Discovering Danielle

by L M Terry

  “You are an aunt,” he continues and then I see a video of Sophia, Noah, Dylan and I down on the beach building a sandcastle. Sophia crawls over the sand and perches herself in my lap. She looks at me like I’m a damn super-hero. The video zooms in as the little girl wraps her arms around my neck, tiny giggles erupting from her little body. The next clip is of us burying Liam in the sand, only his head sticking out and he is yelling at us as the kids and I run away leaving him stranded. I laugh out loud causing my head to thud, reminding me of where I am.

  “You are a friend.” Images of Anna, Addy and I appear. We are laughing in the kitchen, wine glasses in hand. The next is of Dorothy and I sitting down by the river, my head resting against her knee. Then it switches to all of us girls again, getting our nails done at Mrs. Chan’s. A still image of my hand beside Sophia’s appears, we are showing off the little butterflies on our nails.

  “You are a daughter.” My heart stills. The picture of my parents and I at the zoo appears. “You are also a surrogate daughter to these two-amazing people,” he continues as an image of me with Rosemary and Luis appears. I’m sandwiched between the two and they are each kissing me on a cheek. It was taken at breakfast a few days ago.

  “You are an artist.” The video pans over my artwork that is currently adorning the walls inside my painting room…at home. It stops over my self-portrait. Tears are spilling all over my hospital gown at this point.

  The nurse pokes her head in. I smile at her and she closes the door again giving me a few more minutes of much needed privacy.

  “Of course, I’ve saved the best for last. Me. I’m yours and you are mine. You are my fiancé, the love of my life.” The video shows the ring that is on my finger, except it is in a tiny black box. It then changes to a stream of videos of Anthony and me. One of us jumping off the bridge together, swimming in the ocean, hugging each other at the cabin. I pause the video. We are staring into each other’s eyes. The way he is looking at me. Hmm. Is this how others see us? He is so happy….I’m so happy. I hit the pause button again and his laughter filters through the phone, bringing a fresh round of tears to my eyes.

  The video pans back to him, speaking to the camera again. “Anyhow, I hope this helps. I just wanted to show you how much you are loved. You bring us all so much joy, you could never be a burden to any of us and especially not to me. I love you, Danielle Jean. You are more important to me than the air that I breathe. Whatever happens from here on out, remember that I love you. Even if you can’t remember that love right now, it’s there. You will find it again, I promise, if you let me help you.”

  “You’re probably wondering where you met such an amazing, attractive man such as myself.” I bust out laughing. This. This is one of the many reasons I love him. “Well I’ll tell you. We met at a haunted house on the pier. I was screaming like a little girl and was frozen, cornered by a clown. Actually, I’m terrified of them. Anyhow, you saved me that day. You are one of the bravest women I know. You yelled at that clown, telling him that he was a big bully. I think that was probably the last day of his clown career. And after that we were basically inseparable. We have had so many wonderful adventures together and we will have many more…I just know it.”

  He looks down and away from the camera. “I’m not sure I will ever get you understand just how much I love you.” His eyes slowly move back up to the camera. “When I look into your beautiful green eyes, I see you. I see you, Danielle Jean, and I love everything I’ve ever discovered about you. So, don’t be scared….we will get through this together. Yeah?” And then the video ends.

  The nurse comes back in with a therapist and they do some basic testing to see where I’m at. They have me take a few sips of water. Once, I’m able to keep everything down they will remove the tube in my nose. As they speak my mind is only on Anthony, his video and the ring on my finger. After, they get me all settled again, I feel sleep tugging at me. I try to picture this scenario except with me in the waiting room and him in the hospital bed. My heart aches. It doesn’t have to be this way. My heart doesn’t have to ache, neither does his.

  What kind of man does this? If my memory were really gone, he would have tricked me into marrying him. Like how awful, huh? Yeah, really awful to wake up knowing I have a family and a man who loves me just steps away. Why am I fighting this? He loves me. Maybe I am wrong, maybe he can be a hero and still be mine. Is that possible? He had the choice to walk away and he didn’t take it. He could have, but he didn’t. Now, I have a choice. I can choose to be lonely or I can choose love. If I beat this thing just think of the things I could do with him by my side. This could be another one of those days where my life changes completely. I have to be brave enough to jump.

