by Ryan Michele
Katie and I smiled. Our little one loved her food.
“I’ll get started, but no more of that, Katie.”
My sister nodded as I turned to the kitchen.
This was our family. The three of us making a go out of life away from where we were. Each trying to build a good life. So far we’d managed well.
Happiness was all I wanted, and we'd found our small slice here. In a small town in Georgia.
3
Micah
Pulling up to my parents' home, the motorcycles following us spread out across the lawn. As my dad parked, I listened to the signature sound of each one giving one last twist of the throttle for a solid rev to the engine before being shut down. The steady tick of a motorcycle engine wasn’t something I focused on.
Until my first deployment, it wasn’t something I even thought about. The sandbox, as we Marines called it, was a special kind of hell. Waiting for battle was a mind fuck like no other.
To sleep, I wouldn’t count sheep; instead, I would let my mind replay the sound of my dad’s Harley over and over. In time, the sounds from the recesses of my memories comforted me, calmed me, and finally sleep overcame me.
Having Ravage here and each of them parking their rides, it calmed me too. No matter what the future held, I would endure like the steady tick of those engines.
The clubhouse looked exactly the same as when I left, and it brought back a bit of nostalgia. I’d wrapped myself up in so much of the negativity that the positive things, such as being home, were swept aside. Seeing it now filled me with a comfort I’d forgotten for way too long.
Swinging on the tire swing and dangling from the large oak tree was one of my favorite things to do. Getting as high as possible was the only way to go. Then jumping off and practically breaking my foot. Okay, that part wasn’t positive, but since I had no broken bones it was all good. Crutches weren’t so bad, I had learned, especially with Emery offering to help me any way she could. That constant support and encouragement from her was something I took for granted much like everything else in my childhood.
The large porch had a swing that my mom and I would sit at and watch the cars pass. Those were two of the few times I hung outside without my nose behind a screen. Video games was where I got lost most of the time. Now thinking about it, there was so much time wasted in front of a television instead of being active in life. Instead of seeing what else existed, I closed my mind to anything outside of my views … my very skewed, angry views.
Tons of emotions hit me one after the other in rapid succession. The onslaught gripped me tighter than I ever could have imaged. I thought I had made peace inside of myself. Yet, the guilt was eating at me. Yes, it was time to face Ravage and their wrath.
Redemption road was definitely bumpy and full of loose gravel, but I didn’t plan to come out of it with road rash. Nope, no matter what I had to do, I was ready to find the end of this highway of my own personal hell and right every wrong I had done.
The SUV turned off, and my father turned around in the seat. “Glad to have you home, son.”
“Good to be home, sir.”
My father chuckled. “Sir. I like that shit.”
A small smirk played at my lips. “Yeah, it’s a hard habit to break.”
“Don’t need to. Come on.” My father exited the car, my mother and I following, grabbing my bag in the trunk. My dad was relaxed. We were truly a family in a way I had never experienced before. Finally giving my father the respect he deserved had changed so much between us. I liked where we were headed.
I sucked in the crisp Georgia air.
Yeah, this was home. For the first time in my life, it actually felt like the place I was always meant to be.
“Come,” my mother called, motioning me into the house, and I followed. Chaos ensued inside the kitchen as everyone was bustling all around, grabbing this and that and taking it all outside where there were tables and chairs set up.
After throwing my seabag in my room, I went to the kitchen where my mother was carrying two huge bowls, one pretzels and the other potato salad. Snatching them away from her, she smiled up at me. “Thank you.” She beamed as I moved out the door and set the things on the table where everything else seemed to be.
“You don’t need to be doing that,” my mother said on my second trip into the house.
“Ma, I got this. You tell me what you need, and I’ll do it.”
While she smiled, there was a tenseness that came over the room, and when I turned around, I figured out why. Princess had entered the space.
She was one woman no one messed with. I’d seen her in the ring many times fighting, and she knocked men twice her size out. After all these years, it didn’t seem to change because her tank showed off her muscular arms.
Princess loved her family. Loved the club. Loved everything the Ravage MC stood for. She was in a thousand percent and gave her all to protect every bit of it. That was why I knew she had a lot to say to me.
I’d give her that. After all, the bomb I dropped impacted her just as much as the brothers in the club.
“Princess,” my mom warned, but Princess didn’t even look at her, only having eyes locked to me.
“It’s all good, Mom. Let her do what she’s gotta do.”
Mom shook her head. I knew she wanted to shield me from the confrontation. But she had to know there was nothing she could do. I wasn’t a little boy anymore. My mom didn’t need to shield me from shit. This moment with Princess would happen, and keeping her away from it seemed to be a bit of challenge.
“Stop,” my mom warned as she stood in my path. It was actually cute that she was trying to protect me.
Reaching my arm out, I snagged my mom around her waist and pulled her behind me. She grumbled the entire time, but I didn’t give a fuck. If fists were going to fly, she needed to be far away from it. My mom was my world, and I wouldn’t let anyone get near her.
I stared down at Princess, waiting for whatever she had to say. She stared at me, vivid disgust shining in her eyes. I earned that. Every single rotten ounce of it, I deserved. I fucked with her family. It was wrong. I was wrong. So as long as she needed to stare at me, beat on me, cuss me out, I would take it.
