by Ryan Michele
“Hey, hun. Let’s get you cleaned up,” Austyn said, guiding Cyrus over to the small bathroom and cleaning up her face.
Lord.
“Hey, Sybil. Promise everything is going to be okay.”
“He’ll come for us,” she whispered softly. “He won’t just let us leave. He said so. We have his name and that is all he cares about. He’ll find us.”
“Fuck no he won’t,” I growled low, causing her to jump. “Sorry. We’ll get you out of here and get you set up.”
And we did. New identities, different colored hair, and better lives. All of it. The club stood behind me during this change, helping in every way possible. Furniture for their apartment. Clothes for their backs. Food for their bellies. Prenatal care for Remy and Ensley. Don’t even get me fucking started on the baby shower. That kid didn’t need diapers for a year. The ol’ ladies did it up big for them.
The three of them had been through so much in their lives. They really didn’t need any more. But this was now thrown down at their feet like a scorpion ready to strike.
No matter what, Micah wasn’t hurting Ensley or Remy. He’d be dead before he could blink, and I’d fucking enjoy it.
“Come to order,” Cruz called from the front of the table, getting all of our attention.
Church had to be expanded with all the new members coming in. When it was just Cruz, GT, Rhys, Buzz and Breaker, they didn’t need much space. Now we had an entire other generation that needed to be included.
We kept the area where church was held in the clubhouse. It was right off the bar area.
Needing it bigger, we took out the three bedrooms that were on the other side of the wall from the church room. Instant space.
Sure, it was shaped like a letter L, but who the fuck cared. There were more pictures on the walls. The Ravage insignia was moved to the large straight area and hung on the wall right behind where our President sat.
Since the table was custom made, we didn’t touch that shit. The carvings were absolutely stunning with the Ravage skulls with flames coming from its head in the center. We just added on to it, creating a long enough space for us all to sit around.
The American flag flew in the corner along with the Marines and Army flags as well. We had veterans and were proud of that.
As the room came to order, I looked over at Tug, worrying how he would take this information. Finding out he had a grandkid out of the damn blue, that he’d actually spent time with, would be a blow. It would tear him up inside, knowing his blood was right in front of his face, and he didn’t recognize it.
It seemed crazy to think that way, but I understood completely. We are all a family here. Blood was on a different level, especially for babies.
Even though it would cut him deep, and I didn’t enjoy having to tell Tug, he’d pull through. He was a strong man and carried a lot on his shoulders over the years. Blaze, on the other hand… Glad he would deal with that shit. She would go ballistic. No fucking thank you.
We went through runs, product, businesses, and Micah, which was my cue.
“I’ve got somethin’,” I called, holding my index and middle finger up in a half wave. This wasn’t something I wanted to spring on my brothers, but they needed to know. What Ensley did was on her, but my brothers would know this information. There were no secrets such as this between the Ravage MC.
We didn’t hold shit like this back from one another. Everything with the club could mean life or death. We worked as a team, and everyone needed to be informed. If they weren’t, they couldn’t protect each other. As much as I hated laying this at all their feet, I wasn’t about to start keeping shit from them.
Cruz looked at me. “Yeah.”
“A situation came to light.” My eyes went over to Tug. He had the most to gain and lose from this. “It’s about Micah too.”
Tug’s back straightened, and his eyes got this protective glaze over them. He loved his boy, that was clear, but he was also getting damn tired of all the shit floating around him. He’d had to clean up one thing after another with that boy. I felt for him. Micah had a shit storm that he didn’t even know what was going to hit him because I knew Ensley would tell him. It may take a bit, but she would.
“Let’s hear it,” Tug said, his complete and utter focus on me. He was my brother, but I couldn’t help but think that Tug might actually blow, and we’d come to a head.
We loved each other, don’t get me wrong. That didn’t mean we didn’t fight. Just like any other family, we had our differences. But the kicker was, we got over them and fast.
Cruz ran a tight ship and made very sure of that fact.
