by B. Love
“You good?”
Smiling, Leigh nodded as if he could see her. “Yea. I’m uh… about to see Ricky.”
“Ricky?” There was a long pause before he asked, “Your father?”
“Yes. I didn’t tell you that I’d been talking to him?”
“Yea, but I thought he was still out of town or some shit. I didn’t know you were getting ready to see the mane.”
Leaning back on the bench, Leigh smiled as she looked towards the setting sun. They agreed to meet at a public place – at what used to be her favorite park. The one he used to take her to when she was a child. It was a bit run down and rusty now, but it would do.
“Yea. Apparently he’s been here since Maria was shot. He said he’s not leaving until he sees at least half of his kids.”
“So what’s up? You changing your mind?”
Scratching her ear, Leigh nibbled on her top lip. Leave it to Ransom to immediately call her out.
“Yes. I just don’t know if I want to do this anymore. I feel like I need to. Like I have to. But I just don’t want to.”
“You want me to come with you?”
She smiled as her head shook. “No. Just hearing your voice has soothed me a little.”
“Well, you know you ain’t gotta do shit you don’t want to do. I know you might be scared because it’s been a while and you don’t know how you’ll feel, but you won’t know until you’re actually in that moment, Leigh. You braver and tougher than what you give yourself credit for. Beyond that hitwoman shit, you strong mentally and emotionally too, Leigh. That’s why you feel as much as you do. Because God knew you could handle that. So take some deep breaths and get your shit together. And daddy or not, if he make you cry, I’ma fuck ‘em up.”
Leigh released a giggle as she nodded. “Thank you, Ransom. That’s just what I needed.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Leigh didn’t want to disconnect the call, but she did. Inhaling a deep breath, she looked around the park, waiting for Ricky to appear. Technically, he was three minutes late, but that was okay.
She had no problem waiting.
So she waited.
Ten minutes.
Thirty minutes.
By forty-five, she was back in her car headed home, not even bothering to call and see why he hadn’t shown up yet…
Shaking her head, Leigh sniffed as she sat up in her seat. “Nah. Not yet.”
She didn’t want to tell her mother that he’d stood her up, because she didn’t want Porsha or anyone else feeling sorry for her. Deep down, Leigh knew that was a possibility, but since he’d been communicating consistently, she hoped that wouldn’t be the case. Around midnight, he called and left some bullshit ass excuse on her voicemail about taking some pain pills for his back and falling asleep. She hadn’t bothered to call him back. Not yet anyway.
“I’m gonna head out, Ma. I need to stop by the club and check in before it gets too late.”
“They won’t be smoking in there will they? I don’t want that shit messing with my grandbaby.”
With a smile, Leigh stood and headed for the door as Porsha followed behind. “That’s why I’m going in a bit early to beat the crowd. I can go in through the backdoor though and not have to be in the main room.”
“I’m so glad you decided to keep the baby. A part of me felt like you would, especially when you told me you were starting therapy, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up yet.”
Therapy had definitely been a huge help. It wasn’t what saved her. More like the key to what she needed to do to save herself. For that, she would be eternally grateful to her therapist and to her mother for suggesting it.
“Yea, well, I just hope I don’t fuck my baby up.” Leigh laughed, even though she was dead serious.
“Come on now. You know you got me and a whole lot of other mothers to help you out. We may not be perfect, but we got a lot of guidance to offer whenever you need it.”
“And I appreciate that,” Leigh confessed, giving her mother a hug. “I’ll talk to you later, though.”
“Alright, baby, be safe. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Trying not to let thoughts of her father standing her up irritate her all over again, she called Maria to ramble until she made it to the club. She would have called Christian, but she was probably laid up in a hotel somewhere in Denver with Nash. The only time Christian would really wild out when she went out of town was if she was in Miami, Las Vegas, or Atlanta, otherwise she left the city to rest.
Their conversation ended when Leigh made it to her club. She went in through the back as she told her mother she would and counted what was made last night. Even though Trinity was there and had done a count, Leigh still liked to go behind her and make the deposits herself. After putting the money back in the safe to deposit first thing in the morning, she went out front to speak to Ronica and a few of the girls before heading out.
A squeal fell from her lips when she made it back outside and saw Ransom’s car parked behind hers. Leigh had to keep herself from skipping over to him even though she was so damn happy to see him. Since they’d agreed to cool it for a while, she never knew when they’d share the same space. Every time they did, she cherished those moments more and more.
“What you doing here?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Maria texted me while you were on the phone with her and told me you sounded down. I was going to pull up on you anyway to give you this white chocolate covered fruit my mama made you, so I decided to drop it off here.”
With a gasp, Leigh released Ransom and looked into his car. “Mama made me grapes and pineapples? Give them here!”
Ransom chuckled as he went to the passenger side of his car to retrieve the white chocolate covered fruit. Since his mother had started making it, her love for fruit had returned. She didn’t eat it every day because the chocolate was super sweet, but it was definitely her weekly treat.
