Suite Dreams

by Rachel Hawthorne

  The reporter laughed. I thought if the camera wasn’t on her, she might have pinched his cheek.

  “How did it feel to get rescued this morning?”

  “Bloody marvelous.”

  She shoved the microphone into my face. “Did you have any doubts that you would be rescued?”

  “No,” psycho-girl trilled.

  Then the reporter moved back to speak into the camera, but she didn’t have anything to say that I wanted to hear.

  “I don’t even remember her asking me a question.”

  “You could have used a little makeup,” Mel said.

  I glared at her.

  She held up her hands. “Sorry, I’m just saying.”

  “And what was that, how did you feel about getting rescued? How did she think we felt?”

  “I think they’re just looking for questions with simple answers for their sound bites,” Jude said.

  “How did you manage to look so good, and I looked like…crap?”

  “You did not. You looked like a survivor.”

  A survivor who wanted to weep. I really needed some political scandal to come up that would reduce my air time.

  “While we’re here at the lodge, are we going to ski?” Mel asked.

  Just the thought of more activity wore me out.

  “You’re nuts, you know that?” Boomer said fondly. “I’m ready to get home.”

  At the same time, Jude and I both said, “Me too.”

  When we got back to the dorm, Jude crashed on Sheli’s bed.

  I had some major catching up to do on schoolwork. Paul had given us the night off to recover from “the ordeal”—thank you thank you thank you. So I had an unexpected block of time to study, and did I ever need it.

  I’d emailed a couple of students I knew and gotten notes from the classes I’d missed.

  I was sitting at my desk reading some of the material the professor had posted for my human genetics course—the one with a midterm waiting for me in less than twenty-four hours.

  The problem was that my gaze kept drifting over to Jude stretched out, facedown on the bed with the pillow over his head. He was still in the lodge sweats, but I found him irresistible.

  What baffled me was that I was never distracted when I’d been studying with Rick. Never.

  And all Jude was doing was sleeping. He didn’t even snore. He didn’t twitch. He wasn’t restless. He was dead to the world, but so not dead to me. I just couldn’t stop looking at him, couldn’t stop wanting to walk over there and curl around him. Hold him, let him hold me.

  What was this madness?

  Was it survivor’s infatuation? Was it some sort of mental disorder?

  I don’t know how long I studied him instead of my notes. But I noticed a subtle shifting in his body, like a long, lazy stretch. A hand came up and tossed the pillow aside. Slowly he rolled into a sitting position and yawned. He grinned at me. “G’day.”

  “More like g’night.”

  “Really?”

  He looked at the window. It was dark outside. Almost dark in here. Only the lamp at my desk was casting out light.

  “I can’t believe I slept that long.”

  He got up and sauntered over to the desk. “So, how ’bout I ring up Boomer and see if he and Mel want to meet us at that club? We could get a bite to eat—”

  “I can’t.”

  He raised a brow. “You can’t eat?”

  “I can’t go out.”

  “Well, then we could call in a pizza, right?”

  “No, I can’t do anything with you. I’ve got a midterm to study for and”—I picked up a paper and tossed it down—“a research paper to write.”

  Jude turned the paper around. “‘Sexuality in the Victorian Age.’ I thought they were all repressed back then.”

  “I guess I’ll find out if I can ever get to the library to research those sources the professor listed.”

  “We could—”

  I cut him off before he could make any other suggestions. “No, my number one priority is studying for the exam. Do you know how much time I’ve lost this week?” I picked up my time schedule, the dry-erase board that gave me two weeks at a glance. “I’m hours behind.”

  “But if you took a break, came back refreshed—”

  “No, Jude. I can’t.” I pressed my hands to my head. “What was Rick thinking when he sent you that email? He knew I was going to be studying and wouldn’t have time to take care of problems.” I knew I sounded a little mean, but I was so stressed out I couldn’t help it. I sighed, gave Jude a wry smile. “Go have fun.”

