Trust Me, Trust Me Not (Gavert City Book 3)

by Elodie Nowodazkij

  Hunter shifts slightly closer to me, but he doesn’t say a word. I want to hold his hand again. I want him to hold my hand. I need support and only wish I didn’t have to ask for it. Because I don’t know how.

  I clear my throat. “Detective Martinez thinks that it might be two people or more who’ve been sending me letters. There are certain differences, but she says she can’t be sure.”

  Detective Barocci stands back up. “I’ll talk to her again. And please, hand her the other ones you’ve received. You never know, a pattern could emerge. Something you didn’t notice.” He nods to the other officer who is still standing by the door. “When it comes to Miss Romano, would you like to press charges?”

  “No,” I reply at the same time as Hunter says, “Yes.”

  “Why not?” He sounds surprised. “She attacked you.”

  “She slapped me. Three times. She was desperate. She thought Noah was dead. When I didn’t know if Luke and Lila were dead or alive, I’d have done more than slapped the Master.”

  “You’re not him though.” Hunter rubs the back of his neck and breathes in deeply as if he’s trying to convince himself not to push. “What if she’s dangerous? What if she goes after you again?”

  “She won’t.” The pain in her eyes was about Noah. It wasn’t about me. She needed to blame someone and it’s much easier to blame me than to blame their parents.

  Noah takes a tentative step toward us. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure. It’s my decision. My choice.” I turn back to Hunter.

  But he doesn’t smile like I expect him too. “Could you have one officer around Lacey?”

  “I don’t want to bring the attention to me even more than I already have.” The paparazzi followed me around at the beginning. I’ve talked to an investigative reporter for an in-depth story about the compound and Abram and what he really is, but that was different. I felt the reporter was helping bring the truth to everyone. Her story is still ongoing. She published two parts already and is working on a third one focusing on the influence Abram exercises from jail. The paparazzi, on the other hand, wanted to feed me to the public. I get it. People love scary movies as long as it doesn’t touch them too close. I’m a walking Public Service Announcement about the dangers lurking in plain sight. But I can’t be more the center of attention than I have been. “An officer would be noticeable. In class? Everywhere?”

  “The threats could be credible. We’re going to be investigating the emails and your notifications but it’s clear someone hacked into your account. It could be Mr. Moore or he could be unrelated to the cult.” His mouth becomes a thin line and he rubs his jaw. “We have a lead on Mr. Moore’s location.”

  My heart slams against my ribs and Hunter leans forward. “You haven’t found him yet?” I want to remind Hunter that this is actually all brand new, and the fact they have this much information already is progress compared to five minutes ago, but Detective Barocci answers before I can say anything.

  “His wife has said she hasn’t seen him in a few days but that’s his pattern. Sometimes he goes off for a few days to clear his mind and then comes back, so we are not assuming anything at this stage.”

  “But it could be him.” If it’s him, it almost feels safer. He’s sad. He’s desperate. But I still don’t think he’d do anything to physically hurt me. He wants to scare me, and derail my life, but I want to believe he doesn’t really want me dead.

  “It could be anybody. We’ll contact you as soon as we have more information. Please take my card. Call me anytime. Call 911 if you’re in any danger.”

  “Can I see my sister?” Noah’s voice is tentative. “Is she okay?”

  “She’s fine. She doesn’t believe you’re still alive. We’re going to get her out and you’ll be able to see her right after.”

  Noah’s hand touches my shoulder. “I’ll be around for a few days and then I’ll see if I can get Eve to come back with me to Maryland.”

  “Is the cult really still active? Is your dad still in it? It was hard to find reliable information online. I mean I know about the other group in Texas.” I stop talking, not sure how much he knows about Cass. He said he knew she was happy. Does he know she called her first son Noah?

  “The one that’s now called Love Above All?”

  “That one.”

