RMCB 07_Bound by Consequences

by Ryan Michele

  “Yeah, who’s this?” There was some shifting on the other end, maybe the phone being switched between hands. Nerves crawled like thousands of ants all over my skin. Could I really do this?

  “Ensley.” My thumb went to my mouth again as I started chewing the nail. That damn habit was tough to break, and even as I thought about it, I still continued to chew because the pacing was doing nothing to calm me.

  “Don’t know an Ensley,” he responded frankly.

  My heart sunk. Fuck. No, he didn’t. He didn’t know me by that name. He knew me from my previous life, not the one I’d made for us here in Sumner. Cyrus was who he knew. He had no idea the lengths I’d had to go through to keep Remy safe. He knew nothing… Just my old name.

  How was I supposed to explain this all to him?

  This was so damn jacked up, and I didn’t even know where to start.

  “Hello, you wanna tell me who you are?” he asked since I was apparently taking too long to reply.

  What did I tell him? How did I begin this? Guess it would be my name. A name I’d always hated. A name I was happy to get rid of. One I hated even thinking about, let alone to actually say out loud.

  I sucked in a deep breath, taking my hand away from my mouth as I spoke. “You know me as Cyrus.” The words were so quiet I didn’t think he heard me, but apparently, he did because he responded immediately, making me jump just a touch. It was wishful thinking that he hadn’t heard me, I guess.

  “I swore that was you at the clubhouse. I called out, wanted to talk to you. Why did you run away from me?” He sounded a little mad and a lot concerned. Or at least that was what I’d hoped it was. The other way around didn’t bode well.

  Damn. The first things out of his mouth were about me running. “How did you know it was me?” That was the million-dollar question I needed an answer to. Hiding had been all I’d thought about since we'd left. No one recognized me as Cyrus. I thought I had covered my bases, but apparently I hadn’t. This was my biggest concern. I couldn’t let them find me. I couldn’t let him find me.

  “Your eyes. When you stared in my eyes for that brief second, I knew it was you.”

  His response had my heart picking up speed. The thumping so loud he could probably hear it over the phone. I needed to get off of this call. The intensity of my own emotions was almost too much. His voice made me come alive. Even with so much unspoken between us, I felt the ghost flickers of his touch. God, I would never forget this man. Right now, I needed to remain focused because my entire future in Sumner depended on Micah’s intentions. Like a Band-Aid, I’d best rip this open fast. “Can we meet to talk tomorrow?”

  His deep voice seemed friendly, but I was still so unsure. “We can, but we can also talk over the phone.”

  I didn’t know how to feel about this. “Why did you change your name?” He fired at me, still friendly, but now a little more demanding.

  “Please. I would rather do this face to face.” I wished I could say that I was this badass woman who didn’t shed a tear, and this wasn’t eating me up completely, but I wasn’t. I was a mom. A mom who would protect her cub no matter the cost. A mom who would do anything, including running and changing our names again. Anything to protect my kid.

  And there was too much to talk about to do it over the phone. It had to be face to face. I needed to be able to get a read on him. Body language told more than words could ever speak, and I needed to read his.

  There was a slight breeze on the other end of the phone, making me think he was standing outside. “Sure. Do you want me to come and pick you up?”

  “No.” It came out so fast there was no stopping it.

  He couldn’t see Remy. Not yet. It wasn’t time. Hell, would any time be right? We had to talk first. I wasn’t ready for any of this. I wasn’t prepared to have my world turned upside down, not when Sumner had become home. Silent tears fell down my cheeks. Control was quickly slipping away, and the struggle seized my thoughts.

  “Okay…” he drawled out, probably thinking I was crazy as fuck. “Then where do you want me to meet you?”

  Pull your shit together. Mentally, I had to talk myself through this. Neutral territory. We needed to be in a place where we both felt safe. While I wasn’t sure how to define that for him, I knew the space that I could confidently handle the truth at.

  “Do you know where Ryker and Austyn live?”

