“What’s going on? You sounded so worried on the phone, is everything alright?” I was touched by the genuine concern on my best friend’s face, but first I needed to make sure that I could rely on her.
“Not really. I’ll tell you if you swear not to tell Heinrich or your husband.”
She was looking at me with her big blue eyes wide open.
“I’ll keep quiet if you want me to. But what happened that you don’t want Heinrich to know?”
I sighed. It was more difficult to say than I thought it would be.
“It’s Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner. He got very drunk today, cornered me in the bathroom and tried to…”
Ursula’s brow furrowed, but she still didn’t grasp it. “Tried to… what?”
“Have sex with me!”
She forced me to say it, and it came out louder than it should. Ursula gasped.
“No!!! Did he really?!”
“Oh yes. And if he wasn’t that drunk and I didn’t have a chance to escape, he most definitely would have. Now you understand why I asked you not to tell anyone? If my husband finds out, he’ll shoot him. And if you tell Max, he’ll tell Heinrich right away.”
“Oh my God!” She covered her mouth with her hand, still not able to believe what I just told her. “Your secret is safe with me, I promise, dear. But don’t you think you should tell someone? How are you going to go back to work?”
“I’m not going back to work. I’ll bring the papers asking for my resignation tomorrow morning and make him sign it. And if he refuses, I’ll tell him that I’ll go to Reichsführer with the report.”
“You think it’ll scare him?”
“No. But that’s the only option I have.”
“How did he even… why?”
“I don’t know. He had to move to Berlin a month and a half ago, his wife and all his mistresses stayed in Austria. So he got drunk, was feeling lonely and I happened to be around I guess.”
“That is not an excuse!”
“Of course it’s not.”
“Did you tell him that you were not interested in taking up the position of his next mistress in Berlin? I mean, did you say it clear enough for him to understand? You know how they, men, are: they don’t take hints.”
She obviously underestimated the gravity of situation with Dr. Kaltenbrunner.
“Ursula, I was actually screaming while he was holding my hands and pulling up my skirt.”
Now she finally understood, because she covered her mouth with both hands and was staring at me without even blinking.
“Oh God! You poor thing! How did you manage to get out?”
“He released my hands to undo his pants, so I turned around, slapped him as hard as I could and ran out of there.”
“Good! Let it be a lesson to him!”
“He won’t learn it anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
I wasn’t saying anything, but Ursula understood me without any words.
“He tried it already with you, didn’t he? It wasn’t a single occasion.”
I slowly shook my head.
“Annalise, you should tell Heinrich! You can’t take such a chance! I’ve heard so many stories from Max, that chief of yours, he’s capable of anything! And if he already did it before, he’ll most certainly do it again, until he gets what he wants from you.”
“Don’t you think I know it?”
“Talk to Heinrich!”
“No. He’ll shoot him.” I rubbed my forehead and closed my eyes. “Just do me a favor, keep quiet for now, will you? I’ll figure out what to do tomorrow.”
“Do you want me to stay with you tonight? We can tell Max that you’re afraid to sleep alone, and we can both stay in your house so you feel safe.”
“I have a gun in the drawer of my nightstand. I feel safe enough. But thank you for the offer anyway. I’m sorry I dragged you out of your house, I was just panicking. I’m fine now.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I really am. Go back to your husband, he must be looking for you already.”
Ursula got up, carefully picked up sleeping Greta from the couch and looked me in the eye.
“Don’t hesitate to call us, even in the middle of the night.”
“Thank you, Ursula.”
She gave me a slight hug in order not to wake Greta up, and followed me to the front door. Magda was already shifting from one leg to another next to the dining room waiting for me to tell her to serve dinner. I had no appetite at all, but didn’t want to offend the girl, and nodded to her with a smile.
_______________
It was the first morning in a very long time that I walked inside the Reich Main Security Office wearing a regular dress and not my SS uniform. If I would still be working, I would have been two hours late, but I didn’t care this time. I walked straight to Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner’s office, passed surprised Georg and opened the door to my chief’s office without even knocking. He was talking on the phone, but froze in his place as soon as he saw me. I walked to his table and put the paper I brought with me in front of him.
“Sign it.”
“I will have to call you back,” he said into the receiver and quickly hung up the phone. I noticed with great pleasure that he was visibly embarrassed to see me. “Frau Friedmann…”
“I’m not here to talk to you. Sign it.”
He picked up the request to immediately relieve me of my duties and looked at it.
“What is it?”
“Since when are you reading the orders that I put on your table? You’re so good at signing them without even looking, what makes this one so different? Sign it fast, and I’ll be going. I can’t stand even being in the same room with you.”
“Frau Friedmann, I’m really sorry about yesterday, I was too drunk to even think about what I was doing! I would never do something like that if I was sober…”
“You already did!!!” I yelled at him without a care in the world that his adjutant next door might hear me. I was too mad. “You are such a terrible, disgusting person, you don’t care about anybody or anything except yourself and what you want at the moment! You’re a controlling and despotic psychopath, that’s what you are! Sign my resignation right now, because I don’t want to see your face ever again!”