  “The one with Cass?” He nudges me. “I told you I found her, I wanted to make sure she was okay. That group seems to be safe. They’re not breaking any laws, and their leader doesn’t seem to be a glutton for power.” He pauses. “The one in Maryland though? It morphed into something different but no less dangerous. My dad got out only recently and only because he’s been sick and worried about Eve, and they thought he was more a liability than anything else. Because of me, I guess.”

  “How about your mom?”

  “We’ve seen each other. She lives in Maine too. She’d never stopped looking for us either. She’s going to be so happy to know Eve is safe.”

  Knowing his family might be reunited fills me with happiness for him. It won’t be easy though. “Eve’s going to need time. And help. Lots of help.”

  “I know. I got help too. One day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time.”

  “Promise me we’ll talk. That you won’t disappear on me.” My hand grabs his wrist and I stare into his eyes.

  “I promise,” he replies. “I want to see you before I go back to Maine. Can I have a piece of paper?”

  “I have one. In my bag.” I shuffle through it, but Hunter hands him one before I do. His movement is brusque and he looks at me as he gives it to him.

  Noah jots down his number. “You call me. I’m supposed to leave in three days. I can’t stay away from work for much longer.”

  “I will.” We hug one more time. He’s much stronger than the last time we hugged.

  “Be careful,” he murmurs into my hair before walking out of the room to see the sister who thought him dead.

  “He’s alive,” I whisper. “I didn’t kill him. He’s really alive.”

  And for a moment, all I feel is relief.

  CHAPTER 11 - HUNTER

  “I’m sorry you missed your class.” Lacey’s fingers toy with her hoodie. And I seem mesmerized by that small gesture. “You didn’t have to come with me.”

  “I wanted to come with you.” I look up and wish I could take away the worries that seem to be piling up on her shoulders. The entrance of the police station buzzes with people and I stay close to her. I open the door and let her go through first but not before glancing outside to make sure it’s safe, realizing as I do that we can never really know if a place is truly safe.

  “Thank you.” She sounds exhausted.

  “You’re welcome.” I nudge her slightly. “And I don’t have to be at the station until seven tonight, so we can even get something to eat at one of the food trucks.” I point to the food trucks near the parking spots on the other side of the road. “And then I’ll drive you back to your dorm. Luke will you meet you there, right?” I force myself to sound calm. And wipe my clammy hands on my jeans.

  When I heard her scream, I panicked. I rushed to her with images of Jane Doe flashing in my mind. Blue lips. Blue skin. Bruises on her neck.

  I stop cold, shaking my head, and Lacey bumps into me. “Sorry,” I mutter.

  She tilts her head and watches me. She watches me the way I used to watch her in the beginning at the hospital, waiting for any signs she might be cracking. Can she see how worried I am? How I constantly wonder how I can protect her? Screw her uncle and our deal, I just want her safe. Someone broke into her email, changed her settings. Someone’s been watching her every move online.

  I glance around and my body tenses. Is that person watching her? Watching us right now?

  “I don’t want to talk about it. Not right now.” She squares her shoulders. “Please.”

  “Okay.”

  We still watch each other. The air crackles between us.

  The sirens of the ambu
lance in the distance break the moment. “Is it hard to not be there all the time when you hear those sirens?”

  It takes me a few seconds to answer. “Yep. When you don’t know why they’re being called for...when you wonder if maybe they need you there.” I rub the back of my neck. “I’m not on call. I have to be at the station to go with the crew. And even if I’m on the schedule, I’m still not a professional. But those men and women? They’re my family too.”

  Her lips turn up. “I’m glad you have them.” Her stomach growls pretty loudly and a blush creeps up her neck. She giggles. “I guess I am really hungry.”

  We walk to the parking lot, checking out the different food trucks. “The station has them on Mondays on the field, and their Kebab one is amazing. Or their BBQ with a twist.” I force my voice to sound upbeat. After all, we’re here right now. Together.

  Our arms brush and her fingers touch mine. She smiles and it’s not one of her smiles that illuminates her entire face. This one is more of an I-can-do-this smile, like she feels the tension rolling off my body.

