I sighed. I knew that in his mind it made a lot of sense. But I was Jewish, and for me he was an aggressor, a representative of the nation who came up with the idea to exterminate the people I belonged to. We would never understand each other. Why then did I feel so strangely sensitive to his presence while he stood there, over me, almost touching my hands with his, far too close than a chief should stand next to his subordinate? I could swear that he smelled my hair as he took a deep breath straightening up behind my back. And then Georg walked in, and I was glad that he distracted me from the very controversial emotions I started to experience. I tried to concentrate on what I was going to report to Ingrid.
Chapter 10
I was helping Heinrich with his tie as we were both getting ready for work. He already had new insignia on his uniform jacket, and I thought once again what a handsome officer he was. After I finished fixing his tie, he smiled gratefully at me and kissed me on the lips.
“What would I do without you?”
“I don’t know. Probably you’d have found yourself another pretty ballerina and married her.”
“I wish you still were a ballerina and didn’t have to do what you do now.”
“You just miss seeing me dance on stage all dolled up.” I pinched my husband on a cheek, trying to lighten up the serious subject with my little joke. “Now let’s go over the plan of me becoming friends with Standartenführer Schellenberg again.”
Last evening after Magda left and it was just the two of us in the dining room, we started working on me getting back at least a partial position as Walther Schellenberg’s assistant. Our American friends from the Secret Service were more than happy with our reports, and especially Heinrich’s, after his recent appointment to the position of the Chief of Department responsible for the American sector. My husband informed the Americans about every single possible threat discovered by his agents, and Ingrid once even told Heinrich that one of the ‘very important’ US generals announced Mr. Friedmann the most valuable counterintelligence agent.
Since Heinrich was reporting to Standartenführer Schellenberg on a regular basis and because the two were on very friendly terms, we decided that inviting the Chief of SD-Ausland to lunch to Heinrich’s office (where I would happen to be by ‘pure coincidence’) would be a perfect plan for me to offer him my services of a part-time secretary. It would mean that I would take all the paperwork he needed help with to my house and bring it back the next day filed, decoded, translated or whatever he wanted me to do with it.
The main goal of that mini-operation was to regain access to all those reports of which Schellenberg wouldn’t even inform his immediate boss Dr. Kaltenbrunner, bringing them right to Reichsführer Himmler with whom he was getting along far better than with the Chief of the RSHA. I had already proven myself to be an efficient and trustworthy assistant to Standartenführer, and no matter how hard we tried, neither my husband nor I could find any possible reasons why the Chief of SD-Ausland would reject my offer.
He didn’t. On the contrary, it seemed like Herr Schellenberg was more than glad to hand me a part of his correspondence, on one condition from my side – that my helping him would be absolutely confidential and no one, especially my immediate boss, would know about it. He agreed with a smile.
However, in the following couple of weeks Standartenführer Schellenberg’s daily visits to my table (normally at the end of the day, when he would discretely hand me a small portfolio containing top secret reports, with which he didn’t trust anybody, even his own adjutant), started to irritate our very easily irritable superior – Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner. One day, when he happened to be leaving his office earlier than usual and saw Walther Schellenberg leaning on my table and talking to me, it got him really mad.
“Don’t you have anything better to do than bother my secretary all the time?”
Herr Schellenberg straightened out before his superior, but did it with visible reluctance.
“I wasn’t bothering her, Herr Gruppenführer. We were discussing some matters concerning the reports I brought. I was instructing her on what to do with each one.” He was a great liar.
“Herr Schellenberg, it seems to me that you forgot your position in this office.” Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner menacingly squinted his eyes at his subordinate. “I’m the Chief of the RSHA, not you. Therefore, you are not to discuss and definitely not to instruct my secretary about anything. It’s my job to tell her how to handle the correspondence.”
“I was just trying to make your job a little easier.” Walther Schellenberg gave Dr. Kaltenbrunner the fakest charming smile I’d seen. The latter’s jaw line hardened; he was definitely not in the mood for joking.
