Reluctantly In Love (Emerald Cove Romance Book 1)

by Siân James

  “How on earth did he make that mistake?” I laughed.

  Mum shook her head in consternation. “I asked him the same thing. He said he was listening to a podcast and was distracted, plus the bottles are the same colour.” She grinned too. “At least it wasn’t weed killer. He tried rinsing the plants off with some water and this rain will have helped too, but I’ll be surprised if he hasn’t killed the tomatoes.”

  I shook my head..

  “Speaking of significant others,” Mum began and right there I should have seen it coming but the segue was both sneaky and precise. “I was wondering if Matt Carter has asked you out yet?” She looked coy and knowing and I couldn’t stop my grin if I tried.

  “He has.”

  She raised both brows. “Has he kissed you?”

  I laughed, “Well, it was more that I kissed him, but then, yes, he definitely kissed me back.”

  She grabbed my hand across the table. “Oh, honey, I’m happy for you. I mean, I know it’s early days, and you need to get to know each other better, but he’s such a lovely young man. His mother is thrilled at the idea he’s met a local girl and especially you. I’ve told you more than once you have a reputation in this town as quite a catch—”

  I rolled my eyes, alarmed our mums were already talking about us. Gossip moved fast in a small town.

  “Isadora, don’t roll your eyes and don’t sell yourself short. I want you to be happy, and Matt Carter is a good way for that to happen.”

  Bemused, I pulled my hand back and felt it pertinent to point out the obvious, “I am happy, Mum. I don’t need a man to make me happy, or happier.”

  “Of course you don’t, sweetie, you mistake my meaning.”

  “Which is?” I raised a brow.

  “There’s more to life than work.”

  “I know that too, Mum. But before you or Joy get carried away, it’s nothing serious between us. Matt has to go back to the city in a few weeks, and even if he did decide to stay, I don’t have time for a relationship right now.”

  Her brows drew together. “What do you mean you don’t have time? Relationships don’t work on a schedule, Izzie. They happen when they happen.”

  I clicked my tongue. “Yes, but I can’t enter into a serious relationship if I don’t have the time or inclination to do so.”

  “Inclination? You mean you don’t fancy him?”

  I grinned. “Yes, I do fancy him Mum, it’s not that. I just have other priorities right now. I have two businesses going from strength to strength. I’ll need to research hiring more staff for the online consultation soon, and I don’t think I told you I’m planning to run an online workshop later in the year followed by an in-person workshop weekend next year. And if the florist moves ahead as I hope, I’ll need more staff there too, or at least to negotiate contracts with local artisans.”

  “That’s great, sweetie.” Her praise was half-hearted at best, and she turned away, her face a mask of concern.

  “Mum? What is it?”

  She sighed and studied the table. “This is my fault.”

  “What is?”

  She met my eyes and what I saw made my breath catch in my throat. Remorse, devastating in its depth was written clearly in each line of her face. Involuntarily, I took her hand. “Mum, what are you talking about?”

  “This attitude of yours, this belief you’ve convinced yourself of—it’s my fault.”

  I shook my head and opened my mouth to protest, but I felt a rush of heat behind my eyes at her distress and didn’t trust myself to speak.

  “I’ve been watching you these last few years, worried you were pushing opportunities away. Worried you were letting your life go by and not experiencing all the pleasures of youth.” Her voice wobbled.

  “Mum, no. How can you say that? Look at everything I’ve done; I’ve travelled, I’ve been to uni and worked in my profession, then started my own business—”

  She echoed my headshake. “You’ve had a ball, but you’ve sidestepped one particular life experience with determination and dexterity. And don’t tell me those other boys you dated counted because we both know they were beards.”

  I barked a laugh at her millennial slang. “I’m not a lesbian, Mum.”

  She waved a hand at me. “I know, though there’s nothing wrong with that if you were. Sally Logan’s daughter is a year younger than you, lives in Byron Bay and came out about a year ago. If I thought for a second you swung that way, I’d set you up with her in a heartbeat. She’s lovely.”