  “Are you sure you have time?” she asks again.

  “I’m sure. And I need to eat.” I slap my stomach.

  “If you say the Kebab is good, I’d love to try it. Never had one.”

  “You won’t regret it.” We get in line in front of the bright orange truck that boasts “The Best Döner outside of Germany.”

  “You’re frowning,” she tells me.

  “My dad told me he had Kebab in Germany. In Berlin. He loved it.” That came out of nowhere. I usually bury memories of Father so deep they would need a crane to dig them out.

  She doesn’t reply, but her hand reaches out for mine and she squeezes it lightly. But as fast as this memory came, I stuff it back where it belongs.

  “I still can’t believe Noah is well and that he’s here,” she says, and there’s almost a wonder in her voice.

  “I’m happy for you.” And I mean that. I don’t know how she would have taken it if something happened to the guy. And he does seem decent, even though I wish she did press charges against his sister.

  “It’s strange to see him out of the compound. He’s changed. He’s taller and stronger, but there’s something more broken about him than when we were stuck with the group.”

  Part of me wants to flex my biceps, but I resist the urge. “What do you mean?” And this time, I can feel myself frown. “If you’re worried about him, or if you think he might be dangerous, you should tell the cops. We can go back right now.”

  Her eyes widen. “No, that’s not what I meant. Noah would never hurt me.”

  “He did say he got in trouble,” I mutter, not convinced. People always say shit. My dad promised to always take care of us and look how that turned out.

  “Whatever trouble he got in, he’d never do anything to me. Maybe he’s just worried about his sister. I don’t know. There’s something. I thought it was about Cass but he seemed happy for her,” she thinks out loud. She did that at the hospital too.

  We order our food and stand by one of the high tables. She bites into her döner and moans. And my balls tighten at the sound. I’m mesmerized by the look of pure bliss on her face. I’d love to find other ways for her to have that look.

  Her eyes flutter open and the smile she gives me is one I’ve seen before. It’s a half-smile, almost like she’s thinking the same way I am.

  She flushes. And I’d give everything to whisk her away from all this mess and find ways to forget everything but her skin on mine, my lips trailing down her body.

  “When you look at me like this, your jaw tenses.” She leans forward. And it’s like there’s no one around us anymore.

  But a gust of wind sends some boxes around, including on our table. And she leans back. We both help pick up the few boxes scattered around before finishing our food.

  “Are you okay?” I want to take the words back as soon as I notice the shadow overtaking her eyes.

  “I’m fine.” She hurries back to the parking lot. “I could call Elena and see if she can pick me up.”

  “I’m going to drive you back. I have to see my Fire and Emergency Services Administration professor.”

  She nods without saying a word and then her face lights up. “Noah!” She waves her right arm. Noah is standing outside the police station, his sister next to him, her head down.

  Noah tells her something before gently steering her in our direction. I refrain from telling Lacey that this is a bad idea, but I do stay a half a step ahead of her, just in case.

  We all stand in front of one another for what feels like an eternity before Eve clears her throat. “I’m sorry.” She stares at Lacey, and there’s a flash of anger soon replaced by confusion. “I believed Hailey when she said Noah was dead. I believed her when she said you were responsible. It seemed easier that way, than blame our parents.”

  “I get it,” Lacey replies quickly but the words don’t stumble out. “If something had happened to Noah, I would have felt responsible. He did get kicked out because of me, because of Abram wanting to teach me a lesson.”

  Noah shakes his head but Eve and Lacey don’t seem to notice him. Noah’s eyes meet mine and there’s fury and sadness in there. “Would you stop?” He practically roars and his hand briefly touches Lacey’s shoulder. “Both of you. Would you stop? Why are you saying you feel responsible? I’m the one who broke the rules. But those rules were meant to be broken. Your stepdad is a murderous asshole, Lacey. You didn’t do anything. And Eve? How old were you when Mom and Dad forced us into the cult? I mean come on.”

