by Ryan Michele
My instincts were screaming for me to go after her. Only I knew I was outnumbered, and this wasn’t the time. So I relented and relaxed.
“You can let go now.”
Reluctantly, Cooper released me only to come and stand beside Deke. Yeah, plowing through all of these guys wouldn’t be an easy task, but if I had to, there were ways. I just needed to see her. To make sure it was her. Yes, her hair was red now, but it was those green eyes, the ones I could never get out of my head, that came to me in my dreams, that beckoned me. Eyes that I’d missed over the years.
“That girl who just left. Cyrus. How do you know her?” I asked the men, wanting to understand this big brother protection act.
The guys had these looks on their faces, partially puzzled, partially curious. If this weren’t an intense as fuck moment, I would’ve laughed at it. “Who the fuck is Cyrus?” Deke asked, but something told me he knew exactly who I was talking about. His eyes were cold, but the way he asked gave it away that he knew who she was.
“The woman who just ran out of here. The one Austyn chased, and the reason y’all are standing here blocking my view,” I countered, knowing that she’d be long gone before this interrogation concluded. My mind started racing with all the computer programs I had to try to find her.
“How the fuck do you know her?” Nox asked, staring me down in a way that let me know he wanted to put a bullet in my head. Which was always a possibility at this point. Eyes in the back of my head was the motto I was rolling with for the foreseeable future. Good thing I had a shit ton of practice at it.
What I didn’t like was that all of these men knew who Cyrus was and were giving me shit.
“Seriously, why was she here?” I tried again.
Green answered, “Friend of the club. Now how do you know her?”
Well, he didn’t deny she was Cyrus. Although he didn’t confirm it either, but I could tell there was a fuck of a lot more going on right now. All of it leaving me with the burning need to know why she was here. A friend of the club? How was that possible? Was she one of the mommas? No, she couldn’t be… Fuck me. Yeah, she could. Maybe she was someone’s ol’ lady. Wouldn’t that kill. What did I really know about her besides she was good in bed? Nothing really.
But I’d felt it that night. That instant connection that I could never shake, even two and a half years later, and now she was here. My hometown wasn’t big, and yet she landed right here in my world. The clubhouse wasn’t a place where women just came to hang out. They always had a reason to be here.
My thoughts ran away with me on what Cyrus’ reason was. No fucking thank you.
“We met when I was on leave about two and a half or three years ago. Haven’t heard from her or seen her since.” Hell, never thought I’d see her again either. Let alone here with all the men of the club. Yeah, didn’t like that shit one bit.
The men in front of me didn’t say anything, like they were waiting for more, but I didn’t have more. We fucked one night, and that was it. Only that one night had stayed with me, and nothing had satisfied me since, but fuck if I was going to tell them that shit.
“You say two and a half years ago, huh?” Nox asked, something working behind his eyes. Something I couldn’t get a read on even though I tried.
“Yeah, why?”
There was something off here. Not just that Cyrus was here, but something to do with the time frame as well. I studied their reactions.
“No reason,” he answered too quickly. Looking at the men around us, their stoic faces weren’t giving them away; it was their eyes. Eyes were the windows to the soul. Some could hide it, like Rhys for example. Green and Nox not so much, which was surprising. Especially Nox. One would think he’d get that from his father. Or hell, his mother for that matter. Or maybe he wasn’t hiding it for a reason. Like he wanted me to know something but couldn’t tell me.
“What’s going on here? What are you not telling me?” The tension, already thick, got even worse at my words. I’d need a damn machette to cut through it, but I stood my ground.
“We don’t gotta tell you shit,” Deke growled low, which I was sure scared the little panties off of men, but I’d been through worse. So much worse, but I didn’t egg him on either. Being a dick and fighting with them wasn’t going to get me anywhere, but I needed some information here. Time to change tactics.
“True. Just wanna know how she is. Why she ran away from me in a panic.”
“That shit, she’ll tell ya, if she wants to.” Cooper added, and I knew I was getting nothing from them. They weren’t going to tell me a single thing about Cyrus. While it pissed me off, part of me understood as well.
There had to be a reason for this reaction from the brothers. It was now my job to figure out how to get in touch with her.
“You wanna tell me how to reach her?” I tried, knowing the answer.
“Nope,” Nox answered for all of them.
Before I could form another thought, we were interrupted. “Hey, pussy, stop the girl talk. There’s a cleanup in aisle five. Also known as the woman’s bathroom. Puke,” Princess said, coming up to us without even asking about the ruckus.
The men in front of me started chuckling. Puke. Great. Such was my life for a while.
Truth be told, this shit didn’t matter. Earning their respect back did.
I shrugged my shoulders, then looked at each of the men. “I’ll be asking again,” I said, turning on my boot and tamping down my frustration as I headed to the bathroom.
Yeah. I would be asking a lot of questions about Cyrus. That was for sure.
13
Ensley
“You sure you’re alright?” Benji, a co-worker who was in charge of labs, asked. I saw Benji all the time, and therefore he knew me far too well. Hell, anyone who saw me today would know something was up. There was no way to hide the thoughts blackening my life. No amount of makeup would hide the fear of what could happen with Micah. It was weighing me down like a chain around my leg. The more I pulled it to me, the more it clashed and clanged, drawing attention to me.