She said nothing as we continued to stare at each other. When the right hook came at me, I could’ve easily dodged it; instead, I let it connect to my face. While it didn’t feel good, it also didn’t hurt … much. My mother screamed.
Wetness fell from my mouth, but my eyes stayed glued on Princess, not reaching up to wipe the blood off.
Princess shook out her hand which surprised me. “Damn, boy, you been eating your Wheaties or somethin’?”
That was something new and surprising. I held my mother behind me.
“Somethin’ like that,” I responded.
“Good, maybe it knocked some sense into your ass,” she clipped.
“Marines did that, not the cereal.”
The left side of Princess’ lip tipped, surprising the shit out of me once again. “We’ll see,” she replied, turning on her motorcycle booted foot and moving outside.
My mother came around to my front and started fussing over my lip.
“Stop.” The tone came out a bit sharper than it should’ve. Part of me was still out in the field with my Marines, and changing back over to civilian life may just take some getting used to. Her eyes widened. “Sorry. No excuse for that, Mom.”
She gave me a soft smile that tore at my heart. I loved this woman, and she’d put up with a lot of shit from me. I really needed to get myself in check and make sure that didn’t happen again.
“It’s okay.” I started to say it was not okay, but she put her finger to my lips. “Remember, I talked to the counselor. She told me that was to be expected. It’s okay.”
My head shook. “No. It’s not okay. You’re my mother, and I will do everything in my power never to talk to you that way again.”
She reached up and placed a kiss on my cheek. “I have your back, Micah. We will
get through this.” She reached over and handed me a platter. “Now take this outside, and let’s eat.” I held the door for her, and we did just that.
My mother fawned over me and started rushing around to get me things. She handed me a red solo cup, which I took, and I leaned into her ear, whispering, “Love you, Mom. But I can get it myself.”
She pulled back, a tear in her eye. “Nonsense. You haven’t been home in years, and who knows what happened over in that sand pit. You’ll let me do this for you. Understand?”
A smile came to my lips. “Yeah, Ma. I got it.” She needed this. Something simple. While I didn’t like her working so hard around me when I was perfectly capable of handling getting my own food, I gave it to her and kept my mouth shut except to tell her ‘thank you.’ Knowing she had worried with every deployment and didn’t get to see me directly upon my return, having me right in front of her was important. She wanted to take care of me, I got it.
I’d return the favor soon. There was no doubt in my mind that with my mother there was a lot to fix. Not as much as my father, but it was still there, and I would show her how much she meant to me no matter what it took.
The brothers, for the most part, kept their distance which was understandable. I had no qualms with it. That was their play to have.
“So you done being a douche?” Austyn asked, coming to sit by me at the picnic table. A small grin lifted my lips. She, much like her mother, had never been one to hold back.
“Can’t say you won’t think of me like that again, but for the most part—yep.”
She shoulder checked me, but I didn’t move. “So some time in the sand pulled your head out of your ass, huh?”
Lifting the solo cup, I took a swallow. “Growing up did that. The sand was my job.”
“I’m pissed you didn’t tell me about my brother sooner,” she tossed out. I knew someone would bring it up at some point; I just didn’t expect it to come from Austyn first.
My grin died. “Look. I know everyone wants to know the story. Everyone has questions. Everyone wants to kick my ass. I get that. Understand that. Know this is no disrespect, but I’m talkin’ to the club first about the details.” Her face turned, and I knew she was going to let loose on me, so I kept going. “Know this, Austyn. I’m not the same man anymore. I did wrong. I have to atone for it. More than that I have to answer for it. I will. There is nothing I can say that will ever take back how I handled the situation. I have to live with that, the same way I have to live with the brothers in arms I watched die literally inches from me. What I can tell you, when I first stumbled upon the information, I didn’t believe it. I thought I was being set up. By the time I sorted out the facts, things were already out of hand for me. I needed a change. So I did what I had to do for myself, but I didn’t want to leave this information to be shared by a stranger or worse—an enemy. I felt like the only way to bring it to the table was through a brother, that brother being my dad. Did I handle it all wrong? Absolutely, but what is done is done.”
Her face changed just a bit, and if I were to blink, I probably would have missed it. The shock. She allowed it to register, albeit briefly, but it was there.
“Really?” she asked puzzled. “You understand the value and meaning behind brotherhood?”
“Yeah. Believe me or don’t. It’s the truth. As for the details behind it all, I’m talkin’ to the club first. Then, you can come at me with whatever you have.”
“I could just punch you in the nuts. Force you to talk,” she threatened with a look in her eyes that made me know she was serious.
“You could,” I relaxed my shoulders, before I continued, “but you won’t.”
A light shone in her eye, and she got me. Respect was something I lost all those years ago and needed to gain back. The Ravage MC was the focal point in both of our lives since we had been born. The difference between Austyn and I was that she fully understood it. She embraced everything Ravage. While my child brain didn’t.
Now. I got it.
“You’re lucky.”
She had no idea how lucky I really was. Hopefully she’d never find out.