  I wrote down my cell phone number. “Call me when you need to get back in.”

  “Yeah, all right. I didn’t mean to be a bother.”

  Oh, it hurt my heart when he said that.

  “You’re not. It’s me, not you.” I groaned. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

  I got up, went around the desk, and hugged him. “Tonight I need to do this. So just have a good time.”

  “Right. What time are you going to bed? I don’t want to wake you.”

  “Don’t even worry about it. I’ll be up all night.”

  When he left, I felt this strange urge to cry. Maybe it was an accumulation of the past few days, getting lost in the woods, knowing that my perfect G.P.A. was on the line. I couldn’t goof off at all if I wanted to go to med school.

  Jude had made me forget, and as lovely as it had been, now reality was about to bite me on the butt.

  Jude didn’t stay gone long. Maybe an hour tops. He brought back a bucket of chicken and insisted that I eat.

  “No one can study with an empty stomach,” he’d said.

  He had a point. I’d decided that I could allot twenty minutes to wolfing down chicken that would probably clog my arteries.

  But the twenty turned into an hour as I listened to him telling me stories about his mates back home. I thought maybe he was feeling a little homesick. Or maybe I was.

  “I’ve gotta get back in there,” I said finally, unfolding myself off the couch.

  “Is there something I can do to help?”

  “Nope. No one can study for me except me. I’ll get it done.” I took a step toward the bedroom and stopped. “I won’t be able to do this next week. Play with you, I mean.”

  “All study and no play will make Lys a dull girl,” he teased.

  I wanted to tease back. Instead I said somberly, “Then I’ll have to be a dull girl.”

  Chapter 15

  I walked out of the classroom with an immense sense of relief. It only intensified when I saw Jude leaning against the wall.

  Grinning, he shoved himself away from the tile. It was then that I noticed the bouquet of flowers. If hearts could weep with joy, mine would have.

  I quickened my pace and met him halfway. Students were making their way around us, some staring as they went by, but I didn’t care.

  “How do you think you did?” he asked.

  Almost giddy, I smiled brightly and nodded. “All right. I think I aced it. My four-point-oh is safe.”

  “That’s great. Absolutely great.” He held out the flowers. “These are for you.”

  I took them from him, smelled the roses. You shouldn’t have.”

  “It was the least I could do after all you’ve done for me when you had all this on your mind. I’m really sorry.”

  “No, it’s all right.”

  “No, it’s not. I wanted to tell you in person.”

  Someone knocked my shoulder in passing. Jude scowled, took my arm, and led me over to the windows that overlooked the campus.

  “Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I’m not going to be in your way anymore. I found another place to crash.”

  I fought to hang on to my smile, not to reveal the devastation I was feeling with those few words. “Oh.”

  “With a bed actually. At Boomer’s. Don’t know why I didn’t think to ask him sooner. It makes sense. He’s got an apartment. Look.” He reached into
his pocket and pulled out a key as though it was a ticket to the premiere of a Russell Crowe movie. “I can come and go as I please. It’s perfect.”

  I swallowed hard. Or I would have if I had any saliva, but my mouth had gone dry. So I just nodded.

  “You’ve got what? Five more days of classes?” he asked.

  I nodded again, and realized that I’d lost the smile.

  “So maybe when you’re finished we can go out for a pint, well, not beer, of course, but you know—Coke, Dr Pepper, water, whatever you want.”

  “That…that’d be nice.”

  “And I’ll see you at work.”

  I shook my head. “Well, not tonight. I asked for the night off. I have to get that paper written. She’s extended the due date until tomorrow at six A.M.”

  “Well, good luck with it. I have no doubt you’ll blow her away.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I’ll see you around.”

  He walked away then.

  And I let him go.

  All the way back to the dorm, I kept telling myself that everything had worked out for the best. I could get my paper written without any interruptions. I could get back on my study track. I could get back on schedule.

