The United States of Rebellia

by RJ Pritchett

  I didn’t know that Meagan and Jasper were sleeping together until about three months before the incident at the mall. That’s when I looked through his cell phone and saw their text messages. That dumb motherfucker should’ve at least deleted them before he came home, but he didn’t know that I would go through his phone. I saw the pictures she was sending him and the crazy conversations they had. I didn’t want to believe it at first. This has to be a prank or something. I thought that maybe Jasper knew I would look through his phone somehow and this was all a prank. When you’re in denial, you come up with a bunch of dumb excuses to avoid feeling the heartbreak.

  I never brought it up to him though. I just put the phone back where I found it exactly how I found it and he didn’t know a thing. He didn’t say anything about it to me, so that’s when my dumb theory about it being a prank was thrown out, but I still held on a little bit of hope. He can’t be cheating on me… with her? No. Don’t be ridiculous, Vivian. She’s married for God’s sake.

  Call me crazy, but I followed him to her house one night. They shared a kiss in the living room and he followed her upstairs. I looked up at the windows above and my guess is that the children were either not there or fast asleep. I had to have evidence that I could shove in his stupid face, so I decided to climb up this nearby tree. It already had pieces of wood nailed to it, making it easier to climb. My guess is that a treehouse was once on the giant branch that I sat on.

  “Stupid motherfuckers didn’t even put the blinds down,” I whispered to myself while pulling out my phone. I saw the time. It was almost 1:30, but I didn’t care. My only mission was to get photographic evidence of this man. Before I was able to snap the first picture, I saw her looking out of the window, I shuffled, trying not to be seen but she didn’t see me. She was looking down at someone walking towards the house. It was a man. It was easy to notice because he looked up towards me when he heard the leaves making noise after I moved. I couldn’t see him clearly while trying to hide, but the surprised look on the bitch’s face suggested that this man was her husband. Yup, that was her husband alright. I knew it once I got a good look at him. She put on a pink robe and ran downstairs, and I watched Jasper gather his things and make his way into the closet.

  The next few minutes were nothing but silence -aside from the annoying crickets chirping out there. I waited, hoping to see something worth noting. Maybe she was finally going to get caught. Nope. She didn’t. I eventually saw her coming back into the room, slamming the bedroom door shut, and locking it. I don’t know what happened, but she looked a little upset when she came back into the room. She must’ve picked an argument with him. Damn. That bitch was sneaky as fuck. How do you cheat on your husband while you two are in the same house? She’s either really brave or really stupid. Shit, her husband must’ve been even stupider to allow that to happen.

  When Jasper realized the coast was clear, he crept out of the closet with a smile on his face that made me want to drive a sledgehammer through it.

  She kissed him a few times on the neck and pushed him onto the bed. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but they were most likely whispering anyways. She turned on the TV. My guess is so nobody outside the room could hear what was going on. I snapped a few pictures, making sure the flash was off. I caught a few good ones before one of them turned off the lights. It was useless after that, but I got all the pictures I needed, so I just climbed down the tree.

  I thought about knocking on the door and telling her husband everything, but I ended up not doing it. I don’t know why. Maybe if I would have done that, everything that happened after would’ve been avoided. Instead, I just went home, waiting for him to come.

  I kept a .22 pistol in a safe place where not even Jasper would look. That gun called to me as soon as I stormed into the house with tears streaming down my face and blood pumping rapidly from my broken heart. I held that gun in my hand for hours murdering this man over and over in my head. I called my friend Kya, and she told me to calm down. I eventually did… until that call ended, then the thought of those two together just kept replaying in my mind. I was a fool. I called my younger brother, and that call was the exact opposite of Kya’s. My brother hated when I would cry, and this was no exception. He riled me up with his attitude and aggression. Only my brother would offer to come over and fight my boyfriend for me at about three in the morning.

