Finesse

by Vera Roberts

  “Well, duh.” I can admit when I’m wrong. Every guy has reminded me of what he never was. Every guy reminded me of what he used to do. Every guy, I compared to him on some level.

  No wonder my Black ass stayed single. “I just need to get everything settled with Daddy’s estate first.” I take out a step stool and start to straighten some cupboards. “And maybe once the business is settled and everything is ran perfect as can be, I can entertain someone.”

  There was a small silence between us as Hayley put the cookies in the oven and I continued to straighten the cupboards. “So, Finesse asked about you the other day.” Hayley suddenly spoke.

  I was waiting for her to mention him. I knew she saw him at the funeral and out of respect for me, she didn’t talk to him in front of me. I’m sure they’ve exchanged words at some point. “That’s lovely.”

  Hayley turned towards me and I feel baby girl’s energy from under the Hello Kittys. I concentrated on the putting the coffee bags just right. I always had a bit of anal retentiveness when it came to business and it paid off. It was voted the most successful shop in East Atlanta.

  Hearing my ex’s name clearly bothered me more than she wanted to admit. Maybe there were some unresolved issues between us or me just being salty at the way things ended. We never did have any closure. It was just a full stop.

  Maybe that was the way things were meant to be. Sometimes when there’s no closure, you need to create your own. I did and apparently, he didn’t. Or maybe I’m just overreacting. For all I know, he just came to pay his respects and that’s it.

  I feel Hayley’s eyes poring through me. I’ve never spoken much about my relationship with Finesse after the breakup because there wasn’t a damn thing to say about it. “You’re okay with him being in town?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” I shrug. “It’s not that he ever left.”

  “Well, the fact you two used to date…” Hayley began.

  “That was a long time ago.” I reply. It really wasn’t. A year, two weeks, and three days to be exact, but who’s really counting?

  “The fact he was your first true love and you were together for damn near six months,” Hayley mentions like I somehow forgot.

  Believe me, I’ve tried in vain to forget about that. Six months is not a long time to be committed to someone. I chalk it up to I was in college and about to graduate. I didn’t need a lot of time to wonder if Finesse would “wait for me.”

  When a man has to choose between the love of the streets and the love of a woman, there’s no question which comes first and it damn sure is never the woman. “We’re not married nor did we ever make it to that point.” Not really the truth. The reminder of everything is still hidden in my bedroom.

  “And the fact you have straightened out the same cupboard for the past ten minutes.” Hayley folded her arms. She watched me stood back and realized my mistake. “I mean, how many times are you gonna stack the same shelf, Pooh?”

  I manage to step down and look at my work. The cabinets could be a tad bit straighter but that’s good enough. I need to wipe down the tables and set the chairs. And finally, I need to have that classic smile my daddy always had when he greeted every customer.

  It didn’t matter how big or small their wallets were, everyone got the same treatment from him. I hope to embody that and make him proud.

  “I’m done stocking,” I say with a proud smile. “How are the cookies coming along?”

  “They’re in the oven, Ms. Avoiding the Damn Question.” Hayley folded her arms.

  I sigh and shake my head. “I don’t care why he’s back in town. Clearly, he has unfinished business here and I will not stand in his way of doing…” I gesticulate. “…whatever the hell he’s doing.”

  “You know his unfinished business is you.” Hayley shrugs and goes back to baking cookies.

  That may be the case, but I’m not going to seek out the truth. He knows I’m in town and he doesn’t have to ask around about how I’ve been doing or what I’ve been up to. He was at the funeral; he knows exactly what’s up.

  There’s also something different about Finesse that isn’t typical with a lot of white boys from the city of Buckhead. Finesse is famous for being infamous. Notorious is a more apt description.

