Cross My Heart

by Robin Lee Hatcher

  He turned from the sink and stepped to the kitchen table where Andrew Henning’s Bible lay open to 1 Corinthians. Ben had spent time this morning reminding himself what love meant. True Christian love. Unselfish love. The kind that put another person first. He knew what he wanted, but what did Ashley want? That’s all that mattered for now.

  Drawing a deep breath, he went to the front door where he put on a light jacket, just enough warmth against the crisp October morning air. Then he slapped a baseball cap onto his head and opened the door. Dusty darted outside ahead of him and ran toward the barn. In the time Ben had been away from the window, Ashley had disappeared from sight. He assumed she’d gone to her office now that all the horses were fed. Dusty, no doubt, planned to join her two dogs.

  As Ben stepped down from the porch, the crunch of tires on gravel caused him to stop and turn his gaze toward the driveway. Recognizing Emily Cooper’s black Ford truck, he changed direction, feeling guilty that he’d forgotten he arranged for her to come by that morning.

  “Hey, Emily.”

  “Hey, Ben.” She dropped to the ground and closed the truck door. “How goes it?”

  “Good.”

  “Gorgeous morning.”

  “Sure is.”

  Her gaze swept the barnyard and fields. “You’ve been a busy man since the open house. Is that where you’re putting the new stables?” She motioned with a tip of her head toward the cleared and leveled area beyond the barn.

  “Yeah. The crew’ll start construction next week. There’ll be an indoor arena too. I think I told you that.”

  “You did.”

  They started walking toward the barn.

  Emily asked, “But you still don’t plan to have your first sessions until February?”

  “Nothing official. At least not riding sessions. I’d rather not rush it. Do you agree?”

  “Yes. You’ll have plenty to keep you busy until then. Volunteers to train. Tack to get ready. More advertising. There’s a lot to be done.”

  They reached the barn, and he opened the small door to take them inside. “Ashley,” he called.

  She stepped into the doorway of her office. Her expression revealed nothing.

  “You remember Emily. I think I forgot to tell you she was coming this morning.”

  “Yes, you did forget. Hi, Emily. Good to see you again.”

  “You too. Ben told me you’ve got a few more horses on the place. Any with riding potential?”

  “You mean from the rescues?” Ashley glanced at Ben, then quickly away. “One of them, maybe. Let me grab my jacket, and I’ll show her to you.”

  A few moments later, the three of them headed outside on their way to the farthest paddock. The dogs ran ahead of them, racing and tumbling over one another in their excitement. Ashley smiled at the dogs’ antics, and Ben felt his spirits lighten when he saw it. He shortened his stride and allowed the women to move on ahead of him. Neither of them seemed to notice his absence as they slipped between rails to enter the pasture, making their way to where the horses grazed. Ben stopped at the fence and leaned his arms on the top rail. He couldn’t hear their conversation, but he sensed that talking to someone who loved horses as much as she did would brighten Ashley’s spirits. He smiled to himself, thankful for that. Thankful for anything that would put her more at ease.

  * * *

  “You must be in seventh heaven,” Emily said after she’d inspected the three newest arrivals at the farm.

  “Sorry?”

  “Getting to work here all the time instead of just volunteering.”

  “Oh.” She looked at the horses, then let her gaze sweep over the land before looking at Emily again. “Yes. I guess that’s a good way to describe it.”

  “You plan to take on more rescues, don’t you?”

  “Definitely. There’s plenty of room for them here. I didn’t have anywhere close to enough space at my place. Four horses maxed me out.”

  Emily grinned. “I’ll bet you’ve always loved horses.”

  “For as long as I can remember.”

  “Me too.”

  Ashley nodded.

  “Did you compete when you were younger? Barrel racing or anything like that?”

  “No. I wasn’t ever into that kind of thing. And I didn’t have a trailer until I was out on my own, so all of my riding as a teen was done in or near the pasture I rented, unless I could bum a ride from somebody else. What about you?”