Sucking in a deep breath, I spoke directly to Tug.
“Shit’s complicated. It’s about Ensley. Apparently, Micah and Ensley hooked up about three years ago when he was on leave. That’s how she knows Micah.”
Tug leaned back in his chair like I’d hit him with a concrete bolder as he started piecing everything together. He was a damn smart man, and I knew the instant he came to the correct conclusion because his breathing picked up a bit like he couldn’t get enough air.
I threw down the hammer. “And from that came Remy.”
“You’re fucking shittin’ me,” Tug growled, hands low on the table as he slammed them down to the wood. A few of the brothers sat back. “He has a kid and didn’t tell me.” If fire could’ve come from his eyes it would’ve. There was no doubt that Tug would have Micah’s ass for not telling his parents about his child. Except this time, I couldn’t let Tug think it. Right was right, and wrong was wrong. The kind of man I was didn’t let another man take a hit for something he really had not one clue about.
“He doesn’t know.” Tug heard the words, but he was stunned. So I continued, “They were together one night. She got knocked up and never saw him again until after the party. She didn’t know his last name or even a damn phone number. Not knowing him, his connection to the club, well, Ensley panicked. She’s afraid that Micah is here to take Remy.”
Tug’s head shook, hands clenched in fists so tight his knuckles were white. “He’d never…” He started, but I held my hand up. There was no need for Tug to defend his boy on this one. While I wasn’t anywhere close to a fan of Micah, he didn’t strike me as one to try to take Remy. I had lived and learned enough in my time with Ravage to get a read on people. Micah fucked up, sure, but he wasn’t a prick that would take a kid from her mom without merit. Well, I didn’t get that feel from him, and if he was stupid enough to try, I would end him, so I had no need to worry.
“I told her that, but with her history and the life she left, she’s scared.” Crossing my arms over my chest, it felt good to get that shit out. These men always had my back. I didn’t want to hold anything in from any of them. Tug deserved to know.
“I have a granddaughter?” Tug said through a deep breath, like he couldn’t believe it. Like this was unimaginable to him. His hand raked through his hair, then he looked at the table and closed his eyes. Lord only knew what was going through the man’s head.
“It appears so,” I responded and looked around the table at my brothers. “Gotta have it known so things are clear, but Micah doesn’t know. Ensley, she’s in shock. Not sayin’ she plans to keep this shit in, but for me, it’s her play, and she ain’t ready to make it yet,” I explained, keeping my eyes locked on Tug’s. I knew I was putting him in a hard place. But Ensley was family and had a level of respect for the club we hadn’t yet confirmed Micah was capable of. To me, she got the same respect back to tell the man on her terms and not anyone else’s.
Cruz spoke, grabbing all of our attention. “Alright. Let’s make this clear. Micah and Ensley hooked up and made Remy. He doesn’t know, and somehow she landed in our laps. Anyone else find this odd?”
While I didn’t believe in happenstance or coincidence, I knew how Ensley grew up. There was nothing about this situation that was a setup on her end. Micah was clearly in shock to see her again, so I didn’t see how he had a play
in planning this. However, I had been wrong in my past, and while I didn’t feel wrong right now, it didn’t mean there wasn’t something going on I had missed.
Cruz was always thinking from all different angles, trying to line everything up. Knowledge was his thing. It was how he kept everyone safe. I understood his concerns because I questioned them myself. Loved my cousin, but she snuck out and just happened to find Micah. It took me getting to know Ensley to find out she had zero connections to the Ravage MC, only me.
“Brother,” I started. “Know it sounds like shit. But Ensley wouldn’t lie. I believe her. It was just a twist of fate because she didn’t know Micah was even known around here. She about passed out when I told her. And that fear of him taking her girl, I could feel it in my bones. No, she didn’t know one bit. His reaction just seeing her, he had no clue she would be here. Hell, they didn’t even exchange last names, so there was no way for him to track her or her to find him.”
Cruz gave a sharp nod. “We’ll need to check all this shit out. Just make sure everything is straight.” He turned to Cooper, his kid. “Make that happen.” Cooper nodded.
