by Shel Stone
But no, she found Abby sitting with some girls. So where the hell was Adrian? It wasn’t a good thing to have him out of sight. Going through the house, she searched, finally seeing him out the window with his back turned to the house, smoking. He’d gone outside for a cigarette, and to the side of her was the door he’d probably gone through.
She should absolutely not do this, but her fingers itched to, and she wasn’t sure how much more of these boring conversations she could take. With her fingers, she pressed down on the handle and the noise made him turn around to see her. The expression on his face was indeterminable, but he didn’t turn away in disgust.
“I can’t stay away from you if you come to me,” he said as she stepped outside. The wind was harsh. It really did feel like snow was on the way.
Adrian wore a navy knit sweater and moleskin pants. It was a good color for him. “Didn’t think you’d keep to your word. Been waiting for the other shoe to drop all night.”
Was there anything worse than when he smiled like that. “I’m not,” he said. “Not tonight anyway.”
“Yeah, when?”
“Can’t give my campaign secrets away.”
“You are hard to read, I’ll give you that.”
It felt strange standing there just talking. Whenever they talked in person, he came to her and invariably intimidated her with his nearness. Something he very much did on purpose, but there was nothing of that tonight and it was throwing her.
The silence grew awkward between them and it was so cold. Cecily stamped her feet to keep warm. In light of how everyone saw her, she had made little effort dressing. No reason to give them fodder in their ‘Cecily is a slut’ mantra.
“So things aren’t over, then?” she asked. He didn’t answer, or look at her. “What more do you want?” she asked. “You’ve ruined my reputation. My father thinks I’m a slut, as does just about every guy in the school.”
“Except Monty.”
“Except Mont.”
“Where is Monty tonight?”
“Some lacrosse thing, I think.”
“You fucking him?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but no.”
Adrian snorted. Cecily couldn’t really read the meaning of it. Did he not believe her?
“So what else is it you want from me?”
Now he turned to her. Hell, he was tall. “Honestly, I don’t know.”
“Well, that’s helpful.”
“I want you to not fuck Monty. How’s that?”
“Clearly my happiness is severely offensive to you.”
“Well, I’m not happy, so why should you be?”
“You’re totally fucking infuriating,” she growled.
“He’s not the right guy for you.”
Cecily stared at him with astonishment. “Then who is? Some Euro ponce? Yeah, I can assure you, that’s going to happen eventually. But I have to get through this fucking year first, if that’s alright with you! As much as that offends you.”
“You offend me,” he said sullenly.
“I think we’ve established that.”
Stepping closer, they stood toe to toe. He towered over her, a look of disgust on his face. There was definitely intimidation here, but she wasn’t backing down. With all her might, she pushed him and he staggered back. No, she would not be intimidated. They just stared at each other for a while. Then he came for her. His hands to her head, his lips to hers. Nothing gentle.
Shock froze Cecily for a moment. Shock, offense—outrage, but she couldn’t stop kissing him back. It was the new battle line. His tongue battled with hers, and the taste of him suffused her mind, along with all other of her senses. No, she couldn’t let it, because if she lost her wits, the battle was lost. But God, she needed more.
The feel of him to her was absolute elation, but he wasn’t giving up the battleground between their mouths. The kiss broke for a moment and he smiled quickly before claiming her mouth again. Emotions and energy poured out of her. All the anger she’d felt, all the upset, the tension, the nerves.
She felt the wall of the house behind her, him pressing to her. As his punishing lips sought the most sensitive skin along her neck, her legs wrapped around him. She wasn’t giving ground, and she ground when his hard cock pressed to her entrance. Sensations swirled through her body from every part of her. Urgent and heady, threatening her grip on reality.
Again they kissed, through hurried breaths, ripping and clawing, she got her hands under his sweater and t-shirt to the warm, smooth skin. Wetness was seeping out of her, more so as he ground his hips to hers. She was absolutely on fire.
Shifting back from her, he ripped his sweater and shirt over his head, making it so much easier for her to feel him, to touch him. Returning, he fumbled with his belt. That he was ready was beyond question, his cock straining his pants.
Urgently, she shimmied out of her pant leg and shoe, only bothering with one before he drew her to him. Belt undone, pants undoing, he was watching her, waiting for her to back down. No, neither of them was going to back down.
The onslaught of sensation unleashed her as he pushed into her, all the way. The fullness and stretch. It had an edge of pain to it, but it couldn’t compete with the pleasure. Her insides were molten and the currents of sensation were unstoppable. His groans in her ear making it compound.
Her arms around him, she held on tightly as each thrust heaved her into the wall behind her. The sensation was so intense, she didn’t know what to do with it. Her orgasm came on strong, making her cry out, her body jerking with the intensity of the waves.
Deep, guttural groans escaped him as he released inside her, his whole body stiff and straining. Exquisiteness held them frozen for endless moments, until it released and breath stole back into her lungs. His heavy breaths flared by her ear and he groaned as if in pain when she moved.
Bringing his hand up, he supported them against the wall. Cecily was still catching her breath, not sure her knees would hold if he put her down.
He winced as he pulled out of her, his body still weak with the aftermath. “Fuck,” he said.