  “I loved to jump when I was young.” Emily turned her back to the horses. “My dream was to be in the Olympics one day, but reality set in early. We didn’t have the money to buy a horse of Olympic caliber nor to get me the kind of training I would need.” She shrugged. “I was disappointed for a while, and then I realized I didn’t need to be in the show ring to enjoy my horses.”

  “What got you into equine therapy?”

  “I stumbled upon it, actually. There was a fancy-dress fundraiser, and a friend told me about the event because it had to do with horses. I was intrigued, so I decided to check it out. Before I knew it, I was volunteering for a barn in Ontario. Eventually I became a certified instructor.”

  “I’m surprised you haven’t started a program of your own.”

  Emily laughed. “No, thanks. I didn’t have the setup for that. Besides, I don’t want the headache and paperwork. I’d rather be working with the horses and helping people. Management isn’t my thing.” She looked across the pasture. “Seems to be Ben’s thing. I’ve never known anybody more focused and organized than he is.”

  Ashley’s gaze went in the same direction, but Ben was no longer where she’d last seen him. Despite herself, she felt a sting of disappointment.

  “What made you decide to work for him?” Emily asked.

  “I was an unhappy girl when I got my first horse. A gelding named Gus. He rescued me. I’d like to help make that happen for others. This seemed like the best way to do that.” Her words served as another reminder of why she wanted to keep working for the Harmony Barn—for Ben.

  “Looks like you’re going to be doing that. I plan to start training sessions with our volunteers in a couple of weeks.”

  “We’ll be ready. Me and the horses, I mean.”

  Tuesday, April 4, 1944

  Samuel Valentine arrived in Idaho on Louisa’s eighteenth birthday. Before leaving the house for the train depot, Andrew overheard Louisa telling her younger sister that Samuel coming on her birthday was a sign. It meant they were destined to be together. Francine, eleven years old and not the least interested in boys, told Louisa that she was stupid. The remark had made Andrew smile, despite his concern for his oldest daughter.

  Samuel’s appearance had improved since the last time Andrew saw him. No patch covered his eye, and the cuts on his face were mostly healed, although there would be some scarring. The cast had been removed from his left arm. His missing fingers were disguised beneath a glove. He moved with a slight limp, one others might not notice if they weren’t looking for it.

  On the depot platform, Andrew shook the younger man’s hand. “You’re looking good, Samuel. Very good.”

  “Thank you, sir. I’m feeling better too. It’s good of you to allow me to come.” His gaze flicked to Louisa, then back again.

  Andrew took a step back. “I’d like you to meet my wife, Helen Henning.”

  “Mrs. Henning. A pleasure.” Samuel tipped his head to her.

  “Welcome to Idaho,” Helen said.

  Samuel smiled briefly, then turned toward Louisa. “It’s good to see you again.”

  “You too.” She blushed and lowered her gaze, apparently overtaken by a sudden shyness.

  Taking pity on her, Andrew motioned toward the end of the platform. “Our automobile is parked over that way. Do you have any other luggage?”

  “No, sir. Only this.” He picked up the duffel bag that he’d dropped near his right foot upon meeting them.

  “Then we’ll be on our way.” Andrew hooked arms with his wife and led the w
ay, leaving Samuel and Louisa to follow behind.

  At the car, Helen insisted that Samuel ride up front with Andrew while she rode in the back with Louisa. “It’s more comfortable and you can see everything better.” Andrew assumed his wife would also prefer not to have to keep looking over her shoulder throughout the drive back to the farm to see what the young couple was doing.

  It turned out that Samuel appreciated the offer. A city boy from the East, he took unexpected interest in the passing countryside. He asked numerous—and intelligent—questions about crops, irrigation, and livestock. Andrew found himself liking the young man even more than he had already.

  “That’s our farm up ahead on the right,” he said when the house and barn came into view. “And since we’re short on bedrooms, our neighbors across the road have opened their home to you.”

  “I hate putting anybody out.”

