Betrayed

by Kritika Sharma

  “I love you, Ishana, so much,” he spoke, but my mind was totally numb. For a few seconds I was unable to comprehend what the hell was happening. He was molesting me! He was aiming to rape me! Even Dev had not violated my body to this extent…

  His touch brought nothing but disgust in me. He was tugging at my breasts now, but when he tried to push his finger into my vagina, I found my consciousness. I jerked his hand away, but he pushed harder.

  “What?” he groaned as he made me turn. Ignoring the tears that were running non-stop, ignoring the horrified look on my face, he pulled me closer and lifted my kurta. Hastily, he started undoing the string of my pajama when I found my voice.

  “NO! PLEASE, NO!” I screamed and started looking for something that I could use to hit him. Anything that could come to my aid.

  “Quiet, Ishana,” he ordered, angrily, and clasped my mouth with his hand. “NOOOO…” I heard my own muffled screams, and he pushed me onto the bed.

  Scream, Beg or Punch

  The moment he pushed me onto the bed, I started screaming for help and begging him to stop.

  “Scream, beg or punch, but this is happening, Ishana, today and now, so it’s better that you get along!” Kunal muttered, as he undid his pants and dropped them. I covered my face in shock and I felt him unclasp my hands.

  “Feel me, Ishana, this is for you and only you!” he hissed, as he pulled my hand towards him. I was not sure what he meant or what he intended to do. But when I opened my eyes, I met the horror of my life. He was naked waist down. His penis was fully erect, and he was forcing my fingers near it. If this was his way to lure me to sex, then he was wrong… I was not feeling drawn or attracted towards him, instead, I was repulsed. A sickening feeling overpowered me and the moment he was about to make my fingers touch his filth, I fisted them and pulled my hand back with all might. An incensed look appeared on his face; I realized he was deranged and demented.

  “Why, Ishana, why?” he muttered in a disturbed tone and started pulling my clothes.

  “No, let go of me!” I howled with a mixture of pleading and anger.

  “HELP! HELP!” I cried at the top of my voice. Maybe that girl Shruti would come to my aid. I cried again as he started to pull down my pajama.

  “NO! Please STOP! HELP!” I was praying, screaming, begging, all at the same time…

  And finally, help came!

  Someone pounded heavily on the door.

  “What?” Kunal barked, angrily. He had pulled my pajama down till my knees. I used his momentary halt to pull it up and pushed him with all my might.

  “Open up.” It was a man’s voice, and he sounded furious. He pounded door harder. Angry, and hesitantly, Kunal got up from the bed and opened the door. The keys were in a vase next to the door – how come I hadn’t seen him drop them there?

  The girl from before, Shruti, and another boy entered the room. The boy was bare-chested and in his boxer shorts, whereas Shruti was in the same dress as before. “What are you doing?” Shruti demanded as she soaked in the entirety of the scene. Kunal was all haphazard and naked. I was lying on the bed – trying to get up – and I was all scared and tearstained.

  “None of your business,” barked Kunal.

  “If you plan to rape a girl in front of us, then you are so wrong, dude,” the man threatened Kunal. “And put on your pants, nobody is really getting turned on by your tiny penis!” His last words finally made Kunal realize that he indeed was naked. He quickly pulled on his pants and looked around.

  “I am not raping anyone, she is my girlfriend,” Kunal defended himself.

  “And it doesn’t give you rights to have sex with her forcefully,” Shruti spoke, helping me sit up. “Look at her; she is barely a teenager.”

  “One slut defends another,” Kunal mocked, and before I could even react, the man punched him hard in his face. “Speak another word about my girlfriend, and you will regret that you are even alive,” he hissed, leaning on Kunal. Taken aback, Kunal just stood there.

  “You okay?” the man asked me earnestly. For the first time, I looked at his face. He was tanned and had exotic features. He was extremely handsome, and he was my savior. I owed my life to him.

  Shruti caressed my hair and repeated the question. I realized I was staring at her boyfriend, but she didn’t take it the wrong way. “Are you okay, sweetie?”