  There was a pause. “Yeah.”

  I didn’t know if I was relieved he knew the spot, or scared as hell that he knew where to meet me. Damn, I was a mess. “At the picnic table in the far corner of the pond. We can meet there.”

  “Okay, but why there?” he asked, and it was a good question, but I needed to shut this down. My entire body trembled as the anxiety inside of me continued to climb higher and higher.

  “I can explain it all when I see you at three.” My heart thundered in my chest, and sweat beaded on my brow. I could do this. I would do this.

  My pace became sprints with how long my damn legs were stretching. My thighs burned from the continual movement. I had never been so on edge in my life. Not even the night I escaped my father’s home. We were actually going to meet. I was going to stand face to face with Remy’s father for the first time since her conception.

  “I’ll see you then, Ensley.”

  That name coming from him felt weird, but all I said was, “bye” and hung up the phone, tossing it down to the couch. As soon as the device hit the fabric, I rubbed my sweaty palm down my pants. Yeah, I was really doing this, and sheer terror gripped my insides.

  While it was the right thing to do, I wanted to cover Remy up and take her away from all this madness. Expect, that wasn’t an option. We loved it here and had made it our home.

  The truth shall set one free, but was there really freedom in the history I had? There were too many unknowns right now. But one thing was for damn sure, he would not take my baby from me. That I’d write in blood.

  16

  Micah

  The water moved with the wind as the sun shone down, lighting it up. It was beautiful out here, but it also brought back memories of the times I’d spent here before I left. Funny how that felt like a lifetime ago, being here now.

  There were two homes on this property. Austyn and Ryker’s centered in the land. Off to the side of that was Emery and Jacks’ place. Back when Ryker built this place for Austyn, he had the other house built for Emery so the two best friends weren’t too far away from each other.

  Turning just a bit, I could see Emery’s place in the distance on the other side of the lake. Before leaving for the Marines, I spent time in her home, talking, laughing, eating pizza and what I thought was winning her over.

  I’d wanted her to be mine, but looking back it was more of a ‘we were meant to be together’ crap. But we weren’t, and I wished I would’ve seen it then.

  My childhood was spent with me torn inside. I remembered our mothers joking about us growing up and getting married. Part of me wanted that to happen and to have this Ravage family acceptance. I had this expectation with Emery that she was it for me and I for her without question or fail. Only I didn’t account for the individuals we had grown into. Nor, did I take the time to really analyze chasing some childhood dream versus what fit best in reality.

  She hung the moon and stars for me. When she rejected me, it killed, but I couldn't say where I ended up was a bad thing. The Marines saved me in more ways than one. The man I was and the man I had become, neither were a fit for Emery the way Jacks was. I’d never tell him that, but now I saw it all clearly. Time away did that, gave me clarity.

  It didn’t mean I didn’t think about her while I was gone because I did. Wondering if she was safe. If she was happy with Jacks. After a year or two, it finally felt as though I was over Emery. Sure, I’d always have a special place for her, but that ‘love’, if you call it that, just went away.

  There was so much I’d come to put in perspective over the years. Emery was a major one.
>
  She was this given in my life. A staple, a solid place to fall. Emery accepted me as the awkward kid who didn’t fit in and the rebel who rode in to stir shit up. No matter how bad I fucked up, Emery still looked at me with light. There was power in that. I didn’t understand it all then. Hindsight being twenty-twenty was the damn truth.

  Sitting on top of the table, my eyes wondered from Emery’s and back to the water. I pulled out a stick of gum and began chewing it. There weren’t many vices out in the field. Unfortunately, smoking became mine for quite some time. Booze was never good while you were on duty. Smoking didn’t impair your attention. Not to mention, cigarettes were very easy to come by. That pull and first inhale always woke me up, no matter how fatigued my body was. The steady inhale and exhale of the nicotine calmed me in the most tense of situations.

  When I got back stateside, I told myself I was going to quit, but quitting was proving to be a difficult task. Gum helped curb the cravings, but not by much. My fingers still twitched to have a smoke between them.