  This conversation was getting weirder and weirder.

  “What I mean is, you used those nice young men as a cover for avoiding a more serious relationship. Both were a ‘look at me I have a boyfriend’ kind of relationship. Not a ‘I really like this guy’ kind.”

  My head jerked at her observation. It stung, but she was right. I was excited when each of my ex’s had asked me out, and we got along well, but I wasn’t terribly upset when the relationships fizzled out. I didn’t feel much of anything … except relief.

  “There’s plenty of time for that,” I responded.

  “Is there?”

  “Well, yeah. Mum, I’m only twenty-six.”

  “I know sweetie, but what happens if the man who you could spend the rest of your life with just moved in above you, and you’re blowing him off because you think don’t have time?”

  I twisted my head. I felt like I’d walked into another dimension. One where my mother was prompting me to choose a potential relationship over my career.

  “Wait, I don’t get it. Don’t you want me to have a career first?”

  “Sweetie, I just want you to be happy with all the choices you make in life, and I feel I pushed you so hard not to make my mistakes, that you’ve been trying so hard not to make any mistakes.”

  “Pffft! I’ve made plenty of mistakes, Mum, no need to worry there.”

  She shook her head. “What I’m saying is, you’re twenty-six, not sixteen like I was. You know what you want out of your career, but what about your life? I’m glad your work nourishes and drives your soul, but what about a partner to share your success and failures with? A joy shared is a joy doubled.”

  My heart leapt at the familiar words. That was the third time in the last month I’d heard it.

  “And the right man will support your aspirations, as you should support him.” She squeeze my hand across the table again. “ I’m saying, don’t close your heart off to love, my love. And that can come in many forms. What about your friends? When was the last time you went surfing with Tash?”

  Guilt stabbed at my chest. “Ah, yes. Did she say something?”

  Mum gave me a stern glare. “She misses you but knows you’re very busy right now. She seemed … sad. Something isn’t right.” Mum tipped her head to the side. “I know you’ll take what I say with a grain of salt, but aside from not having any time for relationships in all their forms, honey, you look exhausted. I can’t tell you what to do, you know I don’t understand your online business, but I do know you’re very passionate about it. The same goes for the florist, but at least that I can understand.” She sighed. “Anyway, you know I love you and I’m just looking out for you.”

  I squeezed her hand back. “I know, and I love you too, Mum.”

  I had to leave shortly after our conversation but promised to think on her words and to keep in contact about which day would be best for her to help with unpacking the stock.

  My first conference call of the evening would begin in an hour, so I decided to do some food shopping as my cupboards were bare, then head home to make a meal and prepare for my call.

  With Mum's words floating through my head, it was hard to concentrate on my shopping list. I knew I was a grown woman, but I couldn’t deny the fact I’d based a lot of my decisions around whether or not what I was doing would make my mother proud. I always thought she wanted me to have career success before I engaged in a serious relationship and as an extension of that I had decided I wanted the same
thing. But did I really?

  Yes, the answer was yes … kinda.

  I wanted to feel successful, financially independent before I entered a relationship, but when would I feel I’d reached that potential? Technically, I could argue I’d reached my goal points years ago.

  Now, here was Mum suggesting she thought I was putting too much emphasis on my career and not enough on personal relationships. And I knew she was right. Definitely when it came to Tash, but I couldn’t deny that being unable to make an appointment—a date—with Matt because I was too booked up, well, it made me uncomfortable. I felt like he thought I wasn’t prioritising him, and I didn’t want him to think that. He was important to me, even if we only had a few more weeks left—

  My phone dinged with a reminder and I checked it. Consultation with Abbey Mellington—10 minutes.

  I swore under my breath and checked the time. How could I have made such a stupid mistake? Abbey was in Queensland and they didn’t have daylight savings. We’d discussed the time difference when we made this appointment and … I thought about it while I checked my calendar, yep, there she was. But I’d completely stuffed up the time in the wrong direction—Ping!

