Courting the Clearwaters

by Jill Penrod

Chapter 4

  “Tony,” Shawn called as he came into the house. “Tony?”

  Nobody answered, and he walked to the kitchen calendar and checked everyone’s schedules. Today, Tony was to come home from school directly. So where was he?

  Shawn was tired. Finals were draining, and he had no patience left. Although his summer job had been cancelled, until Friday he still worked in the lab, and graduate students had come out in force this week, finishing and printing papers, so the lab had been open more hours. Between the extra hours working and the extra hours studying, he wasn’t sleeping, and he was tired and easily irritated. To keep this up through finals he needed to eat, and Tony was supposed to have dinner ready.

  “I don’t need this today,” he mumbled, dropping his backpack on the table and opening the refrigerator. He needed to pick up some food. Mom was working through dinner tonight; maybe he’d take Tony out for Chinese. Maybe Italian.

  Of course, first he had to find him. He’d probably gone out to play basketball at the park. Although he was supposed to leave a note when he did that, he didn’t always remember.

  Yawning, Shawn changed into old jersey shorts and a clean T-shirt and strolled into the park one street over. The day was warm, with a comfortable breeze, and many voices drifted from the fields. Groups played volleyball, baseball, and tennis, and children squealed on the playground. The basketball court was not in use, and none of the neighbor kids were at the baseball diamond.

  As Shawn looked for Tony, he began to panic. Tony never disappeared. He understood how busy Mom and Shawn were, and he knew he needed to help them keep track of him, and he did a good job of letting them know where he was. So where was he? Shawn jogged home, not sure what to do next. Perhaps Tony had called Mom. Of course, if he hadn’t and Shawn did, she would panic. He decided he had to call her regardless. Surely Tony had changed his plans, called her for permission, and simply forgotten to leave a note for Shawn.

  “Mom,” he said when she answered, “where’s Tony tonight?”

  “Oh, he called,” she said. “He’s at Bob’s. He didn’t say if he was staying for dinner or not. How are finals?”

  “Okay, I guess. He was supposed to make dinner tonight; I could have used it.” Shawn heard the irritation in his voice and didn’t like it.

  “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t even think. Oh, I have another call.”

  “It’s okay. I’ll see you tonight,” he said. He put down the phone and looked at it. Were all families like this?

  He looked up Bob’s phone number and called, wanting to know if he should wait for Tony or just go get something on his own. When Bob’s mom told him Tony wasn’t there and hadn’t been there in several days, he said a polite thank you and sat down hard in a kitchen chair.

  His first thought was that Mom had the wrong friend. His second was to wish they could afford a cel for Tony, but that wasn’t in their budget. So, he picked up the phone and began to call around. As each parent assured him Tony hadn’t been over today, the earlier knot of panic returned to his gut and grew. When he ran out of phone numbers, he called the number he knew best.

  “Seth, I think I have a problem,” he said without greeting.

  “Shoot,” Seth said.

  “I can’t find my brother. He told Mom he’d be at a friend’s house, but he lied. I don’t know how to find him. He’s never done this before.”

  For a moment Seth said nothing, and Shawn tried not to imagine all the trouble Tony could be in.

  “Pray, Shawn Carpenter. I’ll be right over. We can look together.”

  Shawn sat down and took a deep breath. Seth was right; Shawn wasn’t alone anymore. When things got hard, he could turn to a higher authority, one who held all things in His hands.

  For fifteen minutes he rested his head on folded arms in the kitchen and talked to God about Tony.

  “God, it’s really hard,” he admitted. “We’re not a normal family. I don’t want Tony to grow up thinking he missed something, but he misses a lot. When I was his age, Dad wasn’t much, but he was here. And Mom was here. I couldn’t disappear for hours and not be missed. Help us, God. Mom and Tony need you. Nothing else can help us.”

  Seth came in, not bothering to knock, and sat at the table across from Shawn.

  “Any word?”

  “No. He never does this. I don’t know what got into him.”

  “May I say something offensive?” Seth asked, frowning.