  I shook my head in denial. Tears had already been leaking from my eyes, but now I started sobbing and howling like crazy. Shruti hugged me and consoled me.

  “Ishana, I…” Kunal spoke, but the man hit him again.

  “Try and talk to that girl again, I swear I will kill you!” he barked. I looked at them, Kunal was bleeding from his nose, and there was a murderous look on the man’s face.

  “Get out!” he snarled, and Kunal gave me a last, hopeful glance. I was still sobbing.

  “I will not leave my girlfriend with you, what if you do something to her?” Kunal spoke, though his voice was trembling with fear. The man just glowered unbelievably at him. But at these words, Shruti got up and slapped Kunal across his face. “You have the audacity to accuse someone of rape? When you were about to rape this poor girl?” she pointed.

  “I know his reputation,” Kunal started, but Shruti gave one hard knee-to-groin kick to him. Kunal fell on the floor, bawling with pain. I wished I had given this kick to him.

  “He just saved this poor girl from a monster like you. You sick bastard.” And spitting on him, she dragged me out of the room.

  Present Day in the Bar

  Ravi was staring open-mouthed at Ishana. He just couldn’t believe his ears. Kunal, the good guy, who loved her, cared for her and adored her to every extent tried to rape her.

  The memory of that day, narrating those horrifying moments, brought tears in Ishana’s eyes. She had never been so scared like she had been that day. Ravi handed her a napkin and she wiped her face.

  “I am glad you were saved,” he whispered softly after a moment. She smiled at her pain.

  “Who was that man, by the way?” he enquired, solemnly.

  “I would love to know the same; I never saw the guy or Shruti ever again,” she informed, simply. They saved her that day. They were there for their intimate moments but hearing her pleas and cries they had decided to intervene. After Shruti had kicked Kunal, they had got dressed quickly and dropped her home. She had never been so grateful in her life, but sadly, she had no way of thanking them or showing her gratitude.

  “I just can’t believe Kunal did that,” Ravi spoke, angrily. “I mean he was supposed to be the good guy!”

  “He was dying,” Ishana murmured, and Ravi had the most sarcastic look on his face.

  “Oh, he was lying, wasn’t he?” he concluded, and she just sighed. “Well, lying or not, alive or not, you have no right to rape a girl!” he continued with a scowl.

  “Or anyone for that matter,” she added, and he nodded.

  “I wish I was there to help you back then,” he hissed, and she smiled.

  “I wish I was courageous enough to help myself back then. Now as I think back, there were so many ways I could have fought back and saved myself. I could have stopped that molestation, harassment when it had started, but I was just frozen! Guess I was that dumb and stupid,” she finished, angrily and emptied her glass.

  “No, you were not dumb and stupid, Ishana. You were innocent!” Ravi’s declaration made her laugh.

  If that was the way innocence was treated, maybe we should strip every child of it the moment they are born!

  One Last Letter

  School Life – Year 2001

  That day, after I had controlled myself and stopped crying, I informed my mother that I was quitting my job. As predicted, she was shocked and devastated. She had been relishing the money I brought home, and it could be seen in her make-up and jewelry. Seeing a constant, unquestioned income stop made her vindictive.

  This time she not only beat the hell out of me, but she also added numerous chores t
o my list. Earlier, I was only doing household tasks in the morning, but, now, she made me cook lunch in the morning, snacks after school and dinner after coaching. She also made me do the dishes and laundry. I hardly had any time to study or sleep, and she did all this under my father’s nose. So many times I wanted to let my father know what was actually happening in his house, but I stopped. I didn’t want to disrupt their happy married life.

  It took me almost a week to speak up about this unforgettable incident. When I finally found the courage to narrate it to my friends, they were speechless. I could see hurt, anger, fury, rage, and all other emotions of hatred boil on their faces. They wanted to say so much but didn’t, instead, Shiva just hugged me and whispered, “I am glad you are safe.”