  “You’re not. The Finkels are delighted to host one of our brave fighting men. You’ll understand why after you meet them.” He slowed the automobile and turned into the driveway. “It’s past lunchtime. I imagine you’re hungry.”

  “I wouldn’t mind eating, sir.”

  “Good. I’m hungry too. Come on inside, and we’ll see what there is to eat.”

  Chapter 24

  The last day of October arrived with gray skies and much colder temperatures, making it the perfect day for Ashley to sit at the desk in her office in order to finish the final chapter of the book she’d been reading. After turning the last page, she closed the cover, her heart aching yet filled with joy at the same time. The stories of traumatized kids finding healing through interactions with horses had brought her to tears a number of times. She was so thankful Ben had loaned the book to her, and so thankful she’d finally read it, even if it had taken her too long to do so.

  Reaching for a tissue, she dabbed her eyes. Speed raised his head from the floor and looked at her with something akin to sympathy.

  “I’m fine,” she told the border collie.

  The dog lowered his head to the floor once again, this time with a groan.

  Ashley got up from the chair and left her office, reaching for her jacket as she passed the coatrack near the door. No horses were in the stalls. If not for the creaking caused by the persistent wind, all would have been silent. The construction crew was gone today. Ashley didn’t know why they’d taken the day off—Halloween wasn’t an official holiday, after all—but the absence of noise from the direction of the new stables and arena made her feel abandoned. Ben was gone from the farm today as well, and she felt his absence even more than the lack of pounding hammers and shouts from the workers. Strange, since they’d interacted so little over the past couple of weeks, even when he was there.

  The ache in her chest intensified. An ache that had nothing to do with the poignant book she’d finished and everything to do with the wall she’d put up between herself and Ben. He’d honored that wall, as she’d demanded. Trouble was it hadn’t made her feel any better. She missed the way they’d been before he’d kissed her. Before he’d told her about his past.

  That thought circled her around to her brother. He’d finally allowed their mother to see him at the jail, once in person, a few times via video conference. Mom had invited Ashley to join one of those sessions. She’d declined. Dylan might have allowed it. Ashley wasn’t ready yet.

  Giving her head a shake, she opened the barn door, Speed following at her heels. The wind tried to push her back inside. She leaned into it and closed the door behind her. Now that she was outside, she heard a few other sounds—the clucking of hens coming from the direction of the coop, a whicker from one of the horses. She turned toward the nearest pasture and saw Dusty and Jack running through the grass at the far end near a row of trees.

  “How come you’re not with them?” she asked Speed. As if in answer, the border collie darted away from her in pursuit of his canine friends.

  Ashley laughed softly.

  The crunch of tires on gravel drew her around, and she watched the familiar old Buick roll to a stop near the front door of the house. A moment later Grant Henning got out from behind the wheel. He squinted as he looked around. A smile replaced the squint when he saw her.

  “Ashley!” He waved.

  “Mr. Henning.” She walked toward him. “It’s nice to see you.”

  “It’s been too long, young lady. I was rather hoping you would join us at church again.”

  “Sorry. I’ve meant to. I really have. Things in my life got a bit . . . crazy.”

  “Life can do that.”

  She nodded, then said, “Ben isn’t here. I don’t know when he’ll be back.”

  “Actually, Ashley, I was hoping you would give me a tour. Let me see the changes my grandson’s made to the place since the open house.”

  “Me? Shouldn’t Ben show you around?”

  “I’d rather have a pretty girl for a tour guide. Come on. Humor me. I’m here and Ben’s not.” He offered his elbow, along with a grin.

  She was helpless against that grin. It was so very like Ben’s. The one that seemed to take hold of her heart even when she didn’t want it to. “Okay.” She placed her fingertips into the crook of his arm. “We’ll start with the barn.”

  They moved at an unhurried pace. Grant Henning didn’t say much as they checked out the barn; the stables and arena that were currently under construction; the chicken coop, newly populated; the new paddocks with their fresh white fences; and the horses grazing therein. Mostly he nodded and made an ummm sound every so often to let her know he was listening. When they’d seen it all, he invited her to sit with him on the porch.

