All the Feels

by Heather Nuhfer

  “Oh, uh, yeah. Hi, Bobby.” In my haste I hadn’t really processed that Dad still had a patient in the chair.

  I went back to the waiting room and did just that until Bobby emerged and his mom took him home.

  As soon as they were out the door I was back to it. Ms. Watson would be here any minute, and I needed to talk to Dad. Alone.

  “I need to take the cure. You need to say yes.”

  “It’s not that simple, Veri.”

  “You mean Ms. Watson doesn’t approve, so you have to do what she says.”

  “Watch it.”

  I did not feel like watching it. Not one single watchy bit. I was really annoyed and didn’t care if he got upset.

  “It’s true. If she wasn’t around, you would have said it was okay yesterday. Instantly!”

  “No, I wouldn’t have,” he said calmly.

  “Liar!”

  His brow furrowed and his eyes went a little dark. “This isn’t up for discussion anymore. You are out of control.”

  “Oh,” I scoffed, “I beg to differ. I mean, I haven’t blown anything up. I’m not covered in scales or set in stone.” I paused for a second as I assessed my inner sitch. “Yet.”

  “Stop.”

  “That’s what you want, right? You want me to be a freak for the rest of my life.”

  “You aren’t a freak. This is just—”

  “Just you making Ms. Watson happy. ’Cause that’s how it is now. Just her and you. Making all the decisions. And me not mattering at all.”

  I was about to bust out a mother of a stupidpower, so I went outside, flinging the door open as hard as I could. The little bell that signaled when someone entered broke off and flew across the room, landing in a potted peace lily.

  “Veronica,” Dad warned.

  Ms. Watson was pulling up just as I got outside. I opened my mouth to yell at her, but a high-pitched noise came out instead. Like a wave, it crashed over Ms. Watson’s car and shattered the windshield! The shock of it was enough to jolt me out of my stupidstate, and the wave disappeared as it spread over the empty parking lot. Oh no! Had I hurt her?! I ran to her car and looked inside. She was still holding the steering wheel.

  “Ms. Watson?!” I called as I tapped on the window. “I’m sorry! Are you okay?”

  She opened her door and got out. “Yes, McGowan, I’m fine. Are you—”

  I didn’t let her finish. Now that I knew she was okay, my anger returned, surging through my system. “Good! Then I’m not sorry! I take it back.” I stormed off. If they didn’t want me to be normal, then I wasn’t going to hold anything in anymore.

  I stormed all the way to Charlie’s house and up to the front door. I pushed the doorbell as hard as I could, but it wasn’t very satisfying.

  “Whoa, what’s up?” Charlie asked when he opened the door. “You look like you might murder someone.”

  “Just windshields,” I said as we went inside and up to his room.

  We sat on the floor and I told him about what had just happened—my mom, my dad, the shattering of an innocent piece of glass.

  “I don’t understand why she’d be so against it,” Charlie wondered.

  “And why my dad won’t stand up to her,” I grumbled as I flopped onto my back.

  Charlie let out an empathetic sigh.

  “I’m sorry I…,” I mumbled, realizing I hadn’t even bothered to check in with Charlie. “How are you?”

  “Can I get you a cup of hot cocoa?”

  Charlie had never offered to make me anything in the food world before. It had always been a one-way street of me providing and him eating.

  “Sure,” I answered.

  He flew out of the room and I stayed on my back, tired from the power explosion. I thought about the look on Ms. Watson’s face when I killed her windshield. Maybe my mother was right. Maybe I was dangerous. I guess if there is unintended, violent destruction of property involved, one could classify it that way. But how was I supposed to react? Dad was supposed to be on my side. But now he was on Ms. Watson’s side, and I was alone. Well, almost alone.

  “It’s more marshmallow than cocoa!” Charlie gleefully declared as he carried two mugs brimming with marshmallows into the room.

  I sat up and took the hot cup. “Thanks, Charlie. This smells good!” I took a sip. “Woo! That’s sweet!”