  I had a stash in my SUV, and part of me wanted to go and bust into it, but I didn’t.

  All I wanted was to keep my mind off the fact that Cyrus was coming. Cyrus. Fuck me. And she’d changed her name to Ensley. There had to be a hell of a story there. How in the world did she get to Sumner, Georgia? How did she know the Ravage MC? Who was Ryker to her, considering he was the one who gave the order to keep me back from going after her.

  Of all the places she ended up here? How was that even possible?

  Hearing her coming up the drive, I turned my head as she parked her Impala and got out, shutting the door behind her. She was still as beautiful as I remembered with her long red hair, but this time it looked as though she colored it, giving it a darker appearance. She had on jean shorts and a tee that fit her very well. It was nothing flashy, but it caught my attention.

  Her hands clutched around the keys so tight her knuckles were white. She had a look of dread or fear, and that wasn’t what I wanted to see on her face. Better yet, why would she fear me? Our night together was fantastic. She had no reason to feel as though I’d hurt her in any way.

  I hopped down from the table and met her halfway.

  “Hey.”

  She gave me a small, sexy, smirk and her beauty hit me like a punch to the gut. The thing about her was she didn’t know how beautiful she was. I could tell that by the way she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Hey, yourself. Come on.” She walked to the table that I’d just vacated, hopped up on the top, and faced the water. I joined her, leaving a bit of space between us. Sure, I’d kissed and licked every part of her body, but that didn’t mean she would be open to going a second round. She was here, and I wasn’t going to push my luck. Instead of inviting, she looked like she was going to jump out of her skin at any given moment. She reminded me of a scared jack rabbit, ready to scurry away at any given time.

  We sat in quiet for a bit, watching the light reflect off the water. I couldn’t help but wonder what she was playing at. After our night together, she had no reason to distrust me.

  What was going on in her head? Why was she scared? What happened to make her that way?

  So many scenarios ran through my head that they all became jumbled. Whatever the answers were, I needed to know she didn’t fear me. That was the one emotion that ate at me.

  Needing to have answers, I had to get the ball rolling. “First. It’s great seeing you, but I gotta know why did you run when you saw me at the clubhouse?”

  She let out a huff of breath as her hands clenched together in front of her. If I knew what the hell was going on, I’d reach out and put my hand over hers, trying to give her just a beat of reassurance.

  Her actions were puzzling me. Almost as if she had this huge secret that she was holding inside. While I wanted to know right then and there, she needed patience and to tell me when she felt the time was right.

  “You surprised me. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again and poof, there you were out of the blue in the last place I’d ever thought you’d be.” Her voice came out quiet, just like it sounded over the phone. Timid. Unsure Frightened. Nothing like the night we'd spent together. This part of Cyrus I couldn’t wrap my head around.

  What she'd said, though, was a plausible answer. It was the emotions rolling off of her that concerned me. “I get the shock, but why run? I’d never hurt you. There’s no reason to think I’d ever lay a hand on you.”

  Her head tipped to the side, her stunning green eyes coming to me for a brief moment before going back out to the water. “There are a lot of things I need to talk to you about, Micah.” Her tone was heavy and laced with fear, which rolled off of her in waves. I didn’t like this one bit. All my instincts came to the forefront.

  “I’ve got all the time in the world for you, Cyrus.” It was the honest to God truth. Now that I’d seen her, there was nothing more I wanted to do than to spend time with her.

  Her body jolted, and her head whipped around to me so fast it surprised me, which wasn’t something that happened to me these days. But the sudden change in her closed-off nature to alert and in control wasn’t expected. “No. You can’t call me that, Micah. That girl doesn’t exist anymore. She’s dead and buried and will remain there forever.” Fear mixed with anger came through loud and clear.

  That tight pit in my gut twisted. There were only certain reasons a person would change their name, and the most prevalent was somebody was after them. Every protective instinct came to the surface. “Are you in trouble?”

