Darkest Pattern- The Door

by Riva Zmajoki

  My husband always called you frivolous but I was charmed by your ways and am always glad to see you.

  If you feel that your life needs new meaning in this old age of ours, I suggest the charity work.

  It brought me much joy and you know what they say, a charitable Lady brings comfort wherever she goes.

  Sadly, our society today is harsh and unforgiving.

  I had heard that you freed your slaves.

  The company I was in when I heard that news was full of disdain and judgment.

  I’m ashamed to say that I stayed quiet but in my heart, I knew that you did it from the goodness of your heart.

  If I was alone, without my husband to handle all the ugly necessities of our help, I think that I would do the same. Or at least I hope that I would have your strength.

  I was so glad to hear from you.

  Did you know that I became a grandmother for the second time?

  With love,

  Chalice.

  10.0 A Protective Shell

  Josephine sold three more parts of her land leaving the house to stand on the narrow land and the park before it. She did that without regret. There was no son for whom she would have to save anything. She gave the leave-pay to her remaining servants and letters of recommendation for those few friends she had left, the un-conquered ones.

  “Why this?” Tricia wanted to know.

  “If the men with torches com,” she said calmly. “So you won’t run out in the dark without anyone or anything. I owe you at least that.”

  “They’ll just take it away from us,” Cynthia said grimly.

  “Sow them in your undergarment. Men do many things but they rarely take away undergarments. That way your papers and money will be safe.”

  Afterwards, they were even more sorrowful. They were a sad household but that was necessary, there was no point in pretending that the chase isn’t gaining in on them and they didn’t move, they waited.

  When the moment came, Josephine was ready. There were four runaways in the back room when Santos, their delivery boy ran in.

  “The men are coming,” he yelled. “They are carrying torches. The patrolmen are among them. Run!”

  Everyone ran around. Josephine stayed calm.

  “Don’t forget the food and water,” she said loudly. “You might be in the woods for some time.”

  The runaways ran out in the night one by one. Josephine took a moment to hug each of her three remaining servants.

  “Don’t follow the runaways, go in the opposite direction. Get to the road as soon as you can and then act normal,” she said to them. “No one is chasing you, you’re just searching for work.”

  “And you?” Eddy paused at the door.

  “Don’t worry, I have my own way.”

  They waved and disappeared in the night. Only Santos remained and observed Josephine.

  “What are you waiting for?” Josephine pushed him out. “Run.”

  “I’m waiting for you,” he said firmly. “Grandma sent me to make sure you’re safe.”

  Josephine froze doubtfully but just briefly.

  She looked at Santos’ face for the first time really looking at him and she could see traces of Belva on his features.

  Belva still cared. She sent her grandson to take an eye on her. Josephine paused but she was too old, there was no surviving for her anymore. It was enough. Where would she go? What would she do?

  “Go to your grandma and tell her that I’m not going, I have nowhere to go. I did my bid and I know how to face them. Go away.”

  He looked at her hesitating but then ran off into the night fast and agile.

  “A grandson. You’re blessed, my dear.”

  Josephine closed and locked all the doors pushing furniture before them. Those were useless measures but it’ll give her time. She took petrol from the storage a slowly covered the curtains and the furniture making the trail all the way up to her room. There she threw some more on the curtains. The effect will be spectacular.

  Her White Phoenix will burn. It was a pity that she won’t rise out from the flames clean and new.

  She went upstairs and put on her battle dress. In a surge of mischief, she took out all of her jewels and decorated herself with them. She’ll go out in style.

  After that, she sat in the armchair. She waited for them with her pistol in her lap. It took them awhile.

  Josephine wondered who gave them away in the end. Did they catch runaways or did the Major-Domo talk? It didn’t matter, they found out somehow.

  Despite her decision, the tension started to rise in her chest. It became almost unbearable. She breathed deeply, unevenly and perspired. She hoped that her fingers won’t slip on the trigger. She’ll only have one shot.

  When she heard the first voices, she realized that she still wanted to live, she wanted to live with fierce desire. She suppressed that feeling with all determination that she had left. It was enough. She can’t go on. There was no reason to persist.

  All she brought into this world was trouble, nothing else.

  When the first rocks went through the windows she rose her pistol with her trembling hands and pressed it under her chin.

  Josephine closed her eyes. In the last moment, she hoped that all of those prayers are worth something, that they don’t go into the void. Then she heard the door open and there was no time anymore.

  She pressed the trigger but it was harder than she expected so she had to press harder her slippery trembling fingers.

  That was enough for her hand to be slap away the pistol from her chin while she pressed the trigger. There was a loud bang. The bullet ended up in the ceiling. The plaster fell to the floor. Josephine’s hand hurt from the tug of the pistol. She was alive.

  “You idiot!” there was a sneer beside her ear. “I didn’t give you that to hurt yourself but to defend off intruders.”

  Belva was at the meeting point by the cliff when Santos came to her breathless.

  “The rumour is spreading through the town,” he said. “They talk about runaway slaves on the street and how the house of sin will give them shelter. The crowd is gathering. They still just talk but I think they will move soon.”