  Finesse is one of Atlanta’s most dangerous drug lords.

  ~~~~~

  When I think back to our relationship, I wonder about how everything played out. There was never a definitive This is how I knew moment. Being honest with myself, I’ve always knew what Cameron did, even if I unconvincingly lied to myself about it.

  So, how did a white boy become one of the city’s notorious drug dealers? I’m not entirely sure but the story goes something like this:

  Finesse came from a wealthy background. His government name is Cameron Lucas Page and if anyone knows anything about Georgia politics, he’s the son of Senator Eric Page. It’ll be revealed why his father turns a blind eye to his son’s antics in a short while.

  Both parents live in the home but it was the stereotypical fare found in a lot of wealthy families – Daddy’s out working, Mommy’s inside drinking, Daddy has numerous girlfriends while Mommy knows and keeps silent because she likes the lifestyle and she’s not going to give up her Bentleys and Blahniks for a young forgettable ho.

  Somewhere in the mess, kids are born, nannies and cooks are hired, and all is well for the annual Christmas card picture with their dogs and matching outfits. Wash, rinse, and repeat.

  Of course, wealthy white boys with access to endless money and never know how the word no, tend to get bored and often, get into a lot of trouble. Cameron was no different.

  Cameron was friends with Zion, who had an affiliation with a local gang. Sometimes Cameron would hang out with Zion while he was with his gang friends. Cameron often saw numerous drug transactions take place and was allegedly offered an ‘in’ to participate.

  He got the street name Finesse by how he easily he did things. It was as if he didn’t even have to try; he just did it. Negotiating? Easy. Various pick-ups with no problems? Done. Threatening to take out an entire family, with child included? Wouldn’t even blink.

  And somehow, I ended up being his.

  Book II

  Past

  One

  We met at a nightclub some years ago when I was almost 21 and he was already in the streets at 25. I was dancing with my girls, getting lit, and having a great time. And there he was – smooth as ever with a turtleneck and gold chain (a lethal combination, by the way) and an aura that told me he was boss.

  “Girl, you see that white boy checking you out.” Hayley yelled to me over a trap beat.

  How could I not notice him? He had dark brown hair that bordered on chestnut. He had sharp cheekbones that led to plump lips, and a wide, chiseled jawline. His lips had a natural, sensual curve as if he was always about to kiss someone or pursing his lips to keep them quiet. Maybe both.

  His eyes stunned me; they weren’t quite brown but they weren’t grey or dark. The light brown with a golden hue. Everything about him announced to everyone who was in charge, even if they didn’t know who he was.

  The way he looked screamed bored and rich and I just know how those white boys are. You would think disposable income would make a guy get into legitimate hobbies like sailing, car collecting, and whatever else those bored assholes do.

  He spelled trouble and I wasn’t quite sure if he was the good trouble.

  “I see him.” I shrug it off. I know how a woman can appear thirsty to a first sight of interest. When guys know you’re thirsty, all they want to do is hit and that’s it.

  “And?” Hayley shrugs. “You’re a grown woman.”

  “I’m not a stupid woman.” I counter. I look back and see mystery man with his boys. There’s something a bit off about that whole set-up. It’s not too often where I see a white guy hanging out with a bunch of black dudes and he’s not a rapper or a basketball player.

  He fits in a little too easily and
I can’t explain why. I guess I’m waiting for the blaccent to come out.

  “Girl, whatever.” Hayley headed to the bar and I followed her. We stand in line for a six-dollar water because I know they’re about to charge us for something that should be free. “You need to live a little, Tay. All you do is study.”

  “And that’s why I have straight A’s.” I counter. “When I study, I’m in those books and not in someone’s pants.”

  Hayley walked up to the counter. “It doesn’t matter if you get all C’s in college, neither. No one cares about that stuff when you’re hired and you’re doing whatever the hell you want to do.”

  “Well, I care. I’m trying to take over Daddy’s business one day so he doesn’t have to work so hard.” I know I don’t need a college degree for that, but it doesn’t hurt to have one. “That’s important to me.”

