Initiate

by Bill Bennett

  Luna was dressed in flimsy robes, and she was spinning around like a top, her feet thumping the floor on each turn. As she spun she chanted. Her eyes were closed and she seemed to be in a trance, yet she kept her balance perfectly. Then she suddenly stopped, and her eyes snapped open. She stared straight at Lily.

  Lily stepped away from the door. She felt blood rush to her face. She was embarrassed she’d been caught. She turned and walked swiftly back to her room. She wanted to get away as quickly as possible.

  As she walked down the hallway, she glanced out a window and saw Skyhawk sitting on a rock at the edge of a precipice. She hesitated, then slipped into her bedroom, put on her leather jacket over her cotton nightie, then walked outside.

  ‘Mind if I join you?’ she asked, walking up to him.

  He turned, his eyes large and bright in the moonlight, his dark hair melting away into the night. He smiled, and offered his hand. She took it, and in one easy movement he lifted her up onto the rock. She sat beside him. She could smell his scent. She began to shiver. Was it from the cold? Or the excitement of sitting beside him in the dark? He took off his old faded denim jacket and put it over her knees.

  ‘No, thanks. You need it.’ She tried to hand him back the jacket, but he laughed, and refused.

  ‘It’s okay,’ he said, and moved in closer so she could share his body heat.

  She snuggled into him.

  ‘You should be asleep,’ he said. ‘You have a huge day tomorrow. Or today, I should say . . .’

  Lily wasn’t sure whether she should tell him what she’d just seen. It seemed like she’d peeped in on something very private.

  ‘Did Luna wake you?’ he asked.

  ‘Yeah. Do you know what she’s doing?’

  ‘Probably astral travelling,’ he said. ‘Somewhere out of her body, in another realm. It must get lonely up here, and she’s probably revisiting some of the happier times in her life. She can do that, go back in time. She’s incredible.’

  ‘How come you know about this stuff?’

  ‘She taught my father, many years ago.’

  ‘Your father?’ Lily looked at him, surprised. ‘No way!’

  ‘Yeah. He came up here to learn about the spirit world outside of our own culture. Luna was a master, and still is. You could have no better teacher.’

  Lily let the night envelope her. She could feel Skyhawk’s chest rise and fall gently with his breath, which smoked out into the chilled air. They sat together in silence. It felt comfortable. It felt right.

  ‘Do you believe in destiny?’ she finally asked him.

  ‘Yes. I believe we each have a path laid out for us before we were born, but that during our life we can choose to stray from that path if we wish, or we can choose to stay on it. And if we stay on it, then we’ll end up where we’re meant to be.’

  ‘And if we stray?’

  Skyhawk laughed gently. ‘Well, straying could be part of our path too. It’s never direct. It’s not like an eight lane highway with big overhead signs and arrows pointing the way. Sometimes it’s dark and just a mule track, and it wanders all over the place, even into chasms that have no way out. But you have to trust that it’s taking you where you need to go.’

  ‘I’m not sure what’s my path,’ Lily said. ‘That’s the problem. All I know is that I have to do this initiation.’ Her voice was tinged with confusion. ‘It’s not like I even want to become a white witch. It’s just something I have to do.’

  ‘You are your mother’s daughter, Lily,’ he said, ‘just as I am my father’s son. We follow the destiny paths they laid out for us.’

  ‘So what’s your destiny?’

  He smiled again, and then said softly, as if on the wind, ‘My destiny is the same as yours.’

  She looked across at him. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Perhaps we’re on the same path, you and me. And our meeting was no accident. With you, it’s connected to your mother. With me, it’s my father. But our paths are converging, yours and mine. Some day soon, they will come together, and join.’

  ‘I don’t understand . . .’

  ‘I don’t know yet. I can just feel it.’ He took a big breath and let it out slowly, as if considering the enormity of what was to come. ‘Now, you better get back to bed. You don’t want to fail purification tomorrow because you were too tired.’

