by Jessica Ames
I can’t bear to look at my brother, but I’m also studiously avoiding Daimon’s gaze. Shame washes over me, humiliation burning through me. He says it doesn’t make any difference to him, that I’m not tainted, but he’s lying. How can I not be tainted by what Sin did to me? I know they all see me as what I never wanted to be—a victim. Helpless.
As everyone readies to leave, I try not to focus on the pain in my chest that is growing tighter by the minute. Sasha steps in front of me and my heart clenches as I wait for her to speak, wondering what she’s going to say.
“Honey, I know it feels like nothing will ever be right again, but believe me you can get past this, I promise.”
She throws her arms around me and hugs me tightly. I’m so taken aback by her show of support that I feel more tears pricking at my eyes. Ravage and Sasha are the last two people I thought would be on my side. I assumed they would support Sin, but now I know he hurt Sasha too, I can see there’s no love there for him. Ravage looks positively homicidal as he moves up behind Sasha, his hands on her shoulders.
“Know there’s shit all I can say to fix this, but I am sorry about what that fucker did to you. Know he’s been dealt with for hurting Sash. Wish we’d known he hurt you too. I would have made it last longer.”
His words make my throat clog and ice settle around my heart. What did they do to Sin? Is that why I haven’t seen him around since Sasha got back?
“You dealt with him?”
“We gave that fucker club justice,” Daimon grinds out and I risk a glance in his direction. His lips are curled into a snarl and the fire blazing from his eyes makes my whole body tremble. He’s pissed and I’m not sure how to fix that, so instead I watch as Sash and Rav move towards the front door, wondering what ‘club justice’ looks like.
“You need us, call,” Sash says to Levi, who nods.
I shrink into myself. I feel like a problem that needs fixing and I hate it. I curl my arms around myself as the sound of the door snicking shut behind them echoes around the room. I peer under my lashes at my brother, who is staring at the floor, his fingers clenched into fists and Layla who is smiling reassuringly at me. I should hate her for exposing my secret, but for the first time in a long time, I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel like I can breathe freely.
Levi steps into my space and my heart squeezes painfully at the raw emotion in his voice when he speaks.
“I should have protected you. I’m sorry I failed.”
Finally, I raise my eyes to his and meet his distraught look. It nearly shreds me to see it there, especially knowing I put it there.
“You didn’t fail me.” I grab his hands and squeeze. “Everything I have is because of you. You gave me a second chance.”
“I brought you to the club, I put you in his sphere.” His brow knits together. “Yeah, Brie, this is entirely on me.” His voice clogs with emotion.
“Ain’t on either of you,” Daimon’s voice cracks through the air. “Only person who should be getting the blame is fucking Sin.”
I shudder at his name before I lick my lips, anxiety making my body tremble.
“Right.”
Levi sighs and peers down at me, forcing me to meet his gaze. “This shit, it changes nothing, you hear me? You’re still my bratty little sister.” He throws his arm around me and drags me against his chest. I go willingly, clinging to him and soaking in the safety, the security he brings. My fingers skim over the leather of his kutte, and I have to remember Sin can no longer hurt me.
When we break apart, Levi peers down at me. “I’m fucking sorry you went through this, Brie. More sorry than I can ever fucking say. I want to kill that cunt over and over for what he did to you.” He kisses my forehead. “We get you help, you’ll talk to someone?” Levi asks.
I want to balk at the idea. The thought of spilling my darkness onto another human being makes me cold all over, the thought of them knowing exactly what he did to me, but I don’t want to disappoint Levi any more than I already have.
“Yeah.”
Relief washes over his face. “I think it’ll help.”
I doubt it, but I nod anyway.
“You want me to stay?”
I shake my head. All I want is to be alone, to process everything. He heads for the door and stops when Daimon doesn’t follow him.
“You coming?”
Daimon doesn’t move, just drops his hands to his hips. “I ain’t leaving.”