  “Thank you for showing me around.” He lowered himself onto one of the chairs. “I’m amazed by all that’s been accomplished since the last time I was here. Simply amazed.”

  “Your grandson’s very focused on the end goal.”

  “Indeed.” The older man’s gaze moved from Ashley to the land, and a faraway look entered his blue eyes. “My granddad, Andrew Henning, loved this farm. He worked it into his sixties, but when he started to have health issues, the farm came to me. My dad loved the place too. It was supposed to be his, but in the end, the farm skipped that generation and came to me. I was the one who had a passion for farming above all else. Then it skipped another generation before it went to our Ben.”

  Our Ben. The words caused a frisson in her stomach.

  “Grandpa Andrew was a man with a deep personal faith in God. His faith got him through many rough patches in life. The Great Depression. Raising five kids, three of them adopted. World War II.” He fell silent for a short while, then cleared his throat and continued. “He told me that we’re put on this earth, first of all, to come to know God through Jesus, and after that to discover His purpose for us so we can fulfill that purpose for all we’re worth right up until we step into eternity.” He met her gaze again. “I believe Ben has found his purpose with this equine therapy business.”

  “I think you’re right,” she said softly.

  “But he followed a very difficult path to get to there.”

  “He told me.”

  “I wonder if he told you everything.” The older man’s eyes seemed to look beyond the farmland into the past. “It began with the foolishness of youth. He and his best friend Craig got drunk, and then Ben got behind the wheel. There was an accident. They could have both died. It was a miracle they didn’t. Sadly, Craig ended up in a wheelchair, and Ben ended up saddled with a guilt that he tried to assuage with more alcohol.”

  Ashley felt her heart break a little over this latest revelation.

  “My wife and I feared he would be lost for good. We prayed against that end for a long, long time. But the day came that he encountered the love of Christ, and he was changed by it. Immediately in some ways. Slowly in others. But changed forever. He’s a good man. One of the best.”

  I know. Her throat was too tight to say it aloud.

  “Well.” He put his hands on the chair arms
and pushed himself to his feet. “I’d best be on my way. Thanks again for the tour. And please. Think about joining us for church again soon. You are a pleasant addition to our after-church lunches.”

  Before Ashley could answer him, a black SUV turned into the driveway and drove up to the house. She moved to the edge of the porch and watched as the driver, a middle-aged man with a receding hairline, got out. He held a clipboard beneath his left arm and a pen in his right hand.

  “May I help you?” she asked, moving to the top of the steps.

  “Not really. I’m here to do an appraisal.” His gaze flicked to the dogs on the porch behind her. “Do I have to worry about being bitten?”

  “An appraisal?” Maybe Ben was taking out a loan. But why would he do that after the successful fund-raiser earlier in the month?

  “Yes, miss. An appraisal.”

  “Who hired you?” she asked, still unsure.

  The man glanced at the papers on his clipboard. “The attorney representing a Wendy Henning.”

  She heard Grant suck in a breath as he stepped to her side. She looked at him.

  The older man’s expression was stern. “I’m sorry, but Wendy Henning is not the owner of this property. She has no authority to hire you to do an appraisal.”

  “Really?” He looked at the papers again. “My boss’s note says I need to get this done ASAP because of a hearing.”

  Grant’s voice dropped to a whisper. The resolve left his face. His body seemed to sag. “A hearing.” He slowly returned to the porch chair and sat down.

  Feeling suddenly protective of her friend, Ashley stepped toward the stranger and his clipboard. “I’m the manager here. Why don’t you give me your business card, and I’ll make sure the owner calls you when he returns. His name is Ben Henning. But until he gives the okay, I can’t let you have access to the farm.”

  The man opened his mouth as if to argue, then closed it again before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a business card. Ashley took it from him. Then she stood there, not moving an inch until he got back into his SUV and drove away. Only after the automobile was on the road did she hurry back to the porch.