  “My own special secret recipe: two packs of cocoa with half the amount of milk, and you spray whipped cream in there and stir it so it melts. Then the marshmallow extravaganza!”

  “Is there sugar on the marshmallows, too?”

  “Yes!” he said proudly.

  “Awesome.”

  We quietly blew on our steaming hot cocoas for a second.

  “So, you’re okay?” I asked. I was thinking about what Hun Su had said in art class. “I, uh, heard something I thought maybe you might want to possibly talk about.”

  He had gone from happily sipping a hot cocoa to being as white as a marshmallow.

  “Word in the halls is that you and Betsy are … a thing.”

  “We aren’t a couple,” he said quietly, still holding the cocoa near his mouth.

  “Excuse me?” I had never heard Charlie choose to speak so softly.

  “Veri…,” he groaned, which irritated the heck out of me.

  “Why did I have to hear this from Hun Su?” I did my best not to sound jealous.

  “Because there’s nothing to hear!” He took a big gulp of cocoa, then gasped. “Hot! Very ridiculously hot!”

  “You like her?” I asked.

  He shrugged.

  “You’re killing me.”

  “Yeah, I do. I think I do,” he finally admitted. His marshmallow-white face was now looking more cherry red.

  “Okay,” I said slowly, trying to think it through. “And she likes you?”

  “I dunno.”

  “You haven’t said anything to her about it?”

  “Why would I do that?!”

  “Because apparently everyone in school—except for me, your blooming best friend—knows about it. You kinda have to.” I took a deep breath. Why was everything turning into a fight today?

  We sipped in silence for a few more minutes.

  “Will you help me?”

  “Help you what?”

  “Tell Betsy.”

  “I think that’s kinda between you two.”

  “I don’t mean that you’d tell her. You’ll just help me find a way to tell her. I have no clue how to tell a girl that.”

  “Neither do I.”

  “Please, Veri,” he asked genuinely.

  I looked at him for a minute. How could I say no? He was my best friend. And he looked so very, very pathetic.

  “Okay,” I agreed.

  “Thank you.” He sighed with relief. “Always feels better to come clean with you.”

  I’d sealed my fate. Charlie would be off with Betsy and Dad and Ms. Watson in wedded bliss; I’d be alone.

  But I didn’t have to be.

  “Charlie, I need to talk to your moms.”

  * * *

  I sat on the exam table and waited. Charlie had wedged himself on one of the counters below a cabinet.

  “Am I doing the right thing?” I whispered to Charlie.

  He nodded. “If it’s what you want, then yes.”

  I couldn’t even conceive of a day without powers, but it was about to happen. I could live like a normal kid! The nervous butterflies in my stomach were getting more excited.

  “Everyone ready?” Lucia asked when she and Dr. Weathers came back into the room.

  “Yep,” I said.

  “And Rik knows about this?” Dr. Weathers asked.

  “We talked about the cure extensively just this morning,” I said as confidently as I could.

  “Well, then. Here we go,” Lucia said with a smile.

  With latex-laden hands, Dr. Weathers opened up a small aluminum canister. Bright white vapor poured out of it.

  “Dramatic,” Charlie commente
d.

  Once the fog had drifted away, she removed something with a long pair of tweezers.

  “Take this and you should see a marked improvement within the next twenty-four hours,” Dr. Weathers said, offering me what was clenched betwixt the tweezers.

  “Um, is this a joke?” I asked, and looked around. I was expecting a camera crew to burst through the door.

  Dr. Weathers raised an eyebrow.

  I pointed at the fancy-schmancy, scientific-breakthrough cure. “Hate to break it to ya, but that’s a gummy bear.”

  Dr. Weathers gave Lucia an “I told you so” look.

  “We had the molds and I thought it was cute,” Lucia said. “Plus, if Veri was nervous, I thought it might be easier to eat a cure shaped like a friendly gummy bear.” She shrugged and gave me a wink.

  “I can guarantee you this is not a joke,” Dr. Weathers assured me.

  “So, I just eat this gummy bear, and my powers are gone? Forever?” I asked.

