Little Squirrels Can Climb Tall Trees

by Michael Murphy

  I stared at the man with utter disbelief that transformed into unbelievable respect. “You are absolutely amazing.”

  “Actually, I think the word is ‘awesome’. Remember, I am an awesome man.”

  “Wise words. You should listen to whoever told you that. Sounds like a smart guy.”

  We snuggled together for a moment, enjoying a quick kiss before returning to whatever task we were each doing that evening—one of the many benefits of living together was that we could snuggle whenever we felt the mood strike us. A moment later Kyle looked up at me and said softly, “I love you, Jo-Jo, my little squirrel.”

  “Love you too, big guy. Can we maybe drop the ‘little’ part?”

  “From my perspective, everyone is little.”

  “How about ‘big, ferocious, man-eating squirrel’?” I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try.

  “Man-eating? Hmmmm. I think I’d need to gather some data first to verify your claims.”

  “I can oblige.”

  “I know you can. But I need to finish this first. I only need a few more minutes.”

  I didn’t know what he was doing, but I could see that whatever it was, it involved his calendar. I moved over behind the man as he sat at the table, put my arms around Kyle’s shoulders, and asked, “What are you working on, or is it private?”

  “I have no secrets from you. I’m checking out my schedule for the next few months. I got notice today that I have some annual leave that I have to use or lose by the end of the calendar year. I’ve never had ‘annual leave’ before, so I hadn’t thought anything about taking time off. I’ve been just focused on work.”

  “How much flexibility are they giving you about when you can take it off?”

  “Not much, as it turns out. I’m apparently junior in the leave-taking priority schedule, so I have to work around everyone else’s schedule. Here’s what I’ve got,” he said as he held up his calendar. “There’s a two-week block available in early November and then another two-week block in early December.”

  “No Thanksgiving or Christmas?”

  “Sure. Just not for me until I’ve got more seniority in the pecking order. And besides, if the schedule they’ve got me on holds true, I’m going to be off on Christmas Day. I have to work Thanksgiving Day, which sucks. But then at least I’m off the next day and all that weekend.”

  “Hmmm. We can work with that.”

  Kyle looked up at me with a suspicious look on his face. “What are you thinking about, Jo-Jo? I can always tell when you’re plotting something.”

  “Who? Me? Never! I am a pure, innocent, demure little creature!”

  “Talk!” he ordered, not buying a word I was saying. Neither was I, for that matter.

  “Okay. I’ve had all of thirty seconds to plan this out, but I have two ideas. One, I need to drive up to Vermont to see my family for a couple of days, and it would be fantastic to have you come along with me on that drive and have a chance to meet everybody.”

  “You want me to meet your family?” he said as if it were akin to sacrificing baby seals or something equally hideous.

  “Yes. I want you to meet my family. They’re all dying to meet you.”

  “How do they know about me?” he asked with a look of utter appalled disbelief on his face.

  “Because I’ve told them, doofus! I’ve told everybody about you. I practically shouted it from the rooftops. My mom can’t wait to meet you. My dad said he wants to show you all of his maple syrup facilities—in Dad-speak that’s really a high honor—and my sister said it was about time I stopped being a fucking whore and settled down with a nice guy. She loves your smile as much as I do.”

  “Wait wait wait! How has she ever seen my smile? Or my anything? Has she been stalking us or something?”

  “I sent them a picture. Remember the night we were out for Italian and I asked the guy in the booth next to us to take our picture? It came out great, so I sent a copy to them by e-mail. My sister thinks you’re sexy as hell!”

  Kyle simply stared at me for a moment or two. “You’ve really told your family that you’re gay?”

  “Oh, they’ve known I sucked dick for twenty years. I think my mother knew before I had figured it out. They’re good people.” I thought quickly, deciding it was time to pull out the big guns. “And remember—my folks make maple syrup… and other maple products. Maple candy among them. Have you ever had maple candy? Oh my God, it is fucking fantastic!”

  “Maple syrup?” Kyle asked, hesitantly considering the idea. “The real stuff?”

