Reluctantly In Love (Emerald Cove Romance Book 1)

by Siân James

  The precious time we have together.

  His words echoed in my head. He knew what we had was fleeting and didn't want to get caught up in details. He was right of course. We'd made no promises to each other. We should be enjoying the time we had, not freaking out about the minutiae of things.

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  He kissed my forehead. “Can I take you home now?”

  I nodded against his mouth.

  Keeping one arm around my shoulders and me tucked to his side, he walked me to his truck. Upon our arrival home, instead of the frantic and fun sex we usually had, he undressed me silently and made slow and deliberate love to me. He brought me to climax, swallowing my whimpering sounds of pleasure in a deep kiss, following me over the edge shortly after. He wrapped me up in his arms, spooning me in the dark of the night.

  “Are you nervous about tomorrow?” Matt murmured into the skin of my neck, his body wrapped around mine adding to the delicious lethargy he'd elicited.

  “Yes, but I'm excited too.”

  “You should be, even though the renovations of the building itself and the Beach Shack café are exciting the locals, it's your florist and the courses you're planning on running that people want to talk to me about the most. I predict you're going to be booked solid.”

  His praise made feel like I was glowing, warming me from the inside out. I was confident I was going to do well, but it was nice to hear it all the same.

  I rolled into him, and he pulled back until I settled, using his bicep for a pillow, our limbs tangled, our naked bodies pressed together and our faces so close I couldn't focus properly on his.

  “You must be excited for the building to open too though. You've put a lot of hard work and effort into restoring it when no one has bothered for decades. You must be proud of the contribution you're making to the community.”

  His eyes warmed at my words, the sexy crinkle at the corners of his eyes becoming more pronounced.

  “I am proud I’ve been able to do something for the town I love; the community deserve it. BUT,” he said, tucking some hair behind my ear, “I'm more proud of you and the businesses you're growing and what you're offering to the community. I've simply restored a building and provided a location for the businesses that can make a real difference. You're providing not just a beautiful store, but a location for social gatherings, activities and creativity for the community outside the community hall. Nowhere else in town offers that, and people are chomping at the bit to be involved. Then there's your consulting-”

  I covered his mouth with my hand, unable to handle more of his praise for fear I'd burn the bed with the heat in my cheeks, “Okay, okay. I get it. I think you're awesome too.”

  I removed my hand, and he gave me a cheeky grin. “I am awesome, a total catch. I'm just waiting for a sexy business woman to come along and sweep me off my feet.” His face disappeared into my neck as he rolled me to my back, settling his hips between my legs and rubbing his growing hardness along my softness.

  “Still waiting, eh?” I pant, fast losing track of the conversation.

  He lifted his head, sapphire eyes sparkling and deadly serious, “Did I say that? I meant I've already been swept.” Then he pushed into me, making us both groan with pleasure and after that there was no more conversation.

  In the dark of the night, when Matt was breathing deep next to me and after he'd given me yet another amazing orgasm, I thought about his words today. I thought about the last week we'd spent together, and the previous weeks of circling each other. And finally, I thought about the pulsing knot of emotion threatening to suffocate me every time I thought about him leaving. I realised my plan of remaining somewhat detached and having a fling had gone out the window. No way would I escape this relationship with anything but a broken heart, because I was quite sure when he left, Matt would take a very large piece of mine with him.

  Chapter 22

  I woke early. Birds had already started their morning song, but the early autumn sun couldn't have been over the horizon yet, because there was only a hint of a glow coming through the windows.

  Matt was still asleep, one hand thrown across my stomach, the covers tucked up to his chest. It was getting cooler at night, heralding the end of summer and making it easier to sleep. I always loved summer when it arrived but the cooler months in Emerald Cove were just as beautiful, and after the heat of summer I was always happy for a reprieve.

  Matt's stubble had well and truly become a beard since his time in the Cove. He trimmed it earlier in the week and now it skimmed his jaw, a deeper gold than the hair on his head with some auburn scattered throughout. It made the line of his jaw stronger, his features even more masculine. I loved it.

  In sleep, he looked younger, peaceful. He'd changed a lot from the somewhat surly, steely-faced man I'd first met when he arrived. Now, he smiled frequently and laughed often. The line of his shoulders was more relaxed and he seemed happy.

  I wasn't naive enough to believe I was solely responsible for the differences. Emerald Cove was the real miracle worker. The sticky, salty air was a balm for any troubled or overworked soul. Look at Camille. She was a world happier now than when she first arrived all those years ago.

  Matt sighed in his sleep, his fair eyelashes fluttering, and I held my breath, not wanting to break the spell. He resettled and I edged out of the bed to the guest bathroom where I showered alone.

  Last night's emotional revelation was still weighing on me like an elephant on my chest, and I didn't think I could handle waking with Matt without collapsing in a mess of tears. Crying during sex wasn't very sexy.