Silly me, I thought my days of this kind of stress, worry, and uncertainty were over. Oh how wrong I was.
Add that in with the lack of sleep, my body felt the fatigue wearing me into the ground. I didn’t sleep after Ryker and Austyn left my apartment last night. I couldn’t.
No matter what I did, there was no escaping all the racing thoughts going through my brain. The what-ifs. The plans that I could make to keep Remy and I safe. Everything just kept coming from all different angles, threatening to make me collapse.
Remy loved the members of the Ravage MC, and taking her away from that would break her heart. But what else was I supposed to do? No way in hell Micah would take my baby. No way in hell I’d allow that.
What if the Ravage MC sided with Micah, though? Remy was Micah’s daughter, Tug’s grandkid. Blood. What was to say the MC wouldn’t rally around Micah to get Remy away from me? I knew Ryker said it wouldn’t happen, but Micah was Tug’s son. He had more ties to the club than I had as Ryker’s cousin.
Yes, some of the thoughts, now that I looked back on it, were a bit irrational. Most of them were in panic mode.
There were just so many possibilities on how this could and couldn’t work out.
In this moment, I had zero answers, and today I wore that fear on my aura. Apparently, everyone could read it.
“Yeah,” I lied, which I hated doing, but I had to. While we were good colleagues, we weren’t on a know everything about me level.
I kept everything quiet. It was imperative to my family’s survival. Therefore, no one knew my business except a very select few, none of whom I worked with.
Benji tried more than once to get me to open up to him. After a year of keeping myself closed up tight, he finally backed off. I wasn’t stupid. I might not have known a lot about men, but I knew Benji liked me and wanted to ask me out.
Every sign I gave him, though, was a no go, and I had to admit whe
n he got that message, I was elated. The come-ons were becoming way too in my face. I didn’t like it, but I was happy we were now on good terms. The last thing I needed was for him to get the wrong idea and think this was his long awaited shot. I wasn’t in the market for a man in my life, and even if I was Benji wasn’t my type.
“You need anything, anything at all, you let me know.” Benji knocked on the desk twice then went back to the lab room.
Relief filled me. It wasn’t a nice thing to feel, but I didn’t have the energy to deal with Benji or anyone at this point.
The night dragged on with patient after patient getting checked in for this or that. It was a revolving door of sickness. While I was tired, the hustle and bustle of the night left me no room to doze off. Which was good. Nothing an employer liked more than catching someone they were paying to be sleeping on the job. I needed this job, and no matter what I wouldn’t fuck it up. Keeping busy made the time tick by quickly.
The excitement of the night, if one could call it that, was a GSW, gunshot wound, to a seventeen-year-old kid. The cops were going in and out of the space, and every time I turned around there was another one.
I had nothing to hide from the cops, but I in no way had the energy to entertain a single one of them.
My life might have been a clusterfuck at the moment, but it would work itself out. I didn’t know how, but it had to. Failure wasn’t an option. No matter what I had to do, I’d make sure Remy was safe. She was my main priority, had been since I’d found out I was pregnant, and she would be until I took my last breath on this earth.
Clocking out didn’t come fast enough, but I jumped at the chance to be one of the first ones out. Normally, I’d wait until the next person after me was settled before taking off, just in case they had any questions or needed me. Not tonight. Tonight, I was out of there.
Katie had to work, but I needed to talk to her beforehand. Therefore, I drove with a purpose, watching the clock. Luckily her car was still in the lot as I got out of my car and ran up the stairs to our apartment.
Opening the door, she smiled up at me. Her smile died instantly when she saw my face. Katie wasn’t home yesterday except for the brief moment in passing when I had to go to work, and she had no idea what was happening. Yet, here I was crumbling and trying with everything inside of me to stand upright.
“Remy’s dad is part of the Ravage MC,” I blurted out in a rush, then looked around the space to make sure Remy wasn’t up. That should’ve been first, but dammit I needed my sister. She was my rock, and I needed that now more than ever.
A thump hit the kitchen counter as her coffee cup came down. The clatter was so loud it would be surprising if the mug hadn’t broken.
“What?” She came around the corner, grabbed my hands and pulled me to the couch, sitting us down. “Talk to me,” she said as I kicked off my shoes and ripped off my bra. I hated those damn things, and if there was any time to free the boobies, this would be it.
“Is Remy asleep?” I asked first.
“Yeah. You’ll have a couple of hours to get some rest before she gets up.”
“Hopefully,” I said on a sigh and then began to tell her the tale of my life over the past day. It just spewed from me, needing to get it out of my system. Katie would get me. She always did.
Starting at the first moment I saw Micah at the clubhouse to when I stepped in the door from work. I broke it all down for Katie. We’d been through everything together. She’d know what to do. Or at least both of our heads could come up with a solution.
Hope. That was what I had in Katie. The hope that she’d be able to solve this problem and lead me down the right path.