  I hung up the phone when I heard Jasper’s keys jiggling when he went to unlock the door. I tossed the phone onto the bed and put the gun back where I found it. I rushed out of the room to see him, my mind was racing at that moment thinking about how to react when I saw him. I didn’t have the gun in my hands so shooting him on sight the way I practiced wasn’t happening.

  My mind when blank when I saw him, that confused look he gave me made me forget everything. It’s like… my mind really went completely blank. It’s gone blink now, just remembering that moment.

  “What are you doing up?” he asked.

  “Where were you?” I asked.

  “Oh, I was just out with the boys,” he said, walking gingerly.

  “This late at night?” I asked.

  “Um… yeah. It’s only three-ten. I left early according to everybody else. I was the party pooper. My body is so sore, right now. Never again, Babe.”

  I wanted to punch him in his head as he limped past me. I wanted to kick him in that Charlie horse that he probably had. As I laid down in the same bed as him with his arms wrapped tightly around me… I wanted to sneak off. I wanted to tell him that I was heading to the bathroom, but really heading to my secret spot to get my gun or heading to the bathroom for a knife. He wouldn’t see it coming, and he would pay for what he did to me.

  Call me stupid, I didn’t do any of that. I just sat there, finding it hard to drift off to sleep with my mind racing at a hundred miles an hour. I do know that at that exact moment, I would have sliced his Adam's apple if I had a knife in my hand. Too bad I didn’t.

  I finally found sleep when the sun rose, but when I rose from my sleep… Jasper was gone. I checked my phone to see about five missed calls from my brother, so I called him back.

  “Yo, what the hell? Are you good?” my brother said as soon as he answered.

  “I’m good,” I said, thinking about Jasper. I texted him and he told me that he was with his friend Meagan, picking out a gift for her twentieth anniversary that was coming up.

  Long story short, my brother came over later that day and told me that he was going to kill Jasper after what he did. I tried to talk him out of it, but he already hung up and was on his way.

  Okay, so we ended up driving to the mall, my brother wanted to confront him, but I knew his intentions mirrored the intentions I had earlier that morning. He had a gun of his own, being a police officer and all. Thinking back, I could’ve prevented all of this, but I didn’t. He convinced me that Jasper needed to pay the ultimate price for what he did. I agreed with that, but I ain’t want my brother to lose his job or get locked up over something so dumb. I even offered to do it if I could find the right moment… he took me up on that offer.

  We got to the mall in about twenty minutes and my brother and I split up. I was looking for him, but I mainly was walking around window shopping. I saw this nice… never mind. Anyway, I saw Jasper. He was staring at a couple of clothed mannequins. When I looked at him, I immediately looked around for cameras and the eyes of any witnesses. Seeing them together brought that rage back. I was angry at the sight of them together, knowing what I knew.

  When I saw the coast was clear, I aimed my small unregistered pistol at him as discreetly as I could, but a voice stopped me just before I could pull the trigger.

  “Mom, look at my new fish!”

  Damn. That little girl messed it up. I tucked the gun away into the sweater I had wrapped around my arm and continued acting like I was looking at the map of the mall, but I was looking at what was going on through the side of my sunglasses. I saw her daughters and her husband approachi
ng them and a smile spread across my face. Uh oh. Bitch is about to get caught. But I was wrong. My smile faded away completely when I saw her husband shaking Jasper’s hand. What the hell is going on? She must’ve told him that Jasper was just a friend or something, or she probably brought up that time we all had from that wedding about two years prior. That’s really the only explanation I can think of. Either that or her husband was dim-witted as all hell.

  I turned away for a quick second and saw mall security walking in my direction. I remained calm until they passed and by the time that happened, Jasper and his married mistress were already on the move. I kept following them, trying not to be spotted.

  I finally found the right moment. I knew who my target was. I was going to shoot her. She was the reason for all of this. Whether she knew about Jasper and I’s relationship or not, she’s married her damn self. She broke up my potential family and she’s risking her own family. But Jasper knew better. He knew what he was doing and thought he could get away with it. He lied to me, cheated on me, played me for a fool and my foolish behind was still too stupid in love to leave him.