  “The real, honest-to-God stuff. Straight out of the trees each spring and into the sap arch for cooking and bottling.”

  “Where do they get the sap?”

  “They’ve got a couple hundred acres of sugar maples that they own, or own the rights to, that supply the raw material. My mother looks forward to making her pancakes for you so that you can taste their maple syrup, even though she knows you’ve already tasted it here.”

  It was obvious to me that Kyle didn’t know how to process all of this new information. It was all so absolutely contrary to his family. From everything he had told me, he could never have such an open and honest conversation with his family. I could only guess at how sad he must feel. I know how bad it would make me feel if my family couldn’t know about the real me, the man I had become, the man I was so proud of becoming, not to mention the man who was such an important part of my life.

  Kyle took a deep breath and simply agreed. “Okay. Let’s do it. It’s all new to me, but somehow it feels right at the same time. Is there a hotel near them that we can book?”

  “No need to. My folks live in this huge old country house with a gazillion bedrooms, so we’ll just take one of them, probably my old room.”

  “Do they have a room I can use too?”

  “No. You and I will stay in our room. We will sleep together in our room in our bed. We are together. We are a couple. That’s what we are. That’s what they expect. And you don’t want to know the grilling I would get if we slept in separate beds in separate rooms.”

  On this Kyle seemed really doubtful, but he said, “Okay.”

  “Great. But that’s not all. I was thinking that that would only be a couple of nights. I thought maybe we could drive back here and then fly down to Key West for a week so you can relax and get some sun. You’re starting to look as white as Casper the Friendly Ghost—you could use a little sun to give you a nice golden brown color.”

  Kyle looked—well, I don’t know exactly how I would describe his look. I couldn’t read the man’s face. “Okay. I need some words to interpret.”

  “Ummm….”

  “Start anywhere.”

  “Flying to Florida.” He closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, clearly about to say something profound. When he spoke, the words he gave me were words I would never, ever, in a million years have expected. “I’ve never been on an airplane before.”

  I just looked at him for a few seconds. My brain was processing his words, not believing them. They were not remotely what I had expected. I had thought that maybe he didn’t like Key West, or he didn’t like the beach, or something like that. But “never been on an airplane”? No, I never expected that.

  “What! You’ve never flown on an airplane?”

  “Never. I’ve never been anywhere that you can’t drive. And even then I’ve only ever gone from Oklahoma to Boston and then to here.”

  “Holy fuck! This is huge! This is fucking huge!”

  “I know it’s bad. How bad? Are you really disappointed in me?” Kyle asked uncertainly.

  “No! This is huge good! Oh, yeah, we’re going to Florida. We’re gonna go romp naked on the beach—well, maybe not on your first trip—and have a fucking fantastic time. Key West is awesome.”

  “Hey, I thought I was awesome.”

  “An awesome place for an awesome man!”

  “And I have to fly to get there?”

  “Yes, you do. Yo
u can drive from here to Key West, but it would take something like thirty-six hours, and it is a really, really dull drive. The flight is something like three hours—probably less. And then, after that. Where do you want to go? Is there some place you’ve always dreamed of going? Someplace that is sort of your idea of paradise, of Nirvana, of Eden?”

  “Promise not to laugh at me?” he asked, very hesitantly.

  “Probably.”

  “Probably?” he said, playfully swatting my arm. “Now that’s love. Probably?”

  “Okay. I promise. Where?”

  “Hawaii.”

  “Why would I laugh about that? Hawaii is a great place. I’ve been six times and loved every one of those trips. Why don’t we go when you get a week off in December? I’ll book it.”

  “You’ve been to Hawaii? Six times? Wait! My mama always said I was too big to fly. That my long legs wouldn’t fit in an airplane seat.”

  “You could fit, not comfortably in a coach seat, but that’s why I’m booking a seat up front in first class so you’ve got enough room for your legs.”

  “They have different classes on airplanes?”

  “Yes. Trust me. I’ll take care of everything.”