  Today was too important to let my feelings for a man who would leave me get on top of me. I needed clarity. I needed focus. I needed time to myself to gather my emotions and push them aside so I didn't act like a crazy clinger, or ruin my chances at a successful launch.

  I finished showering and went through my morning routine silently, folded the dress I would wear for the opening this afternoon into a clothes bag to take into the shop this morning, then made myself a tea and sat on the balcony to enjoy the sunrise.

  A noise behind me alerted me to Matt's presence. “Morning,” I gave him a smile over my cup. “You slept well.”

  “Morning,” He rubbed his eyes and stretched sleepily while I enjoyed the view. He was bare chested, having pulled his long shorts on but hadn't yet buttoned them, so I had a tantalising view of where his happy trail disappeared, hinting at what was below.

  He leaned down as I tilted my head up to meet him for a kiss. It wasn't a peck, but it wasn't deep either. Somewhere perfectly in between. He pulled back slightly, his eyes darting between mine. “You got up without me.” He had a hint of disappointment in his tone.

  “I know, I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind for today.”

  His expression changed immediately to one of understanding, and the elephant on my chest get heavier. How on earth was I going to survive saying goodbye to this man?

  “Of course you do. It's a big day. What do you need? Have you had breakfast? When do you plan to be at the shop?”

  I grabbed his hand. “Calm down, I've had some toast but I couldn't stomach anything else right now. I'm too nervous. I'll probably grab a sandwich from the Beach Shack later. And I need to leave in about ten minutes. Want to share a cup of tea with me before I go? The kettle has just boiled.”

  He looked back to the kitchen. ”Sure.” He disappeared to make his tea.

  A few minutes later he returned, and I moved my feet from the second Adirondack chair for him to sit. He tapped his lap and indicated to my legs, so I lifted them back up, placing them in his lap where he wrapped his free hand around one, gently kneading the sole of my foot with his thumb and making me melt a little in the morning sun.

  “Are you going to bid on me tonight?”

  Matt's question caught me off guard. I'd completely forgotten about the charity auction this evening. They were holding it on the steps in front of the council chamb
ers, a block down the Main Street from where we were. Every year for the Sunflower Festival as well as a few other events, the Emerald Cove Event Co-ordination Committee (ECECC) would set up a stage for general entertainment, speeches and the like. Though the Bachelor Charity Auction was new this year, it had gained traction and was arguably the most anticipated event of the whole weekend.

  I bit my lip. “Well, you know I'd love to. I'll absolutely have a go while the bidding is low. But I've heard talk about how much some of the more mature and affluent women in town are putting aside to bid on a date with you guys. I can't match their price point. I'm sorry.” I grinned ruefully at his face.

  He looked like he'd swallowed a lemon. “It’s okay. Hopefully I'll be won by someone who can keep her hands to herself.” He wiped his hand across his face. “I know it’s for charity, but I'm really not excited to be up there in front of all those people, getting bid on like a bull at auction.”

  I pressed my lips together in order not to laugh. When I had my mirth under control, I pointed out what I thought was the obvious. “You didn't have to agree to it.”

  “Uh, yeah I did. It’s my building opening. I have a business presence in town and this is how the town has chosen to raise funds for the nippers’ program at the surf club. Donating money wouldn't have gotten me nearly as much goodwill as doing this. I know all you see is the positives, but some of the folks in town have been grumbling about how I've desecrated an icon. I need them to see I only have the best intentions for the town.”

  I made a face. “Really? I haven't heard that at all. What do they want? For it to be sitting there, unused and rotting? Idiots.”

  He shrugged. “Some people don't do well with change. They want everything to stay the same and have ideas about how the town should continue quietly chugging along. What they don't realise is that if they want young people to move back to small towns, they need jobs. And for towns like Emerald Cove, many of the jobs revolve around tourism. It's just the way it is.”

  “That's silly. Everything changes. You could argue the definition of life is change.”

  He studied me a moment. “Could you?”

  “Of course. Every day is different. Everything changes. We only need the seasons to show us as much.” If I wasn't comfortable with change, I'd never get anywhere with my businesses.

  He eyed me. “What about your plans? Do they ever change?”

  I furrowed my brow. “Yes, of course they do. You of all people should know that businesses never run perfectly. Depending on others for resources, freak accidents like the time the workroom flooded in my old premises, glitches in computer software, birds in the shop. You've got to be adaptable to be successful.”

  Matt huffed a laugh at the bird comment and took a sip of his tea. “What about your life plans?”

  My heart suddenly beat hard in my chest. What was he getting at?

  “I can't imagine that you, of all people, don't have any life plans. Are they up for negotiation? Are you flexible?”

  “Yes, of course,” I said. This was getting too deep for this time in the morning and the big emotions I'd been wrestling with all morning were getting out of hand. I didn't want to have this conversation with him, and I didn't know why he wanted to have it with me.

  He was leaving. End of story.

  I had two businesses to run. I had no time for a long-distance anything. I barely had time for a fling.

