Chaotic Love

by Eva Leon

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Damon

  “You seem like you have something on your mind,” I said a few minutes later.

  Finn’s fingers traced delicately over one of my scars. “I wanted to know about these.”

  I tried not to tense up, but I did. He kissed me quickly on the chest, and his eyes pleaded with me as if Finn believed he’d made me angry.

  “I haven’t talked about that with anyone,” I said quietly.

  “I’m sorry,” he responded.

  “It’s not you, baby. I’m not mad or anything. I’m just not sure if I can handle talking about it.”

  “I’m sorry,” Finn said again. “You don’t have to talk about it.”

  But I did. I did need to talk to somebody about it. The fact that I wouldn’t had ended my military career. I wouldn’t cooperate with their shrinks, so I was discharged.

  Unfit for service.

  I was bitter about that for a long time. Hell, I was probably still bitter about it. After all I’d endured to keep their secrets, and they decided that I was unfit to serve.

  Walking away from the military hadn’t been difficult after that. I didn’t owe their doctors a glimpse into my mind. I’d had to tell my commanding officers what happened to me, but nobody got to know how it made me feel.

  Except, I owed it to Finn. My experiences had twisted me into a monster, and until Finn untwisted me, he’d borne the brunt of my darkness.

  “If I tell you about the scars, I’m afraid it will make you hate me. When you know why I am the way I am, you’ll despise me for the way I treated you.”

  “I guess that’s always a chance,” Finn said. “But what would you rather have? Someone who adores you because they don’t know you? Or take the chance that I’ll be angry for a while, but I’ll know you.”

  “I don’t think it will be an angry for a while type of situation, Finn.”

  “You never know,” he said thoughtfully.

  If anyone was going to understand what I went through, it would be Finn. I decided it was better to tell him the truth than to keep it all inside any longer. Whatever the consequences, I’d have to deal with them. If I didn’t want Finn to hate me, then I shouldn’t have treated him the way I did.

  “Okay,” I said and took a deep breath.

  “I served in the Middle East a few years go. I was stationed there for most of my military career, and I’d joined right after high school. I guess you could say I grew up there.

  “Since I’d been there for so long, the military viewed me as somewhat of an expert. I was selected for an important mission infiltrating a terrorist compound. The mission was nearly successful, but in the end, it turned out that our informant had sold us out. We were ambushed, and all but three of us were killed.

  “The three of us who weren't killed eventually wished we were. We were kept alive, barely. They tortured us for information. And while we protected the government’s secrets, the government abandoned us.”

  “No one came to rescue you?” Finn asked.

  “We were told later that while the United States government appreciated our service, they just didn’t have the intel to find us. They were very sorry for what we’d endured, but their hands were tied. I didn’t believe it, and I was angry for a long time because of that. They claimed that didn’t abandon us, but it sure felt like they had.”

  “How did you get away? I mean, if the military didn’t rescue you, then how did you get out?” Finn asked as he traced a scar that ran down my chest.

  “We went through a lot in there,” I said and cleared my throat. “We were kept in cells under the compound at first, but eventually we were moved into the desert. Our cells were holes in the ground with a small set of stairs and a metal door.

  “The doors could only be locked from the outside, so usually when they came in to interrogate us, they came in pairs. There was one guard, though, who wanted more than information. He said that he did what he did to me as a form of humiliation torture, but that wasn’t why. We both knew it, but I was helpless.

  “One night when I couldn’t take the pain of having him inside of me for one more second, I pulled away from him and ran. The gate covering my cell was unlocked, and he’d made the mistake of letting go of his gun while he fucked me. I grabbed it and ran. I didn’t even take the time to shoot him. He was scrambling to get dressed. In his culture, it didn’t matter that I was an infidel, he’d be executed for what he did to me. I didn’t need to kill him. Even if one of the other guards didn’t catch him before he got his pants back on, he’d live the rest of his life wondering if they’d find out. To me, that was better than a bullet to his brain. I didn’t want it over quick.

  “I just took the gun and ran off into the night. I’d hoped that I’d pass the other soldiers’ cells, but mine was the only one in the area. I’d heard the sound of my buddies screaming while I was in there, but it had to have been a recording they used to fuck with me. The guilt of leaving them was heavy, but what could I do? I had no idea where they really were, so I ran. A day later, I stumbled into a town and used a sympathetic shopkeeper’s phone to call my commanding officer before anyone could tell the terrorists where I was. I was extracted an hour later.”

  “You got away, though. You’re strong,” Finn said. “It’s not your fault you had to leave them.”

  “It wasn’t. I know that now.”

  “Do you know what happened to them?”

  “That’s the kicker. Since I escaped, they had a location. It gave them an idea of where the others were, and they used intel to find them. A team went in and extracted the other two men at the same time they were getting me. The insurgents were in the middle of trying to move the hostages, but the team found them anyway.”

  “So you saved them, too.”

  “I guess,” I said. “It doesn’t feel that way most days, though.”

  Finn began to weep again. “I’m sorry. It’s just so terrible.”

