The United States of Rebellia

by RJ Pritchett

  She turned around, “This world we’re in now is unlike Earth in one way, we cannot die. Since we cannot die, our bodies will never be trapped in the soil beneath my feet. The reason for that is because we’re already dead as I told you before… and since I’m already dead, the stuff that I tell you people will not affect me in no way, shape or form. You may disagree with my thoughts but there’s no real way of proving it unless you’re in the situation I’m in. When you die, come back and tell the people what you’ve seen. Tell everybody what God is like and which religion is the one teaching the truth. Tell us which Bible verses were handwritten by God itself. Tell everybody what the future holds for everybody back on Earth… I know exactly what the future holds.”

  She turned her back to the semicircle of people and looked back into the bonfire. She pointed to the violent flames as it chewed viciously on a burnt log.

  “This is Earth’s future. Believe it or not, the Earth will look exactly like this one day. Because of war, destruction, and global warming to name a couple of reasons, the Earth will be covered in nothing but fire. You know what place is theorized to be covered in flames for all eternity? Yeah. As I said before, you must come to grips with the fact that you are in hell. Earth is hell, believe it or not. Not a lot of people would agree with that because nobody looks at the bigger picture in the home of the greed. That is why their home is burning in an intense fire that’s reaching up to the night sky.”

  She paused and closed her eyes to listen to the snapping of the wood in the flames behind her. She wanted the sound to calm her, but instead, it fueled her anger in front of this crowd. She opened her eyes and took another glance at her special guest for a split second.

  “Okay, I’m almost done talking. Listen to what I’m saying and think about it, I’m not forcing you to listen to me. In this world, we are all free. We’re free to do whatever we choose without as many consequences. You can choose to walk away and not come back if you want to. You have that right,” she paused to take another deep breath.

  “There are a lot of horrible things in the world, but one of the most dangerous is love. Some say love is the greatest feeling of all, some say love can be a horrible feeling because it leaves you vulnerable to pain. Relationships contain love, and most relationships contain secrets. Because you love, you’ll feel pain when you find out those horrible secrets. Those secrets can be anything such as a horrible past, infidelity or just something that one person just doesn’t want their partner to know. You can only be betrayed by someone you love because it wouldn’t hurt much if you didn’t care about that person. On Earth, nothing lasts forever. Therefore, when you love something, and it goes away, you feel heartbroken. That is why a few of you are here. You feel incomplete because you’ve loved, and you’ve lost, but I’ll tell you something… it happened to all of us. I know Benny lost something that he loved. His wife, his children, he probably won’t be seeing them for a long time because of what happened, but I won’t spoil the story for you, he’ll tell you himself. Without further ado… Benny, come up here.”

  Benny, the large man in all-white stood up to a generous applause from his peers. He waved to the applauding crowd as he walked towards the bonfire. He shook Rebellia’s hand before the two of them faced the crowd side-by-side.

  “Benny made a big mistake in life. But he’s such a wonderful guy that it’s weird that God would deny him a spot in Heaven immediately after his story ended. But as I alluded to previously, there’s plenty of good people here that should be in Heaven right now and for some reason… they’re here. Benny’s story is a tale of lies and betrayal, and the moral of the story is-”

  Chapter 2 (Benny’s Story)

  “An unfaithful relationship is bound to go up in flames.”

  That statement is a hundred percent true. A relationship is supposed to be a bond shared by two people that nobody in the world could ever break. True love lasts forever, long after our bodies leave the Earth... but my decision has hindered that love my wife and I shared. I am ashamed of myself as I speak right now.

  It was after midnight when I was coming home one night from my friend’s house. He only lived down the road, so I was walking towards my house in no time. As I was walking up my porch, I heard a rustling noise in the only tree on the side of my house. I meant to chop that tree down because it’s right next to my bedroom window and I didn’t want an accident to ever happen during a potential storm… but anyway, I ignored the sound because it was probably the wind or a squirrel. I opened the door to my house and the first thing I hear is...

  “Where were you?” I saw my wife standing in the hall, next to the kitchen, staring directly at me. I could tell she was mad because of her body language, you know, eyebrows lowered, arms folded, all that good stuff. She was furious even though I remember texting her, telling her that I was going to be at my friend’s house watching the game.

  “I told you that I was going to be watching the game at Anthony’s house,” I said to her.

  “Until this time? It’s 1:30,” she said, looking at the time on the cable box in the living room. “I’m sure that game isn’t that long.”

  “First of all, they were on the west coast,” I said, “secondly, the game went into overtime and I came here as soon as the game was done. The Hornets won, so now Anthony owes me a hundred dollars.”

  “Oh, so you’re gambling now?” she asked, her demeanor changed from bad to worse. I knew I was in trouble. She walked closer to me, sniffing the air and staring into my eyes, “Were you drinking?”

  “A little,” I said. I didn’t drink a lot. I was telling the truth. “Come on, let’s just go to bed. I’m sleepy.”

  “Oh no,” she said, almost laughing, “you’re not sleeping in my room tonight.”