  It was then when I decided to shoot both of them. I didn’t even tell Jasper I was pregnant, but I didn’t want anything to do with him. I’d rather raise this baby alone than with a lying, cheating, whore of a man. I didn’t really take time to aim because I didn’t want to be seen. After the gunshots went off, I dropped to the floor, acting as if I was avoiding the gunshots along with everyone else while I tucked the gun away into my purse. People around me dropped to the floor as well while others started running in all different directions, making this the perfect camouflage. I saw people running and I heard people screaming. When I got up to my feet and heard the bitch screaming, I decided to join the group of people that were running. I had to get out of that mall… and fast. While running, I saw a couple of security guards tackle a man to the ground. I almost stopped, but then I realized it wasn’t my brother, so I kept on running. Better that guy than me.

  I got away, and I was thrilled. My brother got away from the mall safely as well. I was content, but when that adrenaline wore off, I almost vomited. I just killed a man. I missed the bitch that was with him, but I killed someone. I killed Jasper. I saw the bullet go right through him and his body dropped right before my own body dropped to act like I was dodging any potential bullets. That much I saw. It only happened in a quick instant, but in that quick instant, I knew he was dead. Someone I loved is dead and I am the reason he’s dead. I murdered him. Everything was coming to me all at once. The incident ate at my guilty conscience later as I was getting calls saying my boyfriend was pronounced dead earlier. I had on a bit of disguise, so my actual image wouldn’t be on camera if I was pointed out, and the gun I used wasn’t registered or in my possession when I arrived home. I think I was inconspicuous with the gun anyway. That small area we were in had no cameras… at least that’s what I think… I hoped. I’ve been in that mall countless times, so I knew. I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t one hundred percent positive. Jail was never an option for me.

  Another disguise I had on was crying and pretending to be in shock once I got the news. The tears were real though because I knew that at that moment, there was no turning back. I did what I did and if somehow, I was arrested, then that’s just something that I… I had to deal with. I would have no choice but to deal with the consequences of my actions.

  When the police came to visit, they assured me that someone was already in custody. I was nervous when they arrived but when they told me that, all the nerves went away. I cried to them, told them how devastated I was to hear this. I cried some more, telling them how I felt partly responsible for what happened to him by not stopping him from going to the mall that day. I revealed my pregnancy to them and everything, and I also shared my fear of raising this baby alone and having to explain to my child that their father was murdered. I was playing my role, and playing it well. I sounded remorseful, mostly because I was. I was scared of what would happen to my unborn child if any signs pointed to me. At that moment, if I could’ve gone back and changed everything, I would’ve in a heartbeat. But life doesn’t work that way. What’s done is done. There’s no reset button.

  I wasn’t arrested or even targeted… for some reason, the guy that the police had in custody admitted to shooting and killing Jasper. Cops apparently checked the footage and couldn’t point to no one else. The reason he was arrested in the first place is that he was spotted with a .22 pistol on him. I was just as confused as you are right now. The case was ‘solved,’ and I was supposed to be happy when I got the news, but it made me feel even guiltier. Another man was probably forced to throw his life away because of something I did. He probably was scared and tricked into admitting to something he didn’t do.

  I attended the funeral that I helped Jasper’s family prepare for. She came too. At that moment, it took everything in me to not choke her to death. I would’ve happily served twenty-five to life for her… never mind. The cause of our problems was lying in that casket ten feet away from where I sat, eyeing her. As far as I was concerned, we had no issues anymore.

  “I’m so sorry for your loss,” she said, hugging me and crying in my ear, “he was just talking about picking up an engagement ring for you… I can only imagine how you’re feeling about this whole situation…he was- he was a great man.”