  “Warn them,” she wrote. “Get everyone from the house out. The mob has no mercy to anyone. Bring the station master to me. I’ll be by the shed.”

  She went to the familiar woods and walked the path of which she thought of often.

  The dark became thick as she waited to wonder was Santos there on time.

  Soon the steps came and Santos emerged from the dark.

  “Where is she?” Belva was upset.

  “The station master lady? She stayed. I watched, as you instructed, all her servants fled but she said to me that she’ll stay behind to face them.”

  “I told you to bring her!” Belva shouted.

  “What can you do? When those crazy white men came they’ll just spare her. They have nothing on her, she’s white. I wondered why she sent all those servants away. Probably to spare them humiliation. They’ll be fine. Let’s go.”

  “Have you no compassion?” Belva was mad at him. “After everything she did for us, she’s still just a white lady to you? Your skin isn’t all that black. Stay here, I’ll be back with her.”

  “But they are near now. I can see the torches. Let’s go, don’t be silly.”

  “If I don’t get back, before they come, leave,” she said and ran into the darkness searching for the secret door hidden behind the shed.

  She ran through the corridor thinking how she’s already too late. Santos was right, she should have stayed behind but what would life be for her if she lets her lady burn. If she abandons her to face the angry mob on her own.

  She ran stumbling in the dark but soon the light appeared on the walls showing her the way.

  The knob was soon under her palm.

  She entered and paused before the scene.

  Her lady held Belva’s pistol under her chin. The world paused Belva’s voice
was lost but she could still move. She jumped forward and slapped the pistol away from her beautiful face.

  The pistol went off hitting the ceiling but her lady was still alive.

  “You idiot!” Belva was furious at her.

  To think that she would end by Belva’s own weapon was just beyond hurtful.

  Josephine opened her eyes and faced the angry beautiful dark eyes. Her eyes teared up.

  “Let’s go,” Belva said firmly. “The bang slowed them down but they’ll recover in a moment.”

  “Where?” Josephine said barely audible against the noise around the house.

  “Through the passage of course. Come on, hurry up,” Belva pulled her up to her feet.

  Josephine complied without any agency. Her pistol fell to the floor with a thump. That sound woke her up. She had a plan. That made her stop complying.

  “No,” she said to Belva. “Go without me.”

  She looked at Josephine with rage that showed depth Josephine hadn’t seen before.

  “How do you mean no? I didn’t come here in vain in the middle of the danger. We don’t have time for strokes of madness.”

  “No,” Josephine repeated. “I have nothing to do out there. No one needs me. I serve no purpose. I don’t deserve to live. I don’t deserve love.”

  “But you have that,” she said mildly. “Come on.”

  “No,” Josephine shook her head. “I don’t have love.”

  That made Belva stop pulling her and turn around.

  “And why do you think I came here for you despite the danger?”

  “Because you owe me,” Josephine said flatly.

  Belva shook her head.

  “No.”

  “Then why?” Josephine said flatly, she barely breathed.

  “Because…” she started but then just pulled her close, hugged her and kissed fiercely.

  Josephine’s breath restarted itself, her heart started beating and warmth returned to her body. It was as she returned from death.

  Belva moved her lips away.

  “If you stay so do I,” she said wildly looking at Josephine’s eyes and Josephine believed her.

  There was a sound of boots on the stairs and there was no time anymore.

  “No,” Josephine pushed her. “Let’s go, go.”

  Josephine threw the candle on the curtain before Belva pulled her into the passageway.

  “The pistol,” Josephine remembered.

  “Leave it,” Belva closed the door and they ran through the passageway towards the freedom.

  Belva could see the men under the window. They were already banging on the closed door, the windows were shattered.

  She pulled her lady on her feet but then she resisted her.

  “Go without me,” she said and Belva couldn’t believe her ears.

  Did she go mad while Belva was gone?

  “I don’t deserve love,” Josephine said and Belva felt soft inside forgetting about the men outside of the door.

  “But you have that. Come on,” she pulled her towards the exit.

  “No, I don’t have love,” Josephine insisted and Belva stopped feeling defeated.

  Her lady thought of Belva so cold that she was here just because of debt, an obligation like she was a sergeant in an army and not a conductor of a railroad. On the railroad no one was left behind, everyone mattered.

  Everyone mattered but Josephine wasn’t a part of her railroad, she wasn’t a runaway and she was fair to ask Belva why she came.

  “Because…” she tried but her words weren’t enough, they never were so she pulled her lady near to kiss her right like their lives depended on it and they did.

  The bang started on the steps.

  Belva pulled away feeling the fire burning inside of her.

  “If you stay so do I,” she said and meant it.

  The world outside didn’t matter. She gave enough of herself to it. Before her lady the whole world was nothing.

  “No, let’s go, go,” her lady decided for them to live so they fled.

  Before she closed the door Belva could see the flames and how they hungrily ran up eating the drapes. She hoped that the fire will cover up their escape.

