Guy Mannering; or, The Astrologer — Complete

by Walter Scott

  Loud and repeated bursts of laughter from different quarters of the houseproved that her labours were acceptable, and not unrewarded by a generouspublic. With some difficulty a waiter was prevailed upon to show ColonelMannering and Dinmont the room where their friend learned in the law heldhis hebdomadal carousals. The scene which it exhibited, and particularlythe attitude of the counsellor himself, the principal figure therein,struck his two clients with amazement.

  Mr. Pleydell was a lively, sharp-looking gentleman, with a professionalshrewdness in his eye, and, generally speaking, a professional formalityin his manners. But this, like his three-tailed wig and black coat, hecould slip off on a Saturday evening, when surrounded by a party of jollycompanions, and disposed for what he called his altitudes. On the presentoccasion the revel had lasted since four o'clock, and at length, underthe direction of a venerable compotator, who had shared the sports andfestivity of three generations, the frolicsome company had begun topractise the ancient and now forgotten pastime of HIGH JINKS. This gamewas played in several different ways. Most frequently the dice werethrown by the company, and those upon whom the lot fell were obliged toassume and maintain for a time a certain fictitious character, or torepeat a certain number of fescennine verses in a particular order. Ifthey departed from the characters assigned, or if their memory provedtreacherous in the repetition, they incurred forfeits, which were eithercompounded for by swallowing an additional bumper or by paying a smallsum towards the reckoning. At this sport the jovial company were closelyengaged when Mannering entered the room.

  Mr. Counsellor Pleydell, such as we have described him, was enthroned asa monarch in an elbow-chair placed on the dining-table, his scratch wigon one side, his head crowned with a bottle-slider, his eye leering withan expression betwixt fun and the effects of wine, while his court aroundhim resounded with such crambo scraps of verse as these:--

  Where is Gerunto now? and what's become of him? Gerunto's drowned becausehe could not swim, etc., etc.

  Such, O Themis, were anciently the sports of thy Scottish children!Dinmont was first in the room. He stood aghast a moment, and thenexclaimed, 'It's him, sure enough. Deil o' the like o' that ever I saw!'

  At the sound of 'Mr. Dinmont and Colonel Mannering wanting to speak toyou, sir,' Pleydell turned his head, and blushed a little when he saw thevery genteel figure of the English stranger. He was, however, of theopinion of Falstaff, 'Out, ye villains, play out the play!' wiselyjudging it the better way to appear totally unconcerned. 'Where be ourguards?' exclaimed this second Justinian; 'see ye not a stranger knightfrom foreign parts arrived at this our court of Holyrood, with our boldyeoman Andrew Dinmont, who has succeeded to the keeping of our royalflocks within the forest of Jedwood, where, thanks to our royal care inthe administration of justice, they feed as safe as if they were withinthe bounds of Fife? Where be our heralds, our pursuivants, our Lyon, ourMarchmount, our Carrick, and our Snowdown? Let the strangers be placed atour board, and regaled as beseemeth their quality and this our highholiday; to-morrow we will hear their tidings.'

  'So please you, my liege, to-morrow's Sunday,' said one of the company.

  'Sunday, is it? then we will give no offence to the assembly of the kirk;on Monday shall be their audience.'

  Mannering, who had stood at first uncertain whether to advance orretreat, now resolved to enter for the moment into the whim of the scene,though internally fretting at Mac-Morlan for sending him to consult witha crack-brained humourist. He therefore advanced with three profoundcongees, and craved permission to lay his credentials at the feet of theScottish monarch, in order to be perused at his best leisure. The gravitywith which he accommodated himself to the humour of the moment, and thedeep and humble inclination with which he at first declined, and thenaccepted, a seat presented by the master of the ceremonies, procured himthree rounds of applause.

  'Deil hae me, if they arena a' mad thegither!' said Dinmont, occupyingwith less ceremony a seat at the bottom of the table; 'or else they haetaen Yule before it comes, and are gaun a-guisarding.'

  A large glass of claret was offered to Mannering, who drank it to thehealth of the reigning prince. 'You are, I presume to guess,' said themonarch, 'that celebrated Sir Miles Mannering, so renowned in the Frenchwars, and may well pronounce to us if the wines of Gascony lose theirflavour in our more northern realm.'