“Wait until Blaze hears this shit,” Tug said, slowly swiping his face with his hands and pulling at his skin. “We’ve watched that little girl. And she’s ours. Our fucking blood.”
As a man, this was the hard shit, telling another man that he had to keep something that impacted his family hard close to the vest. “Yeah, man. Sorry about this shit. I was as surprised as you. You tell Blaze because no man gets to come into another man’s marriage and tell him how to handle his ol’ lady, but I gotta ask that you wait until Ensley tells Micah before this shit blows up all around the clubhouse. Ensley will come around and find her own way to share. There’s a kid involved, and who knows how she or he’ll react. I want to give Ensley time to get there on her own. And while I don’t think any of us in this room are too concerned with Micah’s feelings, for the sake of shit between them, I think this is best if it comes from Ensley.”
“Understandable. But shit needs to come out soon,” Tug warned. “In a good place with my son. He’s a man now, and as a man, that kinda shit doesn’t need to be buried.”
On a nod, I said, “I’ll talk to her.”
“Fuck me,” Tug groaned, and I felt the same damn way. This was a clusterfuck. As if I didn’t already want to kill the bastard, now he’d knocked up my cousin.
His time would come. It appeared this time we had a secret concerning him. The tides sure had changed.
15
Ensley
“The brothers know.”
My stomach dropped to my feet. One single sentence and suddenly the world felt like I was freefalling into a blackhole. While I knew it was coming, part of me hoped I’d be in on the plan. I wanted—no—I needed time. The brothers of the Ravage MC were close. They knew about my past, yet had taken all of us in with open arms. They all deserved the truth. It had to be shocking. I was twisted up inside. The brothers knew.
Tug, though. Shit. He would tell Blaze and Micah. I just knew it. He couldn’t. I wasn't ready. Would Micah be pissed? Would he want us to disappear? This was his family, and I had barged right in, unwelcomed possibly. My palms began to sweat as my stomach rolled, threatening to pull up my dinner.
“Settle,” Ryker said, seeing the look on my face and the tightness in my body.
“What’s going to happen?” The words tumbled out as my voice cracked.
“Nothin’ you don’t fuckin’ want, Ensley, but you gotta talk to him and tell him. Bought you some time to sort your shit. It’ll get to him soon enough, and you should be the one to tell him.”
I fell onto my couch. While I knew what Ryker said was true, I wasn’t sure I could do this. “So that’s that. Remy’s going to have a dad?” Uncertainty kicked me in the gut. I’d been fighting for my little girl since I knew I was pregnant. I’d just started to let my guard down just a bit, and then bam, everything had changed once again. How was I supposed to trust him with my little girl? How was I going to open up our lives to a stranger?
While I knew Tug and Blaze were good people, that didn’t mean they wouldn’t support their son in taking Remy. My heart raced, and I felt as though my lungs were constricted.
“Only if you want that shit to happen. But Tug and Blaze’ll wanna know their grandkid. Can’t tell you what to do, Ensley. Can’t tell you what’s best for your kid. Just know things always have a way of revealing themselves. So best I can tell ya, put it out there and take whatever comes as it comes.”
My thumb started to throb from biting it so far down, and it was sure to start bleeding. I pulled it out of my mouth and wrapped my arms around my body, willing the thumping to slow down. Having a heart attack would only add to the shit storm around me.
Why did it always feel as though I had to fight to make my way through this life? When were things going to get easier? Be calmer. This right here was not that time. Fight was my middle name.
“You know him. Is he going to want to be part of Remy’s life?”
“Know him?” Ryker’s lip tipped. “He’s a shit. Said some things about the club when he was a kid. You’ll hear all about it eventually; I ain’t fuckin’ gossipin’ shit. You get that shit from Austyn or whoever. Micah came back, but I’m not a hundred percent convinced he’s changed yet. But this is for damn certain, Remy goes nowhere without your permission. I’ll make sure that shit is known should he question it.”