  “Our room,” I reminded her. Sometimes, this woman acted like she owned the place even though I was the one paying the mortgage. Yeah, she did a lot of other stuff, but I was the breadwinner of the house. Nobody was going to tell me where I can and can’t sleep.

  “Not tonight it isn’t,” she said, “I don’t know where you’re coming from. You probably were down at that bar hooking up with that slutty bartender you’re always flirting with. Don’t expect me to believe that story about you watching the game at Anthony’s house. Nobody gathers at another person’s house to watch the Hornets.”

  One of the worst things a woman can do is disrespect a man’s favorite sports team, but I didn’t pay it any attention because that wasn’t important at this moment. “What are you talking about? I was at Anthony’s house. Do you want me to call him so he can provide an alibi?”

  “No. I know the guy code,” she said, “Anthony will say whatever he thinks will keep you out of trouble.”

  “What if I tell him to give his wife the phone? She’ll tell you,” I said.

  “Yeah, because it’s impossible for you to call them on your way home and tell them what to say. I don’t believe you, Bernard, and because you want to be coming home this late at night, you’ll be sleeping on the couch tonight.”

  “This is my house. You can’t tell me where I can and can’t sleep,” my voice was getting louder, and she decided to mirror my volume.

  “Oh fucking well, Bernard,” she said, “you’re not sleeping in my bed. There are some sheets on the couch waiting for you. Try not to piss on them, Drunky.”

  “You know what? I’m not gonna sit here and argue with you. It’ll just wake the kids. Fuck it. I’ll sleep on the couch. I don’t mind because I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I just enjoyed the game with a friend of mines and that’s it. The Hornets won, so nothing can ruin my mood tonight,” I was talking more to myself than to her.

  She smiled and walked up the stairs to our bedroom.

  “Oh, and next time you come in the house this late, you won’t even have that couch to sleep on,” she said, halfway up the stairs.

  When she closed the door to our bedroom, she locked it. I shook my head and exhaled. My marriage was falling apart ri
ght before my eyes and her insecurities were the reason for it. She always suspected me of cheating and I would never cheat on her. She’s my wife. I’ve been with her for nineteen years, there’s no way in hell I’m cheating on her. I love her even though her attitude leaves much to be desired nowadays.

  I don’t even remember falling asleep. I just remember waking up to bad news. My head was sore from obviously being hungover. I held it and let out a whispering moan. I turned to see the middle child of my three kids. Taylor was one of the sweetest eleven-year-old girls you would ever meet in your life. She was kind of a nerd, which made me proud because some kids hate learning. She was watching the news and I saw her writing down in a composition notebook as she looked at the TV.

  “Good morning,” she turned to me and smiled.

  “Why are you watching the news?” I said instead of ‘good morning’. I guess I decided to be rude to my daughter that day. “Back when I was your age, I would watch cartoons on Saturday mornings, not the news.”

  “Dad, you have to see this. There was a shooting at a Baltimore gas station. The whole gas station ended up blowing up, killing fifteen people and possibly more,” she said with a little more enthusiasm than she should’ve had.

  “What’s so good about that?” I said to her, “I don’t know why you watch this stuff. There’s never anything nice happening in the world these days.”

  “Well, the Mythical Melee starts today,” Taylor said, “they’re supposed to be broadcasting the ceremony on this channel tonight.”

  Yeah, that’s cool. Instead of talking about the problems in the world, how about our news anchors take time away from the depressing stories and cover a competition with horrible CGI creatures roaming around. That sounds like a good idea.

  “The news will then cover something positive,” she said with a laugh.

  “And we could’ve been there live if somebody didn’t wait too long to order the tickets,” my oldest daughter, Margaret came out of nowhere. I didn’t even see her. Margaret is a younger version of my wife. Same sarcastic attitude and same hairstyle (their hair was always tied in a bun). There are plenty more similarities, but it would be tedious to list them all. She used to act just like Taylor, but as soon as she entered her teenage years, she changed. “They’re not that expensive you know. They’re only about twenty dollars each.”

  Well, that’s a hundred for our entire family to go, plus gas money to drive from Charlotte to New Jersey, hotel reservations, food in the stadium amongst other things. “I apologized for that a million times,” I said.

  “Well, the apologies, can’t cover up the wounds in our hearts,” Taylor said, dramatically covering her heart with both hands.

  “How about this? I’ll get the tickets early next year. I promise,” I said, holding my pinky out.

  “Okay, I’m going to believe you on this one,” Margaret said, wrapping her pinky around mine. This was the only difference between her and her mother. She believed me most of the time. “Don’t let us down again. I swear I won’t speak to you for another year, and you’ll make Taylor cry.”

  “It’s true,” Taylor nodded.

  “I will. I mean, I won’t… let you down,” I said, “I will get the tickets early, not let you down. You girls knew what I meant, right?” they nodded while I looked around. “Where’s Junior?” I was referring to my son, Bernard Jr. He was still a toddler at this point in time and I loved him more than anything in the world… except for my other two kids of course.

  “He’s with mom,” Taylor said.

  “And… where is she?” was my next question.

  “She said she was going to Aunt Linda’s house really quick,” Margaret said, “she left us some money for food because you were too hungover to cook breakfast.”