  “Ummm. I hate to be a spoilsport, but I’ve got one other problem: I don’t have any money. Everything I earn goes to pay student loans.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll cover this.”

  “You shouldn’t have to do that!”

  “I don’t have to do anything. I’m doing it because I want to. Call it long-term strategic planning. Someday you’re going to be a fabulously wealthy Manhattan doctor who earns boatloads of money. That day you’ll be flying me first class off to Italy for the weekend or somewhere else exotic, and I’ll work hard to help you spend all that money.”

  Kyle laughed with delight. “I like your thinking. Yes, I’ll fly you anywhere you want to go—once I escape this crushing debt and have a boatload of money.”

  “Deal. So go ahead and request those four weeks off in November and December, and I’ll explore some options for flights and hotels and so on and go over them with you before I book them. Okay?”

  “Yeah! I guess I’m finally gonna get to go on an airplane like regular people,” he said, almost like he couldn’t believe what he was saying.

  “You’re not regular people, dude—you’re awesome!”

  “I am, aren’t I? But the only reason I’m awesome is because of you, babe. You made me awesome.”

  “You bet your sweet, awesome ass you are! And I didn’t make you awesome—you already were awesome. All I did was help you to see that you were awesome. And I’m clearly not done yet. And I’m gonna show you the world, babe! This is just the beginning. We’re going to Europe. We’ll have tea in London and shop at Harrods before going to the theater. We’ll go to the Louvre in Paris. We’ll go see the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam. We’ll watch the bullfights in Madrid.

  “And Italy! Oh, Italy! There’s so much I want to show you in Italy. Rome, Naples, Milano, Pisa, Venice—oh, Venezia! We’ll rent a farmhouse in Tuscany and do daytrips to Sienna and a bunch of old hill towns that dot the countryside. We’ll go to tiny little family wineries throughout the hills of Tuscany, and you’ll taste some kickass wines.

  “We’ll visit Athens. We’ll spend time in Istanbul, Turkey, where we’ll have breakfast in Europe and lunch in Asia. Where the New World meets the Old World. We’ll sail the Greek isles—Santorini, Samos, Mykonos….

  “We’ll visit the pyramids of Egypt. We’ll ride camels and go see the Sphinx. We’ll visit Alexandria, Luxor, take a boat down the Nile. We’ll go to Petra in Jordan. We’ll go to the artificial islands in Dubai. We’ll go see the Taj Mahal in India. And we’ve got to go to Asia. You’re gonna love Asia! We’ll start in Thailand. I love Thailand. We’ll go to Bangkok. The city is freaking crazy, but you’ve got to see it. We’ll fly up to Chiang Mai in the north, where we’ll ride elephants in the mountains. We’ll fly south to the peninsula and lie on one of the many gorgeous beaches that cover the area.

  “We’ve got to go to Hong Kong and Macau. We’ve got to visit mainland China. We’ll walk the Great Wall and see the Terra-cotta Warriors. We’ll visit Taipei in Taiwan. And Australia and New Zealand. There is so much to see in Australia—the place is so unbelievably huge. I want to take you to the big rock in the center of the country—you won’t believe it. And New Zealand is equally big in other ways. Both so different and so amazing to visit.

  “And then we still have all of South America and Central America. We’ll cruise through the Caribbean, we’ll sail through the Panama Canal, we’ll hike in little out-of-the-way Central American villages where the jungle seems to go on forever.

  “You’re gonna love ’em all, babe, and I’m gonna get to show them all to you. I’m gonna give you the world, babe. You’re my awesome guy!”

  Kyle was speechless. He threw his arms around me and simply hugged me tight, which was good, because I’d been talking so fast I needed to breathe. Kyle kissed the top of my head and said, “I love you, Squirrel.”

  “I love you too, big guy!”

  “Every day I thank God that you came into my life. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, that could ever have happened to me. You are a gift from the heavens above.”

  “Wow! You keep that up and I’m gonna cry! And I don’t look very butch and macho when I’m bawling my eyes out,” I warned him.