“I appreciate the effort, but don’t bother next time. And if you need to bring anything to my office, send your adjutant. It’s really not necessary to bring the paperwork to my secretary personally.”
“What if I don’t trust my adjutant? He always loses something.”
“Well, he’s a shitty adjutant then and needs to be fired. Get yourself another one and have him do the job. Understood?”
“Yes, Herr Gruppenführer. You’ve made yourself more than clear.”
“I’m glad I did. I hope we won’t be having this conversation again.” With those words Dr. Kaltenbrunner turned to me and nodded at the papers I was working on for him for the following day. “Frau Friedmann, put the rest of my correspondence in the folder, please, and help me bring it to my car, will you?”
“Of course, Herr Gruppenführer.”
He could have taken it himself of course, but he obviously didn’t want me to stay in the company of my former boss, so I quickly put all the paperwork together and got up from my chair. As all three of us were leaving the office, I politely nodded at Standartenführer Schellenberg.
“Goodbye, Herr Standartenführer.”
“Goodbye, Annalise. Herr Gruppenführer.”
I knew that he called me by my first name on purpose, just to aggravate his superior even more, and he more than succeeded. If looks could kill, than the one that Dr. Kaltenbrunner threw at the Chief of SD-Ausland would leave from the latter only a tiny pile of ashes. I followed Dr. Kaltenbrunner all the way to the car in complete silence, and only when we were alone in the garage, he all of a sudden decided to interrogate me in a manner that even my lawful husband never did.
It turned out that Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner was thinking that the friendship between the Chief of SD-Ausland and me was more than just a friendship, and almost accused me of having an affair with Standartenführer Schellenberg. I was standing in front of my very angry boss, holding the files next to my chest and blinking at him, not able to believe what he was saying.
It took me quite some time to persuade Dr. Kaltenbrunner that there was nothing going on between me and my former superior, and only the argument about such kind of relationship being physically impossible just because I was coming to and leaving the RSHA with my husband and the rest of the time spending in his, Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner’s, anteroom finally made him believe me.
“Well, despite the innocence from your side, I’m still convinced there’s a reason that bastard is bothering you. Has he been saying anything suggestive to you? If he has, I’ll immediately let Reichsführer know about his unprofessional behavior and make him take certain measures.”
“It’s not necessary, Herr Gruppenführer.” The only person who always says or does those kinds of things is you! Why don’t you go make a report about your unprofessional behavior? “He hasn’t been saying or doing anything, I promise.”
Even though he didn’t seem to be satisfied with such an answer, Dr. Kaltenbrunner at last got over his jealousy fit and took the papers from my hands. His chauffeur had just came down to the garage and was hurriedly approaching us, but before getting in the back seat of his car, my boss turned to me again.
“If he does, let me know immediately. I won’t tolerate anybody harassing my secretary.”
“I will, Herr Gruppenführer.
Have a good evening.”
“You too, Frau Friedmann.”
I waved to the leaving car and decided to walk out of the garage as well to get some air. I’d never had to deal with scenes of jealousy before and this one, which wasn’t even coming from my own husband, left me speechless. The cold March air made me rub my shoulders with both hands, but at least freshened me up. And then, just before I turned back to the entrance, a woman standing on the opposite side of the street for some reason attracted my attention. Maybe because she was standing motionlessly unlike all the other people hurrying home from work, maybe because I felt as if she was staring at me hard, but I squinted my eyes at her trying to decide if I knew her. The scarf covering the lower part of her face wasn’t helping; however, as soon as I made a move towards the opposite side of the street, she quickly turned around and walked away.
_______________
“I’m going to be leaving at the end of this week,” Heinrich announced at dinner.
I knew that something was not right because he was too quiet on the way home; after we got married he never had to leave me alone and took me with him on all his trips. But this time was different. I wasn’t a housewife with more than a flexible schedule anymore, and couldn’t leave my work at the Reich Main Security Office whenever I pleased.