  And the decision was a no-brainer for Jude. With the key he had independence. He didn’t have to sneak around like an unwanted guest.

  But the suite seemed so quiet when I walked into it. Somehow diminished. Boring.

  I screwed the top off a wide-mouthed water bottle and put the flowers in there. I really needed to get a proper vase.

  I grabbed a bag of chips, one of the remaining ones Jude had bought, and wondered vaguely why he hadn’t taken them with him. He should have. He paid for them.

  I was barely thinking, couldn’t make sense of things. I needed to get focused. I had that stupid paper to write. I’d blocked out the rest of this afternoon and all of tonight, right up until dawn for putting together an amazing research paper. But first I had to get to the library to pull those sources.

  I should have stopped on my way back to the dorm. I groaned. When had I become such a poor planner, wasting time I didn’t have to waste?

  I’d do some Internet research while loading up on chips. Then I’d head out. I went into my bedroom, worked my way out of my coat—never releasing my hold on the chips—and tossed it on the bed. Then I walked to my desk and stopped.

  There was a stack of papers on it that hadn’t been there when I left that morning. On top was a note:

  Hope this helps make up for the time you lost.

  —J

  I ruffled through the pages. They were copies of the documents that I’d needed to research for my paper. At least four hours worth of gathered data, printed and neatly stacked on my desk. All I had to do was read it. I didn’t have to look it up.

  While I had been in class, while I’d been taking a midterm, Jude must have been in the library. But if he left here, how did he get back in?

  Then I noticed something else that Jude had left. A framed picture of Jude and me. Based on the background—snowy mountains and trees—it was the picture Mel had taken the day we went extreme sledding, just before we headed down the mountain. I was smiling. I looked happy and carefree. And Jude…he looked as hot as ever, his g’day grin broad, his arm around me, his cheek against mine.

  Did I really think that what I had with him came anywhere close to what I’d had with Rick? What I had with Jude was so much more. With him I had the something that both Rick and I had been looking for. I knew then that Rick had found it with Marla.

  I was glad for him.

  I thought about blowing off the paper, but I couldn’t. Not after Jude had sacrificed his morning to gather the materials I needed to research.

  But I did need to get one burning question answered before I could focus.

  I went downstairs to Susan’s room and knocked on her door.

  “Oh, hey,” she said, when she answered. “I saw you on the news—”

  Great.

  “—and meant to check on you yesterday, but I figured you were recovering and preferred quiet. That whole ordeal must have been awful.”

  I shook my head. “Actually it wasn’t too bad.”

  “Still.” She left it at that and shuddered.

  “I was wondering. Did you let someone into my room?”

  “Yeah. That Aussie? He said he’d stopped by yesterday afternoon to visit you and left his duffel bag.” She shrugged.

  “Thanks.”

  “He’s the one you got lost with, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  She gave me this wicked little grin that looked so un-Susan I figured I was suffering some sort of aftershock.

  “He is hot. I’ll admit that I wouldn’t mind getting stranded with him.”

  “I’ll see you.” I turned to go.

  “Is everything okay? With your room, I mean. He asked to leave something in your bedroom. Just looked like some papers.”

  “Yeah, everything is great.”

  Or at least I was hoping it would be when I finished writing the damn research paper and had a chance to talk with Jude.

  A few hours later, with my research paper finished in record time and emailed to my professor, I leaned over my desk to free up some blocks on my time chart—and then decided, no, my time-blocking days were over.

  After a hot shower to loosen up my neck and shoulders, I carefully applied a little more makeup than usual. Not that I thought Jude really noticed makeup, but since he’d been here, we’d been all about the snow and just hanging out. I really hadn’t done anything to make myself look more attractive, but tonight I felt a need to pretty up. Maybe it was because of the off-helicopter interview.

  I brushed my hair a hundred times so it really shined and I left it loose to swing over my shoulders.