  A message came through from Abbey, Ready in ten!

  Thinking about it and trying to figure out how I went wrong wasn’t going to get me home any faster, so I abandoned my cart where it was and bolted for the door only to run right into Matt, again.

  He grabbed my upper arms. “Whoa, hey, is everything alright?”

  I knew my smile was distracted. “Yeah, all good. I just got the time of my next consultation wrong. I need to get home asap.”

  Immediately he let go of my arms “Damn, go on, then.” I took off but heard him call after me, “Drive safe!”

  Chapter 18

  I’d made it home with two minutes to spare. Luckily, I’d reviewed her case last night so the fact I hadn’t had the chance to revise immediately before the consult wasn’t a big deal. I was about halfway through our designated hour when I had a text from Matt: Do you like sushi?

  I responded with a smiley face and a Hell yes!

  A few minutes later, a knock sounded on the door. “Sorry, Abbey, someone’s at my door, I’ll be just a minute.”

  On my laptop screen Abbey nodded distractedly, her tongue between her teeth as she scribbled on her notepad.

  I rushed to the door and peered through the peephole. Matt was standing there in profile as he peered down the stairs. After doing a quick check of my appearance in the mirror by the side of the door I opened it.

  “Hi.” Gosh would my voice ever return to normal around this man, or would I forever sound like a breathy sex kitten?

  He grinned. “Hi.” He lifted the bags in his hands. “You rushed out of the supermarket without food, so I bought you dinner.”

  Well, that was incredibly thoughtful. “Thank you.” I looked back to my laptop. “But I have a conference call.”

  “No worries. I know you’re busy. I brought a book to read. Figured we could eat together but separate.” He looked hopeful and I didn’t have the heart to deny him. Plus, it did sound nice, sharing space and a meal even while we both had things to do.

  I stepped back to allow him through. “Okay. Sounds great. Thank you.”

  I moved back to the laptop while Matt closed the door and headed for the kitchen.

  “Okay, Abbey, I’m back.”

  “Everything okay?”

  I nodded. “Yes, my, uh, friend just brought me some dinner.”

  “Oh, how nice. Friend, huh?” She waggled her brows at me. This was one of the nice things about the kind of work I did, my clients became friends after working together so closely for so long.

  Matt chose that moment to bring me a glass of wine. “Thank you.” I placed it to the side, not wanting to drink while on the call because … professionalism.

  He ducked his head down so he was in sight of the camera and waved at Abbey. “Hi!”

  Abbey grinned and waved back. “Hi!”

  “Sorry to interrupt.”

  “No worries, at all.” She waved a dismissal hand.

  Matt moved back to the kitchen, and as soon as he was out of shot, Abbey mouth hot at me and fanned her face.

  I grinned at her, colour rising in my cheeks. “Back to the purchase orders,” I said sternly. Abbey rolled her eyes but we got back to it.

  While I continued to work with Abbey to get her finances in order, Matt pottered around in the kitchen, then sat on the balcony deck until I’d almost finished my call. After I’d bid goodbye to Abbey and took a sip of the wine, Matt appeared beside me with some plates filled with sushi, edamame, gyoza dumplings and some sauces which he placed on the coffee table.

  “Yum, what a feast. Thank you so much.” I smiled gratefully at him as he positioned all the food.

  “No problem. Like I said, I saw you abandon your trolley full of food and figured you might need dinner. I would be upstairs eating alone anyway. Thought we could eat alone, together.”

  “It’s almost a date.” I grinned at him and held up my wine glass.

  He clinked his against it. “Without the small talk.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. I’m sure I can have a little small talk over food.” I picked up my plate and eyed the table, deciding on the gyoza first because they were warm.

  He raised a brow. “Don’t you have work to get on with?”

