Rugged Cowboy

by Elana Johnson

  She’d thought Dallas would admit Martha to a treatment center today, as they’d discussed. She wasn’t expecting Martha to be at Dallas’s at all.

  Jess turned back to the house, and it seethed with tension, pulsing it out into the atmosphere like a heartbeat. She took a deep breath and stepped inside, closing the door behind her. For good measure, she locked it. That way, Thomas and Remmy would have to ring the doorbell.

  She found Dallas faced off with Martha in the dining room. She sat at the table, looking worse today than she had last night. He wore pure anger on his face, and Jess was actually afraid of him for the first time.

  He hadn’t been in Miami for very long, but he’d come back a different man.

  “We’re back.” She looked between Dallas and Martha, her eyes wide with worry.

  “Where are the kids?” Martha stood up, looking around wildly for them. Her hands shook, and she looked like she’d painted red circles around her eyelids.

  The air held no oxygen, and Jess felt like she was suffocating one breath at a time. It was a slow, agonizing pain that spread through her whole chest.

  “You can’t see the children when you’re like this,” Dallas said quietly. He still hadn’t looked at Jess. “Martha, you need help. If you go to the treatment center, I’ll bring the kids to see you as soon as you’re clean. It’ll only take a few days.”

  Jess hated the soft, kind way he spoke to her. She wanted the anger and frustration she’d heard in his voice only a few minutes ago to reappear, because this woman deserved it. Those two emotions built inside Jess, and she clenched her fists so she wouldn’t do something she’d regret later.

  Martha screamed, and she flew toward Dallas. He flinched away from her but still managed to catch her along her forearms so she couldn’t hit him. “Martha,” he said, his voice hard. “Stop it. Stop it now.”

  Jess’s emotions surged, and she had absolutely no idea what to do. The level of helplessness inside her threatened to drown her, and tears filled her eyes. “Dallas,” she said while he continued to grapple with Martha. There was no way for him to hear her above Martha’s incoherent ranting, and Jess felt like she’d entered a horrible, terrible movie that certainly couldn’t be real.

  She blinked, and the situation didn’t change. It absolutely was her reality.

  “Stop it,” Dallas said again, and he managed to get Martha back into one of the chairs at the table. “We’re going right now. You’ve lost your ability to make rational decisions, and I’m doing this for your own good.” He finally met Jess’s eye and added, “There’s a bag beside the couch. Will you get it, please?”

  She scampered over to the couch and picked up the benign bag. She wondered what he’d packed for his ex-wife’s visit to a drug treatment facility, but Jess wasted no time opening it to see. She quickly pulled out her phone and texted Mrs. Clyde.

  We have to run an errand, she said. Could you keep the kids? I’ll call Nate and have him come get them.

  Before Mrs. Clyde could answer, she dialed Ginger. “How’s it going there?” Ginger answered after only one ring.

  “Not good,” Jess whispered. “Can you and Nate come get the kids? They’re at Mrs. Clyde’s next door. The white house with the green door.”

  “We’re leaving now,” Ginger said, and relief and gratitude painted Jess’s insides. She wanted to be the kind of person who dropped everything when those she loved needed help, and Ginger had always been such a great example of that.

  Jess looked back at Dallas, who had crouched down and was pleading with Martha. Actually pleading with her.

  Fury rose within her, and something snapped. “Let’s go,” she said. “Right now, Martha.” She marched over to the woman. Jess had trained horses to do exactly what they didn’t want to do. She could get this woman into the car and then a treatment facility.

  Dallas looked at her with fear on his face, but Jess didn’t care. “Now,” she barked. “You’re coming with us.”

  “I’m not,” Martha said.

  Jess grabbed onto her chair and turned her to face her. “Listen, Martha,” she said, her voice colder than she’d heard it before. This woman represented everything keeping Jess from her future, and she wasn’t going to take her insolence for another minute. “There are two choices here. You get up and come with us to the treatment facility. You’ll stay there for the entirety of the program, or we’ll have you arrested. You’ll get clean. You’ll get to see your kids—who you do not deserve to see ever again.” She raised her eyebrows, silently challenging Martha to argue with her. She didn’t.