  “He was,” I said. Was is the key word here. He was a great man when I met him. He was everything I wanted in a man. Smart, funny, charismatic, nice… the whole package. But that was when he was trying to prove to my friend Kya that he was the man for me. He soon got in Kya’s good graces and after a while, he changed. Not too much, but he became too busy to do certain things… I now knew that he was out with a bunch of different women all those times. And all of those women, were at this funeral too giving me side eyes and smiling when we made eye contact. Fake. There was a lot of fake love and sympathy I was getting that day. Meagan was only adding to that.

  She looked at me strangely after our hug… even when she knew I was looking, she twisted her face in confusion, “Are you pregnant?” she asked. I nodded without saying a word as Jasper’s niece came over to give me a hug, “Wow. What a bitter-sweet moment,” she said, smiling. “Congratulations,” she hugged me again.

  “Thank you,” I said, smiling as well. I thought about holding back, but the words eventually came out. “… Now Bernard ‘junior’ will have a new half-brother or half-sister.”

  That definitely caught her off guard. I could tell because of the way she looked. Her stupid face was in shock like I just punched her in the stomach. That kid was definitely Jasper’s son and not her husband’s. Anybody could be able to tell just by looking at him. It’s a shame how the husband didn’t see that. That thought made me believe that he really was dim-witted. People hadn’t started to talk yet, but eventually, they would. I wondered what they would do when they find out the boy isn’t Bernard’s son? Like, do they change his name or what? Will they get divorced? Probably not because I think her husband was a sucker. He let his wife cheat on him and turned a blind eye when it was happening right under his nose… similar to me when I first found out Jasper was cheating, and the second time… and the third time…

  “… I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said. That look of confusion remained on her face.

  “Look, Meagan. I know. Jasper told me everything about three or four months ago. He told me that he was a hundred percent positive that your son is his. When he first told me that he was fucking you, I was hurt. I wanted to go straight to wherever you lived and pull your fucking hair out,” I chuckled to bring some sort of light to my words. Tears were starting in my eyes and my voice was breaking at just the thought of them together.

  “We were just friend-”

  “After a while, I was past whatever you and he had going on behind my back,” I said, cutting her off, “it took a lot, but I moved past it. He told me about the boy, and I was hurt. We spok
e all the time about how we were going to become parents together. I was going to bear his first child, but you swooped in and stole that from me. I know, he knew, and you know that that boy is Jasper’s son, and eventually… your husband will know… your beautiful daughters will know… and that boy will know when he looks in the mirror and sees another man. A man that’s not Bernard. I’m curious to see how you will handle it. How you’ll handle the pain and heartbreak of hurting the people around you... you’ll lose everything you have just like I lost everything. Karma’s a bitch, right?”

  Meagan said nothing else to me. She twisted her face and walked away. I believe she left the funeral entirely.

  After the funeral, I broke down. I caused all of this. His mom damn near jumped into the casket with her son… I killed him. It all started to hit me again. I’m a fucking murderer. I took this man’s life and hurt everybody around him. The pastor spent a lot of time calling my action senseless and ignorant and told us that whoever did this will one day deal with the consequences. I wondered when that one day would be. I was paranoid every night. Like the SWAT team would break my door every night to come to get me. I thought about moving away, but wouldn’t that be suspicious? I didn’t want any form of suspicion. I wondered if the casing found would match my gun and not the gun of the guy they arrested, but I got rid of that thing immediately after, giving it to my brother so he can get rid of it… they couldn’t find it -yet trace it to me because it wasn’t registered so I should’ve felt secure… but I wasn’t.

  All the stressing and paranoia wasn’t good for me because… I eventually miscarried. My doctor told me to calm down and eat right, but I never did. I was hurt once I saw the blood… it was- that miscarriage put me in an even worse state mentally. I never left the house. I didn’t want to answer any phone calls. I didn’t want to be around anyone. I was cursed. I got away with murder, but not really. God punished me by taking my unborn child away from me. That’s what I thought. I was broken. Jasper’s family was heartbroken as well. I mean this was supposed to be the only piece of Jasper they had left in this world… little did they know that Jasper’s first-born son was already like two years old.