  Lily didn’t want to leave him. There were so many questions she wanted to ask. What was their shared path? What was their destiny together? She wanted to stay there on the rock beside him and talk until the sun came up. She wanted to fall asleep with her head on his shoulder. But he was right. She needed to sleep.

  She handed him back his jacket and jumped down off the rock, and with the pleasing sensation that he was watching her go, she walked back inside.

  Lily sat alone at the kitchen table having a light breakfast of corn tortillas and herb tea, while Luna packed for the day’s journey. Skyhawk had disappeared. Lily had gone looking for him out among the rocks but had come face to face with a wild cat, a magnificent golden-coloured mountain lion, resting under a tree.

  It had slowly stood and looked at her as she began to back away. She turned and scurried back home, fearing it would bound after her and drag her to the ground and rip her to pieces. But it never did. When she thought back on it later, the lion never growled, never bared its teeth or showed any aggression towards her. If anything, when it rose to its feet, it was like a polite gentleman standing when a woman enters the room. It was all very strange. But then again, there were a lot of very strange things around Luna’s cottage.

  She was disappointed she wouldn’t get to see Skyhawk before she left. Especially after their talk on the rock the previous night. She’d felt a closeness to him, more than just the physical sensation of their two bodies snuggled in together to keep warm, but something else, something almost intimate. Was it the thought that they might share a future together?

  Luna walked back into the room carrying a small canvas bag. ‘Time to go.’

  Lily looked at the small bag. Her heart lifted. If that’s all she was taking, then perhaps this was only going to be a day trip. The purification might only take a couple of hours. She hoped so. The thought of overnighting in a drafty old hut or shack, sleeping on a cot or a bunk, really did not appeal.

  They drove away along a rutted track in Luna’s old open-air army-issue jeep, which looked like a relic from World War Two. They swayed from side to side as the jeep made its way over the rocky terrain, Luna sometimes having to crunch down to first gear to climb up a steep incline.

  Lily scanned the skies above.

  Luna glanced over at her. ‘What are you looking for?’

  ‘There was an eagle yesterday. It tried to attack us, down the base of the mountains.’

  ‘An eagle? What happened?’

  ‘Freddie put a white-light shield around the car, and that seemed to injure it or something, and it flew off. But I think it was one of them.’ Lily looked over at Luna. ‘We’re kind of vulnerable out here, aren’t we? Have you put any kind of protection around this jeep?’

  Luna smiled. ‘I might not be the witch I once was, but I’m still one mean mother, Lily, let me tell you, and anyone coming after you would know that. No, the jeep is un­protected, but you’re safe with me.’

  She crunched down the gears again, and climbed higher. She drove with verve and confidence, and to Lily it soon seemed as though the jeep was like a sure-footed mountain goat, picking its way carefully up stony crevices and around rockfalls as it carried them up the mountain. After nearly two torturous hours, with Lily holding on grimly to stop from being tossed around the cabin, they pulled up by the side of a wind-whittled escarpment. Luna jumped out with an agility that belied her age.

  ‘This is it,’ she said.

  Lily looked around. ‘Where?’ she asked, slowly getting out of the jeep. She looked around for a hut or a shack, but there was nothing other than rocks and boulders and a few withered trees.
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  ‘Follow me.’ Luna grabbed the canvas bag and began to climb what must have been a coyote track leading up the escarpment. Lily followed, realising with astonishment that Luna was bounding up the rocky trail without any shoes. Lily was grateful for her Blundstone boots.

  About halfway up, the old woman stopped and waited for Lily to catch up. She smiled, barely drawing breath. ‘Here we are,’ she said, gesturing to a rocky bluff.

  Lily looked around, confused. She was so breathless she could barely speak. ‘Here we are, where?’

  And then she saw it – an opening in the rocks, perfectly hidden, impossible to see from below.

  ‘That’s where you’ll stay, Lily. You’re not to leave that cave until your purification is complete. If you so much as step one foot outside before you’re done, I’ll know, and you’ll fail. And if you fail purification, then you cannot be initiated.’