  “And once you’re done with that, you’ll find a way to reenter society as a functioning human being. Maybe you’ll get a job. A place of your own. You’ll get to see Thomas and Remmy if the judge allows it. All of that.”

  Martha glared at her, and Jess knew she’d be dead if the woman’s eyes had been equipped with lasers.

  “Your other choice is to sit there and continue to be ungrateful for all this man has done for you. That’s fine. You can choose to do that. I’ll call the police and have you arrested right now for child endangerment. You’re so out of it that they’ll keep you in jail until you’re sober, and that transition isn’t going to be pretty. No one in the county jail is going to care, and you’re going to have to manage your withdrawals all by yourself, huddled up on a mattress against a concrete wall.”

  She straightened, the fire inside her burning too brightly. She needed to pull back a little bit. Martha was still Thomas and Remmy’s mother, and Jess pictured those two amazing children as she studied Martha. “You won’t see your kids if you choose this option,” she said. “You’ll get out in a few days, by which time Dallas will have petitioned the judge to make sure you never see those kids again. Ever.”

  She stepped back to Dallas’s side. “Your choice.”

  “Who is this woman?” Martha asked, her tone as icy as Jess’s. She stood too, and for one terrible moment, Jess thought she’d lunge at her and start swinging. Dallas even stepped in front of her to shield her from Martha.

  “Go,” he said. “Martha, go get in the car.”

  The three of them stared at one another, and Jess reached a breaking point and then hung on for another minute. Finally, Martha turned and stomped toward the garage exit. The door slammed behind her, and Jess crumpled to the floor, sobbing.

  “I’m sorry,” Dallas said, kneeling in front of her and gathering her into his arms. “I’m sorry, Jess. I’m sorry.”

  She clung to him, needing the extra support for just a few minutes. Then she gathered herself together and stood up. She wiped her face while Dallas got Martha’s bag. “I can take her.”

  “We’ll go together,” Jess said, because she wasn’t sure Dallas had what it took to get Martha inside the treatment facility. They had way more history than Jess even knew, and she had no idea what he was going through.

  They did go together. Jess had to threaten Martha one more time to get her inside the facility, where she wailed and screamed and begged Dallas not to do this to her. In the end, the nurse asked Dallas to leave, and he turned and stormed out of the building.

  Jess finished the paperwork and took the packet out to Dallas in the SUV. “The kids are with Nate and Ginger,” she said, her voice somewhat robotic.

  “I just talked to him,” Dallas said, and he sounded so exhausted. Jess felt it deep in her bones, and she didn’t say anything as he drove them out to Hope Eternal Ranch.

  As they passed the sign, Jess wondered if hope really was eternal. Could it really go on and on? Was she a fool if she continued to hope for that new normal Dallas had spoken of only a few days ago?

  She didn’t know. She did know she couldn’t go in the West Wing and act like everything was okay. She didn’t want to get out of the safety of this SUV and face anyone or explain anything.

  He parked in front of the fence, and they sat in the car, silently.

  “I’m going to go to Montana for Christmas,” Jess said.
She’d already decided to go. Her airfare had been booked for twenty-four hours. Her mother had cried when she’d called to tell her she’d be there. “You’re going to River Bay, right?”

  “Yes,” he said.

  She nodded, so many things pinching tightly inside her. “I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds with Martha,” she whispered. “I just couldn’t take another moment of you begging her to get help.”

  “It’s okay,” he said.

  Jess got the distinct impression it wasn’t, and she felt so stupid for inserting herself into his business. She opened the car door and hesitated. “So I’ll see you when I get back?”

  “Yes,” he said again, his voice just as reserved, his demeanor just as calm.

  “Okay,” she said. “Merry Christmas, Dallas.” She got out, her feet crunching on the gravel, and closed the door behind her. This was not the holiday celebration she’d had in mind when she pictured Christmas with Dallas as her boyfriend.