  Ten days post that wretched day, we saw one of Kunal’s friends outside our coaching class. Without a word of greeting, without a smile or any emotion, he handed me a letter and left. I didn’t know this friend personally, but I had seen him hang out with Kunal a few times. I felt the letter sting my fingers and I had no courage to open it up. I was about to crumble and throw it away, but Shiva ripped it from my fingers and read it out loud.

  Ishana,

  I am so sorry for what I did. I don’t know what came over me that day. I am truly ashamed of my actions and I don’t even have the courage to face you now. I was insecure about the fact that Dev had more of you than me and I wanted to change that. I was wrong, and I am truly sorry.

  Please believe me when I say that I really am sick and I just wanted your touch and memory to take with me. I thought that the memory of us together would act as motivation for me to come back alive. I know I shouldn’t have forced myself on you. I made a mistake. I am sorry again.

  By the time you read this, I will already be in a hospital in Delhi for my heart surgery. Please don’t hate me, because owing to your hatred my operation might fail and I may never wake. Doctors’ have said that it is going to be a very complicated operation and my chances are less than 25%.

  I love you my Ishana, from the moment I saw you for the first time. I am sorry for calling you a slut! It was in the heat of the moment. I promise, if I come back to you, I will cherish you and your love forever and will never speak that filthy word again.

  If I recover well, I should be back in two months’ time; can you please find it in your heart to forgive me by then? My friend Nisha will stay in touch with you; she has your number. She will keep you updated with my health status. I hope that would be okay.

  Please forgive me, Ishana.

  I love you, and if you can’t forgive me, it would be better if I don’t come back ever.

  Yours and only yours,

  Kunal

  A Month or Two!

  “Please tell me you are not considering forgiveness for that bastard?” Shiva barked, the moment she finished the letter.

  “How dare he!” were Sarv’s only words as he snatched the letter and read it on his own.

  “What are you thinking?” Shiva demanded.

  “What if he really is sick and he did all that in desperation?” I spoke my mind, and though Shiva raised her hand in anger, she didn’t slap me. I didn’t even flinch at her action, I was little too used to getting slapped. She fisted her fingers and spoke, “You are not as dumb as this bastard thinks you are. This is a hoax.” She pointed at the letter.

  “What if it is not?” I demanded.

  “You can’t be this naïve to fall for this shit!” Sarv tore the letter in a million pieces and threw it aside.

  “People do disastrous things when desperate.” I defended Kunal.

  “Yes, he was desperate, but only as a rapist,” snarled Shiva. “We will prove it to you,” Sarv added in a similar tone. I just hung my head. I didn’t know what to do; my heart wanted to believe Kunal’s words, but my mind was raging with anger. How dare he molest me? How dare he grab me? How dare he exposed his thing and tried to make me touch it? Yuck! I had told my friends everything except for that part. I didn’t know how they would react to the news that I actually saw it!

  Kunal’s friend Nisha started calling me every third day with updates. She started with how he was admitted, then how he was under observation and so on. She paraded about his restricted diet and how he was sorry and missed me.

  “You see, she always says ‘hospital’ and never the name,” Sarv pointed out one day. I had been updating my friends about these calls on a regular basis. They demanded to know the name of the hospital one day. And coincidently, the moment I asked for it, Nisha diverted the topic and said that ‘last night he got critical and they had shifted him to the I.C.U.’

  “She made it up!” Shiva bellowed when I told them about Kunal’s condition. “I really don’t know what to do with you Ishana. Sometimes I feel I should hug you pitifully for your innocence, and sometimes I feel I should kill you for your stupidity.”

  Next time Nisha called, I repeated the same question. She tried to divert again… she started pointing at the miserable condition of Kunal. How he was suffering in the I.C.U., and how nobody was allowed to visit him. “He is all alone, Ishana and this is the worst. Because all he can think of now is how he behaved with you,” she whispered.

  Shiva did hit me when I failed to get the name of the hospital again. Shiva and Sarv had been calling every single hospital in Delhi to find out about Kunal. But there were just so many that it was very difficult for them. “You have to get the name, Ishana,” Sarv begged with folded hands.