My heart skips a beat at his words. He’s not leaving?
My brother doesn’t seem happy about his words, though, and icy fingers claw up my spine as Levi’s eyes narrow. “You ain’t staying either. Ain’t leaving you with my fucking sister.”
Daimon scowls at him.
“What the fuck do you think I’m going to do to her?”
Levi’s face contorts into a mask of rage as he glares at Daimon.
“The last brother she was alone with fucking raped her.”
I see the moment Daimon’s control snaps. He pulls his fist back and slams it into Levi’s jaw with enough force to make my brother stagger back. My heart starts to race. I don’t want them hurting each other.
“Daimon, stop!”
He ignores me, growling out at Levi, “Don’t ever compare me to that motherfucker. I’m nothing like Sin. You think I’d hurt her? Ain’t ever going to touch Brie unless she fucking wants me to. Expected you to know me better than that, brother.”
The way he snarls over the word ‘brother’ has my stomach churning. Layla comes to my side, her hand slipping into mine as she pulls me out of the way of the unfolding fight. I peer at her, my mouth dry, my head throbbing. This is the last thing I want, my brother and… whatever Daimon is to me, fighting over me.
“You shouldn’t be near her full stop. She ain’t a toy for you to play with.”
Levi smashes his knuckles into Daimon’s face, making him stagger back. He swipes at the blood on his top lip, leaving a sinister red smear across his face.
“Stop it!” I cry out, but neither of them listen to me. I go to move between them, needing to do something to bring this to an end, but Layla snags my arm.
“Don’t,” she says. “You’ll get hurt.”
I’m already hurting. I don’t want to see my brother and the man I’m falling for duking it out.
The man I’m falling for?
Shit.
I’m falling for Daimon.
I am falling hard.
The realisation makes the butterflies in my belly take flight and my knees go weak. Thankfully, Layla has hold of me or I’d be on the floor. Does he feel the same? He’s only kissed me once and that was moments ago, when he found out I had been violated. Was it a pity kiss? Did it mean anything? He’s here, fighting for me against my brother. That has to mean something, right?
“If you think I see her as a toy then you need to open your fucking eyes,” Daimon growls out before he ducks to avoid getting slugged in the mouth.
“Both of you just stop it!” Layla yells out. When my brother and Daimon turn to her, both blowing air hard, she drops her hands to her hips. “Don’t you think Brie has been through enough without you two Neanderthals throwing punches?”
Levi looks contrite, but Daimon’s expression doesn’t change.
“Ain’t leaving you alone tonight, baby,” Daimon says to me and my stomach flips at his words. “Don’t care who tries to stop me being here, ain’t leaving.”
“I don’t want you to leave,” I whisper.
I don’t. Daimon has become as important to me as breathing. I need him here. Levi might not like this, but this isn’t his life, he doesn’t get to decide what I do with my time, and he doesn’t get to keep Daimon from me. The truth is, I don’t think I will get through the day without him here.
“Brie—” Levi starts, but I silence him with my hand raising.
“I want him here.”
“And me?”
My heart constricts at his words. I don�
�t want to hurt him, but it’s not Levi I need. It’s Daimon.
“This isn’t about you, Levi,” Daimon interrupts. “It’s about whatever Briella needs to get through this shit.”
“I’m always going to need you,” I tell him. “You’re my brother, but right now, what I need is Daimon.”
Levi’s mouth pulls into a line. I can tell he’s not happy about this shit.
“I’m not a child. Not anymore. I don’t need to be babied.”
He gives me a curt nod.
“Fine, but you need me you call. I’ll be right back here.”
My heart swells. My brother is a good man and I wish I wasn’t having to choose between him and Daimon right now.
“Thank you.”
He leans in and kisses my cheek before he shoots a glare at Daimon and heads for the door. I watch him go and feel some of the weight lift off my shoulders. Layla sighs.
“I’m going to head out for a bit too. You need me—”
“I know. Call.”