  “She’s really mad at you,” Taylor said with wide eyes, “this morning, she just looked at you and started cursing under her breath.”

  “She did?” I asked, “What’s wrong with her?”

  “She probably thinks you’ve forgotten your anniversary this year,” Margaret said, “I can’t blame her. After you forgot last year, I thought it was over.”

  “That can’t be the reason,” I shook my head, “our anniversary is Sunday.”

  “Today’s Saturday, dad,” Taylor said.

  Aw shit. I forgot again. She’s definitely going to be pissed if I forget to give her something this year. This is our twentieth anniversary, so it has to be perfect. Damn, I can’t believe I forgot all about our anniversary... again. What can I get her in only one day? It may be too early to schedule a vacation and besides, we both go back to work on Monday.

  “Are you just gonna sit there, thinking to yourself or are we going to the mall, because if we are, I’ve seen this nice sweater in there the other day,” Margaret said.

  “What do you need a sweater for? It’s eighty degrees outside,” I said, looking at the temperature in the corner of the news broadcast.

  “Today,” she said, “Dad, it’s still Spring and Spring equals sweater weather.”

  “Unless Global Warming continues, then Spring will be ‘naked’ weather,” Taylor giggled.

  “Okay, I’ll get you the sweater,” I said to Margaret, “but only if you help me pick out something that your mother would love. You two are pretty much the same person.”

  “Okay. Thanks,” Margaret leaned in and gave me a kiss on my forehead, “I’ll get ready.”

  “What about me?” Taylor asked, “I want something from the mall too.”

  “What would you like?” I asked her.

  “I don’t know yet,” Taylor said, “but we can look around when we get there.”

  That means we’ll be there forever. Last time Taylor said that, we were in the mall for two hours trying to decide if she wanted a pet rabbit or chinchilla (even though they are practically the same except the rabbit has bigger ears).

  “Okay,” I said, “but no pets this time.”

  “Okay,” Taylor smiled and jumped up from her seat in order to give me a kiss on the forehead too, “I’m going to go get ready.”

  “Didn’t you say ‘no pets’?” Margaret asked me when she saw Taylor holding a clear bag full of water and a fish inside, “what’s this?”

  “A fish is not a pet because you cannot pet a fish,” I laughed, “that’s what she told me.”

  “Pushover,” Margaret whispered, but I heard her and refused to respond out of slight embarrassment. Yes, I was a pushover when it came to my babies. Is that a crime?

  “Okay, now that I got you girls what you wanted, now’s time to pick out something for your mother.”

  “Dad, this is your twentieth anniversary. These presents have to represent two decades worth of love, so it might take a lot of work,” Margaret said, grinning and staring blankly into space. She was obviously deep in thought.

  “These presents?” I asked.

  “You didn’t think you were only giving her one, did you?” she said, staring at me with the same scowl my wife gave me the night before.

  Well, I did -to tell you the truth but I didn’t want to sound stupid. “Of course not,” I said.

  “Maybe you should give her shoes,” Taylor said, “that’s more than one thing. It’s really two things.”

  “If he gives her shoes, she’ll give him divorce papers,” Margaret said, “and you don’t want Mom and Dad to get a divorce, do you?”

  “No,” Taylor shook her head. Her eyes were wide, looking frightened.

  “Okay, then. We have to go big. How about the first present is jewelry- no, you gave her a new wedding ring two years ago. What about a- no, that was the fifteenth anniversary. Dang, Dad. What didn’t you give her?”

  “The moon and the stars,” I joked, “only the Earth,”

  “Then we better go get the moon and the stars,” Margaret said, pointing to one of the nearest stores.

  “Wow,” I said when I saw the gift Margaret had picked out, “Meagan’s going to love this.”

  “You�
��re welcome,” Margaret said with a grin.

  “Okay, now what’s next?” I asked.

  “Um… how about shoes?” Taylor said.

  “What is wrong with you and shoes today?” Margaret asked her.

  “I want shoes,” Taylor pouted.

  Margaret sighed when she saw Taylor walk out of the shoe store with a new pair of sneakers on her feet. Her old pair of shoes were inside the bag that I was now holding. “What the heck, Dad? I thought you were looking for something for Mom?”

  “She really wanted shoes,” I said.

  “He’s right,” Taylor said, jumping up and down in her new sneakers. “Thanks, dad. You’re the best daddy in the world.”

  “Careful…” I said, “don’t shake the fish.”

  “If she gets more than one present, I want something too,” Margaret said, “there’s this-”

  “Okay, but first we have to get your mother’s gift. We’ve burned a lot of time already,” I looked at my watch. It was 1:20 pm.

  “Can we get something to eat first?” Taylor asked, holding her stomach with her one free hand. “I’m starving.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Margaret said.

  Long story short, we burned another half hour inside the nearest Burger King or McDonald’s (Whichever one wants to pay me for advertisement) *laughs* but in all seriousness, I forgot which one. We’ve had yet to find another gift and I started to get worried. Taylor was just as worried as I was, but for a completely different reason.

  “What if I give it a girl name, and it’s a boy?” she said, “Dad, we have to go back to the shop and ask them if this fish is a boy or girl.”