“For how long?”
“Several days, a week maximum. I have to go to Italy, to set up some connections between ours and the Italian intelligence agents.” He motioned Magda to pour him more wine and smiled at me. “Don’t be upset, sweetheart, you won’t even notice that I’m gone.”
“Yes, I will.” I knew that I shouldn’t have, but I wasn’t even trying to hide that I was upset and put away my fork. “And I always wanted to go to Italy! It’s not fair!”
“Stop pouting like a little child.” Heinrich smiled at me. “You know that I would have taken you with me if I could. But your boss enjoys your company way too much, I don’t think he’ll let you go so easy.”
I chuckled at the very truthful joke, and rubbed Rolf’s ears, as he sat on the floor next to me. I was glad that the huge German shepherd was going to keep me safe while my husband would be gone. I didn’t know why but I didn’t want to stay all by myself in our big house.
In two days Heinrich packed a small suitcase, kissed me goodbye and left to Italy. I started missing him as soon as he closed the door behind himself. The situation at work wasn’t making it any better: the Warsaw ghetto uprising started to get on the Führer’s nerves, and he demanded the immediate resolution of the problem as it was hurting the image of his Reich through all possible means. Needless to say, Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner was the one to ‘take care’ of it and wasn’t happy about it at all.
He dealt with the stress by his favorite stress relief means – alcohol – and would start pouring himself a healthy glass of brandy as early as ten in the morning. By some strange coincidence, it made him think much clearer than his non-drinking subordinates, who were running around like chickens with their heads chopped off, and soon he outlined the plan for taking the ghetto back under the Waffen-SS’s control.
That day Dr. Kaltenbrunner was nursing his drink even while dictating to me the orders concerning the ghetto, and by the time that we finished (way past the regular five o’clock), he was already quite drunk. I wisely decided to keep my mouth shut and not to agitate him by any speeches concerning the fate of the poor habitants of the ghetto, or about him needing to slow down with brandy. The Austrian, just like most of them, had a very short fuse and bad temper as it is, and triggering him by my usual preaching would be pure suicide.
When Walther Schellenberg showed up later with a report though, I knew that a storm was coming. In the Chief of SD-Ausland’s case getting his superior angry was more than easy – he just had to show his face in Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner’s office. I sighed as soon as I heard the latter raise his voice more and more, and even Georg decided to run for cover ‘to fetch radiograms.’ I shook my head: some men were such cowards.
In less than five minutes I heard my chief yelling even louder, but when the sound of glass breaking accompanied the yelling, I just silently prayed that he didn’t kill Standartenführer Schellenberg: after all, he was a nice guy and I needed him to get the information for my American friends. The door to the office swung open, and the Chief of SD-Ausland quickly made an escape before the next glass could hit its target.
“If I were you, I would have gone home,” he said to me walking through the anteroom and nodding at Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner’s office while making circles with his index finger by his temple, clearly implying that my boss wasn’t in his right mind to put it mildly.
I considered such an option for about ten seconds, but then got up, took a deep breath and opened the door to Dr. Kaltenbrunner’s office. He was smoking next to the window and didn’t even turn around. The mess next to his table was impressive: I guess that he also threw papers at Herr Schellenberg prior to aiming a brandy bottle to his head. The bottle itself, broken in a million little pieces, was lying next to the opposite wall. I shook my head again and went into the Chief of the RSHA’s personal bathroom to get a towel. I picked up the biggest pieces of glass and wiped the rest of the liquor with a wet cloth.
“Don’t bother. They’ll clean it later,” Dr. Kaltenbrunner finally said.
“Before they do, you’ll step on it and cut your foot,” I replied without turning around. “And stop smoking for Christ’s sake, it’s impossible to breathe here.”
Without asking for permission I walked up to the window behind his table and opened it, and then the second one, next to which he was standing, slightly swaying on his feet and looking at me closely.