  Lily’s heart sank. A cave? She was to go through this purification in a cave in the side of a mountain? ‘I don’t understand,’ she said, her mind racing. ‘How will I know when I’m purified?’

  ‘You’ll know. Believe me,’ Luna said, smiling as she began to unpack the carry bag.

  Lily walked over and peeked into the dark interior of the cave. There was a low moan coming from deep within the mountain. She wanted to turn and run back down to the jeep.

  ‘There’s a freshwater spring inside,’ Luna said, stepping up beside her. ‘So you’ll have water, but no food.’ She handed Lily a tin cup from the bag, and a thin blanket.

  Lily looked at them, numbly. ‘That’s all?’ she asked.

  ‘That’s all you’ll need. Now, out of those clothes, and into these.’ She pulled a white robe made of rough linen out of the carry bag, and a thick white cord. She handed them to Lily.

  ‘What, now?’ Lily asked, looking at the robe. ‘Here?’

  ‘Yes, Lily, here.’ Luna smiled, amused. ‘I’ll need your underwear off too, please.’

  Lily hesitated, embarrassed under Luna’s unflinching gaze. ‘Can I go behind a rock or something?’

  ‘No, Lily. Here.’

  ‘And my boots too?’

  ‘Everything. Including the boots.’

  The thought of being barefooted in the cave, even for a short while, sent a wave of fear flooding through her. Ever since she could remember, she’d always worn boots, and at the very least, shoes. But right now, worrying about what got stuck in her feet should be the least of her concerns. She’d just have to get over it.

  She sat down on a nearby rock and hauled off her beloved Blunnies. Then she peeled off her thick woollen socks to reveal two delicate white feet that looked like they’d been freshly unwrapped from plastic airtight containers. She put her feet down on the ground one at a time, and gingerly stood up. The sand was hot. Tiny sharp stones pierced the soft soles of her feet. She flinched.

  Luna watched, saying nothing.

  Lily then began to undress. She took off her jeans first, conscious that her legs were skinny and boy-like. Why do I care what Luna thinks of my body? Lily thought, as she took off her t-shirt. It’s because she’s examining me. Sizing me up. Seeing if I have what it takes to be a white witch.

  She felt self-conscious. She stepped out of her underpants and laid them on the rock, then stood before Luna completely naked. She felt awkward under her gaze. Luna’s eyes took in every detail of her body, and then she looked into Lily’s eyes and scanned all her frailties, all her vanities, all her shame.

  She’s reading me like I’m an open book, Lily thought. And then she felt a surge of anger and pride. She was proud of her body and who she was. She was proud to be her mother’s daughter. She pulled herself up, lifted her head and stared defiantly into Luna’s eyes.

  ‘Good,’ Luna said nodding, as if pleased at Lily’s subtle shift in attitude. ‘Please understand that I’m not trying to humiliate you, Lily, I just want to see who you are. Now, the robe please.’

  Lily put on the white robe, the coarse rough cloth prickly against her skin. She tied the cord around her waist and looked back up at Luna.

  ‘No, this is the way you do it.’ Luna retied the cord with a special knot.

  Lily suddenly felt giddy. It was all starting to overwhelm her: not having her boots on, not wearing anything under the robe, the heat pulsating up from the sand through her bare feet.

  ‘Supposing something happens?’ she asked. ‘Supposing I get bitten by a snake, or eaten by a mountain lion or something.’

  Luna laughed. ‘Lily, if you want to be bitten by a snake, you’ll be bitten by a snake. And if you want to get eaten by a wildcat, that wildcat will devour you. It’s up to you. You choose your world.’ Then she picked up her clothes and boots, and stuffed them into the bag.

  ‘So you’re just leaving me here?’ Lily asked, suddenly panicked.

  ‘I can’t do this for you, Lily. You have to do it by yourself.’ She turned to go.

  ‘Aren’t you going to . . . you know . . . put up one of those white-light cones?’ Lily asked, her panic now taking hold. ‘What if they come for me?’