  “I don’t know,” Shawn said. “I suppose.”

  “I’ve only met Tony a few times, but he seems a little, um, angry. I don’t know how else to say it.”

  “I hate to admit it, but I’ve been too busy to notice. We keep him fed, dressed, and sheltered. Sometimes it doesn’t go much farther than that.”

  “Well, let’s see,” Seth said. “You tried the park.”

  “Yes.”

  “Should one of us stay here by the phone?”

  “I could leave the machine on,” Shawn said. “I wish we had cel phones, but it’s out of our budget.”

  “Lots of teenagers like the mall,” Seth said with a shrug.

  “He’s not really supposed to go to the mall. A few months ago he got into trouble there. He was hanging around with these older guys and…. Oh. I’ll set the machine. Let’s go.”

  Shawn said nothing on the drive. He thought about what Seth had said and Tony’s first run-in with trouble at the mall, caught being boisterous and insulting mall employees. Somehow, since it had only happened once, and Tony had seemed scared and repentant about the whole thing, Mom and Shawn had forgiven him and let it be over.

  But maybe it wasn’t over at all.

  It had been a while since Shawn had been to the mall in the evening, and he had to laugh. He and Seth wore old shorts and Ts, but many young teens roamed dressed like they were at a party. As he walked past groups of young people, the smell of cologne and hair spray was strong enough to choke him, and he was glad to be past that age. He remembered those years as being hard, and he didn’t envy Tony having so many to go before he would be comfortable being himself again at the mall.

  “You know, I don’t miss high school,” Seth said. Shawn laughed. “Let’s check out the food court. I could use a soda.”

  The court was crowded, noisy and alive with old and young people alike, and Shawn scanned the crowd as Seth stood in line for his drink.

  “I see him,” Shawn said suddenly. Seth looked, nodding; Tony sat across the court with four older guys. The group laughed loudly, and from the looks of people who passed, Shawn guessed they were hassling the passersby.

  “Do you know the guys with him?” Seth asked.

  “No.”

  “Let’s go scare them a little,” Seth said, grinning. “Just let me get my drink.”

  Although impatient, Shawn waited with Seth, never taking his eyes off his brother. The group continued to hassle people, and Shawn wondered how long it would take mall security to stop them and what the consequences would be this time.

  In a couple minutes they crossed the court, Seth leading. Half a head taller than Shawn, Seth would easily tower over the boys. Shawn stepped back as they neared the table, curious to see what Seth would say.

  “Hey,” he said firmly. All five boys looked up. Two looked frightened, and two looked defensive. Tony looked guilty. “Tony, little man, I thought I might find you here.”

  Seth sat down at the end of the table and smiled. Shawn sat a couple tables away.

  “How are we doing tonight, gentlemen?”

  “Who is this?” the biggest boy asked. “Tony, who is this guy?”

  “Pardon me,” Seth said, extending a hand. “Seth Roberts. Tony’s brother’s parole officer.”

  “Parole officer?” one of the guys asked, looking awed. “Your brother was in jail?”

  “Um,” Tony said, frowning.

  “Shawn’s looking for you, little man. We do
n’t want to upset him, do we?”

  “I guess not,” Tony said.

  “What did he do?” another guy asked. They all looked at Tony with new respect. Shawn rolled his eyes.

  “Sorry,” Seth said. “Can’t discuss it. I don’t think you boys will be seeing Tony around for a while. You know, it isn’t nice to harass people at the mall.”

  “What a wimp,” one guy said. Seth stood and pulled Tony to his feet, standing over them and using his height to his best advantage.

  “Gentlemen, I may see you again. Maybe we’ll do business someday. I enjoy juvenile court cases.”

  Shawn had to laugh as Seth took Tony’s shoulder and led him away. The boys sat like stone for a moment, and while they were quiet mall security walked past, eyeing them suspiciously.

  “Well, we got you out just in time,” Shawn said as Tony sat down.

  “Parole officer?” Tony said with disgust, rolling his eyes. “I thought you Christian guys weren’t supposed to lie.”