Well, that certainly hadn’t been pretty and she was sure neither of them had intended for it to happen. Her body was pumping out heat as she fumbled with her pants to get them on properly.
Adrian turned to lean on the wall beside her. She could see the steam coming off his chest. “You should get dressed,” she said. “It’s cold.”
He didn’t move for a moment, was still laboring with his breath.
“Should I expect to see that on the net tomorrow?” she asked.
“Believe me, if I’d had the foresight to record that, I wouldn’t be sharing it with anyone.”
The realization of what they’d just done was starting to register. Oh God, this might be the dumbest thing she’d ever done, but there had been no rational thinking involved. Well, he’d said he wanted to fuck her and now he had. She hoped he was happy. As for herself, she wasn’t exactly elated about what she’d just done. Not to mention severely confused, because after a guy had done what he’d done to her, the logical thing was to sleep with him again? Was it okay to hate herself now? “I hate you,” she said and watched as he pushed off the wall to go pick up his discarded sweater.
“I think I need another cigarette.”
“Great,” she said tersely and walked back inside. God, what had she done? How in the world could she explain this? How would she explain this to Morgan? Although tempted to never mention this to anyone, she’d just fucked Adrian—who saw no need at all for discretion, and had put it on the fucking internet the last time. Oh God, she was going to hell.
Chapter 31
SITTING ON A STONE bench with his sweater in his lap, Adrian leaned on his hand holding his newly lit cigarette. His pants were done up, but his belt wasn’t. No rational explanation if someone came out and saw him like this. Not that he cared. He just couldn’t believe it had just happened. And he was getting hard just thinking about it. It
had been… scorchingly hot.
It was also confusing. He couldn’t sort out how he was feeling. That seemed to have been a problem of late, because his emotions were a complete mess. Not sensible for a guy who normally didn’t do feelings. This mess had arrived the day she had. Hatred, anger, elation—lust. She was the root and cause of it.
Finally he started to feel the cold and he pulled on his t-shirt and then sweater, then stroked his hands over his face. This thing between him and Cecily was complicated. The stone bench was seeping warmth out of him and he stood to return inside.
Nothing had changed inside, people talking, laughing, got drunk. Couples likely making out in the dark corners of the house.
Adrian returned to the kitchen, where he grabbed himself another bottle of beer. On the other side of the living room, Cecily was standing with her arms crossed tightly around her, not really listening to what they were saying. What was going on in her mind?
“Hey,” Abby said. “I see your nemesis showed her face this evening. Gutsy.”
“We just fucked,” Adrian confessed, because he felt he needed someone else’s opinion on all this.
“What?” Abby replied with absolute disbelief. “Just now?”
He nodded.
“What the fuck is wrong with her?” Abby demanded. “Why the hell would she do that? I get that you’re a little fucked-up puppy, but what the hell does she think she’s doing?” Adrian hadn’t expected Abby to react so harshly. “She’s keeping this bullshit going. Like, you two need to stop. I thought it was you, but it’s her.”
“Maybe she’s a dirty little slut, just like me,” Adrian said with a smile, partially to annoy Abby. But it didn’t feel like a lie. It felt like… Why couldn’t they be dealing with logic here? It was so much easier to understand.
“She’s something,” Abby said with distaste.
Taking a sip of his beer, he watched Cecily, who wasn’t paying him any attention. He wondered if she was kicking herself for what she’d done, or was pretending it had never happened. His spill was inside her right now and there was a very base and primal feeling that went with that.
Beside him, Abby snorted and was about to walk away.
“Abby,” he called until she turned to him. “Don’t tell anyone.”
Her mouth opened as if to argue, but decided against it.
Movement drew his attention away. The girls were leaving. Cecily threw him a look, their eyes locked for a moment before she disappeared out of sight.
Turning himself toward the kitchen bench, he grabbed the bottle of rum and poured himself a generous measure. Beer wasn’t going to cut it.
*
With a thumping headache, Adrian felt like shit when they got back to the city. He needed water and he needed to sleep, but all he wanted was Cecily’s body. What he didn’t want was to deal with all the shit that went with it. Deal with her, and try to figure out what they were, where they were and what it all fucking meant.
The car dropped him off in front of his apartment and with a grunt, he said goodbye to Finn and Seb. And just to make his life difficult, his father was actually home when Adrian walked in. One look and his father knew exactly in what state he was rolling in. A look of disgust crossed his father’s features—as if he was expecting something else. Adrian had no idea what the man was expecting of a teenager, to join some young business leaders of America club?
Ignoring him, Adrian went to his room and unscrewed a bottle of water before downing it whole. Then he chuckled at imagining what his father would say if he knew what he’d done to Jeffrey Chambers’ daughter last night. At least one of them was fucking a Chambers and not being fucked by one.
Laying down on his bed, he crossed his ankles and sighed. At times, Sundays were the shittiest days. The day nothing good ever happened.
His phone drew him. It didn’t normally, refusing to be the sad sack glued to their phone for social endorsement, but it drew him as it always did lately, searching for her in everyone’s pictures. Mishti could always be relied on to insist on group selfies. And there she was, smiling, clear eyes and pink lips. He stared at it for a while. Where was she right now?