She smiles and I mirror her expression. She comes in for a hug. “Love you, bitch. I’m sorry I outed you.”
I should be angry at her for that, but I’m too tired to hold onto that emotion right now. Part of me is relieved it’s out, that I no longer have to carry this burden around, that the truth is out there.
Layla leaves and I hover awkwardly, not sure what to do or say. Daimon doesn’t offer any words and that puts me on edge.
“Daimon?”
He peers up at me, his handsome face blood smeared and already starting to bruise.
“We should clean you up,” I tell him.
He shakes his head. “Come here.”
I don’t move.
“Brie, come here.”
My feet finally start to work and I step towards him. He closes the last gap, striding into my space. He peers down at me and I don’t see pity or disgust in his eyes, but there is still anger lingering.
He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear and I shiver at the touch.
“I’m sorry that shit happened to you,” he says, his voice soft.
“It’s not your fault.”
“Brie, I need you to know that Sin suffered for what he did to Sasha. We didn’t go easy on him either.”
I frown at his words. “I don’t understand.”
He leads me over to the sofa and urges me to sit. I don’t, so he continues anyway.
“Rav was fucking furious—we all were at what Sin did to Sasha. He died slowly and painfully and if I’d known what he did to you, I would have flayed him myself.”
I jolt at his words, all the air getting stuck in my lungs. “Sin’s dead?”
“Yeah, baby. Has been for weeks.”
I take this news in, not sure how to digest the fact that the man who has haunted my waking moments is gone. I’ll never have to see him again, to face him or be afraid of him. I should feel guilty he’s dead, but I don’t. I don’t feel anything.
I peer up at Daimon and I smile. “Tell me how he died.”
19
Daimon
I peer down at her, not sure if telling her the gruesome details of his death will bring her closure or nightmares. I don’t want to pile more hurt onto her plate, but if I can ease even a fraction of her burden, I will. I’m not sure learning the truth will help with that, though.
I make a snap decision, deciding it’s best she doesn’t know what evil we inflicted on a man who we once called ‘brother’.
“Ain’t going to tell you the gory details, baby. I know you think you want them, but hearing it will change you.”
The disappointment in her eyes flays me. I don’t want to let her down, ever, but this is something I need to protect her from.
“I need to know, Daimon.” There’s desperation in her voice that feels like a kick to the balls.
I scrub a hand over my chin. This shit ain’t that simple. It’s club business—it’s Rav’s business—and it’s a dark sordid part of the Sons’ history that I don’t want to wade through. What we did to Sin was gruesome, cold, calculated and deserved. It’s something I didn’t think I’d ever be revisiting.
I rub her arms, relishing the feel of her skin against mine. I need the contact, need to reassure her and myself that I’m doing the right thing by denying her this last closure.
I sigh. “All you need to know is he didn’t go quick. For every hurt he put on Sash, we gave him that back.”
Images flash across my vision of us slicing at his exposed skin, of watching the blood pour down his flesh as he cried for us to stop. We didn’t. Not even Ravage heeded those pleas, just as he never gave a thought to Sasha asking him to stop, to Briella.
She must have been fucking terrified when that animal cornered her. Rav’s brother, a high-ranking member of the club, she must have truly believed she wouldn’t be listened to if she came forward. Before this shit happened with Sasha, I’m not sure she would have been. Our loyalty is first and foremost to our club brothers. Sin was a brother—one I would never have believed capable of rape. Now, I know he’s forced himself on two women I love and that’s shredding me.
“Daimon!” The frustration in her voice sticks in my throat like a claw.
“Ain’t telling you more than that, baby.”
She huffs and flops onto the sofa, her arms folding over her chest. The action pushes her tits up, which I try not to focus on, but I’m only fucking human.
“Ain’t doing this shit to piss you off,” I tell her. “You’ve been through enough, ain’t looking to add to that. What happened to Sin… it was brutal. That’s all you need to know. It’s all I’m going to tell you too. Just know we took vengeance. He suffered, baby. We made sure of it.”