Tears ran down my face as Katie pulled me into her arms, hugging me close. “I just don’t know what to do, Katie. I’m dying inside, and I don’t know how to fix this.”
“Calm down. I need you to take some deep breaths for me.” I followed her instructions, hiccuping the entire way. Once I had myself together, she pulled away from me and stared into my eyes. “Did he say anything?”
My body trembled. Was the heat on in this place? Because I was burning up from the inside out. “I didn’t give him a chance. I ran out before he got two steps in my direction.”
Panic swirled around my heart once again. I had no control over it. The feeling just hit whenever it damn well wanted. To say I didn’t like it was an understatement. I’d prided myself with being in control. This was not in control. It was so far out of control dread was pulling me under.
“Okay. What did Ryker say to do?” Katie went the logical route which I appreciated. I went that way lying in bed last night too, and I wanted to believe he’d handle it. But I also knew I’d have to be the one to fix it.
“Just to let him work some things out,” I responded on a heavy sigh.
“What things?” she asked with a quirk of her brow.
Frustration came out in my tone. “I have no idea. But Ryker hasn’t let us down, and I trust him fully.” Which I did. He was there for us when we needed someone. While I might have been all over the damn place with my thoughts and feelings, I had to admit that Ryker wouldn’t do anything to hurt us. Ever.
“I do too.”
Katie’s tongue clicked as she asked, “Are you going to talk to Micah—is it?”
My head shook, then nodded. Even my head motions were getting confused in this mess. “I don’t know. I mean, yeah, eventually. I wouldn’t want to keep him from his kid, but I don’t know. Do you think he’ll try to take Remy from me?”
Katie went on alert. “No freaking way. I’ll gut him if he even tries.”
This made me smile. I needed that small bit of Katie to help me. She was my strength when I was weak, and she knew exactly what to say. “We’ll both cut him.”
To that she chuckled. “So he’s back from the Marines and is related to the Ravage MC. How in the hell could that happen? The one place we find safe haven, then years later the baby daddy just appears like poof?”
The exhaustion smacked me hard after laying it all out for Katie. “My luck isn’t the greatest, but even I couldn’t have been prepared for this one.”
Katie reached over and put her hand on my knee, giving it a squeeze. “It’ll work out. If Ryker says he’s going to handle it, he will. We just gotta wait and see what he says to do next.”
Something else had been weighing on my mind. “You don’t think he’d come here?”
Katie’s head turned my way. “Well, if he doesn’t know about Remy, then there’s no reason for him to come here. Even if he knows where you live. But Ryker would’ve told you if Micah did. So you need to put that aside, breathe in deep, and go get the three hours of sleep before Remy gets up.”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.” Even though I was dog tired, sleep would probably evade me again.
Katie slapped my knee. “You need to, or you’re going to crash again while Remy’s awake, and she’ll draw on the walls. I’m not painting the walls again.”
A chuckle escaped me. She always had that way with her. Katie was right. “I’ll try.”
Katie got up from the couch, and I followed as she wrapped me tight in her arms. “Love you,” she said in my ear.
“Love you too.”
Moments later, Katie was gone, and I fell face-first into the bed, passing out instantly.
14
Ryker
Son of a motherfucking bitch. My baby cousin was Micah’s kid. Fucking Micah.
The asshole was coming damn close to getting a bullet between his eyes. He may have come clean, but fuck me—if he weren’t Tug’s kid, he wouldn’t be breathing.
So not only did we have to deal with the bullshit he’d told us, but we had to deal with this too.
The club knew all about Remy and how she came into our world. I’d never forget it.
Fists pounding on the door, I called out, “It’s Ryker.”
It took a few beats, and I hoped it was Cyrus checking the damn peephole before openi
ng the door. There was always a way to get through the barrier if someone wanted to bad enough.
Seconds later, the locks clicked, knob turned, and the door slowly opened.
Small. That was the first thing that flickered through my head. She couldn’t be more than five-three if that. Her big green eyes showed her fear. Actually, it was radiating off of her.
“How ya doin’?” I felt myself going soft, talking to her like a child instead of in my usual hard tone. Something in me thought she needed a little bit of tenderness. It was a new thing for me.
“Ryker. Thank you.” Tears welled in her eyes.
Not thinking better of it, I pulled her into my arms and wrapped her up tight as she burst into tears. The scratchy material of her dress reminded me of my mother. It was always the same look for their clothes. All large and baggy, covering them from neck to ankle. Even when it was hot as all hell, they wore those things like armor.
I hated them. Hated the whole damn religion.
Jeremiah, Cyrus’ father, was very high up on the food chain, having a shit ton of wives and who knew how many fucking kids. Way too many was for sure.
Didn’t care for him, didn’t care for many of them. But the one who called me out of the blue in the middle of the night to cry in my arms, her I gave a shit about.
An older girl, Sibyl, stood with her back against the wall next to the bathroom. She looked scared to fucking death.
“It’s alright. I’ll get ya out of here.”
“Would you let me in?” Austyn called from behind me, making Cyrus tense in my arms.
“This is my wife, Austyn. She’s cool. Promise.”
Cyrus pulled out of my arms and looked at Austyn.