“You should go home and get some rest, Herr Gruppenführer. I’ll go wash this towel and after that I’ll tell your driver to wait for you in the car.”
He didn’t say anything, so I took his silence as a ‘yes’ and went back to the bathroom to clean the towel and my hands. Because of the running water I didn’t hear him come in, and he scared the living hell out of me by tightly wrapping his arms around my waist.
“What are you doing?!” I screamed and tried to worm myself out of Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner’s embrace, but he just pressed me hard against the sink with his body. “Let me go!”
“No. You look so pretty today. I want you.”
He started kissing my neck and unbuttoning my uniform jacket at the same time. He distinctively smelled of alcohol, and only then I realized how much he must have really drank. I desperately tried to push his hands away, but he was far too strong for me, and it appeared that he had a lot of experience in relieving ladies of their clothing.
“Well, I don’t want you, so get your hands off me this instant or I’ll make a report to Reichsführer on you!”
“I couldn’t care less about Reichsführer. I want you. I need to touch you again, I missed you.”
He shoved his hand under my jacket and grabbed my breast, pressing me even closer to himself. His other hand he put on my throat, trying to make me turn my face towards him. I couldn’t loosen his grip even with both of my hands.
“Let go of me!”
“No. You’re mine now.”
Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner tried to kiss me, but I jerked my head to the opposite side, pressed both hands into the sink, and tried to push him off with my behind. It was a bad idea.
“Stop fighting with me, silly girl, it won’t help you. It just makes me want to fuck you more.”
He bit my neck and yanked the jacket off me. I was still trying to get his hand out of my chest, but he pushed my hands off and ripped my shirt open. I started panicking and screamed. The Chief of the RSHA laughed.
“Scream all you want, sugar. Nobody’s going to help you here. As for me, I even prefer my girls screaming.”
No matter how much I tried to stop him, he still pulled my bra up and started feeling up my bare breasts, pushing me against the sink. I frantically looked around trying to fi
nd something to hit him with, but there was nothing. I was absolutely helpless and alone there. Even if Georg came into the anteroom, he wouldn’t get involved in his chief’s business.
There was no way I could make Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner stop either. He was too drunk to think what he was doing; right now he was thinking only about satisfying his instincts. He was petting my hip through the skirt, and rubbing himself on my behind, biting my neck and shoulder. I slapped his hand when he tried to pull up the hem of my skirt, but he caught my wrists together and, holding them in one hand, still pulled my skirt up.
“No!” I yelped once again, when Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner pushed me down onto the sink with the weight of his body until I was almost laying chest down on it, while he was grabbing my butt and thighs with his free hand.
“I swear, you have the most perfect ass I’ve ever seen!” He pushed my legs apart with his knee and placed his foot next to mine so I couldn’t put them back together. “Oh, sugar, I’ll make you feel so good!”
He probably would have had such an opportunity, but Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner was really drunk, and made one mistake: he couldn’t open his pants with one hand and had to let me go for a couple of seconds, which was more than enough for me to turn around and smack him across the face with all the strength I had. My chief clearly didn’t expect such a move, and froze in his place looking at me in surprise. I decided to use his astonishment in my favor, pushed him out of my way with my shoulder, quickly snatched my jacket up from the floor and ran out of there while I could.
In the anteroom, already by the door, I readjusted my clothes the best and fastest I could and, holding my jacket close with both hands, ran towards the garage, where Hanz was already waiting for me. He frowned seeing me in such disarray, and asked if something happened. I managed a smile, nodded and lied that I spilled coffee on my shirt and completely messed it up. He believed me and stopped further questioning.
First thing I did at home was change and call Ursula. She heard by the sound of my voice that something wasn’t right and ten minutes later already knocked on my door. She had to bring little Greta with her, because her housekeeper was busy making dinner and couldn’t watch the little girl at the same time. I immediately dragged Ursula to the library, further from Magda’s ears.
The Girl from Berlin: Gruppenführer's Mistress Page 17