  She’d taken a few steps toward the opening in the gate before he said, “Jess?”

  She turned back to him and ran her hands up her arms, because the night had grown late, and a chill rode in the air. He came toward her in that strong, sure gait he had and wrapped her up in his arms.

  Her emotions surged again, but she bit back the tears. She’d already dissolved in front of him once tonight. She would not do it again. He kept her tightly against his body, and she needed the strength of his arms to hold herself together.

  “I’ll go get the kids,” she said, her voice nasally. She stepped out of his arms and walked toward the house. Inside, the scent of cinnamon and chocolate met her nose, and she suspected that Emma had made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies with the kids.

  Sure enough, a wire rack held at least a dozen, and Remmy poked her head up from the other side of the couch. “Jess,” she said. Both she and Thomas got up and came toward her, wrapping their arms around her simultaneously.

  “Hey, guys,” she said, enveloping them into a hug too. She stroked their hair, thinking Thomas might not like it. But he just clung to her too, saying nothing. He really didn’t talk much, and Jess often wondered what was going on inside his mind. He’d gone to therapy that day, but he’d literally not said one word about it.

  “Your daddy’s outside,” she whispered. “Let’s go see him, okay?”

  Thomas led the way, and he ran to Dallas, who scooped him up and hugged him tight. Remmy called, “Daddy!” in her cute drawl and ran toward Dallas too. He laughed as he picked her up in his other arm. They hugged him as he closed his eyes and smiled into the night sky.

  Jess watched from the corner of the house, a sense of love and admiration for Dallas filling her. She’d never felt like this before, and she honestly didn’t know what to do with the feelings.

  He turned and helped his kids get settled in the SUV, and then he looked back at her. He started toward her, but Jess didn’t want to have another hard conversation. She just wanted him to go be with his kids. They were why he’d gone to Miami. They were why he’d done everything he’d done in the past three months.

  “Thank you, Jess,” he said when he reached her. He took her face in both of his hands and dipped his head to kiss her. All the tension in Jess’s muscles bled out, and she kissed him back, the sure knowledge that she was falling more in love with him right there in the forefront of her mind.

  “There she is,” a female voice said. “Jess!”

  She turned right and found her sister, Abi, waving vigorously through a crowd of people. Jess’s tears appeared again, and she was so tired of them. Who cried like this?

  She swiped at them as she maneuvered her carryon through the crowds of people obviously trying to get to loved ones for the holidays. She finally reached Abi, and they hugged, Abi laughing and hopping up and down a little bit. “You’re here. Oh, you’re here.”

  She exhaled and stepped back, holding Jess at arm’s length. “You look so good, too. How are you?”

  “Good,” Jess said, only a touch of a lie in the word. “Where is everyone else?”

  “Dad wouldn’t park and come in,” Abi said with a frown. “He hasn’t changed in that regard. Mom convinced him to go down to the gas station and get a couple of candy bars. Nia’s back at the ranch, cooking up something for dinner. Huey’s going to meet us there.”

  Jess nodded, and together, they walked over to the baggage claim area. Jess had decided to visit for ten days, but as she walked outside, she’d forgotten she wasn’t in Texas anymore. She sucked in a breath, which froze her lungs together.

  “Holy cow,” she said as her teeth started chattering. “I need my coat.”

  “Dad’s right there,” Abi said, but she flipped up her furry hood and cinched it tight to keep the wind out. Jess thought she might freeze to death before their father’s enormous black truck pulled to a stop at the curb.

  Her mom spilled from the front seat, half-laughing and half-crying as she rushed Jess. They hugged, and Jess decided to just give up on holding back the tears. These were her parents, and she hadn’t seen them in a long time.

  “Dad,” she said as he crushed her in a hug too.

  “It’s so good to see you, Jess,” he said. “So good.” He beamed down at her, and he was just as large as his truck. Square shoulders and big muscles though he’d cut back on his work around the ranch. “Let’s get out of the cold.”

