Playing by Heart

by Cleary James

  When she arrived at Martha’s, Katya and Ellie were already sitting at the table in the big kitchen/diner drinking wine.

  ‘Lisa!’ Ellie beamed, leaping up as she entered the room. She rushed over to her and pulled her into a hug. ‘It’s so nice to see you again.’

  ‘You too,’ Lisa grinned, squeezing her tight.

  ‘Oh wow, you look amazing!’ Ellie said, pulling back and holding her at arm’s length. ‘I’d hardly have recognised you.’

  ‘Um ... thanks. I think,’ Lisa said with a wry smile.

  Lisa had only met Ellie once before, when she had been home for a visit, just after Lisa had started working for Martha.

  ‘You’ve put on weight, haven’t you?’ Ellie blushed and clamped a hand over her mouth as soon as the words were out. ‘God, I mean that in a good way. You’ve put it on in all the right places,’ she added with a cheeky smile. ‘No offence.’

  ‘None taken.’

  ‘I suppose Mum has been feeding you up?’

  ‘She needed it,’ Martha said, carrying dishes in from the kitchen area. ‘She was nothing but skin and bone when she first came here.’

  ‘Not much chance of staying that way with Mum around,’ Ellie said conspiratorially to Lisa. Small and curvy, Ellie had her mother’s black hair, merry brown eyes and round, rosy cheeks. They even had identical dimples when they smiled.

  ‘No,’ Lisa said, smiling fondly. ‘Your mother is an amazing cook.’

  She had been so lucky to meet Martha in the first week she had come here. In her mid-forties, she was twenty years older than Lisa, but they had become great friends. Martha owned The Kettle, the cafe where Lisa worked as a waitress, but right from the start she’d been more like a mother to her than an employer. It had taken all of Lisa’s courage to go in and ask about the job when she saw the ‘Help Wanted’ sign in the window of the quaint little coffee shop. She had only done it after pacing the street for hours, walking past the cafe several times before she finally got up the nerve to go inside.

  Martha had seemed to pick up on her nervousness instantly, and had quickly put her at ease. She’d been so kind and friendly that Lisa had soon forgotten to feel shy. After a few cursory questions, Martha had offered her the job almost on the spot, and then made a pot of tea and sat down with her for a chat. She didn’t seem bothered that Lisa’s waitressing experience had been a long time ago or that she hadn’t worked in years. Lisa suspected that Martha could tell she was in trouble and had decided to give her a hand. She had since discovered that Ellie’s father had been an abusive man and Martha had been the victim of domestic violence during their marriage. She wondered now if Martha had recognised something of herself in Lisa when she had turned up that day.

  Whatever the reason, she had taken her under her wing, and she didn’t know what she’d have done without Martha to guide her in her first few weeks living in Porth Heron. She owed her so much. She had not only given her a job and helped her find a place to live, she had also introduced her to a circle of friends that had become like family to Lisa. Martha seemed to know everyone, and she was the soul of hospitality. She loved entertaining and bringing people together, and Lisa had met most of her friends and neighbours at Martha’s kitchen table.

  ‘Potatoes, Lisa?’

  ‘Yes, please.’ Lisa couldn’t help thinking of Mark as Martha ladled a big spoonful of golden, crunchy roast potatoes onto her plate, already laden with roast beef, Yorkshire pudding and cauliflower cheese. He’d have a fit if he could see her digging into this lot. She smiled secretly to herself at the thought.

  ‘Are you guys coming to the pub later?’ Ellie asked as they ate.

  ‘Yes, definitely,’ Katya said. ‘Connor’s playing.’

  ‘Brilliant. I love his band – and they always bring in lots of boys, so hopefully we’ll get lucky.’

  ‘What about that guy you were with?’ Katya asked her. ‘William, was it?’

  ‘We broke up,’ Ellie said. ‘So I’m on the prowl.’

  Katya laughed.

  ‘You should come, Mum,’ Ellie said. ‘You must be well overdue a shag by now. I’m sure we could find you someone. Never too late, you know.’

  ‘No, thanks,’ Martha said, laughing. ‘It’s probably safer for everyone if I stay home. You know my taste in men is shocking.’