  “Your daddy will be fine.” Hayley replied as two cocktails were placed in front of us. “And we didn’t order this.”

  “No,” the bartender nodded behind us. “They did.”

  We turned around and saw several men hold up their glasses. I recognized the lone one who didn’t; the white boy who was eyeballing me like an accountant going over final receipts.

  “Well, shit, let us say thank you.” Hayley picked up her drink and sashayed her way over to the men. When she noticed I wasn’t following her, she stayed still. “I’m. Going. Over. To. Say. Thank. You.”

  I reluctantly picked up my drink and joined her. “We’re saying thank you and leaving.”

  “We’re saying thank you and bitch, don’t kill my vibe.” She said through gritted teeth as we approached the men.

  “Ladies,” a tall, chocolate brotha stood up. He had dark skin, beautiful smile, and smelled wonderful. “Thank you for joining us.”

  “Thank you for buying our underage asses some drinks,” Hayley smiled. “I’m Hayley, by the way.” She looked over at me and gave a wink. “And this is my friend, Taylor. Those are our real names, by the way.”

  “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Que.” He took Hayley’s hand and kissed it. I strained not to roll my eyes. “As long as you’re 18, it’s all good, baby girl.”

  “Mmm….” Hayley moaned and I’m starting to count down when I can finally hurry up and leave. “….it will be.” She sat down next to Que and they began to converse. Not conversate, but converse.

  I’m still standing with my drink and I’m contemplating if I should even take a sip. I don’t know these dudes. And I’ve watched too many indie Netflix movies about a man slipping something into a woman’s drink and the next thing she knows, she’s in a bathtub with a warning not to get up.

  “Yo, baby girl!” Que directs me to a seat as he scoots out of the way. “Come sit with us.”

  I really don’t want to but I don’t want to look like a stuck-up bitch who thinks she’s too good for the hood. I sit down between Que and the White boy who doesn’t look like he quite belongs in a hip-hop club. Come to think of it, I’m not sure why he’s even here and not at some rock concert.

  “Good evening,” the white boy talks to me, “I’m Cameron.”

  “Hi Cameron,” I don’t want to be here but I’m not going to be rude, “I’m Taylor.”

  “Nice to meet you, Taylor.” He flashes this dazzling smile at me and I feel slightly weak. Slightly. His voice is deep and he smells just so damn wonderful. A combination of soap, wood, and just plain man. “Are you having a good time tonight?”

  “Yes.” I smile back at him, while I take another deep inhale of his scent. My body responds like it was meant for him. “Are you?”

  “Better now that you’re here with me.” He smiled. Cheesy pick-up line but I do appreciate the effort.

  There was a small silence between us we enjoyed the music. Hayley already made friends with Que and the other women in the group. And then there was me, sipping my drink and looking all sorts of out of place like the weird member of Destiny’s Child.

  “You don’t talk very much,” Cameron noted.

  “Observant.” I nodded.

  “It’s when you’re quiet that’s when you have the most power. Everyone is constantly wondering what you’re doing, what you’re up to, what you’re planning next. You’re always keeping someone guessing with your moves.” He smooth baritone brought a shiver to me. “If you’re going to be loud, don’t be wrong.”

  “Duly noted.” I nodded. “Are you always the quiet type?”

  “Sometimes.” He replied with a wink. “But only when it’s necessary.”

  I would later discover that was how Cameron talked. He said just enough but never revealed anything. “And when is it necessary?”

  “When I’m listening to a beautiful woman.” His eyes swept over my appearance. “Then I always keep my mouth shut.”

  A tingle courses through my body and I ignore it. The last thing I need is to be some bumbling fool with some guy I don’t even know and he’ll feel because he told me I looked pretty, that’s his cue to get in my pants.

  I look over and see the slightest smile forming on Cameron’s lips. Damn, they look so soft and moisturized. I can tell hanging around Black people actually influenced that white boy about moisturizing. None of them look ashy.

  “What’s on your mind, baby girl?” He sets his drink down and puts his arm behind me. He doesn’t touch me and he’s very respectful. “Are you comfortable?”