  But, when jumping there is only one thing that happens after and that is the fall. Do I trust him to catch me?

  Anthony

  ◆◆◆

  Hours go by and nothing. Addy has called back to the ICU and they told her Dani is awake and doing well. She has been talking. Addy tells me this is good. She also asked if Dani watched the video and they say she has. They told us she knows where she is at, but they didn’t elaborate further on her mental state.

  I glance around the room. Everyone is here, down to the little tots. Dylan’s eyes meet mine and I quickly glance away. I’m literally dying inside. She is going to end it. I just know it. I fully expect the nurse to come out at any minute and throw my ring in my face on Dani’s behalf.

  “Uncle Tony,” Sophia says climbing up on my lap. My gaze goes back to Dylan. Dick. We really need to quit using this sweet child. But, I’m happy she is here. She wraps her arms around my neck giving me a hug and I return it. Just what I needed. “Daddy says I can’t see Aunt Dani today cause they don’t let kids back there.” She points her tiny finger to the door leading the way to the love of my life.

  “No, sorry baby. Maybe you can see her in a few days. Yeah?” I kiss her forehead.

  Just then my phone buzzes. I shift Sophia so I can fish it out of my pocket and when I swipe the screen I see it is from her. One word. I glance around the room. All eyes are on me. “Sophia, do you know what a flower girl is?”

  The entire room takes a breath at the same time. “A girl with flowers?” she asks shrugging her shoulders. We all laugh as I stand spinning her in my arms and kissing her little cheeks.

  “You are right. A girl with flowers. Do you want to be the flower girl at my wedding?”

  Everyone is starting to stand and hug as what I am saying settles in. “You’re getting married to Aunt Dani?” she squeals.

  I hold my phone out so everyone can see her text. One word, yes.

  I’m still getting hugs from my family as the door opens and the nurse tells me that Dani is asking for me. I practically run to follow her. “I’ll give you two a few minutes and then I think she should try to get some rest. She has been awake for a while now,” she says kindly, winking at me before taking a seat at the nurse’s station.

  When I open the door, her eyes are closed. I quietly take the seat by the bed and pull her hand into mine. I wanted to talk to her, to hear her voice but she needs to sleep. My eyes drop to the ring on her finger. She didn’t take it off, thank God, thank you God. I drop my forehead to her hand.

  “Clowns huh? Probably shouldn’t have confessed that. Now that I know your weakness I might use it against you,” the most beautiful voice whispers over me.

  I chuckle before bringing my head up to meet her gaze. “Would you believe me if I told you that was all part of the ruse and that I’m not really afraid of clowns?” I ask.

  “Nope, I detected the truth in that statement. You know you just need to face your fear; the best things are right on the other side of it.” She smiles, tears creating rivers down her cheeks.

  I stand and press my mouth to hers. “Say it,” my lips brush against hers as I speak.

  “You haven’t properly asked,” she spars back.

  “Danielle Jean, will you marry me?”

&
nbsp; I feel her smile against my lips. “Yes.” I kiss her softly for several minutes until I hear the door open behind us. I pull away reluctantly.

  The nurse smiles at us as I sit back down beside the bed. “You should get some rest, sweetie. The doctor will be up in an hour and we will get that tube out of your nose. You’re doing great,” she says. She pulls the curtains so that room is dark.

  Dani’s eyes close but the smile remains on her face. If someone were to ask me to recall my happiest day…it would be today. My heart tells me there will be many more. I’m going to spend the rest of my days, surprising this girl. My goal in life is to make her smile like this every day.

  I sneak out to let the family know that she is good. Really good. “Why don’t you all go get some food and rest. I’ll text if anything changes.”