  I sighed. “I do.” I mentally tallied all the things I needed to do before my next consult and before the evening consults over the weekend and preparing for the wedding we were doing in the morning …

  My mind drifted, fuzzed out, then sharpened on Matt’s strong hands as he prepared a plate for himself, dipped the gyoza into the dish of soy sauce and took a bite. Something about his long fingers, the tendon’s and veins shifting and moving, his teeth biting down on the dumpling and the muscle in his jaw moving as he chewed was the most fascinating thing I’d ever seen.

  And the most strangely erotic.

  Who ever thought I’d get turned on by someone chewing?

  Was that weird?

  It was weird.

  Moving on.

  “How did your consult go?”

  I pulled my eyes from Matt’s sexy hands and jaw and focussed on my gyoza. “Um, great. She’s a great client to work with. It was hard going when we first started a few months ago. She really had no idea what she was doing and seemed to have some serious blocks when it came to learning, but she persisted and now she’s doing well. Sales for her business have increased by forty percent in the last month.” The note of excitement in my voice was evident.

  “That’s amazing, Izzie. Especially at this time of year when sales are typically down. Well done, you.” His words were quiet and his smile honest but admiring, and I blushed at his praise.

  “Well, it was all Abbey, really. I just showed her the water; she had to drink it.”

  “In this analogy, I take it Abbey is the horse?”

  “Yes.” I scrunched my nose. “Not very flattering for her but you know what I mean.”

  “I do, and I’d like to point out that without the water, she’d still be thirsty.”

  We locked eyes. His were soft, his expression filling me with warm fuzzies, and I knew I was reflecting a similar affect back at him.

  It was one of those moments you read about or saw in a movie, when two people seemed to share a moment of understanding or appreciation. The moment stretched out but didn’t change. Instead, the feeling of contentment grew, the warm fuzzies blossomed into an incandescent joy, making me want to laugh. Matt leaned forwards and touched his lips mine in a soft exploration, kissing the smile from my mouth.

  The kiss was chaste as far as kisses went but seemed to imbue so much more meaning. I like you, I admire you, I want you.

  I had no idea that so much could be said with one kiss.

  “I like you, Number Four.” He said, confirming my suspicions.

  “I like you too.”


  We finished out meal, goofy grins on our faces as Matt asked more questions about my consulting business. He seemed really impressed at the personalised approach I gave each client and understood the finer points of the plans I laid out. It was refreshing to be able to discuss it with someone who understood business and could appreciate how my clients would benefit from my skills.

  Our meals consumed, Matt stood, instructing me to continue with my work while he cleaned up. I picked up my laptop and stared at the screen, thinking about the conversation we’d just had and how it made me feel.

  A joy shared is a joy multiplied.

  The words echoed in my head in a weird combination of my mother’s voice and the bride who’d first said the words to me all those weeks ago.

  Was this what they meant? Sharing my work with someone who was interested and who cared felt good. It felt good to know Matt was impressed with the work and I did and saw the value in it. In fact, it felt really good. I wanted to chase this feeling, bottle it so I could pull it out to spread around when things got on top of me …

  Or when he was gone.

  I glanced over at the kitchen where Matt was loading the dishwasher. I liked him in my apartment, sharing my space. Glancing back at my screen, I made a decision. It was too late to do anything about my consultation tonight, and my next client was on the precipice of launching a new product, so we had some work to do.

  I clicked through to my email a drafted a letter. After rereading, editing, and thinking about it some more, I clicked send.

  A time check showed I had twenty minutes until my next consultation. Matt was reclined on the lounge next to me, his head propped on a pillow, his book open on his chest and his eyes closed. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. He was asleep. It wasn’t eight o’clock yet, and I wondered what time he’d woken up this morning to drive so far from Sydney. It was an eight-hour drive.

  I made myself a cup of herbal tea and got comfy at my kitchen bench so I hopefully wouldn’t wake Matt during my next consultation.

  My client was predictably interested in the email I’d just sent out but I stuck to the line I’d expressed in my email, and she was understanding and encouraging. I realised that even before creating a space for my clients to interact with each other, I was already creating a community of like-minded and supportive women just by doing what I was doing. And that support extended to me and my business.