  “Well, we can’t have that,” Kyle said. “I guess I’ll have to tickle you.”

  “Don’t you even think about it!” I threatened, pulling away.

  “I’ll try to hold off, then,” he said with a devious little smile.

  That evening I did some research online and called a couple of friends who had been to Key West more recently than I had to get some recommendations. In a relatively short time, I returned to Kyle with a fairly detailed itinerary, including flights, two possible hotels, and a list of activities for our time there.

  The next evening I added to that by presenting an even more elaborate set of options for Hawaii, including multiple flight options, numerous hotel options, even numerous islands! Kyle actually hadn’t realized that Hawaii was more than one place, more than one island. When I explained to him that Hawaii was actually many islands in a chain, the place just became that much more magical and enticing for him.

  Since he didn’t really have the knowledge base to make decisions on the Hawaii trip, he asked me what I would pick. I mapped out a complete itinerary that would take us to four islands over ten days with hotel options on each.

  “Who could say no to that?”

  “So it’s good?”

  “It’s good. I’m really going to Hawaii!”

  “Yes, dude, you’re really going to Hawaii—and I’m gonna take you there.”

  With Kyle’s approval of the outline, I jumped back on my laptop and started to make reservations and buy tickets. Kyle watched me as I feverishly typed and clicked and entered my credit card information time and time again. I caught him looking at me a couple of times, but I was making great progress, so I didn’t want to stop until I had everything nailed down. Kyle probably thought it was going well since I was smiling periodically, but he didn’t dare interrupt to ask.

  “Okay!” I shouted with great gusto. “We’re going to Hawaii!” I reviewed with Kyle the dates, flights, and times as well as the hotels I had booked on each island. I had downloaded maps for each island and showed him those maps, pointing out where we would be staying as well as some of the sites I wanted to show him on each island. By the end of the review, Kyle was nearly as excited as I was.

  “I can’t wait!” Kyle said, and I could tell that he meant what he said.

  Chapter 14

  IT WAS a little later that evening when Kyle’s cell phone rang. I was reading on the couch, and Kyle grabbed the call on the first ring, so I didn’t pay much attention to the call. The phone rang occasionally, but almost always it was something f
or work. I tuned in to the call when I noticed Kyle’s voice take on a certain edge. I heard him say, “I can’t talk now. I’ll see you tomorrow like we planned. Okay?” And as quickly as it started, the call was finished.

  A bit suspicious (okay, a lot suspicious), I asked, “What was that?”

  “Just a meeting I’ve got to go to tomorrow.”

  “It’s a little unusual for someone to be calling at ten at night to talk about work, don’t you think?”

  “Not really.”

  “No? Do you call a lot of people at ten at night to talk about work meetings?”

  Kyle couldn’t meet my eye. All the signals were there—something was up.

  “Kyle! What is going on?”

  “It’s not a work meeting. It’s my mother. She’s here in New York and wants to talk to me.”

  “Your mother is in New York.” Statement. Not question. “Interesting. Spur of the moment trip?”

  “No. Her bus got in earlier tonight.”

  “Bus?”

  “She took the Greyhound.”

  “And you didn’t tell me about this because…?”

  “I didn’t want to bother you with my crazy mother. She’s not like your mother. She wouldn’t welcome you with open arms sight unseen. She’d break out her Bible and start trying to cast out demons or some such thing. There is no way in this world that I am ever subjecting you to my mother!”

  “Okay,” I said, understanding. “But what if I want to be there to support you?”

  “You can’t,” he said emphatically. “It just wouldn’t work.”

  “So, how long is she in town?”

  “She came as part of a church women’s group. They’re here for four nights to see all the sights.”

  “Including you.”

  “Of course! Have you seen me? I’m quite a sight! One of the towering monuments of NYC.”

  By this point I was off the couch and was standing behind him at the table. I simply leaned over, kissed him, looked him in the eye, took his hand, and said, “I’m sorry, babe. I think I understand. Even though I can’t be there with you, know that I’m hugging you and holding my arms around you and sending you all kinds of love and support to deal with her.”