  Mannering, agreeably flattered by this allusion to the fame of hiscelebrated ancestor, replied by professing himself only a distantrelation of the preux chevalier, and added, 'that in his opinion the winewas superlatively good.'

  'It's ower cauld for my stamach,' said Dinmont, setting down theglass--empty however.

  'We will correct that quality,' answered King Paulus, the first of thename; 'we have not forgotten that the moist and humid air of our valleyof Liddel inclines to stronger potations. Seneschal, let our faithfulyeoman have a cup of brandy; it will be more germain to the matter.'

  'And now,' said Mannering, 'since we have unwarily intruded upon yourmajesty at a moment of mirthful retirement, be pleased to say when youwill indulge a stranger with an audience on those affairs of weight whichhave brought him to your northern capital.'

  The monarch opened Mac-Morlan's letter, and, running it hastily over,exclaimed with his natural voice and manner, 'Lucy Bertram of Ellangowan,poor dear lassie!'

  'A forfeit! a forfeit!' exclaimed a dozen voices; 'his majesty has forgothis kingly character.'

  'Not a whit! not a whit!' replied the king; 'I'll be judged by thiscourteous knight. May not a monarch love a maid of low degree? Is notKing Cophetua and the Beggar-maid an adjudged case in point?'

  'Professional! professional! another forfeit,' exclaimed the tumultuarynobility.

  'Had not our royal predecessors,' continued the monarch, exalting hissovereign voice to drown these disaffected clamours,--'had they not theirJean Logies, their Bessie Carmichaels, their Oliphants, their Sandilands,and their Weirs, and shall it be denied to us even to name a maiden whomwe delight to honour? Nay, then, sink state and perish sovereignty! for,like a second Charles V, we will abdicate, and seek in the private shadesof life those pleasures which are denied to a throne.'

  So saying, he flung away his crown, and sprung from his exalted stationwith more agility than could have been expected from his age, orderedlights and a wash-hand basin and towel, with a cup of green tea, intoanother room, and made a sign to Mannering to accompany him. In less thantwo minutes he washed his face and hands, settled his wig in the glass,and, to Mannering's great surprise, looked quite a different man from thechildish Bacchanal he had seen a moment before.

  'There are folks,' he said, 'Mr. Mannering, before whom one should takecare how they play the fool, because they have either too much malice ortoo little wit, as the poet says. The best compliment I can pay ColonelMannering is to show I am not ashamed to expose myself before him; andtruly I think it is a compliment I have not spared to-night on yourgood-nature. But what's that great strong fellow wanting?'

  Dinmont, who had pushed after Mannering into the room, began with ascrape with his foot and a scratch of his head in unison. 'I am DandieDinmont, sir, of the Charlie's Hope--the Liddesdale lad; ye'll mind me?It was for me ye won yon grand plea.'

  'What plea, you loggerhead?' said the lawyer. 'D'ye think I can rememberall the fools that come to plague me?'

  'Lord, sir, it was the grand plea about the grazing o' the Langtae Head!'said the farmer.

  'Well, curse thee, never mind; give me the memorial and come to me onMonday at ten,' replied the learned counsel.

  'But, sir, I haena got ony distinct memorial.'

  'No memorial, man?' said Pleydell.

  'Na, sir, nae memorial,' answered Dandie; 'for your honour said before,Mr. Pleydell, ye'll mind, that ye liked best to hear us hill-folk tellour ain tale by word o' mouth.'

  'Beshrew my tongue, that said so!' answered the counsellor; 'it will costmy ears a dinning. Well, say in two words what you've got to say. You seethe gentleman waits.'


  'Ou, sir, if the gentleman likes he may play his ain spring first; it'sa' ane to Dandie.'

  'Now, you looby,' said the lawyer, 'cannot you conceive that yourbusiness can be nothing to Colonel Mannering, but that he may not chooseto have these great ears of thine regaled with his matters?'