  “Very.” My nerves are gone. “Are you?”

  “I’m always comfortable, baby.” His tongue darts out to wet his lips and I don’t think I’ve ever been so jealous of lips before. I shake my head of the thoughts and he notices it. “Are you okay?”

  “I am.” I’m embarrassed he saw me but he cannot know what I was really thinking. “So, what is it that you do, Cameron?”

  “I own an enterprise.” He’s intentionally vague again. “I have many businesses connected under one umbrella. Tech companies, real estate, auto dealers…” He nods. “…just a plethora of stuff.”

  I was expecting to say something like he’s a hustler, an IG model, influencer, YouTuber…and instead he actually tells me of the legit businesses he owns. It’s more impressive considering how old he is. Wait…how old is he? “You look pretty young.”

  “I’m 25.” He mentions. “And yes, I am pretty young.”

  “And you own all of that at 25?” Now my spidey senses are telling me it’s not his businesses but maybe his parents. The nepotism is strong with this one.

  “I do.” He repeats and he already knows I don’t believe him. “I wouldn’t lie about being rich, baby girl.”

  “You don’t have to lie.” I already know his type. Why lie when money does it for him? “But you don’t have to be completely honest, neither.”

  He glances over at me and I catch the faintest hint of mischievousness in his eyes. I don’t know if he’s lowkey annoyed and is keeping his cool in front of his boys or if the gleam is something more. A part of me wants to find out.

  “I hope you enjoy your drink,” he mentions as he sips on something brown and strong, “don’t worry about paying for anything tonight. Me and the fellas got it.”

  “Oh heyyyyyy!” Hayley likes anything free. She’s part grifter and part bonafide hustler. “Let’s have some fun, shall we?”

  I turn to Cameron and he winks at me. “I say that’s a splendid idea.” He raises his glass.

  Two

  “Oh my God!” Hayley looks like she’s about to have an orgasm as she eats a French fry. “This is so good!”

  “I told you, ma.” Que nodded as he chews a fry. “I wouldn’t lie about this place.”

  We all left the club early and headed to a late-night diner for some grub. We all ordered burgers while Cameron just sipped water. Usually a woman is on the ‘I don’t want to eat too much’ and only orders a water diet so it’s weird to see a man embody that.

  “So, what are y’all gon’ do after we’re done here?” Hayley asks before she takes a bite of her burger.
>
  “Probably go home and kick it,” Que looks over at Hayley. “Want to join?”

  “I wish I could, but I left with my girl and I’m going home with her.” Hayley nodded. “But I can see you after we drop her off.”

  “Okay, fuck you.” I roll my eyes and Cameron quietly chuckles.

  “I said I was going to drop you off, damn!” Hayley shrugs. I can’t be mad at a ho doing what a ho does.

  “I’ll make sure you’re safe when you get home.” Cameron finally spoke. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  His velvety voice soothed me, but I know this is how all of those bad indie romance flicks start. “I may look like a fool, but I’m not one.”

  Cameron’s lips curved into a sensual smile and a flicker of something happens between us. Cameron was the only white boy in the crew and he stood out like a sore thumb. A white dot in a sea of chocolate.

  Yet, somehow he ran with the crew like it was second nature to him. He didn’t try to speak with a blaccent or act like he was from Chosewood Park or any other predominantly black neighborhood in ATL.

  He was quiet enough, yet he wasn’t brooding. He wasn’t moody. He was just a sponge. He soaked up the atmosphere, the conversation, and added a bit or two where needed.

  While his friends were the lives of the party, Cameron kept it cool. He never drew attention to himself nor was he about showing off and showing out. And honestly, his quiet strength is what drew me to him.

  “I’ll be on my best behavior, baby girl. I wouldn’t let any one or thing harm you.” He repeats with more assertion. He paused and looked like he wanted to say more but left me hanging. It would be something he’ll do for as long as I’ll know him.

  It’ll be something that will quickly get old no matter how much he does it.

  ~~~~~~~

  I know Cameron has money based on his car. He’s driving what I like the call ‘I’m a baller and you know it’ car – a BMW. This isn’t a typical BMW. Everything inside the interior is custom-made.