“Frau Friedmann…”
“No. We’ve had this conversation before. You know what, I don’t even care if you sign this order or not, I’m not working here anymore, put me in jail for leaving my position in the time of war, because I would rather go there or even to a camp than spend another day in your company! Goodbye, Herr Gruppenführer!”
I turned around and walked out of the office even though he was calling my name. I didn’t forget to slam the door on the way out. Georg looked at me with his mouth open, but didn’t even find anything to say. I said goodbye to him as well and left the RSHA office.
Chapter 11
I was in the Gestapo jail where I’d already been before, in the basement of the same RSHA building where I used to work. This time I wasn’t scared at all, and was sitting on the table instead of a chair waiting for my interrogator to come in. When he entered, I smiled at him. Dr. Kaltenbrunner, very handsome in his green SD uniform. He walked up to me and I opened my legs so he could stand between them right next to me.
He grinned at me, picked up my chin and kissed me, deeply and possessively, and I kissed him back with the same desire, pressing my chest next to his. Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner was caressing my legs that I wrapped around him, until he picked up my skirt all the way up to my thighs and moved my hips closer to his. I was so aroused by the way he was touching me everywhere that I started to unbutton his uniform jacket and shirt, I wanted to feel his strong body under my fingers, I wanted to touch him everywhere as well. And then I lifted up my face to his and kissed him again.
Gruppenführer Kaltenbrunner put his hands under my skirt and pulled down my underwear, until he got it completely off me. I laid on the table in front of
him and tugged on his shoulders, making him cover my body with his. I wanted him so badly that I could hardly wait for him to make love to me. I inhaled sharply when he entered me, and started moaning louder and louder as he was moving harder and faster inside. And when I couldn’t take it anymore, I arched my back and screamed his name.
“Ernst…”
I heard my own voice hardly whispering from a side. It sounded strange. And then I opened my eyes and found myself in my own bed, in the middle of wet sheets. I quickly sat up and rubbed my eyes, shaking off the rest of the most impossible dream I could ever have. My breathing was still very hectic and my whole body was covered in sweat. I slowly put my hand under the covers, between my legs; I was all wet there too, as if I was really making love to my former boss all night. That was the most disturbing part.
What the hell is wrong with me?! Why did I even dream that in the first place? I hate him. I absolutely hate him. He’s a perverted sadist. After what he did to me two days ago I probably hate him as much as I hated Heydrich.
But deep inside I knew that it wasn’t true. I didn’t hate him like Heydrich. I didn’t even hate him like Ulrich Reinhard, who also tried to get to me several years ago. Reinhard was disgusting to me, but Dr. Kaltenbrunner was anything but. As a matter of fact I was attracted to him, in some twisted and absolutely irrational way, but I was.
The sound of the phone ringing interrupted my thoughts. I stretched my hand to it and answered, “Yes?”
“How’s my beautiful wife doing this morning?”
“Heinrich?”
“Do you have another husband?” He was laughing at me.
“No, of course not.” I smiled into the receiver. “Your voice just sounds strange.”
“The connection is not so great here, sorry about it. Is everything alright with you? Max told me you didn’t come to work yesterday, I started to worry that something happened, but didn’t want to call you too late. I thought that you might be sleeping already.”
“Oh, no, I’m fine, just a little cold, that’s all.” I faked a little cough, and immediately felt ashamed for lying to my own husband. I still had no idea how I would explain my resignation to him. “Nothing to worry about.”
“Are you sure? Do you want me to call our doctor so he could come and check on you?”
“No, don’t bother him with this, it’s nothing serious, I promise.”
“Alright then. I have to run now, I just wanted to hear your voice to make sure you were fine.”
“I am, sweetie. Thank you for calling. I missed hearing your voice.”
“I miss you too, sweetheart. I’ll try to call later today if I get a chance. I love you!”
“I love you too, dear.”
I hung up the phone and went to the shower. I stood under the running water for a long time, shameful thoughts running through my mind after Heinrich’s call and my more than unexpected dream. If I didn’t want to confess to myself that the attraction between me and Dr. Kaltenbrunner was mutual, the sub consciousness in me just pointed the ugly truth out. I did feel different in his presence, I did like it when he would stand very close watching me type his letters, I did like the way he was looking at me, as if undressing me with his dark eyes. It excited me. I didn’t like him drunk or rough, but what if he touched me gently? What if he would hold me like that night when we were dancing together? What if he approached me differently? Would I still say no? I was a terrible, terrible person, and an even more terrible wife, as I wasn’t sure of what my answer would be.
Still preoccupied with my thoughts, I dried myself with a towel and put on a silk slip and a robe on top of it; I was going to spend all day home and didn’t feel like dressing up just for Magda and my dogs. I had just sat down in front of my dresser and started to comb my hair, when I heard a horrible scream coming from my back yard. I immediately jumped to my feet and ran towards the window.
It was Magda screaming; she was standing on the steps leading to the back entrance of the kitchen. There was something laying in front of her, but I couldn’t make out what it was. Even though the girl was there alone, I grabbed the gun from under my pillow where I’d kept it all night and ran downstairs. She met me halfway in the hallway, and by the look on her face I knew right away that something bad had happened.