  ‘What about you, Lisa?’ Ellie asked. ‘Any man in your life?’

  ‘No.’ Lisa shook her head.

  ‘Well, we’ll have to do something about that,’ Ellie said, with a mischievous glint in her eye. ‘We can’t let all this hotness go to waste.’ She circled her knife in the air, indicating Lisa’s figure.

  Lisa shifted uncomfortably, not sure what to say. She tried to think of a way to tell Ellie to back off without hurting her feelings. She knew she meant well and was just being friendly, but Lisa’s luck with men had been every bit as bad as Martha’s and she had no interest in meeting someone new. She just wished she could laugh it off like Martha and deflect Ellie good-naturedly.

  ‘I know loads of cute guys I can introduce you to,’ Ellie continued.

  Out of the corner of her eye, Lisa noticed Martha give her daughter an almost imperceptible shake of her head.

  ‘I don’t think Lisa’s looking for a boyfriend,’ she said.

  Ellie shrugged. ‘Oh, that’s cool. I’m not looking for a boyfriend myself. Just a bit of fun, a one-night stand or whatever.’

  Martha rolled her eyes. ‘I don’t think Lisa’s looking for a man at all,’ she said.

  ‘Oh!’ Ellie’s eyebrows shot up. ‘Well, that’s fine,’ she said to Lisa, a slow smile spreading across her face. ‘I know lots of great women I can introduce you to, if that’s your thing.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Lisa smiled, ‘but I’m not gay. Just not interested.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Not right now,’ Lisa said, shaking her head. ‘I’m not in the market for a relationship at the moment – or a one-night stand,’ she added quickly before Ellie could pursue it.

  Martha gave her daughter a meaningful look, and Ellie obviously took the hint.

  ‘Okay, then – girls’ night!’ she announced, slapping the table decisively. Then she changed the topic, launching into a story about one of her course tutors.

  Lisa was relieved as the focus moved away from her, grateful to Martha for her support. She had always respected Lisa’s privacy, and while she was happy to listen whenever she wanted to talk, she didn’t pry or ask questions. Lisa had told her that she had walked away from a bad relationship, but she had never gone into details about her life with Mark, and she never felt pressured to divulge more than she was comfortable with.

  ‘But don’t let me cramp your style,’ she said to Ellie with a smile. ‘Just because I’m not on the prowl, doesn’t mean you can’t be.’

  ‘No, we stick together,’ Ellie said decisively. ‘Besides, I could do with a proper girls’ night out. I haven’t had one in ages. It could be just what I need.’

  It turned out to be just what Lisa needed to put the stress and strain of the day behind her and finally lay the ghost of Mark to rest. Connor’s band were good, and the atmosphere in the packed pub was friendly and high-spirited. As she, Katya and Ellie danced, drank and laughed, she felt all her earlier tension melt away, and she started to have fun. It was good to let her hair down and get a little bit drunk with her friends. By the time she flopped into bed that night, she had forgotten her worries about Mark and she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

  Chapter Three

  She slept fitfully. In her dreams Mark was following her, shadowing her every move, and she was constantly on alert, waiting for him to confront her. But he never did. She saw the back of his dark head in the distance walking away from her, a shadow in the trees across from her house that she couldn’t quite make out. The tension was unbearable, escalating until she longed for him to make a move just so that it would be over. She ran after him down narrow laneways, hunted for him in crowds,
but he always eluded her. The spectre of him was a constant presence in her days, a threat hanging over her entire life and paralysing her. Every time she half woke from one of these dreams, she felt a momentary relief, but it was only a brief respite before she sank back into another, and it started all over again.

  She was finally startled awake by a loud, persistent pounding on her door. It didn’t stop as she stumbled out of bed and pulled on a robe. She raced blearily into the hall, anxious that the racket would wake up her neighbours. Still immersed in her dream, her heart hammered as she fumbled with the lock, half expecting to find Mark standing there. She threw open the door and gasped, relief flooding through her. Because there on the step was someone she had thought she would never see again – Grayson Fielding.

  ‘Grayson! What—what are you doing here?’

  Her relief was short-lived, seeping away as she took in his stony face and the hardness in his eyes. She’d never seen him like this before. It was unmistakeably Grayson, as beautiful as ever, and yet he felt like a stranger. There was something menacing in his demeanour that sent chills through her.