  “Yes, please,” Jess said. “It’s at least a hundred degrees warmer in Texas.”

  “I’ll bet it is,” her mom said. “It’s been clear for a few days now, after a big storm. They’re the coldest days of the year.”

  Jess could feel that chill sinking all the way into her bones. She got in the back seat with Abi and looked at her as their dad loaded Jess’s bags into the back of the truck. She picked up Abi’s left hand. “Still no ring?”

  Abi heaved a big sigh and shook her head. “Honestly, I’m not sure it’s going to happen.”

  “It is,” their mother said from the front seat. She twisted all the way around, and Jess could only smile at her. She loved her mom, and she’d inherited the same crooked smile and the same dark complexion her mother had.

  “Ready?” Dad asked as he climbed behind the wheel.

  “Yep,” Jess said, and she looked at Abi and then her mom again. “What?”

  “Abi says you said you were seeing someone.” Her mother looked so hopeful, and Jess once again thought about that elusive thing called hope.

  Jess shot a look at her sister. She had mentioned Dallas in a text. A single text, and not by name. “Yes,” she said, seeing no reason to deny it. “His name is Dallas Dreyer. He’s the mechanical manager at the ranch.”

  “Dallas,” her mother repeated. “Sounds very Texan.”

  “Okay, Mom,” Jess said with a laugh. “It’s just a name.” She looked away, out the window, because she didn’t want to talk about Dallas.

  “That’s all we get? His name and where he works?”

  “Mom,” Jess said.

  “Come on,” Abi said, and Jess suddenly felt ganged up on. Even her father met her eye in the rear-view mirror, and it was clear he wanted to know more. Jess supposed she hadn’t told any of them very much about her relationship with Dallas, and she probably should. If only they weren’t currently in the middle of something extremely trying.

  “What else do you want to know?”

  “How’d you meet him?” her mom asked.

  “At Ginger’s wedding,” Jess said. “He’d just wiped up the floor, and I came running out in a new pair of boots. I slipped and fell, and there was Dallas.”

  “He can’t have been working at the ranch for very long then,” her father said, and Jess sometimes wished he wasn’t so quietly observant.

  “No, just for a few months,” Jess said. “He’s smart, and good with his hands. He can practically see the schematics of an engine and seems to know right where every part goes.”

  “I’m surprised he’s not a cowboy,” Abi sa
id.

  “He wears the hat,” Jess said. “Rides the horses. His kids love them.”

  Silence permeated everything, including the surprise on her mom’s face.

  “He has two kids,” Jess said, backing up. “Thomas is ten, and Remmy will be seven in a couple of weeks.” She still hadn’t sketched out an idea for a princess cake, because she’d simply had too much going on.

  “He’s divorced then?” Abi asked.

  “Yes,” Jess said, and she definitely wasn’t diving down into that pit of snakes. It really was too bad there was another one in front of it. “His wife, uh, filed for divorce and left the kids at her sister’s house when he only had a few months left on his prison sentence.”

  “Is he—?” Her mother’s voice muted as her brain caught up to her ears.

  Jess looked out the window again, suddenly done talking about herself, her relationship with Dallas, or anything else really. “I’m tired, guys,” she said, closing her eyes. She wished some of the painful situations she was dealing with would go dark as easily. “Can I tell you more later?”

  “Leave her be,” Dad said quietly as her mother pulled in a breath to surely ask another question, and Jess experienced a powerful sense of gratitude for her good father, and she kept her eyes closed the rest of the way to Bozeman and the ranch where she’d grown up.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Dallas wished the truck in front of him would step on the gas already. He’d left the ranch late, and he needed to stop and get the tacos for Remmy’s birthday. Once this party was over, Dallas didn’t have anything on his calendar until Martha’s treatment program ended.

  He’d survived Christmas with the kids, and they’d enjoyed a quiet morning at home with plenty of pretty, wrapped presents. He’d made blueberry pancakes and told them how his mother had made them every Christmas morning for him and his siblings growing up.