I forgot to keep fighting.
I forgot to focus on each breath.
But I remembered her face before everything went black, and then, I remembered nothing.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Grey
“We’re not getting out of here, are we?”
I forced my eyes open and turned to face Norma. “Ding, ding, ding,” I croaked. “What do we have for her, Johnny?”
She licked her cracked lips and shifted against the concrete. “I’ll take that as a no. Look, I know we’ve had our differences—”
“If you’re tryin’ to apologize, you’re about eleven years too late. You took my children, only your God can save you now.”
Tears fell onto her cheeks. “Is that why you’re doing this? To get back at me?”
“Look around you, Norma,” I growled. “It look like I’m in charge of a goddamned thing?”
She cleared her throat and blinked away the moisture in her eyes before jutting her chin up at me in defiance. “I did what I thought was best for those girls. Celia was gambling—”
“Is that what you think? Jesus, you’ve got no fuckin’ clue what your daughter went through. All you ever cared about was how it made you look.” My vision blurred, forcing my head back down to the mattress with a grunt.
“You’re bleeding again.” The chains around her wrists rattled as she slowly made her way over to my cot. The cold metal brushed against my skin as she examined the wounds on my chest and shoulder. “Jamie, they’re looking worse.”
“Probably because they’re gettin’ worse,” I noted dryly, wondering again why Saint was keeping the two of us alive. It had been weeks since they dragged us from a building that looked a hell of a lot like my storage facility, driving for hours over rough terrain until we reached what had become our new home.
The walls might’ve been different, but it was still the same hellhole as before.
“You need a doctor and strong antibiotics—”
“I know this is gonna come as a shock to you, but we ain’t exactly at a resort—”
The large door vibrated as it was unlocked from the outside, and we fell silent. Norma cowered between the head of the cot I was tied down to and the wall, using my body as a shield when she saw who it was.
Cobra had been gone for weeks, leaving us in the care of men who weren’t comfortable laying a hand on an elderly woman but seemed to have no qualms about beating the shit out of me.
I’d almost come to believe that Saint had redistributed him.
The lines on his face seemed more pronounced as if he’d been gone for years. Cobra snagged a chair, the metal legs scraping loudly against the concrete as he dragged it over to us, but there was no grin or reminders of what day it was as he sank down onto it.
“Grey…” He paused. “Something happened—”
“Your boy Saint get cold feet on killin’ us all of a sudden?” I taunted, even as the hairs on my neck and arms lifted. “That why you’ve been gone for so long?”
He shook his head. “It’s about your son—”
Mikey?
“Son?” Norma moved in front of me to face Cobra, fear suddenly forgotten. “He doesn’t have a son. He has two daugh—”
I flinched as fragments from the cinderblock wall rained down from above my head before watching Norma drop to her knees with a forced exhale.
“Shut the fuck up,” he calmly stated before kicking something away from his shoe. It hit the wall and bounced off before I realized it was a piece of her skull.
Norma fell to the side, facing me, her eyes blinking rapidly as if she couldn’t fathom how she’d ended up on the floor. Bloody bubbles of saliva burst from between her still moving lips.
Cobra slipped the gun into the holster at his shoulder and fell against the back of the chair with a muttered, “Fuck… Fuck!”
I kept my focus on the woman who’d brought my wife into the world, wondering if she’d struck a bargain with the devil himself to stay above ground. Her eyes, which hadn’t been focused on any specific thing, suddenly locked on mine as she mouthed one word, over and over again.
Celia.
Her body began convulsing and then, whatever deal she’d made, expired.
I felt nothing.
“Grey.” There was something in his voice that made me look up at him. It sounded like regret. “There’s no easy way to say this, but your son was—”
“No,” I growled, feeling as though the cot was spinning out beneath me. I lifted my left wrist, testing the limits of the restraints. “Don’t you fuckin’ say it—”
Cobra closed his eyes briefly. “He’s dead—we didn’t want to believe it at first either, but after looking into it—”
The pressure in my head increased until my ears popped, and the truth in his words filtered in. “Looking into it? What the fuck does that mean?”