  As they ran through the darkness Belva held her lady firmly. If there was life for her out there her lady had to be a part of it because there was nothing in this world like her. Every single thing was grey and dull while she was away but with her, by Belva’s side, the world again seemed tangible like something worth saving.

  Josephine stumbled in the dark but Belva held her hand firmly and didn’t let go. They emerged from the darkness of the passage in the darkness of the woods. The only light came from Josephine’s cage that was now all lit up in flames.

  They ran for some time more but then Josephine started to slow down. Soon they stopped.

  Josephine looked back.

  “What?” Belva was still faced forward.

  “Did you mean it? The thing in there? You didn’t do that just to get me out?”

  Belva made a step back and enveloped her hands around Josephine’s waist.

  “For a vicious seductress, you are quite insecure,” she said with a smirk and gently caressed Josephine’s cheek, down her neck and calmed her palm on the top of Josephine’s cleavage.

  Josephine shivered but she resisted. She won’t be overpowered so easily. Touch means nothing. Everyone loves to be caressed. Josephine shook her head.

  “It’s easy to give out brave statements in a room behind closed doors, but the world is something else. You’ll throw me away.”

  “And why would I do that?” she sneaked her hand in the edge of her dress, Josephine sighed. “Opportunities for love don’t come to me daily. Besides, we’re both old now. You’ll see how little do people care for our bodies and what we do with them.”

  Josephine sighed suddenly hopeful.

  “And we’ll just become older,” she said happily not believing that growing old brings her happiness.

  Being old now seemed like a protective shell, invisibility of its own kind.

  “That’s right,” she moved in even closer.

  Josephine attacked her lips and her hand found its way to Josephine’s cleavage. Her other hand went around her waist and found its way to Josephine’s skin. Josephine moved away from all flustered and surprised.

  “That’s what this opening is about,” she said feeling how her hand slid inside of her dress effortlessly.

  “Well,” Belva said cunningly. “I thought of my own needs while I made it. Let’s go,” she placed a light kiss upon Josephine’s lips. “Or we won’t have an opportunity to do it all again.”

  Belva pulled her hand out of Josephine’s cleavage but left the one on the waist safely tucked in, pressed against Josephine’s skin.

  “Let’s go,” Josephine agreed and looked for the last time upon the flame that could be seen through the trees.

  That sight of her burning cage didn’t bring her regret but some kind of a wild glee. She had the strength to carry on, to face another change. Maybe she even had strength for a life that isn’t just surviving.

  “Come on,” Santos’ voice came from the dark. “Where did you get stuck blabbing away?”

  They laughed and Josephine let her turn her towards the darkness.

  The hand inside of her dress slid a bit deeper and ended on her hip. That filled Josephine with warmth.

  Josephine held Belva around her waist tightly. She felt what she didn’t in ages. She felt the joyful anticipation of that what is to come. She did look forward to the unknown.

  10.1 Without Flames

  Charcoaled House

  The luck had it that on one trips into the town Ina started to talk with some slaves waiting before the market to be sold.

  Sue went in the store to buy supplies and Ina was left with her father outside.

  When she exited, Sue was horrified. Ina was drawing in the dirt directions to the mansion of their mistress.

  “She will help you,�
� Ina said and Sue hurried to erase the drawing and grab Ina.

  “What?” her husband said confused. “It’s a silly game. Why are you getting all flustered about that?”

  “It’s not a game,” Sue pulled him away from the store. “Walk on and shut up. If anyone asks she just said some gibberish and nothing was drawn.”

  “I just told them to get free,” Ina said.

  “I know dear but if you want us to be free don’t repeat that, to anyone.”

  “But how will they know,” Ina insisted.

  “Mommy will tell them,” Sue said looking behind. “How soon can we leave this place?”

  “Leave?” her husband was confused. “I have to go and see my uncle. I have accounts to settle with him. We can’t just leave.”

  “Then just leave us in a room and we’ll wait there.”

  “You’re being silly, that was just a child being imaginative. Your mistress might be strange but she wouldn’t help criminals like that.”

  Sue stopped in the middle of the step and looked at him fiercely.

  “Criminals? Who did they hurt? From what I see they are the ones on whom the crime is being committed against.”

  “Calm down dear,” he looked around. “I’ll get you settled and then go talk to my uncle. We’ll go out of here as soon as possible but you remain calm and everything will sort itself.”

  Of course, it wasn’t. Soon, there was a knock on her door and the patrolmen on them.

  Carol’s excitement was lesser when he knocked on the fourth house in a row.

  Lady of the house Cecilia opened and let him through.

  “Of course, good reliable help is always needed,” she said. “I almost forgot about you when your mistress wrote me a letter. It seems that she’s on her way to redemption. That is good. I’m glad to see that you’re on the path towards recovery too. You’ll know how to keep my youth from being too outwardly.”

  Carol nodded and kept careful to keep his engagements away from Cecilia’s ears.

  Still, one day she summoned him.

  “I have regretful news to tell you,” she said seriously.

  Carol sat upright he feared that his affair with her niece came to her attention.

  “The house of sin burnt down,” she said instead.