  Lacey opens her mouth, closes it, opens it again, and then a smile spreads on her face. “He is a murderous asshole,” she yells before dissolving into a fit of giggles. Noah soon joins her while Eve and I simply stare at them.

  Lacey glances up at me, taking a deep breath. “Noah used to call Abram Master Ass or sometimes Master Asshole. I never dared to say it, even behind his back. I did a lot of things I wasn’t supposed to but not that...especially before Noah got kicked out. Noah used to dare me to whisper it during services.”

  “And look at you now. You’re yelling it to the world.” Noah nudges her, no longer laughing. “I thought about writing to him.”

  “I did too. But then I wasn’t quite sure what I was supposed to say. It felt like I was giving him more power.” She bites her lip. “I may not be responsible for what he did, but I still feel like I could have done more. I did tell you not to play that stupid game though.” She laughs again and it doesn’t sound like a nervous laugh anymore. I can’t stop staring at her, loving the sound of her laugh. “Spin the bottle, really? Of all the things to get kicked out for?”

  Noah laughs with her and I can’t imagine what it means for them to be able to laugh about their past like that. But then his face and his tone turn more somber. “I am sorry though. I should have tried harder. I was in a bad place but I should have come back. I knew he was hitting you. I knew what was going on there.”

  Lacey’s body freezes and I wish I could protect her from the memories that must be resurfacing in her mind right now. But I can’t, so instead my hand finds hers and my fingers slowly trace a circle on her palm, soothing her, trying to ground her into the present. I’ve never realized how intimate it is to hold someone’s hand until I held hers.

  Eve turns to her, and Lacey lets go of my hand after squeezing it. She wraps her arms around her stomach, like she’s shielding herself, waiting for another blow. “I heard stories about the compound in Texas, rumors about your stepdad. Some said you and your mom were the ones who made him worse than he was, others said that he was slowly losing control.” Her voice shakes a little. “I shouldn’t have done what I did. And I know I need help. I know finding Noah won’t resolve everything.” She wrings her hands. “I have many issues.”

  “There are associations,” I tell Eve. And Lacey turns to me with a look I can’t quite decipher, a mix of pride and questions. “Associations and programs you can join.�
�

  “You want to help?” Lacey whispers, taking hold of my hand again, sending a tornado of emotions through me with that simple touch. I shrug, because she sounds almost in awe. And it’s like a punch in the stomach. If she knew about the deal I made with her uncle, she wouldn’t understand. She’d feel betrayed. She’d let go of my hand and wouldn’t hold it ever again. I’d never feel her skin again and hear her laugh.

  The tornado of emotions that had been storming through me since her hand touched mine turns into a hurricane.

  Ever since I found Jane Doe’s body in the pool, I need to find ways to help, but maybe this time I went too far.

  “WHAT’S WRONG?” I ASK Lacey as we walk back to her dorm room. Elena, her roommate, is there and Luke is only fifteen minutes away. As soon as he could leave work, he did.

  She shakes her head. She hasn’t been speaking much since we left Noah and Eve. They’re staying in a motel overnight, and since Eve is allowed to leave the state, they’re heading back to Maryland sooner than planned. It’s fucking clear Eve needs help, and Noah got a phone call that their dad is at the hospital. He’s been having health issues and he wants to make sure he sees Noah before surgery.

  Eve opened up a bit about her troubles and every time she spoke, I couldn’t help but wonder if Jane Doe had a similar path. Eve did some drugs, managed to get out after several failed rehabs. She was almost giving up on herself, holding herself responsible for what happened to Noah too.

  “I’ll call you later.”

  She nods again.

  I gently touch her shoulder. “What’s wrong?” I ask again and then realize how fucking stupid of a question that is. “I mean...” Now would be the time for my legendary way with words to make a comeback.

  She tilts her head up and it’s almost like she’s assessing me, and I don’t feel like I’m passing whatever test she’s giving me. “I’ll talk to you later. And we’ll see each other to study soon and then on Friday for the carnival preparation?”