minute, I want you to book into a hotel!” Suddenly he grabbed her by the throat and shouted, “A fucking hotel, this is my fucking house and we’re going to live here like we always have, do you understand?” Struggling to breath she pulled at his wrists to free herself.
Finally she felt him loosen his grip. Coughing as he let her go, she ran to the other side of the kitchen. Picking out a knife from the block, she threw it at his feet and screamed, “Go on Tony kill me, then you’ll be free of me! What have I ever done to make you act like this, I’m beginning to hate you Tony. If you don’t kill me, you’ll have to divorce me because I’m not going to allow you to treat me like this or change my mind. I don’t know you anymore and I won’t allow you to act like this in front of our children! So please kill me Tony, I’ve got nothing left to lose. If you don’t go to a hotel I will, I cannot, and will not stay in this house another minute with you! I would like you for once to be honest with me though and tell me why you hate me so much?” Standing there staring at her he said, “What are you talking about, I love you, I don’t hate you. I don’t want you going anywhere.” “Why not Tony, I must make you so unhappy. God forgive me for saying this, but I wish you had left me for Lydia. I honestly thought you really were sorry, especially when you started taking me out and really trying to make me feel wanted. Then last night you did this!” She pointed to the bruises on her face, “Please Tony if you ever loved me, then just leave me alone. I don’t want you to hurt me anymore!”
Suddenly overwhelmed by guilt he walked towards her, instantly she backed away. Undeterred he went right up to her and hugged her, but she wasn’t responsive. Kissing her neck and face he said, “Babe, I give you my word it won’t ever happen again. I love you babe!” She just stood there, as he started to grope her. Then as he ran his hand up her dress she pushed him away and screamed at him, “Stop it Tony, its not going to happen!” Still screaming at the top of her voice she said, “It’s over Tony, I want you to leave; nothing you say or do is going to change the way I feel! Please just go away and leave me alone. Call Lydia I’m sure she’d enjoy you mauling all over her! God, how did I ever love you, you’re pathetic!” The look on his face as he glared at her instantly told her she’d gone too far. Raising his fist he punched her in the face as he shouted, “Don’t ever call me pathetic you fucking bitch, and you’re right Lydia couldn’t get enough of me!” Unable to control his temper, he hailed a fierce volley of punches down on her. With Belle lying on the floor terrified and losing consciousness, he shouted at her to get up. He hadn’t heard the kids come in until Vito jumped on his back in an effort to protect his mum. Sophia was screaming and crying hysterically
. Anthony was just standing there, too traumatised to move. It was as Tony began to attack Vito that Sophia ran at him screaming and punching him, shouting at him to stop. Suddenly he stopped and looked at what he’d done; kneeling down on the floor next to Belle he broke down and begged her to forgive him.
Vito got up from the floor and pulled at his father’s arm and shouted, “Get away, leave her alone!” It was as the other two kids joined their brother that Tony finally stood up and walked off into the lounge. Vito was crying as he tried to pick his mum up off the floor, “Help me Anthony,” he said. The two of them managed to get her to a chair, but all she kept saying was how sorry she was.
Sophia ran a tea towel under the cold tap and started dabbing her mum’s face with it. Blood was pouring from her lip and under her eye. “Should we call an ambulance mum,” asked Vito. Shaking violently and struggling to breath she replied, “No, please take me up to my room.” The three of them helped her up the stairs.
Laying her on the bed Vito sat next to her and said, “Shall I call Carlo mum?” Instantly she replied, “No, there’s nothing he can do, where’s your father?” Downstairs.” “Just leave him alone; he’ll probably go out in a while.”
The two younger children lay down with her on the bed, Sophia was crying. “Don’t cry baby,” said Belle. “Why did dad do this mum?” Vito cut in and said, “Because he’s a pig!” For the first time his sister didn’t defend her father. The four of them stayed in the bedroom until they heard Tony leave the house two hours later. Isabella slowly tried to move off the bed but it was painful. “Mum now he’s gone, let me call someone, please!” “It’s ok Vito; we’re leaving, call us a cab.” “Where are we going mum?” he asked. “I don’t know probably to a hotel, anywhere but here.” Vito called a cab company.
Tony had driven to his club; because it was late afternoon only a couple of staff was there as he entered. Going straight to his office he poured a large scotch, then taking out his phone he rang the house, but there was no reply. His thoughts being they knew it was him so they weren’t answering the phone. Feeling an overwhelming desire to talk to Lydia he dialled her number. Unsure what reaction he would get from her, he was relieved when she said, “Hi Tony I didn’t expect to hear from you again, how are you?” “Sorry about what happened between us babe, I’ve thought about you a lot, I miss you.” “I think about you too, so why did you call?” “Can I see you babe?” Lydia didn’t answer immediately, several seconds passed before she replied, “Why Tony, you made it quite clear it was over and I accepted that, now I just want to have the baby and get on with my life.” “I know babe, but I keep thinking about you and the baby, please can I see you tonight?” “Ok Tony, but I don’t want you causing me any trouble and you’re not staying over.” “Thanks babe, I’ll see you in an hour.”
Back at the house Isabella was writing Tony a note. The last thing she wanted was him turning up at a hotel and causing a scene. She simply wrote, ‘we’re staying at a hotel tonight, we’ll be back tomorrow when hopefully you’ve calmed down,’ Belle.
The intercom buzzed. Anthony answered it and said, “It’s the cab mum, he’s driving up.” They took a few personal items with them and left the house.