  “Hey,” I said. “What I went through is nothing compared to what you’ve endured. But I’m going to make sure that no one ever hurts you again. I promise you that, Finn. I thought that if I could do things to you and not care that it would prove I’m a monster, but I do care. I’m so sorry. I will protect you and make sure that you have anything you want and everything you need.”

  The only way I was going to be able to keep that promise was to get rid of Stanislav. There was no other way. He had to die.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Finn

  I cried myself to sleep in his arms, and when I woke up the next morning, Damon was already up and dressed. He was wearing his MC cut and shoved a gun into the waistband of his pants.

  “What's the gun for?” I asked as I propped myself up on my elbows.

  “I’m going to take care of the Stanislav problem,” he said and started for the door.

  “Wait,” I called out.

  I was up and out of the bed so fast that he looked a little stunned when I threw my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. I pounced on him like a tiger.

  Damon smiled the sweetest smile. “Little Omega, be careful of the gun,” he said as he gently extracted me from my grip and set me down on the floor.

  “You can’t go killing Stanislav, especially not on your own. He’s a monster, and he has tons of guards. It’s suicide to walk in there and try to kill him,” I said, then without taking a breath continued, “How do you think you can kill him and get away with it?”

  “I was able to steal you right from under his nose,” he said with an impish grin.

  I knew that I shouldn’t let him leave, but what could I do? It wasn’t my place to tell him what to do. I’d just have to change tactics.

  He watched me as I backed up and hopped onto the end of the bed. I spread my legs wide and began to play with myself. I rubbed my cock until I was slick and moaned loudly.

  “That’s not fair,” he said, but Damon took the gun out of his waistband and set it on top of the
dresser. “I’ll tell you goodbye properly, but it is goodbye. I have work to do.”

  He undid his pants and pulled out his hard cock. I scooted off the end of the bed and dropped to my knees. “Finn,” he moaned as I took his head into my mouth.

  I swirled my tongue around the tip, and then slid my lips over his shaft until my mouth was stretched wide and his cockhead was practically choking me. I pulled my head back slowly and grazed the tip softly with my teeth.

  “Oh, fuck,” he said. “You are too good at that.”

  I wrapped my hand around the base and sucked him hard until my cheeks hollowed out. I pulled back and released him with a loud pop before running my tongue all the way up the underside of his erection.

  My head dipped lower, and I gently sucked one side of his sac between my lips before releasing it and taking the other. I was about to go back to blowing Damon when his hand hooked under my arms. He lifted me up and tossed me on the bed.

  In one swift movement, he was between my thighs. Damon ran his tongue from my asshole to the tip of my cock and then flicked the underside of the head with light strokes. I moaned and writhed, but he grabbed my hips and held me still.

  When I was close to coming, Damon wrapped his lips around my cock and sucked until white-hot pleasure shot through my body from head to toe. I was screaming his name as he swallowed my cum. My toes curled as the last quakes of the orgasm ripped through my body.

  I’d barely recovered from my climax and Damon was on his feet. He nudged my asshole with his cock before sinking into me. “Aren’t you going to take your clothes off?” I asked as he pushed in. I could barely get the words out, it felt so good to be stretched wide by his enormous girth.

  “I think all of the important parts are accessible,” he said and thrust into me hard.

  My eyes rolled back into my head, and all I could do was cry out when his hand found my cock and he began to stroke me in time with his aggressive thrusts. It was evident that he intended to fuck me hard and fast. I grabbed the comforter and held on as he rutted in and out of me.

  He surprised me by wrapping his free hand around my back and pulling me up so that I was vertical with him. I wrapped my legs around him and used my thighs and feet to ride him. I was impaled on his big cock, and his hand was between us working mine.

  “Damon,” I moaned.

  “That’s right, baby. Come for me. Come all over my cock.”

  My muscles clenched, and that was it. Damon had to hold me up as the climax washed over me. “Oh, shit,” he gritted out as I took him over the edge. We fell onto the bed, and he controlled the last thrusts as his ejaculation filled me. Mine coated my stomach as he exacted my release too.

  “Thank you,” he said and kissed my nose sweetly as he pulled out.

  “You’re still going to go,” I pouted.

  “Yes, but I promise you that I’ll return tonight to have you again. You have my word.”

  “You better,” I teased, and for a moment, fear clenched my chest. Would he get mad at me for being mouthy? Had I crossed the line?

  “I had no idea that a good dicking would make you so sassy,” he said with a smile.

  There was nothing I could do to stop him from going, so I kissed him goodbye. When he was on the other side of the door, I whispered, “I love you.” It surprised the hell out of me, but at least I didn’t have to worry about him hearing me.

  My hand absentmindedly went to the doorknob. On impulse, I turned it. The latch popped and the door opened. He hadn’t locked me in. I was free to go? There was nothing stopping me from leaving. Damon hadn’t locked me in the bedroom, but was that the only thing keeping me there?

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Damon

  I’d heard him say it. The Omega said he loved me, so I didn’t lock the door. Finn probably didn’t think I heard him, which made me believe it was the truth, but I knew one way to be sure. I left the door unlocked. If he loved me, he’d be there when I got back. If he wasn’t there, then I didn’t deserve him.