  “Yes… I mean no. Not any more really.” Her head shook, and I could tell this was hard on her, that she didn’t know what end was up and what end was down. I felt her terror and uncertainty returning like whatever was on her shoulders was weighty and bogging her down.

  I felt the desperate need to take all of that from her and carry it on my shoulders. For her to take a breath and let me make all of this disappear for her. Even not knowing what had her twisted up, it was right where I wanted to be.

  Turning my body toward her, my knee went up to the table as I grabbed her hand, getting her to turn to me. She didn’t pull away, but she tensed and let me hold it. I wanted to give her my strength to get through whatever she had to tell me and for her to feel safe in doing so.

  “Talk to me.”

  She let out a burst of air, her hand gripping mine tightly then releasing. A sign she wanted to talk to me and let it all hang out. At least I’d hoped. “Right. You have questions and deserve answers.” She took a deep breath, and her back straightened as if she were preparing. For what? I had no clue yet. “Cyrus was from my old life. A life that doesn’t exist anymore and needs to stay in the past. You can never call me that again. It’s Ensley. The other name is long dead and buried.”

  “That’s not telling me the why.”

  She turned fully to me, propping her knee up on the table as well, still allowing me to hold her hand. I counted this tiny gesture as progress, small but still there. Part of me wanted to plead with her to tell me, but I refrained.

  “Do you know about Ryker’s family?” Her brow arched in question.

  This confused me because of the switch in topic so quickly. “The Ravage family. Yeah.”

  She shook her head, her beautiful red hair moving with her. “No. Before the Ravage MC. What he was born into. The family he was raised in.”

  My brain shifted back, trying to recall if my father ever said anything to me about Ryker. Then it clicked. The conversation was short but memorable.

  Ryker came from a family where his father had like a dozen wives, and there were a ton of kids. Some kind of religious cult or something that he’d left a long time ago. That was about all I knew. “Yes. Some of it.”

  Her eyes met mine as if she was waiting to gauge my reaction. “Ryker is my cousin.”

  I didn’t let go of her hand, but this had my body jerking back as the shock overtook me. Cousin. No way. That couldn’t be true. Could it? What the
fuck? That couldn’t be because she’d be in a life completely different. “Seriously?” I asked, feeling incredulous.

  “Yes. Long story short, I grew up in that life. That way of thinking wasn’t for me, and I had to run away. Ryker helped me and my sister Katie break away and brought us here to live.” Her hand started to tremble, and I could feel her start to pull away from me, but I held firm and grabbed the other hand as well.

  While I had no first-hand knowledge of this religion, I’d watched enough television shows to know she looked nothing like them. She didn’t wear the dresses that covered her from top to toe. Nor did she have her hair in a bun thing on the top of her head. “But that night we met, you had on party clothes and didn’t act like I’d think someone from a religious cult would act.” She was all over me as I was her on the dance floor and in the room. Never would I have thought she had such a primitive upbringing.

  Fuck, I was loving that damn smirk on her face. Even as confusing as this situation was, I couldn’t help but take the time to admire her.

  “Oh, if my parents would’ve seen me, there would’ve been hell to pay. That night I’d snuck out with a friend of mine, Ari. It was only the second time we’d done it. I had a bit of a rebel in me.”

  What were the odds that we would see each other in a bar and end up here? Especially for someone who didn’t go out and had a very conservative upbringing. It was strange, but it also felt honest.

  I was getting no vibes that Cyrus, I mean Ensley, was lying about any of it. The name thing would definitely take some getting used to, but in all of this, I felt she was sincere. And my bullshit meter was pretty spot on.

  Her hands felt soft against my rough ones. My thumb slowly stroked her skin as I held her. More than anything in that moment, I wanted her to feel comfortable and safe with me. “Must’ve. Why did you leave?” Maybe her group wasn’t like the others I’d heard about. Maybe they were nice and more open. Hell if I knew, but it was a very valid question and one I needed the answers to.