While they made their way to a hotel Tony was pulling up at Lydia’s. Spotting him from her window, she went to open the front door.
She could see by his face that something was wrong. “Come in Tony,” she said as she walked off through the hall. The moment he’d seen her he asked himself what he was doing there.
Sitting in the lounge opposite her, he questioned why he needed to see her. Subconsciously he kept hearing Belle’s words in his head that he was pathetic. Ironically he didn’t really feel any sexual desire towards Lydia. “So what made you want to see me then Tony, after all I know you’re not interested in me or your baby?” In a rare burst of honesty he replied, “I’m not sure why I’m here, my life is falling apart.” As she looked at him she felt something for him, for the first time since meeting him he looked vulnerable. Thinking that maybe she was wrong to have so readily slept with him, especially as she knew he was married. Smiling she said, “Would you like a drink Tony, then if you want to talk, we can.” “Scotch if you’ve got it.” She nodded.
They talked about Isabella and the way he’d been treating her. By some strange twist of fate Lydia wanted to help him sort his marriage out. Perhaps it was the guilt she was now feeling over his wife, who hadn’t asked or deserved any of this to happen. Maybe in the back of her mind she was secretly hoping that if she encouraged him to try and work at his marriage and it didn’t happen, he might want to make a new life with her. Whatever the reason; she listened as he poured his heart out to her. Finally she moved across the room and sat next to him. Gently squeezing his hand she said, “I’m sure it will work out ok Tony,” then she leaned forward and kissed him. He reciprocated. Needing at that moment to feel wanted, he asked her if they could go to bed. Smiling she nodded her head.
Lying naked together he could see clearly just how pregnant she looked, her tummy was quite rounded. He hadn’t really noticed before because she had been wearing a baggy top. Gently running his hand over her tummy he said, “How’s it going then?” Grinning she replied, “The morning sickness is awful, everyone told me it goes away after the first couple of months, they were wrong!” “Belle had terrible sickness with the three boys, but not with Sophia.” “I don’t know what the sex is; I want it to be a surprise. Cole is going to be with me through the delivery, I just hope he doesn’t pass out.” When Belle had been pregnant Tony couldn’t wait to feel the babies kicking inside her, when they were born he has been at every delivery, yet with Lydia’s baby he felt nothing and was quite happy for Cole to take that role. It was almost as though he was detached from being the father. Moving her hand down the bed she touched him, he was hard. “Don’t be rough with me Tony, this is the first time since I found out I was pregnant.” Kissing her he moved over between her legs and gently penetrated her. Then he stopped, he’d lost his erection. Lydia was sympathetic saying, “Don’t worry about it, after all that’s happened it’s only to be expected.” Arrogantly he replied, “It’s never happened to me before!” “Lets just lay here for a while Tony, it may be alright in a minute.” Taking her hand down to him again she began trying to masturbate him but her efforts were futile. Whatever was going on in his mind was affecting his sex drive.
Unexpectedly he got up and told her he was leaving. “Stay for something to eat Tony, you don’t have to go because of this, we can just sit and talk.” Feeling comfortable in her company he replied, “Ok, but I want to leave by nine.”
Forty minutes later they were eating dinner together. It was a strange atmosphere; the woman who had started the string of events which had led Tony indirectly to beating his wife was now counselling him as how to win her back. “I shouldn’t have come here Lydia, this isn’t right.” “You needed someone to talk to Tony; I’m flattered that it’s me.” “I love my wife Lydia, more than I can tell you. If I didn’t things may have been different. Maybe there would have been a time for us.” “I know that Tony, that’s why you need to try and sort this out with your wife. If you ever at any time in the future want to be with me, it’s got to be for the right reasons. It’s like when married people go back to their partners because of the property or the kids, I would hate that. If that ever happens to me, I want that person there because he wants me, not any other reason. I can’t think of anything worse than waking up next to someone that I love, knowing that he really wants to be with someone else.” “You’re a very wise young lady, but I want to be with Belle because I love her. I always have and I always will.” He noticed that her eyes were brimming with tears, so he said, “Maybe I should go.” “No need Tony, I hope some day someone will feel that way about me, to say I’m not jealous would be a lie, but I admire your honesty. So let me give you some advice, don’t try and threaten your wife into having you back. Give her some space, she won’t realise
how much she misses you until you’re not there, believe me I know.” Then she looked sad and said, “Can I ask you something?” Smiling at her he replied, “Of course babe.” “What does she look like, I know it’s probably not the right thing to ask, but I’m curious.” Reaching into his pocket he took out his wallet and passed her a photo of Belle. Studying it carefully she looked at him and said, “She’s beautiful Tony, I didn’t realise how young she was.” With sadness in his voice he replied, “She’s fifteen years younger than me and yes, she is beautiful. You’re the only woman who I’ve ever talked with about her; I suppose you think I’m a real prick.” “No I don’t, I think you’re a very sad confused man, who loves women but is in love with just one, his wife.” They talked until just after eight then he said he was going.
As they stood at the front door she smiled and said, “Remember what I said Tony, try and give her time. You know where I am if you need me.” Leaning forward he tenderly kissed her, but he didn’t hug her. Then he handed her a wad of money. “What’s that for,” she asked. “Get something for the baby, that’s all the cash I’ve got on me, but let me know what you need and I’ll pay for it, ok.” You don’t have to do that, I’m managing alright.” “I can see that, but I want to do it, so don’t argue ok?” Kissing his cheek she thanked him and said, “I’ll buy a pram with it.”
She smiled and waved out as he pulled away, then sobbed as she closed the door.