Her big eyes watch me for a moment. “Sit with me.”
I frown at her, not sure it’s a good idea, not sure I can keep my hands to myself if I’m that close to her.
“Please, Daimon.”
I can’t resist that plea. She surprises the fuck out of me by reaching for the remote control before she snuggles against my side.
I feel like a teenage boy, unsure where the fuck to put my hands, but after a moment, I wrap an arm around her and pull her against my side. She wants this and if she wants it, I’m more than willing to give it to her. Hell, I’ll give her the fucking moon on a stick if she asks for it.
Brie puts some shit action flick on, and for the first time in a long time, I’m able to breathe freely. Having her against me unlocks the pain in my chest, makes me feel things I shouldn’t feel.
“I’m sorry,” she says after a while of silence.
“You don’t have shit to be sorry for.”
She moves so she can look at me. “I caused you and Levi to fight.”
“That ain’t on you.”
She peers up at my face, which is probably starting to bruise. “Does it hurt?”
The skin feels like it’s starting to tighten and my jaw is burning a little, but I shake my head. “I’ve had worse.”
Her eyes soften at my words. She knows about my past, she knows what my father was like, because hers was just as bad. If he hadn’t taught me how to take a beating, my time with the Sons had.
“I hate that for you,” she says, her voice quiet.
“You don’t need to feel bad for me, baby. I’ve got a good life now. The Sons gave me that.”
She twitches a little in my arms at the mention of the club and my stomach fills with lead. I brush her hair out of her face.
“Don’t want you scared of the club.”
“I’m not,” she whispers.
“Baby, I know you have reason to be afraid, considering what happened to you, but that shit’ll never happen again. I fucking swear to you.”
“You can’t make that promise.”
“Yeah, Brie, I fucking can. We ain’t good men, but there’s some lines even we won’t cross. We don’t hurt women, ever. What that cunt did to you can’t be undone, but the club ain’t bad. We just had a bad seed in it, that�
�s all. Sin’s gone. Ain’t ever coming back either. No one will touch you again, not while I have breath in my body. Do you trust me?”
Her beautiful eyes crawl over my face, as if trying to see the truth of my words. I don’t know if she finds what she’s looking for, but she leans forward.
“Yeah, Daimon. I trust you.”
Leaning forwards, I press her mouth to mine. She lets me take her, her body sinking against mine as her tongue timidly flicks out to meet mine. I lick across the seam of her mouth and gain entrance inside, taking control. I shouldn’t be fucking kissing her, not after what she revealed, but I need this as much as she clearly does. Since I found out about the rape my skin has been prickling like fire is licking up my body. She’s the water that can douse the flames, and she does. Already, I feel more at ease, more relaxed and when her hands snake up under my kutte to the skin of my back, I take a needed breath. She loosens all the tension in my chest, lets the air move in and out of my lungs freely.
I kiss her like she’s my reason for existing, and she kisses back with as much fervour. I don’t want to go too fast with her, but my control isn’t iron-clad. I tangle my fingers in her hair, wanting to drag her closer, but knowing I need to take things slow, at her pace. The groan against my mouth tells me she’s into it, so I pull her head back, deepening out kiss and I take her mouth, feeling need, desire, want race through me.
When I pull back from her sweet taste, I’m breathless and my head is doing the fucking waltz. She peers up at me through her lashes, her pouty lips swollen, which makes my cock twitch. When she moves to my belt, my hands grab hers, stopping her movement.
“Believe me, baby, I’d love nothing more than to sink into your wet heat, but we don’t have to rush this shit. You’ve been through a lot today.”
I almost laugh at the disappointment in her face. I cup her jaw.
“Trust me, Brie. We’ve got time for more.”
“Okay.”
I kiss her mouth again then settle back onto the sofa. She leans against me, her palm resting over my heart.