  I checked my watch. “I need to go. One of my local stockists is meeting me at the shop in twenty minutes.”

  I pulled my feet from Matt's lap and stood. I knew I was being abrupt but I was hanging on by a thread. Once I threw myself back into the online consulting as well as running the florist, I'd be so busy I'd barely have time to even think about Matt. But with him in front of me, the intimacy of the moment, the early morning light making his eyes brighter and highlighting the definition of his impressive torso, I was liable to blurt something completely inappropriate. I needed to get out of there.

  He shrugged and scratched his chest, his features shuttering at my dismissal. “I probably should get in there early too, make sure everyone is on track and help with any last-minute preparations. I can be ready in ten if you can wait. I'll drive you in.”

  I shook my head. “No, I might need my car. You stay here, have a shower, some breakfast, make yourself at home.” It wasn't exactly a lie because I might need my car at some point. I also knew I needed a little more space from Matt than my morning routine had allowed before I could get my feelings under control. The fact was, no matter how I felt, he was leaving, and I had one business that was opening today and another temporarily on hold. I'd said it before and I'd say it again—I simply didn't have the time. I had to carve time out for him by putting one of my passions on hold, for goodness sake.

  “Okay, I might go upstairs and get ready.” He stood and leaned in for another more chaste kiss. “You okay?”

  I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

  His eyes narrowed a moment, and I hoped he'd interpret my mood for nerves and distraction about the opening. Eventually, he moved to the kitchen counter where he'd dumped his shirt, wallet and keys last night. “I'll see you there, yeah?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, see you soon.”

  Shortly after he left, I hustled out the door to my car to start my day.

  Chapter 23

  I walked through the shop, noting every little detail as I went, feeling confident at what I saw. The Little Flower Shop had come together into the most perfect, Instagram-able way I could have imagined. Earlier in the week and unexpectedly Matt, his Dad and Jim all turned up to help with the painting which meant, with Tash and I working too, we got it done in half the time. Before we'd even finished the painting, Camille was back with Mum, Joy and Matt's sister, who—true to her word—sat herself and her very pregnant belly at one of Andy and Luke's café tables and opened boxes of vases, candles and boutique homewares.

  Anxiety was soon eclipsed by elation as I realised my volunteers were more than happy following my instructions rather than attempting their own styling. With the help of Camille, who was not only thoroughly familiar with my vision (having added more ideas to my Pinterest board than I had) but who was also the classiest of anyone I knew, the Little Flower Shop was complete and ready for action..

  I moved into the workshop and stood by the worktable, where I'd left a half-finished bouquet while I'd taken a delivery. As I lifted a creamy pink rose to add, Matt's words from this morning filtered through my head.

  I can't imagine that you, of all people, don't have any life plans. Are they up for negotiation? Are you flexible?

  I still didn't know what he was getting at. Was he suggesting my plans should change? Maybe he was thinking about asking me to move to Sydney? I knew he had plans of becoming a small scale property developer, renovating and either selling or renting out spaces like he's done with the Old cinema and the property my florist was originally in. But right now there was no way he could say no to partner in his firm. I didn't know a lot about these things, but I imagined the money alone would be enough to set him up for the rest of his life. If he kept his living expenses low, he could probably retire before he was forty on the kind of wage a partner in an engineering firm that size would earn.

  Was he seriously considering asking me to sacrifice my career? My businesses? I'd say no, of course. I knew I had bitten off a little more than I could chew by running both, but I had plans to step back from the florist once it was running successfully and promoting Camille to store manager, if she wanted it.

  Matt had been very interested in A Woman's Touch when we talked about it earlier in the week. He'd been impressed with how I'd created a business plan I could scale up effectively while still affording me a level of flexibility—unlike a brick-and-mortar store like my florist, where I had to be on the premises a lot.

  We'd shared a lot during the week, actually. He'd told me about his time in Sydney, and I couldn't help but feel sad that his l
ife seemed to revolve around his job to the extent he didn't have many close friends outside work anymore. He really lit up when he talked about his goal to start his own business renovating properties then either selling or renting them out. It had been much more hands-on working with the Old cinema and the property where my florist had originally been located.

  It seemed as if nothing was off limits. Nothing except for when he would return to Sydney. I hadn’t wanted to know. Fear held me back.

  Fear he would think I was anxious to know when we were ending. Would we continue a long-distance relationship? I didn't like the idea but increasingly the thought of saying goodbye to him made the elephant heavier on my chest. It seemed he felt the urgency too, if his probing questions this morning were anything to go by. We'd certainly made the most of whatever this was before we were forced by circumstance to end it.

  The only silver lining I could see was I'd no longer have the timing conflict between my businesses and a relationship. Despite the exhilaration of spending time with Matt, I felt as if my professional pursuits were stagnating. My clients had been left to fend for themselves. I was anxious to get back to planning my online course, which I wanted to launch later in the year and expand the community I was growing.