  ‘Thought you’d escaped me, did you?’ he said, with a contemptuous curl to his lips as he barged past her into the flat. ‘I’ve come to collect what you owe me.’

  Lisa trembled in fear, her mouth dry. She blinked hard, thinking she must still be dreaming. This couldn’t be Grayson, so hostile and aggressive. She closed the door in a daze, her legs shaky as she followed him down the hall.

  He was standing in the middle of the living room, hands on his hips, his eyes flinty as he glanced around, taking it all in. Finally he focused on her, standing uncertainly in the doorway.

  ‘You know what I’m here for, don’t you, Lisa?’ he asked taking off his jacket and tossing it on the sofa. ‘You owe me.’

  ‘I know,’ she nodded, trying to remain calm. Maybe she could reason with him. ‘I know I still owe you a thousand pounds, but I didn’t mean—’

  ‘A thousand pounds?’ He tilted his head to the side and regarded her almost pityingly. ‘I think you owe me a little more than that. You’ve had the use of that money for half a year.’

  ‘I’ll pay it back,’ she said quickly, ‘with interest. I’ve been saving—’

  Grayson snorted contemptuously. ‘I don’t want your money. I want what I purchased. I paid for the use of your body. I hired you to be my whore, and you still owe me for services I never received. I expect you to make good on that.’ He threw himself onto the sofa and sprawled there, his eyes glittering dangerously as he looked at her. ‘So, take that thing off.’ He nodded to her robe.

  ‘Grayson,’ she hesitated, biting her lip.

  ‘I said take it off,’ he said, his voice deadly cold. ‘Now.’

  Lisa’s fingers shook as she untied her robe and tossed it aside.

  Grayson’s eyes raked over her body, a crooked sneer curling his beautiful lips as he took in her thin cotton pyjamas. There was nothing remotely sexy about them.

  ‘Strip and get on your knees.’ He snapped his fingers and pointed to the floor in front of him. ‘I want your hot mouth on my cock.’

  Lisa did as he said, her heart hammering. He leered as she pulled her pyjama top over her head, his eyes raking over her breasts.

  ‘All that money I gave you and you still didn’t get your tits done,’ he said.

  Lisa felt her face burn with humiliation. It’s Mark, she thought irrationally. It didn’t make any sense, but somehow she knew this was Mark in Grayson’s body.

  ‘And the rest,’ he said, nodding to her pyjama bottoms. ‘Come on, Lisa. You’ve held out on me long enough.’

  She pulled off her pyjama bottoms and tossed them aside. She stood naked before him, and his eyes darkened as they roved over her body with tortuous slowness. There was no warmth in their glittering depths. His gaze was hard, detached as he appraised every inch of her.

  ‘Come here,’ he nodded to the space in front of him, and Lisa did as she was bid, standing between his spread legs.

  He sat forward and reached for her, his hands sliding over the curve of her hips, stroking the gentle swell of her stomach. ‘You’ve let yourself go, Lisa,’ he said softly as his hand moved lower, stroking the light sprinkling of pubic hair and pinching the flesh at her hip. ‘This isn’t the body I paid for.’ He sighed, looking up at her.

  Lisa held her breath. Maybe if he found her wanting, he wouldn’t make her do this.

  ‘Lucky you’re so talented with your mouth to make up for it,’ he said. He leaned back against the cushions, undid the button of his jeans and pulled down the zipper. ‘So get on your knees and start earning that money I paid you.’

  Lisa did as she was told, sinking to the floor in front of him. He lifted his hips as she helped him pull off his trousers and boxers. He was already rock hard. She bent her head to him, taking his thick cock in her hand as she swirled her tongue around the tip. He groaned deep in his throat as she licked along his shaft, then wrapped her hand around him and pumped as she sucked the head, bobbing rhythmically up and down on the tip. She took him a little deeper each time, but Grayson grabbed her head and thrust upwards, ramming his full length into her mouth until she gagged and her eyes watered. She instinctively jerked away, but he held her head firmly in both hands, pinning her to him as he controlled her movements and thrust harder.