  Anna hands me a piece of paper. “Everyone is taking shifts, so that one of us is always here with you two. Well, everyone but me. I’m going to go back to the house and finish baking this baby.” She rubs her belly. “You need to rest too, Anthony. If you don’t take care of yourself you can’t take care of her. Remember that.” She hugs me and I look over the list she gave me. I try to hand it back to her. “Keep it, it’s your copy so you know who is here.” I look around and see they each have a sheet, even Tank.

  “You guys, wow. Thank you all for loving her like I do. I don’t know if I would have gotten through any of this without you all.”

  “We’re your family, Anthony. That will never change,” Luis says, giving me a fatherly hug.

  Addy takes first shift. She is in doctor mode. I’m glad for it because my brain is mush. She walks back to Dani’s room with me just as the doctor arrives. “The staff tells me she is doing great. I’m going to take out her NG tube since she has been able to keep fluids down. I think we can also walk back on the oxygen. Little steps, slowly we will get her unhooked from all of this.” He waves his hand over all of the equipment in the room.

  He walks over to her. “Danielle, how are you feeling.” He places his hand on her chest rubbing lightly. She rouses, again attempting to scratch at her nose. My heart swells, she is so damn cute. Her eyes slowly open and she smiles. He repeats the question, “how are you feeling?”

  “I’m getting married,” she says dreamily, and he laughs.

  “So, I’ve heard.” He leans down and whispers, “the nurses may be swooning over your fiancé. They think you’re a lucky girl.”

  She smiles again. “I am lucky.”

  He turns to look at me, then focuses his attention back to her. “I wanted to let you know that the lab’s initial report is that the tumor is benign. We will get the final report in three or four days. I’m fairly confident they are correct. It was more cyst like material. We will do another scan in a few days to make sure I got everything.”

  Okay, so how can this day get any better? I woke up not knowing if she would survive the surgery or if the results would come back with a death sentence. I started the day thinking she would push me out of her life all together. And now, I feel like the world of possibility just opened up before my eyes.

  The doctor continues speaking. I sure hope Addy is catching all this because my mind is shutting down in relief. “Make sure you keep the nurses aware of your pain level. We will get you up tomorrow and get you walking. It won’t be fun, but it will help with your recovery. The sooner the better,” he says. Addy follows him out of the room. I’m confident she will find out anything and everything we need to know. I’m so thankful for her.

  “I think we conquered enough for today,” Dani giggles, her eyes close and she is fast asleep.

  I sit down and close my eyes. My phone dings. It’s Lizzie.

  L: Please tell me how she is?

  A: She’s good.

  L: That’s good news.

  L: I love her you know.

  L: Are you going to tell her?

  A: Someday, yes.

  L: He knows you have been checking into him.

  L: He’s worried.

  A: He should be.

  And that is the last time I hear from crazy Lizzie again. Part of me wonders if she was truly inquiring about Dani’s well-being or if she was fishing for information. I don’t care that he knows I’ve been snooping around in his past. I hope he is on pins and needles waiting for me to make my move.

  Addy comes in and sets a tiny little angel figurine on Dani’s bedside table then she pulls up a chair to sit with me. This is what true friendship is.

  Nobody is stepping on my fiancé. God that feels good to say. Anyhow, nobody is stepping on my fiancé. Ever. Again.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Danielle

  ◆◆◆

  Dr. Lambert gave us the good news this morning. No cancer. He has been wonderful through all of this. I had the chance to visit with him one evening and I asked him if there was a possibility that my dad could have had the same thing as me. He said I could be right. I remember he had headaches too, I know that doesn’t mean he had a tumor, but this gives me a reason for what he did, when before I had none. I’m going to hold onto it even if I will never have proof.

  He shared stories with me of people who had drastic personality changes. One case was of a child who suddenly said he felt like killing people. Everyone brushed it off as a mental disorder but fortunately a family friend who was a doctor did a scan on him and found he had a tumor. Once it was removed the little boy went back to be the happy child he had been before.