  “Hey, I didn’t want to ruin your reputation,” Seth said, shrugging. He sat down and sipped his drink. “I can’t believe they bought that.”

  “You lied to Mom,” Shawn said, angry. “You called her on the phone and lied to her. I suppose it wasn’t the first time.”

  Tony said nothing, and Shawn leaned back in his chair.

  “We can go,” Seth said.

  “No, let’s stay a minute,” Shawn said, trying to rein in his anger. Tony was safer here surrounded by people than he’d be if Shawn took him home right now. He took a deep breath and looked hard at Tony, wondering how to handle this.

  “Will you tell Mom?” Tony asked. The longer Shawn stared at him, the more repentant Tony appeared. He squirmed and looked around, focusing on anything but his brother.

  “I should.” He took another deep breath. “What would you do?”

  “What?” Tony asked, looking surprised.

  “You’re working and going to school. You’re too busy, but you don’t see any choice. Your brother, who usually has a good head on his shoulders, has been sneaking out and causing trouble. Now you wonder how many lies he has told. You wonder how you can trust him again. You don’t want to lock him in his room, but what can you do?”

  Tony looked at Seth, who shrugged and returned to his parole officer voice.

  “So, little man, what do you do?”

  “I’d quit going away so much,” Tony said.

  “What?” Shawn asked. This wasn’t the answer he’d expected. “Where do I go?”

  “All those church things. You’re gone on Wednesdays and Sundays, and you go out all the time with your new friends. It’s like you’ve forgotten about Mom and me.”

  Shawn had no words. Tony was right, but Shawn didn’t have any answers. He had to be with Christians to learn how to obey God, to know what God wanted. But, he couldn’t abandon Tony to do it.

  “Tony,” Seth said gently, “let me ask you something. How many hours a week do you get to be with your friends?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Think about it. Do you see them at school?”

  “At lunch. During breaks. Maybe an hour a day?”

  “Okay. How about after school?”

  “Three or four days a week I go home with somebody until Shawn comes home. Maybe six or eight more hours.”

  “Twelve or thirteen hours. How about weekends?”

  “A couple more hours, maybe. I usually stay home weekends.”

  “Okay. We’ll call it thirteen hours. Do you think Shawn gets that much time?”

  “He does now, sometimes. But he didn’t before, I guess. He just went to classes and the lab and came home.”

  “Do you think he liked that?”

  “I don’t know.” Tony looked at Shawn, who kept his face as neutral as possible. It was odd hearing them talk as though he wasn’t there. “I guess it got boring sometimes. But he and I had fun together.”

  Tony squirmed uncomfortably, clearly getting the point of Seth’s questioning.

  “I try to be there,” Shawn said. “Things in my life have changed. The change is good, but I have to learn. I have to be away more. If I try to be home a little more, can you stop lying to us?”

  “Yes,” Tony said penitently. “You think you can be home more?”

  “After finals. But, Tony, I enjoy my friends like you enjoy yours. Please don’t ask me to give that up.”

  “I won’t.”

  Everyone was silent a moment, and Shawn suggested they go home. Seth finished his soda and agreed.

  “I still can’t believe you told them Shawn was on parole,” Tony said to Seth as they left. Seth just laughed.

  When they got home, Tony went to his room. Mom wasn’t home yet, and Seth and Shawn sat in the living room.

  “Have you eaten dinner yet?” Shawn asked his friend.

  “No.”

  “I’ll order pizza if you’ll stay to help us eat it.”

  “Deal. Then I need to study.”

  “I hear that. I’m glad Ben cancelled group this week.”

  “So, are you going to tell your mom?”

  “I don’t think so. I don’t know, Seth. I don’t want to be a father of a teenager, but sometimes I have no choice.”

  “It’s got to be hard. If it helps, I think you handled tonight well.”

  “Except now his friends will be afraid of me, thinking I’m a car thief or something.”

  “Sorry about that,” Seth said, grinning. “I just couldn’t resist. I suppose it was wrong to lie like that, but Tony will set the record straight, I’m sure.”