4
Ensley
Sickness. It was all around me. Every breath. Every touch. Every surface. Every cough… Everywhere. One not so great perks of my job.
Wearing a mask and vinyl gloves were a must at all times. I didn’t even keep a water bottle at my desk knowing the coughs and sneezes would infect it immediately. When I left every night, I’d scrub myself here in the nurses’ station then take a shower as soon as I walked in the door.
It wasn’t that I was a germaphobe. It was more like a I don’t want my kid to get sick thing. No one came into the hospital because they felt great and were ready to run a triathlon. Being in this place was the most contagious, infectious area of the city, but it was my job, and for the most part, I liked it.
Smiling up at the man in front of me, not that he could tell because of my mask, he proceeded to sneeze repeatedly. My eyes closed with each one, just picturing all the sickness being thrown my way. With practice, I had learned to fight the instinct I had to press back in my chair and get away from the people. They couldn’t give me the proper information to check them in if I couldn’t manage to stay in front of them.
Thank God, he had tissues to control the spreading; not that he caught all of them. The particles in the air wreaked havoc on my mind.
It all made me want to reach for my hand sanitizer, but it wouldn’t do much considering my hands were covered with gloves. At least the janitorial staff stayed on top of their rounds, cleaning and disinfecting.
“Go on over to the waiting area, and you’ll be called when it’s your turn.”
He nodded, his eyes puffy and watering, but he slowly staggered on his heels toward the lobby and took a seat. The place was busy, but it always seemed to be at night. It was usually when people started to let loose a bit and ended up with stupid shit happening.
There was some wicked shit that happened in the ER. Of course, there were the normal sicknesses, occasional stabbings or shootings, but the ones that stuck out to me were the ‘how in the hell did that happen.’
For example, the man who stuck a screwdriver up his dick. It wasn’t a large one, but a smaller one like someone used on their glasses, that got lodged inside. Why he did this was beyond me, and it took surgery to remove. I couldn’t imagine as a man having to come to the emergency department with a tool stuck in my junk. Of course, there were the bizarre things that I swore were a figment of someone’s imagination, until I faced it at work. Like the gerbil incident. That one still makes me cringe. A damn rodent stuck in my asshole. Umm … no thank you. Who the hell in their right mind would even try that?
People seemed to do the strangest things sometimes, and personally I was just happy that my job was at the intake and not in the surgery room having to do extractions. That was putting it nicely.
The night moved fast as usual. It was what I liked about the late shift in the ER. There wasn’t much downtime, so the night began and ended quickly. I didn’t hate my job by any means. I was grateful for it. It gave Remy and I stability and health insurance. Two huge things that were a necessity for us.
Therefore, here was where I worked.
The doors swung open, and my lips tried to form words, but instead, my eyes widened as I sucked in a deep breath.
“Austyn. What happened?” Austyn, a friend of mine, had a woman she was practically carrying in as she was unable to walk much. The woman had long blonde hair and was beat to shit. Black and blue marks covered so many different parts of her body, and blood came from her mouth and nose. Swelling had already begun. Every move seemed to be agonizing for the woman.
“She works at X. Asshole at the club beat her up,” Austyn explained in a rush.
“Is my cousin here with you?” I asked out of habit.
Her head shook as she beamed, talking about her man. “No, Ryker’s not. He’s on a run for the club. My mom’s park
ing the SUV. She’ll be in here in a sec to handle the paperwork and cover the bill.”
“Let me see what I can do to get her back asap. Sit her in that wheelchair there.” I pointed quickly while gathering the materials necessary to get her checked in. The poor woman groaned as Austyn slowly lowered her to the chair. Surprisingly, she hadn’t passed out yet.
I had seen that once before. A man had an accident with a chainsaw. He managed to make it to my desk before twisting the wrong way and releasing the grip on the towel to get the pen from me and sign the intake paperwork. As the blood-soaked fabric fell, so did his hand that had been held in place after being severed in his accident. The pain hit, he let out a wail, and promptly passed out. I didn’t make it around the desk in time to catch him before he hit the floor with a thud. Needless to say, they rushed him back to the emergency room, and in the end he was lucky they were able to save the hand. I waited with bated breath, wondering if this woman would fall out in front of me. It was obvious she had internal injuries and was in complete agony.
Lifting the receiver, I dialed the on-call nurse in the back and spoke quietly. “Have a woman up here who’s been beaten badly. She’s a friend. Can you get her back?”
“Sure thing. Give me two ticks,” she responded, hanging up the phone.
“She’s coming, but I need all of her information.”
“I’ve got it.” Princess, Austyn’s mom, held up a manila folder as she entered the waiting area. She was a sight, that was for sure. Long black hair with bright red streaks, leather pants and jacket. Austyn told me she never knew her mom not looking exactly like this. Not only that, Princess was a tough cookie. I remember when Ryker first introduced me, I wanted to hide. Intimidation and complete awe encompassed me. I was out of my element being away from home, and here was this powerhouse of a woman. She was so strong, so confident, and completely blunt.
Just then the nurse swung the door open, and I pointed to the blonde woman. She nodded before she leaned down and said some words, then wheeled her into the back.