  'Aweel, sir, just as you and he like, so ye see to my business,' saidDandie, not a whit disconcerted by the roughness of this reception.'We're at the auld wark o' the marches again, Jock o' Dawston Cleugh andme. Ye see we march on the tap o' Touthop-rigg after we pass thePomoragrains; for the Pomoragrains, and Slackenspool, and Bloodylaws,they come in there, and they belang to the Peel; but after ye passPomoragrains at a muckle great saucer-headed cutlugged stane that theyca' Charlie's Chuckie, there Dawston Cleugh and Charlie's Hope theymarch. Now, I say the march rins on the tap o' the hill where the windand water shears; but Jock o' Dawston Cleugh again, he contravenes that,and says that it bauds down by the auld drove-road that gaes awa by theKnot o' the Gate ower to Keeldar Ward; and that makes an uncodifference.'

  'And what difference does it make, friend?' said Pleydell. 'How manysheep will it feed?'

  'Ou, no mony,' said Dandie, scratching his head; 'it's lying high andexposed: it may feed a hog, or aiblins twa in a good year.'

  'And for this grazing, which may be worth about five shillings a year,you are willing to throw away a hundred pound or two?'

  'Na, sir, it's no for the value of the grass,' replied Dinmont; 'it's forjustice.'

  'My good friend,' said Pleydell, 'justice, like charity, should begin athome. Do you justice to your wife and family, and think no more about thematter.'

  Dinmont still lingered, twisting his hat in his hand. 'It's no for that,sir; but I would like ill to be bragged wi' him; he threeps he'll bring ascore o' witnesses and mair, and I'm sure there's as mony will swear forme as for him, folk that lived a' their days upon the Charlie's Hope, andwadna like to see the land lose its right.'

  'Zounds, man, if it be a point of honour,' said the lawyer, 'why don'tyour landlords take it up?'

  'I dinna ken, sir (scratching his head again); there's been naeelection-dusts lately, and the lairds are unco neighbourly, and Jock andme canna get them to yoke thegither about it a' that we can say; but ifye thought we might keep up the rent--'

  'No! no! that will never do,' said Pleydell. 'Confound you, why don't youtake good cudgels and settle it?'

  'Odd, sir,' answered the farmer, 'we tried that three times already,that's twice on the land and ance at Lockerby Fair. But I dinna ken;we're baith gey good at single-stick, and it couldna weel be judged.'

  'Then take broadswords, and be d--d to you, as your fathers did beforeyou,' said the counsel learned in the law.

  'Aweel, sir, if ye think it wadna be again the law, it's a' ane toDandie.'

  'Hold! hold!' exclaimed Pleydell, 'we shall have another Lord Soulis'mistake. Pr'ythee, man, comprehend me; I wish you to consider how verytrifling and foolish a lawsuit you wish to engage in.'

  'Ay, sir?' said Dandie, in a disappointed tone. 'So ye winna take on wi'me, I'm doubting?'

  'Me! not I. Go home, go home, take a pint and agree.' Dandie looked buthalf contented, and still remained stationary. 'Anything more, myfriend?'

  'Only, sir, about the succession of this leddy that's dead, auld MissMargaret Bertram o' Singleside.'

  'Ay, what about her?' said the counsellor, rather surprised.

  'Ou, we have nae connexion at a' wi' the Bertrams,' said Dandie; 'theywere grand folk by the like o' us; but Jean Liltup, that was auldSingleside's housekeeper, and the mother of these twa young ladies thatare gane--the last o' them's dead at a ripe age, I trow--Jean Liltup cameout o' Liddel water, and she was as near our connexion as second cousinto my mother's half-sister. She drew up wi' Singleside, nae doubt, whenshe was his housekeeper, and it was a sair vex and grief to a' her kithand kin. But he acknowledged a marriage, and satisfied the kirk; and nowI wad ken frae you if we hae not some claim by law?'

  'Not the shadow of a claim.'

  'Aweel, we're nae puirer,' said Dandie; 'but she may hae thought on us ifshe was minded to make a testament. Weel, sir, I've said my say; I'see'en wish you good-night, and--' putting his hand in his pocket.

  'No, no, my friend; I never take fees on Saturday nights, or without amemorial. Away with you, Dandie.' And Dandie made his reverence anddeparted accordingly.