  Shawn smiled and picked up the phone. “Sausage? Pepperoni? Everything?”

  “No vegetables,” Seth said.

  Shawn ordered a large sausage pizza and then lay down on the sofa. He was tired.

  “Any word on a job yet?” Seth asked. Shawn must have made a face, because Seth laughed. “I guess that’s no.”

  “I’m trying not to worry. I’m praying for help not to worry. Finals are a worry enough.”

  They were silent a moment, both tired, and then Shawn asked a question that had been on his mind all evening.

  “Do you think he was right?”

  “Who?”

  “Tony. When he said I was gone too much. Do I let Christianity get in the way of other responsibilities?”

  “Christianity isn’t something you do. It’s who you are. You can’t separate it from your life. Do you think you’re gone too much?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe. I’d love to bring him with me on Sunday, but Mom doesn’t want it.”

  “Yet,” Seth said, smiling.

  Shawn grinned. “But I do need to be careful. He’s too young to be alone so much. I never had to be so alone when I was his age.”

  “You’re probably right. But, Shawn, it isn’t your fault your dad isn’t here.”

  “Did I say it was?”

  “No. You’ve never said anything about it at all. You just act like you’re trying to make up for something. I don’t know. Just an observation. I’m not given to great insight; that’s Jenny’s area.”

  Seth was wrong; he did indeed have great insight, but Shawn chose to let the subject fall away, grateful for the arrival of the pizza. Tony came down to get some and then returned to his room, claiming he had to study. Shawn figured he’d really spend the night on the computer, but at least he knew where he’d be.

  “So, how many finals do you have left?” Seth asked as he ate.

  “Three. I go all the way to Friday.”

  “I’ve got two left. I had three today.”

  “Ouch,” Shawn said. “I’m surprised you’re even walking around.”

  Seth grinned and got up for another soda. “Today’s weren’t bad. Thursday is my worst and my last. Friday I work first shift at the phone company. It’s an okay job, but not very exciting.”

  “So, Seth
Roberts, what kind of job would you find exciting?”

  “I’m just impatient. I want to get all this school finished and get to a mission field.”

  “What kind of mission field?” Shawn asked.

  “I’m not sure. I think I’d like to work in an orphanage.”

  “Just don’t tell the kids you’re a parole officer,” Shawn said, laughing. “I can’t believe you did that.”

  “Yeah, I know sometimes I do things impulsively that might not be such good things to do. What can I say? God and I are still working on it.”

  Seth soon left to study, and Shawn wandered to Tony’s room, surprised to find him really doing homework.

  “Seth’s gone?” he asked, pushing his work aside.

  “He had to study. Finals week is a killer.”

  “Shawn, were you really unhappy, like Seth said? Were you lonely?”

  “A little. I did enjoy time with you, though. When finals are over, I’ll try to do better, but I need to make money this summer, and right now I don’t have a job. I don’t know what kind of hours I’ll be working when I get one.”

  “No job?” Tony scowled. “What if you don’t find one? Does Mom know?”

  “Mom doesn’t know,” Shawn said. “I’ll find one. Don’t you worry about it.”

  “If you don’t find one, I can try to mow extra lawns this summer,” Tony said. “I can help.”

  For a minute Shawn almost told him he didn’t have to help, but instead he smiled and nodded. “I guess you’re old enough to help out. Thanks. I need to study now, too. Tomorrow you’ll be here making dinner, to make up for today.”

  Tony nodded, looking fearful. “Will you tell Mom?”

  “Not this time.”

  “There won’t be a next time,” Tony promised.

  “Good. For your sake, I hope you remember that.”

  Shawn had trouble studying, as the evening’s events whirled through his head. He’d been blind to Tony’s feelings, so caught up in his new life that he’d forgotten his old. He wished he had other friends with the kind of family responsibilities he did; sometimes their freedom bothered him. But Seth was wrong—Shawn had a lot to do with the state of his family, and he did have to make some things right.