Moving to the text screen, he wrote. I have to say, a memorable night.
Seconds ticked by as he waited for her response. Pretty bland as far as I’m concerned, finally appeared on his screen.
Poor Cecily, I think I hear the bitterness of regret.
Nope. Is. Was. Past.
Was that how she was going to spin it? It is, though? he wrote. That you unintentionally fucked me? Can’t stop yourself. You burn for me.
Screw you.
Come over and show me.
No response came this time. Right now, he could image her swearing, absolutely regretting what she’d done. Probably afraid what he would do with this juicy revelation. The girl he’d ruined came back for more. But it didn’t serve his purposes to spread this information. He had no reason to. Leverage was no good if you spent it.
Putting the phone to side, he sighed, thinking he should probably get up and shower, but he was too tired to. Besides, there was something very pleasing about having her scent on him. So pleasing, it followed him into the dream that enveloped him in softness and moans.
Chapter 32
TRY AS SHE MIGHT, she couldn’t bring herself to tell the girls what had happened. Couldn’t even think of how she could bring something like that up in the conversation. Oh, by the way, I just accidentally fucked Adrian.
And she hadn’t said anything when she and Morgan had gone to yoga the next day. It sat there in her mind like a horrible confession that she never managed to get out. Mostly because Morgan would think she was completely mental, or weak as shit. Now that was a question she didn’t even want to answer. Was she weak for having done that? What other explanation was there? Well, tension, obviously. Unrelenting tension between them for a long time now.
Why had she done it? Wasn’t her life complicated enough without doing something so stupid? And the worst was that it had been so incredibly hot. She’d melted completely, had totally lost control. It was cringeworthy to think the ammunition she’d just handed him.
The flesh was weak. No truer words had ever been spoken. And with Adrian, she was weak, even after everything he’d done. But sometimes people had weaknesses like that, people just did stupid things and couldn’t say no to some people. She’d thought Jasper had been that for her, but no, not really.
And then there had been his texts, reaching out to her, taunting her. Not that she had expected anything less from him. Even now, she couldn’t figure out what he wanted from her. Well, if it had been more ways of humiliating her, she’d been very complicit and handed him a good one.
Feeling extra nervous, she walked into school on Monday morning, in her newly laundered and pressed uniform. She had no idea what she was walking into. There hadn’t been any calls from Morgan or any of the other girls telling her that shit was hitting the fan on social. Then again, they could be so pissed off with her that they figured she was hopeless and hadn’t bothered.
Scanning faces, she sought derision, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing was written on her locker and people weren’t throwing things at her like they had the first time. Adrian hadn’t used this little nugget as she’d expected. No, he was hanging onto it, and she had learnt that he didn’t do things for no reason. If he was keeping it quiet, it was because it suited him. What she had to worry about was what for.
He’d made no secret that he believed she burned for him. Those were the words he’d used. And it wasn’t true—except at the party, when… Cecily sighed and pushed her books into her locker, taking out the ones she needed. English fucking Lit. On the surface a subject she didn’t mind, but this particular class was a minefield—every single day.
“Can I talk to you?” said a voice she couldn’t immediately identify, turning to see Abby. They had only spoken a few times and Abby had been alright. Had never derided her like other people h
ad, and Cecily was grateful for it. Still, this made her wary as hell. Abby and Adrian were tight.
Abby marched ahead to the girl’s bathroom, and by the walk, Cecily could tell this girl was angry.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Abby demanded as they were alone in the girl’s bathroom.
“I…” Cecily started, but words couldn’t form. Was she jealous? Had Cecily trampled on toes? “Look if there’s a thing between you and Adrian—”
“Would you care if there was?” Abby demanded. “I used to feel sorry for you.”
Flush crept up Cecily’s cheeks, because she got where Abby was coming from. It was harder to feel sorry for someone who goes back to again screw the person who completely tortured them. Clearly she knew. Adrian must have told her. Cloying unease shifted inside her.
“What, are you trying to fuck with him now?” Abby went on, waiting for an answer.
“It just happened.”
“No, nothing just happens. That’s bullshit.”
All the excuses she’d thought of to say to Morgan about it just fled out of her mind. She had no excuse. All she could do was stand there and feel stupid.
“So what’s your plan now?” Abby continued.
“There was no plan at all. It was stupid and I admit it. But I don’t get why you’re getting so riled up about it.”
“Because you’re keeping this bullshit going. You’re participating in it as much as he is.”
That was not true, but it was hard to convey that in light of what had happened. “Look, it’s not going to happen again.”
Abby was watching her intently as if trying to determine what she believed. “You’re a dumb bitch.” With that, she pushed past and left. Biting her lip, Cecily just stood there. It was hard to be offended, because it was the truth. How could she claim to be a victim if she went back for more? It was and it had been stupid.
With a groan she ran her hand over her face. Her actions seemed so much worse now than before. It usually did when people angrily agreed that she had acted dumb as hell. And clearly she had stepped on some toes, even if she didn’t understand what kind of relationship existed between them. Whatever it was, it certainly hadn’t stopped him.