  ‘This is what initiation is all about, Lily. Overcoming fear. If they come for you, you’ll have to find some way to protect yourself. I can’t always be around. Nor can Freddie. How will you ever be able to help your mother if we continually wrap you in a white-light cocoon? What’s the use of that? No, being an initiated white witch means developing the skills to deal with whatever the Golden Order might throw at you.’

  ‘But I might die in there!’

  ‘Yes, you might. And you might also emerge as our future leader.’

  Luna held Lily in a momentary steady gaze, as if expressing her complete confidence in her, then she turned and began to walk off.

  ‘How will you know when it’s finished? When I’m purified?’ Lily blurted out. ‘I could be here for weeks. How will you know when to come back?’

  Luna turned back, held her with a steady gaze. ‘You’ll have to trust me, won’t you.’ Then she made her way back down the track to the jeep, moving swiftly.

  Lily watched her go. A sudden hollow emptiness swept through her. Way below, Luna got into the vehicle and without even looking up and waving goodbye, she drove off. The sound of the engine slowly disappeared on the wind, to be replaced by the low soft moan coming from the mouth of the cave.

  Lily shivered in the heat. I’m all alone now, she thought. Nothing but me, and whatever that cave holds for me. She stood staring into the darkness.

  As she gingerly stepped inside, avoiding sharp rocks in the sand, she didn’t notice high above her, soaring on a thermal updraft, a huge golden eagle. It watched her disappear into the side of the mountain, then it swooped away.

  From twenty feet, her aim was unerringly accurate. She could hit a man, running for his life, at the base of his skull, not a problem at all. She didn’t have to aim, she just had to think where her knife needed to go, and it would go there. So hitting a tree was easy. That’s why she did it blindfolded – to hone her senses.

  She hurled another blade. She heard it thunk into wood. She took off her blindfold and saw that it had grouped within three inches of the others she’d thrown. Not good enough. She wanted a one-inch grouping. She walked over to the tree at the rear of the rundown ranch house, pulled out all the knives, and went back to her mark to try again.

  She needed this target practice. It relaxed her, kept her mind off the situation which, when she thought about it, made her seethe with fury. She put the blindfold back on, positioned herself, imagined where the knife needed to go again, and threw it. Thunk.

  If the Grand Master had dispatched the Twins, it meant he’d lost confidence in them all. Kritta didn’t care if they turned the Hag into cat food. The sooner, the better. But she was concerned that the Grand Master didn’t believe that she and her familiars could deliver the girl. She’d got them the woman after all, surely that had to count for something? Why did she constantly have to prove herself?

  It was becau
se she was small.

  She was four foot eleven, without boots. She’d grown up in the projects in New Orleans and even when she was small, she was small. To survive, she’d had two options – she could either run away, or she could get vicious.

  Kritta got vicious.

  It was because of this viciousness that she’d risen so fast within the ranks of the Golden Order. She’d quickly gained a reputation for being someone they could rely on to mete out punishments swiftly and ruthlessly. She always got the job done, often outrageously – like when she severed the head clean off a Baphomet initiate.

  Kritta created fear and that’s what the Golden Order sought, because out of fear came havoc, and out of havoc came social unrest. It was then within the murky soup of social unrest that Baphomet thrived. The media was their mouthpiece, an unwitting yet eager accomplice in disseminating fear into the public arena. Kritta’s theatrical use of horrific violence fit perfectly into their methodology.

  Her bloody crimes grabbed airtime on the news networks, and they also brought her to the attention of the upper echelons of Baphomet North, who fostered her predilections for dismemberment and eliciting terror. In no time at all it seemed she’d become an inquisitor, which had allowed her to look for the woman and her daughter.

  There were some in the Golden Order who resented her quick climb, but she’d put in the work. Reading didn’t come easy to Kritta, yet she’d spent hours upon hours learning all the arcane texts and spells and rituals that were an essential part of the Golden Order’s craft. All that meant nothing though when the Grand Master was disappointed in you, and right now he was disappointed. So he was sending in the Twins.