  ‘That’s it, baby,’ he groaned as he pumped her head up and down on his shaft, his hands rough in her hair. ‘Deeper. You can go deeper than that.’ He shoved himself further down her throat until she gagged again and tears streamed from her eyes. ‘Don’t hold out on me. I know you can go all the way,’ he said as he thrust into her mouth. He groaned deeply as his cock bounced off the back of her throat, and Lisa panicked, flailing as she struggled not to gag.

  She was out of practice at this, and she felt like she was going to choke. She flailed and whimpered, but it only seemed to excite him more.

  ‘Oh yeah, baby. That's so good,’ he said as she cried out in fright. She massaged his balls, praying he would orgasm soon and this would be over. Finally, he came with a deep groan, squirting hot liquid into her mouth. He held her head clamped to him while he pumped down her throat, so that she was forced to swallow every drop. After what seemed like an age, he softened and pulled out.

  ‘Good girl,’ he said, smiling at her almost tenderly as he rubbed his thumb along her swollen lips.

  Lisa swiped at the tears still streaming down her face. Before she could catch her breath, Grayson wound her hair around his hand, pulling it painfully as he jerked her head back. Then he swooped in and kissed her, sucking her bottom lip between his teeth and biting down hard, while his hands groped her breasts, pinching her hardened nipples until she squealed in pain. He chuckled deep in his throat at the sound.

  ‘Come on,’ he said, surging to his feet and taking her hand. ‘I want to fuck you now.’

  In the bedroom he removed the rest of his clothes and ordered her to lie down on the bed. He was already hard again as he crawled over her. She tried to stifle her panic as he took both her hands in one of his and stretched them over her head, holding them immobile.

  Why was he doing this? He knew she didn’t like being held down. But there was a cruel glint in his eyes as he pushed her legs apart and rammed himself into her, and she knew it excited him to intimidate and scare her in this way. She tried to concentrate on breathing deeply as he held her still, her hands trapped above her head, his big powerful body pinning her to the bed as he pounded roughly into her again and again. When he came, he bit down on her shoulder so hard, she thought he would draw blood.

  She shuddered as he drew back and his hand slid between her legs, stroking her soft flesh, pumping two fingers inside her.

  ‘You’re so wet,’ he murmured in her ear. ‘You love sucking me off, don’t you? It turns you on to suck my cock. My little whore,’ he said, his tone almost tender. He bit her earlobe, his breath hot on her neck, and Lisa shuddered as he stroked he
r clit, trying to resist the shocks of pleasure that were spreading through her. She didn’t want this, and she hated that he could make her enjoy it, but she was powerless to stop her body’s traitorous response as he roughly massaged her breasts. Her core tightened, every nerve end tingling as he kissed and licked his way down to her stomach. His fingers dug into the flesh of her hips as he buried his face between her legs. She felt his teeth sinking into the soft flesh of her inner thighs, and she squealed as he tugged the sensitive skin between his teeth. He alternated biting her with soft, wet kisses.

  ‘That feels good, doesn’t it?’ he murmured, his hand stroking soothingly over her stomach, the gentle touch in stark contrast to the sharp pull of his teeth. ‘I love that it makes you wet when I hurt you.’ He put his mouth to her clit, sucking and nibbling relentlessly while he pumped his fingers inside her, until her orgasm took over and her body bowed off the bed, rigid with tension, and she let out an involuntary moan. The release was exquisite, and she sank back into the mattress, limp and satiated.

  Grayson rolled off her and sat up. ‘Stay there,’ he said, and bent to press a kiss to her lips. ‘I’m not finished with you yet.’ He trailed a finger down her body, following it with his eyes. ‘Not by a long shot.’ He got up and left the room, and Lisa lay still on the bed, wondering how long her ordeal would continue. Her heart was pounding and she was trembling in fear as she waited for him to return, but she was afraid to move.

  ‘There’s someone I want you to meet.’ Lisa turned. Grayson was standing in the doorway, a crooked smile on his face. Then he stepped aside, and her heart leapt into her mouth as she saw the man standing behind him.

  ‘Hello, Lisa,’ Mark said, his eyes glinting cruelly as he looked down at her. He loosened his tie and shrugged off his jacket as he stepped into the room. ‘My turn.’