  If Finn did leave me, I’d track him down and make sure he had everything he needed in life. One way or another, I’d care for Finn for as long as he lived, but I’d never lock him away again.

  The thought of coming home and finding him gone made a lump form in my throat, but I swallowed it and went out to the garage. I got on my bike and pulled out into the road. For better or worse, I was going to do what I had to do to keep Finn safe.

  I could end up dead either because Stanislav’s men got me or because my brothers decided that I shouldn’t have taken Finn and murdered his captor, but either way, he’d be fine.

  Part of me wondered if I should have taken Finn to the courthouse and married him so he could inherit my estate if I died, but there wasn’t time for that. Stanislav had to die that day.

  But I had an idea. I pulled the bike over and shot off a message to my lawyer. If anything happened to me, he’d make sure Finn got everything.

  What I needed to decide was whether there was anyone in the MC who would help me or if I should go it alone. If nothing else, I could trust Frank, the prospect. I’d go get him and drag his ass along to help me take out Stanislav. If it came down on our heads, I knew that I’d take responsibility.

  The others would be pissed when they found out that I was about to kill our best supplier. I’d be able to explain it to them eventually, but I didn’t have time right then. I’d already seen Slavie in the clubhouse, so he couldn’t have been too far off my trail.

  I parked my bike in the lot at the club. There were a few bikes, but one thing was absent. I was relieved to find that Stanislav’s vehicle was nowhere in sight.

  The prospect wasn’t around. I asked one of the old-timers at the bar if he’d seen him.

  “Prospect’s out on an errand,” the grizzled old biker we called Pirate said before draining his beer.

  I didn’t want to wait, so I left without him. The ride to Slavie’s neighborhood felt like it took forever. When I got there, I parked my bike around the corner.

  It was broad daylight, so I didn’t have the darkness to help cover me. But, I didn’t want to walk through the front door with guns blazing either. I decided the best thing to do was go through the back.

  After sneaking around the side of the house, I took aim and shot the guard at the back door in the head. I hated to kill people who were just doing their jobs, but that guard was the one who’d been going into the Omega’s cell the night I took Finn. I didn’t feel that bad about putting a slug in his brain.

  The sun felt hot on the back of my neck. It made me feel as if I had a spotlight on me. The neighbors would call the cops soon enough, and that meant I had to get in and out.

  Once the guard was down, I opened the door and stepped through. I found myself in a mudroom off the kitchen.

  I shot another in the kitchen and two more in the hallway. One of the guards in the hall got a shot off that grazed my shoulder. I almost dropped my gun, but I held steady.

  Before I made it all the way down the hall, I heard Stanislav’s voice. “Enough.”

  I whirled around to shoot him, and someone stepped out of the room I was closest to. The guard behind me brought the butt of his gun down on the back of my head. The world swam for just a moment before everything went black.

  When I came to, I’d been dragged down to the basement. I wasn’t in the room with the cages, but another empty concrete room.

  Stanislav had a gun leveled at me and a few guards surrounded him. “You think I didn’t know immediately that you took him?” he snarled. “I thought you were smarter than that. I’ve had someone following you since you stole my property. I knew you were on your way.”

  “You let me kill three of your men before you stopped me. Why would you do that if you knew I was coming?”

  “Because they were shit employees anyway, and it helped lure you into my trap.”

  “The MC isn’t going to care that I stole your Omega. If you kill me, you’ll be bringing
a war you don’t want to fight to your doorstep.”

  “They’d have to know I killed you,” he said and cocked his gun. “That’s going to be our little secret. One you’ll take to the grave.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Finn

  I walked out of the bedroom and instead of feeling free, I felt like all of the wind had been sucked from my lungs. My hand shot out and met the wall. I had to stand there for a few minutes taking deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth while the world spun around me.

  I’d had no idea that being turned loose would be so terrifying. Part of me wanted to go back into the bedroom, but I told myself that I didn’t have to leave to explore the house. If Damon wanted to give me run of his home, I didn’t have to spend the day locked in the bedroom. There had to be lots of things to do in a house like his.

  “Maybe there’s a pool,” I said to myself once the walls stopped spinning.

  I’d never been swimming, and it probably wasn’t a good idea to go alone, but I could put my toes in. If there wasn’t a pool, then maybe there was a television. Watching whatever I wanted all day sounded better than sitting in the bedroom staring at the wall.

  I walked down the hall, slowly luxuriating in every step. It was still impossible to believe how soft the carpet could be. In the past, any carpet I’d encountered had been crunchy, dirty, and scratchy. The floor was probably a weird thing to fixate on, but it was a stark reminder of how different my world was when I was with Damon. The air smelled so clean too. Every other place I’d lived smelled of stale cigarette smoke and fear sweat.

  My stomach rumbled, and instead of trying to find a pool or television, I decided to look for the kitchen. I found it after a few minutes of searching.

  For a moment, I was afraid to cross the threshold. I’d have been beaten in the past for walking into an owner’s kitchen without permission. Could I really just walk in and take whatever I wanted?