  “This time we will get the name,” Shiva spoke sternly, and she meant it. Because after that declaration, she stayed with me at all times. If I was home, she was home with me. If I went, she went with me. We waited for four days this time until Nisha called again.

  “Do you forgive him?” were her first words this time. Usually, this was the last statement, but today she led with it. I stayed silent. Shiva had pressed her ear to the handset and was listening.

  “He is going into surgery tonight,” she continued as she met my silence. Shiva mouthed me the words ‘name of hospital’.

  “Which hospital is he admitted in?” I asked simply.

  “Why does it matter?” Nisha demanded, angry.

  “Because we want to send flowers,” Shiva pulled the handset from my hand and barked.

  “Who is this?” Nisha was shocked with the change in voice. Now I was pressing my ear to the back of the handset.

  “I am Ishana’s friend. Why won’t you tell us which hospital Kunal is in? Or is that a fake hospital?” she hissed, venomously.

  “It’s not fake!” Nisha stammered a bit. “You just can’t send flowers to the I.C.U.”

  “Name of the hospital,” Shiva grunted.

  “AIIMS,” muttered Nisha, and Shiva slammed the phone down, disconnecting it.

  “What, she told you, didn’t she?” I complained in alarm.

  “We called AIIMS two weeks ago; there is no patient named Kunal Khanna admitted in their cardiology department,” Shiva announced, and all my hopes shattered. I knew Kunal’s actions were wrong, but I was hoping – ever so slightly – that maybe Kunal really had a life-threatening condition and I could forgive him owing to that. But Shiva’s words put an end to my stupidity, or so I thought.

  After that day, Nisha stopped calling. And call me desperate, but it worried me. She had said that he was going into surgery that day. What if?

  I panicked and waited for her calls, but ten days passed and no news! I started scanning the obituary section of the newspaper dreading the news of his passing away. God forbid if anything happened to him, I would have died out of guilt. What if me not having sex with him killed him? Did it make me a murderer? I prayed and prayed every waking moment for his safe return. And I promised God that I would sleep with him if he came through this disaster.

  While I was fueling my guilt and praying for his safe return, Sarv and Shiva were trying to pour some sense into me. They even considered going to Kunal’s home and confront his father, but I stopped them. I feare
d this might bring our relation out in the open. I didn’t want my mother to know!

  They continued to make me understand, but in those panicked days, there was no reasoning for me. My only point was, why would somebody lie about something like this?

  Returned

  Kunal came back rather abruptly, and it made everybody suspicious, including me.

  Nisha had called me after a fortnight of that confrontation. While I was talking to her, I stupidly told her my wish. How I wished for him to come back safely and in good health. And voila, the next day, he was standing in front of me with a wide grin spread across his face.

  We had just finished our Accounts lecture and were heading towards Economics and Commerce when we saw him waiting on our way. He was on his bike, alone!

  “Kunaaalllll,” I screamed as I stopped on sighting him. I forgot to put up the stand of my cycle, and it fell as I ran into his arms. He hugged me deeply.

  “Oh, how much I missed you,” he whispered in my ear.

  “Ishana,” barked Shiva as she pulled me away from him. “We are in the middle of the road, what are you doing?” Sarv scolded me.

  “Sorry.” I was grinning ear-to-ear. He was back, and he was safe.

  “You are okay?” I scanned him from top-to-toe.

  “In perfect health,” he grinned back. He was delighted to see me happy.

  “I missed you, I was so worried about you,” I whispered, tears threatening to pour out.

  “I am okay,” he assured me.

  “Can we go somewhere?” he requested.

  “NO!” Shiva and Sarv spoke together. “We have coaching, and we are already late.” Shiva pulled my arm. I was ready to fight as I wanted to go with him. Kunal was finally back, and he was alive and healthy. How could I not go? But their expressions were totally in contrast to mine. They were suspicious, and hatred was boiling in their eyes. I weighed my options and with much reluctance, I chose my best friends. Thankfully!