The tight bindings around me didn’t loosen, but didn’t tighten either. His words were a comfort, but I was still on edge and would be until I found out Micah’s intentions. Everything around me felt like a deck of cards that had been thrown in the air, and I watched nervously as the cards flittered to the ground. Whichever one popped up would be our future. It was so overwhelming. I had these plans, found this solid place in life for Remy and myself. Fate, karma, life, whatever the greater power was royally fucked me once again.
“Thanks. It was one night, Ryker. One. It was the second time I’d snuck out to meet with Ari. And bam, I’m pregnant. I moved here, and now he’s here. What am I supposed to think about that? That can’t be a coincidence.” I choked back a sob. “How do I know he’s not going to take her from me? How do I know what his intentions are?”
“Don’t know. But shit happens in life, and we roll with it. I believe the both of you had no idea the other was here. He wasn’t stalkin’ ya or anything like that. Austyn called it fate, whatever in the fuck. I agree with you, though. I don’t like the randomness, and I don’t believe in coincidence. I’m lookin’ into shit with him just to make sure.”
The air in my lungs finally started to release. I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t seeing something not there. Ryker felt the same as me. The fact that us being in the exact same place sounded fishy. He could find out more about it than I could, and I needed that reassurance.
But there was something that needed to be done. Regardless of why we were both here and what the future held, I had to face this.
“Do you have a way for me to get ahold of him?” Not that I wanted it, but it was time to pull up my big girl panties and figure this shit out. I wasn’t going to live my life in fear. It put too much stress on me. It made me crazy, and that wasn’t an option. He needed to know and learn where I stood about the whole thing. Then we’d figure it out.
With Ryker and Austyn on my side, I felt a little bit better about it.
Ryker pulled out a slip of paper from the inside of his cut and held it out to me between his two fingers.
It felt like a damn snake ready to bite me in the ass at any given second. One strike and I’d fall to the ground. The weight of my world was in the numbers on this tiny scrap of paper. I could do this. I would do this. Reaching out, I took the paper and opened it to see numbers. The actual line to Remy’s father. Damn, if that wasn’t something I’d never thought would happen. When I first found out I was pregnant, I used to daydream that I could call him, and he would swoop in and take
me out of my nightmare. Who knew the Ravage MC would be my saving grace from that situation and the foundation under my daughter’s life? It all felt surreal.
“Sorry, cuz. But this shit needs to be sorted.”
“Right.”
Ryker kissed the top of my head and was gone.
Hours I spent pondering at that damn piece of paper. Remy tried several times to steal it from me, but luckily, I was quicker. She at least took my mind off of Micah for a little bit. We played Whack-a-Mole, where you hit the moles with a plastic hammer. She loved that game and laughed through it. We had to stop midway through to catch some Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and I may have told her that the Trolls were sleeping tonight. Cut me a break, it was a long day. I didn’t need another round of troll chaos tonight.
It wasn’t until the door closed on our bedroom with Remy fast asleep in her crib, that I pulled out the paper and read the digits as I clasped my phone. My palms were clammy, and I fought to hold the device steady.
Just do it. You can do this.
That was so much easier said than done. The minutes ticked by, and the more they did, the more anxious I became. A single phone call was going to change my entire life. Good or bad, I didn’t know; I only knew the freedom I had found this short time in Sumner, Georgia would change the moment the call connected.
Blowing out a deep breath, I punched in the numbers, my thumb hovering over the green call button. Closing my eyes and wishing on a prayer, I hit the button.
It rang and I almost hung up, scared to death but hoping it wouldn’t come out that way over the phone.
“Low,” the deep voice I remembered all too well said into the phone, bringing back so many memories of that night we’d spent together. That night where he made me feel special. That night when I acted like someone else just to have fun. That night that no matter what I did I could never forget and not just because of Remy.
“Micah.” My damn voice cracked, and I cleared my throat, wanting to sound put together but failing miserably. It was so damn dry like sandpaper scraping me.