  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d worn a skirt. A wedding maybe. But I put on wool tights and a knee-length red skirt and sweater. I pulled out heeled black boots. I was placing my ankles in jeopardy by wearing them, but I wanted to look sexy. Just once, I wanted him to see me in something that wasn’t thick, bulky, and designed to keep me warm. Or something that looked the same on a girl as it did on a guy.

  Of course, the parka ruined the whole effect, but it was coming off as soon as I walked through the restaurant doors.

  It was eight thirty when I burst through the back door of the restaurant. I hung my coat on the rack before making my way into the kitchen.

  “Hey,” Mel said. “Didn’t expect to see you tonight.” She gave me a once-over. “Don’t you look good.”

  “Thanks.” I glanced around. “Is Jude—”

  “He’s waiting tables tonight. Your section.”

  That surprised me. Paul put waiters through this whole training program. But Jude’s waiting tables worked for my plan.

  “Well, then, maybe I’ll order dinner tonight.”

  “I guess you know he’s staying with Boomer.”

  “Yeah. I actually want to talk to him about that.” It was warm in the kitchen and my face was starting to perspire. Not the look I wanted. “I’m just going to pop into the dining room.”

  And immediately wished I hadn’t when I spotted Jude crouched at Hailey’s table. He was smiling broadly and talking to her as though he thoroughly enjoyed her. Hailey was alone, not with her family, and I had a feeling she’d come with a specific purpose in mind—a purpose that went by the name of Jude Hawkins.

  “Don’t let it get to you,” Mel said in a low voice from behind me. “He charms everyone like that. It’s the reason Paul moved him to waiter. People order more food.”

  “You don’t have to explain it. I know how charming he can be. I just thought—”

  He looked up and caught my gaze. He looked surprised and, if I was reading his expression right, guilty. Slowly he unfolded his tall, slender body.

  “You know what?” I said quickly. “I’ve changed my mind about eating here. I’m really craving McDonald’s.”

  “Alys
sa—”

  Whatever else Mel was going to say was lost because I was already through the swinging kitchen door and headed for the back one. I grabbed my coat, but didn’t even bother to put it on before dashing outside.

  As I crossed the parking lot, I almost slipped in the stupid heeled boots. What had I been thinking putting them on?

  I leaned against a car, unzipped the boots, and jerked them off. Yes, I’d probably get frostbite but that was better than a broken ankle. Then I sprinted back to the dorm, tears crystallizing on my eyelashes.

  It was better to just concentrate on my studies. No broken hearts there.

  I was decked out in my finest flannel pajamas and thick woolen socks. Still eating chips. I’d gone through three bags now, having never stopped anywhere for dinner. I was also, much to my disbelief, watching The Holiday, which wasn’t half bad. I could really relate to the main characters. Of course every time Jude Law made an appearance, I’d think of Jude and get distracted remembering all the reasons I’d fallen for him. I probably should have gone with another movie, but misery loves company and all that. I didn’t think anything could make me more miserable than I already was.

  I was sitting on the couch wrapped up in the comforter that had kept Jude warm for so many nights. Every now and then I thought I could smell him.

  I’d had a nice long talk with myself when I got back to the dorm, similar to the Stephanie method of asking and answering questions posed to myself. The very idea of getting seriously involved with Jude was nuts. He was only going to be here for a couple more weeks. Then he’d go back to Australia and I’d probably never see him again.

  Rick and I were over and that was good too. All I had in my life now was schoolwork and my job at the restaurant, a combination that would create no distractions once Jude had gone. I might even add another course in the spring. I’d seen a special on the news about a guy who had finished college in a year. Maybe I could shoot for two.

  I heard the branches of the tree outside my room suddenly scratching against my window. It had been so clear when I’d run home that I was surprised a winter storm was coming in. But they were so unpredictable. That was the reason Jude and I had ended up spending a night in a barn. I didn’t want to think about that night, about how close I’d felt to him. Against all odds, it had turned out to be the best night of my life.