I never should’ve left you with them…
Tears stung the backs of my eyelids, and I thrashed from side to side, fighting to stay in control, refusing to accept that my son had been taken from me. I closed my eyes, no longer seeing Mikey as a grown man, but a scared little boy who’d needed protecting.
“Mr. Grey, it’s okay. I was climbing trees, and I fell. Didn’t shed one tear, though, because I’m a man… like you.” Mikey puffed his chest out in pride, doing his best to draw my attention away from the fingerprint-shaped bruises along his neck and shoulders.
Injuries that hadn’t come from any tree.
“Hopefully, that tree learned its lesson, kid,” I finally said when I’d regained the use of my tongue.
The grin on his face slipped, but he covered it up with a shrug. “Trees are pretty big, Mr. Grey.”
I clenched and unclenched my fist. “Sounds to me like you need an ax…”
His blue eyes went wide. “An ax?”
“Somethin’ to defend you should that tree get in your way again. Think of it as protection—”
Mike barreled into my legs, his tiny chest heaving with sobs. I sank down to my knees and his hands moved up around the back of my neck. “I got you—”
“I’m not a pussy, Mr. Grey. I just got something in my eyes,” he sniffled, keeping his face against my chest. “You think you know where I could find me an ax?”
He was so fucking small…
“Yeah, kid,” I said quietly, resisting the urge to stroke his dark blond hair, knowing it would only embarrass him further. “You got me.”
Mikey pulled back to look up at me, wiping the stray tears from his cheeks. “You? How can a person be an ax?”
“Look at me. You think that tree’s gonna lay a hand on you when I’m around?”
He quickly shook his head. “No, sir.”
I cupped the side of his face in my hand. “I’ll be your ax ’til I draw my last breath, kid. Ain’t one thing gettin’ past me to hurt you—”
A sharp pain pierced my chest, and I understood completely how someone could die from a broken heart. The jagged pieces of mine cut through walls of muscle and cages of bone as if they were made of butter.
I’d lost two children at the hands of bikers.
A body could only hold so much grief before it came spilling out in the form of blood; and this time, no doctor would be able to put me back together.
“Mikey!” A broken voice wailed. I looked to Cobra in shock before realizing the sound was coming from me. Muscle and bone shifted against old and new wounds as I pulled myself into a sitting position, but I no longer cared. I pushed past the crippling effects of dehydration and electrical jolts of pain, willing to tear myself to shreds for what I’d lost.
I no longer cared.
All this time, I’d kept my mouth shut and let them break my body down, thinking I was keeping him safe. If they were hurting me, they couldn’t hurt them. It was the same deal I’d made with my old man to keep my ma safe, but someone had broken the fucking rules.
I should’ve known better.
“Your family’s in
danger,” Cobra said solemnly. Something flashed in his eyes, but he blinked before I could guess what it might have been.
“I’m gonna rip your throat out,” I said calmly before tugging at the restraint. In some last-second burst of strength bestowed upon grieving fathers, I yanked my arms forward, and the fabric tore from my left wrist, fluttering back down to a cot I was no longer lying on.
The first time I betrayed Death, I half-expected Hades to show up to drag me back to the underworld. A part of me had even craved it; this need to be done with all of it. He never showed, though, and I eventually ventured out of the shadows and back into my role as leader, convinced I’d never be caught.
The second time Death appeared, he hadn’t come alone. Ares was with him. They had the element of surprise; had chosen to ambush me when I least expected it. Still, I was kept alive.
I was forced to keep drawing breath when they couldn’t.
I’d been questioning why Saint hadn’t pulled the trigger since day one, never realizing that the decision had been made to take my son’s life in exchange for mine.