  “We’ll still be doing research on your condition, as this is just for your symptoms and not what causes them,” Dr. Weathers explained.

  “Well, all right then. Down the hatch!” I said much more loudly than I intended. Those excited butterflies in my stomach were now biting their fingernails. Charlie and I looked nervously at each other.

  I grabbed the gummy bear from the tweezers and flung it into my mouth. I chewed and swallowed before I could think about it anymore. Once it had settled, I had only one comment: “Strawberry-y.”

  “Ooh, can I have one?” Charlie asked.

  Both Dr. Weathers and Lucia stared at me silently.

  “I don’t need to stay here for the next twenty-four hours, do I?”

  Lucia laughed. “No, no. Sorry.”

  “But let us know if you have any undesirable side effects,” Dr. Weathers added.

  “Like what?” I asked nervously. “I didn’t know that was a thing.”

  “Don’t worry about it! You’ll be fine!” Lucia told me.

  “You feel fine, right?” Dr. Weathers asked.

  I nodded.

  “Excellent.”

  “Shouldn’t we, like, test her or something?” Charlie asked his moms. “Do something that would make her superpowers work and see what happens?”

  “Not yet, Charlie,” she said. “We need to give the cure time to do its thing.”

  Both doctors stared at me expectantly.

  “So, uh, is there something else?” I couldn’t help but ask.

  “No! We’re just excited,” Lucia explained. “We’ll be patient from now on. I promise.”

  “Okay … thanks for fixing me!”

  “Wanna stay for dinner?” Charlie asked.

  “Actually, what would you two say to us dropping you at the mall for pizza? We should log a few things,” Dr. Weathers said, already looking at her tablet.

  “Sure!” I definitely didn’t want to go home yet.

  “Great. One of us will pick you up later and drop you home.”

  “And maybe we can figure out that thing we were talking about upstairs,” Charlie whispered.

  “Maybe,” I whispered back.

  * * *

  At the mall, I decided to do something. Again, I’d need some specialized help, so I went to see Ted and ask him to get another message to my mom.

  “She is not the nicest human mammal,” Ted said, shaking his head at the note I was trying to give him.

  “She’s just misunderstood.”

  “She threw a shoe at me.”

  “Just, you know, slip it under her door or something. You don’t need to physically hand it over. Please?” I asked nicely.

  He took the note from me. “If I die by stiletto…”

  “I will avenge thee,” I joked.

  He took the note from me.

  “Thank you.”

  “Where’s Charlie?”

  “Getting our pizza.”

  Ted shook his head and pointed. “Sorry, I meant there’s Charlie.”

  Charlie handed me my slice when he joined us. “So, did you ask Ted what I should do?”

  Boy, he was jumping right into it, wasn’t he?

  “You mean about Betsy?” I asked.

  “Yeah!”

  “Betsy?” Ted asked, “Like, grr Betsy?”

  “Yeah. She’s going to be my girlfriend,” Charlie said cheerfully.

  “Nice.”

  “He hasn’t said anything to her,” I explained.

  “Little dude, the time is now!” Ted declared.

  The wheels in my brain began to turn. The sooner he told her, the sooner I’d lose him.

  “But we really need to figure out the right way to tell her, remember?” I said.

  “Aw, man, listen to your heart,” Ted recommended. “Take it from a big dude who has been there.”

  Charlie looked at me. “He’s got a point. How many girls have you professed your love to?”

  “B-but, I can give insight. I am a girl!”

  “Next time you see her, bro, just tell her what’s in your heart.” Ted nodded.

  I did not like this.

  “I hate to say it, Veri, but I kind of like this plan,” Charlie said.

  “It’s not a plan!” I scoffed. “We need to take some serious time and figure this out. Like a week or two. Maybe a month tops!”

  Both Ted and Charlie shook their heads.

  “No. I will drown in my emotions by then,” Charlie said. “I’m going to tell her tomorrow.”

  “Right on, little man!” Ted high-fived Charlie and told me, “Let love blossom naturally, girly.”

  So it was decided. And I couldn’t say a single thing about it.