  Is my anxiety gone? It’s hard to explain. I’m still nervous, who wouldn’t be. I’m in a hospital and up until this morning had been waiting to hear whether or not I had cancer. But, it’s not the anxiety I was experiencing before. I’ve lived with it so long. I hadn’t realized how bad it really was until I woke up and it was gone. Poof, just like that. It makes me want to run out and tell the world. The thought of others suffering and not knowing that there might be an answer breaks my heart.

  Dr. Lambert also told me that Anthony donated to the hospital in my name. He hates it when I call him a real-life hero, but he is. He is mine.

  “Ready to go home, princess?”

  “Yes, I’m beyond ready,” I say as I take a seat in the wheelchair he just brought in for me.

  “We have one quick stop before we head out the door,” Anthony says as he wheels me down the hall.

  Really? I just want to get out of here. But, when I realize where we are going my excitement spikes. “No!” I squeal. He pushes me into a room and Anna is in a hospital bed. Dylan is in the recliner next to her with a tiny little bundle in his arms.

  “We didn’t want to worry you until little Manny was here safe and sound,” Anthony says parking me near Dylan.

  Dylan stands and places him in my arms. He crouches down in front of me to help me support the baby. I’m still a little weak on my right side. Therapy is helping but it is a slow process. “Oh, Anna, he is beautiful,” I tell her, tears clinging to my eyelashes.

  “Sorry we have to miss your homecoming,” Dylan teases.

  “Oh, this is so wonderful! You guys make such beautiful babies,” I whisper and lean over to kiss the baby on the head. He wiggles in his blue blanket making the cutest little squeaky noise. He looks like his siblings.

  “We are hoping that you and Anthony will agree to be Manuel’s godparents,” Anna says.

  My gaze darts up to meet hers and then Dylan’s. “Oh, oh I don’t know, you guys hardly know me and what if…”

  Dylan stops me. “You risked your life for our child. You literally put yourself in physical harm to save Sophia. Why would we not consider you?”

  I look at Anthony and then at the innocent little boy in my arms. “Okay,” I say softly.

  “Good, all you have to do is love him,” Dylan says.

  “I already do,” I reply crying and laughing at the same time.

  “Okay, let’s get you home,” Anthony says kissing the top of my head. I hand little Manuel back to Dylan.

  As we drive a
way from the hospital I’m acutely aware of what I’m leaving behind. One brain tumor, years of fear and a lifetime of lonely. It’s what I’m taking with me that has me excited. I’ve gained a family, a renewed sense of strength and a promise of endless love from Anthony. I spin the ring on my finger. It is an exquisite marquise cut diamond with little sapphire stones climbing up a vine along one side of the diamond. It is stunning and so in Anthony’s style. He smiles and takes my hand in his looking at the ring on my finger himself.

  “I have a question,” I tell him.

  “Shoot,” he says.

  I laugh, he is fucking adorable. “The girls are always talking about how you shop for everyone. They talk about you like some sort of fashion god. How come you have never tried to give me fashion advise?”

  “Because, I think you are perfect exactly the way you are,” he says kissing my hand.

  A big banner with the words Welcome Home is stretched out across the front of the garage making me laugh. “Everyone may or may not be here. Don’t worry they won’t stay long. They know you need your rest. You’ll be happy to know they have cake,” he teases.

  “Oh, well if they have cake all is good.” I giggle as he scoops me up in his arms carrying me inside.

  Dang, they are all here. Liam, Addy, Luis, Rosemary, Tank, Dorothy, Mrs. Chan, Sophia and Noah. My heart is full, it is overflowing. “Welcome home,” they all chirp in unison.

  After many hugs, kisses, cake and laughs everyone heads out. Tank is driving Mrs. Chan and Dorothy back to town. Then he is going to stay with Luis and Rosemary to help with the kids until Anna is out of the hospital. Tank may look big and scary, but he is a giant teddy bear. The kids love climbing on him. I still haven’t heard from Lizzie, I’m not sure what is going on between them. I haven’t had much time to contemplate it. Liam and Addy are staying with us to help Anthony take care of me for a few days.