“Frau Friedmann… It’s Milo. It’s so… horrible!” She was clenching to my arms all shivering and sobbing. “Don’t go there… let’s call the police, I’m begging you!”
“Milo?”
I pushed the crying, hysterical housekeeper away and rushed to the door, feeling the growing cold of fear inside my heart. But when I opened it, I had to cover my mouth with my hand not to scream myself. By all means I wasn’t prepared to see what appeared before my eyes: the lifeless little body of my poor old Milo, his fur and the steps all covered in blood from the huge cut on his neck. And next to him, right there on a marble column, in blood: “You’re next. R.”
I stepped away not able to avert my eyes from the terrifying view, and slowly sat on the floor. Hot tears were streaming down my face, and I squeezed tightly my gun. I couldn’t understand who would do such an appalling thing, who would hurt an innocent animal to send a horrifying, bloody message to… who? Heinrich? Me? Both of us?
I pulled my legs to my chest, wrapped my hands around them and started crying, loudly and inconsolably. I wished they killed me, and not my little Milo. He was such a kind hearted dog, a loyal and loving family member from the happier times, when I lived in my old house with my family, when my parents were so young and happy, and my brother was still alive, and now my last piece of that old carefree life was gone, ripped away from my heart forever, leaving an open hurting wound instead.
“Frau Friedmann… what if they’re still here?” Magda was still trying to catch her breath in between the sobs. “What if… what if they come back? Let’s call the police, please! I’m really scared!”
I wished that they’d come back, so I could put all the bullets I had in my gun in their worthless bodies. But Magda was right, we had to call the police anyway. After all, there was a most definite threat left for us, and besides I wanted more than anything to find the bastards who did it. And then all the Gestapo tortures would seem like a children’s game next to what I’d do to them. I got up from the floor, pushed away Rolf who came running from upstairs and was howling quietly trying to get to his dead buddy. I told Magda to lock him in one of the rooms so he wouldn’t be under our feet and went to the phone to call the police.
The Kripo – regular criminal police arrived together with the Gestapo, probably because I mentioned that both my husband and I were working for the RSHA, which transferred the case under the secret police jurisdiction. After quickly looking around, the ‘black coats’ completely dismissed the regular officers, taking the investigation under their control. I didn’t mind, if it meant more efficiency in finding the scumbags who killed my dog.
They were asking me a lot of questions: if I heard anything suspicious, if my husband or I received any threatening calls or letters recently, if we had enemies or if someone had a motive to harm anyone of us. I kept shaking my head in reply, finding myself in the same confusion as the investigators. Apart from being counterintelligence agents working for the US, which would give a motive to kill us both to this very Gestapo, I really couldn’t think of anyone capable of such a heinous crime. But the Gestapo wasn’t leaving any warnings, they were executing people without any complicated tactics.
What did signature ‘R.’ mean? Someone’s name? Last name? Nickname? Organization? Just a letter to complicate the investigation and throw it off track? The ‘black coats’ were very interested in that bloody ‘R.’ on the column. They asked me to make a list of people I knew whose name was starting with R and who could have a motive to kill Heinrich or me.
In about an hour during which they were busy taking pictures and dusting everything for fingerprints, an unexpected visitor arrived – the ‘black coats’’ chief, Gruppenführe
r Müller. He seemed genuinely upset by my tragic loss and kept shaking his head and pursing his lips looking at the crime scene.
“And they call us torturers and animals! We fight with the enemies of the Reich! My people would never hurt an innocent soul like that. What a shame! It must be that Resistance, goddamn sons of bitches!” He quickly remembered that I was standing next to him and immediately apologized for his outburst. “I’m sorry, Frau Friedmann, I didn’t mean to offend you. I have two dogs myself, I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. I would have killed that waste of life right on the spot if someone did it to my dog.”
“I would have killed them too, Herr Gruppenführer. Trust me.”
“Don’t worry. We’ll find them. No one threatens a family such as yours, so devoted to the Reich, without being severely punished.” Gruppenführer Müller sympathetically patted my shoulder. “Your husband is still away, right?”
“Yes. He’s still in Italy.”
“I’ll leave four of my agents to guard your house around the clock then. You’ll be absolutely safe till he arrives.”
“Thank you, Herr Gruppenführer. I appreciate it.”
“Don’t even mention it, Frau Friedmann. I’m just following my duty.” He saluted me, but at the door he turned around and added, “And don’t worry about your boss, I’ll explain everything to him. I’m sure he won’t mind giving you leave for a couple of days. Goodbye.”
I was just going to say something in protest, but he had already left.
_______________
I was making coffee myself because Magda was too shaken up by the events earlier that morning, and I decided to let the poor girl go home. I looked out of the window once again, and saw one of Gruppenführer Müller’s people in plain clothes smoking outside. Another one was patrolling the side where the library was, and two others the back yard. For the first time in my life I was welcoming the presence of the Gestapo in my house.
The Girl from Berlin: Gruppenführer's Mistress Page 18