  Lucia drove me home a little bit later. Dad was working at his night job as a bouncer at a local club, so at least I wouldn’t have to see him until the morning. I hadn’t felt any difference and now I was wondering if I was really supposed to. It wasn’t every day your superpowers were taken from you. In superhero movies, this would cause the titular character to fall to their knees and cry out to the sky about their cool thing being taken away. But getting rid of my powers was the highlight of my year. Sure, I’d had the crappiest day and tomorrow was shaping up to be a best friend–losing doozy, but at least it felt like a fresh start. I hadn’t had even the smallest stupidpowers outburst all day! A normal life. I fell asleep with a gigantic grin on my face.

  CHAPTER SIX

  TRANSFORMATION TUESDAY

  “Good morning!” I called as I flew down the stairs.

  As I had expected, Dad was sitting at the breakfast table, ready to sentence me. But I was prepared. “Listen, I know you are probably mucho mad at me about the windshield and I’m prepared to work in the office to pay Ms. Watson back for fixing it.”

  Dad crossed his arms. “A: I’m not mad at you for busting the windshield. I’m concerned by your attitude that led to the busting of the windshield. B: What the heck got into you today? You are not the girl from yesterday.”

  “I’m not!” I said. And I really felt it. The sheer excitement of a day without stupidpowers was making me giddy. “That windshield-smashing girl is gone, Dad, I promise.”

  “That’s a pretty big promise.”

  “I can do it,” I said confidently as I got my things together for school.

  “We can talk about the windshield later. Just please apologize to her today, okay? Properly?”

  “Can do!”

  “I don’t know what’s up, but I’m digging this attitude,” he told me.

  It was a huge change, for sure. True, he didn’t know why things had changed. I still hadn’t even thought how I was going to tell him about that. Later. After the wedding. From the plan I had brewing, it might not even matter after that.

  * * *

  Charlie wasn’t at our meeting spot, so I started walking without him. It wasn’t until I was a block from school that he caught up with me.

  “Are you secretly on some Olympic-level speed-walking team or something?” Charli
e gasped. You could see his breath in the cool morning air.

  “Where were you? Sleep in?” I asked. Then I had a much scarier thought. “Did you tell her?!”

  “No, I haven’t yet. I want to do it face-to-face. When the time is right, you know?” he said excitedly.

  Once we got to our lockers, something hit me. “Oh! Crud! No more stupidmessaging!” I said. “What do we do now?”

  “Yeah…” Charlie scratched his head.

  “Guess we could do paper notes?” I suggested.

  “What is this, 1982?!” he scoffed.

  “Could be fun. Leave them in each other’s lockers. Slip them to each other in the hall. Like spies.”

  “Ohhh. Let’s do it!” he agreed.

  (I knew that spy bit would work.)

  “I’ll let you know when I do the thing,” he told me with a wink as he dumped his bag and coat in the bottom of his locker.

  I hung up my backpack and took off my coat. “You know, you don’t have to rush it.”

  “Love is a fickle beast, Veri. You gotta act on it before it’s gone,” he said dramatically as he slammed his locker and playfully sauntered down the hall.

  My heart sank. Did he just say “love”?

  I tried to shake it off, but the sound of Charlie using the L-word to describe his feelings for Betsy put me in a trance for all of homeroom. I couldn’t even pay attention when the Tech Twins were doing the announcements. All I really gleaned was that the lunch special was meatloaf.

  After that I wandered to the art room, where I knew I could at least drown in the art and not think about things for a little bit.

  “Good job on the announcements,” I told Lizzie and Dean. “Looking forward to that meatloaf.”

  “Never eat the meatloaf,” Dean said.

  I chuckled.

  “No, seriously, don’t,” Lizzie said with a straight face.

  I went back to sketching and felt it start to lighten my mood. It was so nice to feel my emotions without fearing them!

  “That is some spectacular work, Veronica,” Mrs. Brannon said as I started packing up before the bell.

  “Thanks. I was really in the zone today.”

  “It shows!” she said, and gave me a pat on the shoulder.