I stalked toward Cobra, waiting for him to draw his gun and end it. My luck had run out. There’d be no cheating Death for the third time. Instead of killing me, he kept his hands by his sides and let me swing. My fist connected with his jaw weakly before he took my legs out from underneath me, sending me down to the concrete.
Tears ran down my cheeks as I begged, “Do it, Cobra. End it right here and now.”
He shook his head, standing his ground before me. “There’s no victory in this, Grey. You’re nothing more than a wounded animal—”
I sucked in ragged breaths. “You wanted to break me… you did it.”
“Not us. The Sons had nothing to do with this. Who were your enemies?”
I jerked my chin up and growled, “You.”
“No.” He pursed his lips. “We wanted a fight, not a massacre. Your family is being picked off, one by one. Tell me who would want to hurt you?”
I ran the back of my hand under my nose with a sniff. “Who would come after my family when it’s clear the Sons have the upper hand?”
I’ll be your ax…
He’d been all alone, had died because of my arrogant pride. I’d started a war, thinking I was a god. Now, I was nothing more than a broken man, down on his knees, begging for death.
“Mikey,” I wept, watching my tears mix with the dried blood on the concrete beneath me.
“You have my word, Grey.” Cobra’s voice was quiet. “The men responsible for your son’s death will be brought to death.”
I rubbed at the back of my neck before slapping at the cinderblock wall with a howl of rage, screaming his name until my throat was raw, and my voice was gone.
I wanted to drown myself in booze until I didn’t feel as though I’d been flayed alive.
It wouldn’t bring him back.
Nothing would bring him back.
The monster used his body to batter the sides of his cage, begging for a kill, craving vengeance. I ground my teeth together. “Put a bullet in my head, Cobra. It’s what you wanted—”
“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I’m going to be the one to end your life, but not like this. I want you fighting back.”
“You want a fight?” Using my good arm, I got to my feet before staggering toward him. I reached out and gripped the lapel on his fancy dress shirt in my hand, surprised at how much strength such a simple action had taken.
Cobra looked down at my hand. “Grey, I’ve told you the Sons aren’t responsible for this. We’ve kept tabs on your family, but I swear to you, we didn’t lay a hand on your son.”
“If you didn’t, then who did?”
The vein in his temple pulsed rapidly, even as his face remained passive. “That’s what we’re trying to figure out. Was there another club? The cartel?”
“I don’t know.” I slumped against his body, unable to hold myself up any longer.
Instead of letting me fall to the floor, Cobra hooked his arm under mine and led me back toward the cot. “Let’s get you back to bed.”
“Ain’t my fuckin’ mother,” I snarled. It would’ve been more menacing were my head not resting against his shoulder.
“No,” he laughed. “But, I’m the closest thing you’ve got to a friend here.”
The door vibrated as it was pulled open and my hand fell away from his shirt. “Jarvis,” I choked, recoiling at the sight of a man I’d trusted.
Cobra stepped away from the cot. “What the fuck is this?”
At the question, the woman being supported in his arms lifted her head with a sloppy smile. “Daddy?”
Kate.
Her long dark hair fell around her face like a curtain, but it didn’t hide the fact that her green eyes were almost entirely black from her blown pupils.
“Saint wanted her—”
“The fuck did you do, Jarvis?” I growled, fighting to stand. “The fuck did you give her?”
He straightened, but I didn’t miss the sweat beading on his upper lip. For all his swagger, he was still afraid of me. “Just gave her the drugs. They should be wearing off soon.”
“I just finished telling him that we had nothing to do with his son’s death and you parade his daughter in here. You see how this looks, don’t you?”
He shifted Kate, and her head flopped back like a doll’s. My heart thrashed wildly in my chest when her chin began to quiver. The corners of her mouth turned down, and she mashed her lips together, just like she had as a baby.
Only this time, it was drug-induced.
“I trusted you with her life, and you were going behind my back this entire time?”
Jarvis tipped her head forward, and she watched him curiously. “Not gonna let a damn thing happen to her, Grey,” he murmured, keeping his eyes on hers.
I made it to my feet, and Cobra placed a hand on my shoulder to steady me. The old me would’ve knocked his teeth in. The old me also wasn’t suffering from a severe case of vertigo.
“She’s here to keep you compliant.”
Jarvis tightened his hold, thrusting Kate’s head up against his. “Saint said he just had a few questions—”
“You really that fuckin’ stupid?” I spat the words. “You had to have known what you were doin’ by bringin’ her here.”
Kate tried bringing her hand up over her mouth but kept missing and hitting her cheek. “I don’t feel good,” she moaned, and I swore my teeth were going to crack from the pressure.
“Lay her on the cot, Jeremy,” Cobra demanded. “And clean up this mess.”
I prayed that the drugs were still in effect enough to hide the fact that her grandmother’s body was lying on the concrete.
He hesitated. “She doesn’t know anything. If Saint lays—”
“Saint will do what he thinks is best and you’ll run back to your club like a good soldier. You want to be paid? Do your fucking job.”
I tried reaching for her, but my right arm flopped uselessly back to my side, another reminder that my shoulder was shot.
When Jarvis made no attempt to move, Cobra exhaled a long sigh and released his hold on me. I managed to keep myself upright by squeezing the metal headboard but swayed from side to side as if on a ship.
“Give her to me,” he said through his teeth. “And clean the fuck up.”
I prepared my body to fight as Cobra took Kate in his arms, knowing the things he’d done to her mother. She blinked up at him in confusion, lashes fluttering against her cheeks as the drugs tried to pull her under again.
He laid her on the cot as if she was made of glass. I sank down beside her, ready to rip out the throat of anyone who got too close.
“She looks just like her mother,” Cobra mused, ignoring the warning growl in my throat.
“You wanna know why I did it, Grey?” Jarvis asked as he dragged Norma’s body across the floor. “Because it should’ve been me. I kept her safe. Me.”
Kate jerked beside me, f
ighting to break away from the hold the drugs had on her. I stroked her forehead with the pad of my thumb like I’d done to soothe her when she was fussy as a baby. When she sighed and went still again, I turned back to Jarvis. “She didn’t choose you, so you abandoned your brothers and broke your oath to the club. You don’t deserve to wear that kutte.”
“I obeyed every one of your goddamn rules,” he hissed. “Kate was the one thing I wanted. But bikers weren’t good enough for your little girls. You’re such a fucking hypocrite, Grey.”
He reached the door and turned around. “Oh, and one more thing. I broke rule number one… and rule number two—fuck, remind me which number her sucking me off was? You only have yourself to blame for her being here right now.”
Cobra began clapping slowly. “Good for you, Jeremy. You traded your patch for pussy. It’s clear you’ve served your purpose, now get the fuck out of here.”
My hands shook with rage. I wanted to watch him struggle for air as I choked the life out of him.
“Hey, Jarvis,” I growled. “I’m gonna take pleasure in retrievin’ your colors before sendin’ you to the Reaper.”
He nodded. “Yeah, we’ll see about that. I’m not liking your chances, Pres.”
When the door rolled shut behind him, I shifted to face Cobra, tucking my daughter behind my body. I didn’t have much left in me, but I’d give it all to keep her safe.
“I’m not interested in your daughter, Grey. But if Saint is, you have cause to worry.”
“You didn’t know, did you?” I stroked Kate’s hair when she whimpered, mumbling strings of gibberish.
He leaned against the wall. “No. Maybe it’s his way of keeping her safe until we know who killed your son.”
Tears stung my eyes as I thought about Mikey. I’d broken so many of my promises over the years, but knowing that I’d failed him in this was almost too much to bear. I tightened my hold on Kate and fought against the urge to close my eyes.
They’d already ripped two children away from me.
I’d be damned if I let them take another.
“I’m gonna get us out of this, Katydid. I swear to you.”
Savior: Silent Phoenix MC Series: Book Five Page 27