“I feel like you happier about this damn fruit than you are to see me.” Ransom pouted as he handed her the container.
“You know that is not true. I love when I get to see you.”
“Is that right?”
Ransom waited until she’d put the fruit in her car to wrap his arms around her.
“That’s right.” Her head shook as she blurted, “He stood me up.” Before she would allow his sad expression to be followed by words of pity, she told him, “It’s okay. I’m okay. It got me to realize I can’t waste my present holding on to and feeling sorry for myself over my past. I have to prepare for my future. Our future.” Her hands rested on his chest. “My baby won’t benefit from me being bitter over why my daddy loved himself more than me. Why he didn’t love me enough to stay. It doesn’t matter anyway. She will have you, and I will have you. And we will be okay.”
Ransom smiled as he pulled her hair and tilted her head back. “He,” he corrected before placing a juicy kiss to her lips.
“She, Ransom.”
“He. I’m tellin’ you.”
Rolling her eyes, Leigh pushed him back gently and stepped out of his embrace. “Whatever. What you about to get into?”
Licking his lips, Ransom’s eyes trailed over every inch of her body. “You if you let me.”
Leigh smiled as she shook her head. Just those five words had her pussy leaking instantly. “I thought we were giving space?”
“We’ve had space, and we gon’ have space.” Taking her shirt into the palm of his hand, Ransom pulled her back into him and buried his face in her neck. “I need you right now.”
The feel of his tongue on her neck caused chills to cover her arms as her nipples hardened. There was no denying it, or even a desire within her to, so she confessed, “I need you too.”
With a palm full of her ass, Ransom taunted her with, “I know you do. Now get in your car, and let’s go home.”
When Nash and Christian made it back to town, Maria pulled
a quick laundromat heist with him and pulled in quite a few stacks from one of their competitors safe. They ended up going to Leigh’s club to celebrate and make sure they were seen in public just in case the police were called that night. Normally they were able to get in and out without anyone noticing, but after what happened with Ricky, they never felt as if they were invincible.
Nash wasted no time heading to his usual VIP section where Jax and a few other men were seated. Even though Maria and Jax made eye contact, she didn’t bother to go over to him. Instead she gave him a small smile before heading over to the bar where Exotica was seated.
“Mariaaaaaa,” she sang as usual before hugging her neck.
“What’s up, E?”
“Not too much. I’m not on the clock tonight but I didn’t want to be bored in the house, so I still came in.”
“Why didn’t you call Pressure?” Maria teased, sitting at the bar next to Exotic.
She rolled her eyes and chuckled as she wrapped her hand around her Gummy Bear shot. “Girl, please. I told you I’m not going to let that man stress me out. He came in here the other night looking like his soul was tired as hell. Baby gotta do a lot of soul work before he can come looking for me.”
Maria would talk to Exotic and Pressure about just about anything, but she hardly talked to them about one another. After a few lines of conversation, she was quick to change the subject. Pressure was her favorite brother, and Exotic was her favorite friend. The last thing she wanted to do was get in the middle of whatever it was they had going on.
“I hear you. Has it been live tonight?”
“Not really, but only because the tornado warning has a lot of people staying inside. It would usually be three times as many people in here as it is.”
Maria nodded as she looked around the room. It was a bit emptier than normal, but that didn’t matter. The men that were there were taking full advantage of having so many women to themselves. When her eyes locked with the dread head at the opposite end of the bar, she allowed them to linger longer than she normally would.
The old Maria would barely allow herself to be attracted to anyone else. The new Maria was open to love and companionship, whether it came from Jax or not. Sure, she wanted it to, but she wouldn’t wait for him to come to his senses forever.
He took her slight smile as an invitation to approach, standing and bringing his drink with him as he walked in their direction.
“Ooh,” Exotic almost sang, gripping Maria’s wrist. “He has to be coming over here for you because he’s seen me all night and ain’t made a move yet!”
Maria chuckled as Ronica stepped in front of her to take her drink order. By the time she was done asking for a bottle of Hennessy, the dread head had made his way behind her and told Ronica to put it on his tab. Turning to the right, Maria allowed her eyes to trail over his face and body. He was definitely handsome with his chocolate skin, round eyes, and full lips. Unable to resist, Maria licked her lips as she allowed her eyes to focus on the print of his dick.
“I think I got enough liquid courage to finally try and talk to you tonight,” he confessed, implying that he’d seen her here before. Maria wouldn’t be surprised. She hardly ever paid men any attention. He could have been in her eyesight a million times before yet never a part of her vision. “May I sit down?”
Maria nodded, allowing her eyes to momentarily lock with Jax’s. He was watching her but hadn’t made a move yet. Maria didn’t know what to make of that. Jax had never been the type to fold. Maybe he was really committed to letting her go.
“You come here often?” Maria asked, forcing her eyes away from Jax.
“Yes, but only because my sister works here, and I like to keep an eye on her.”
“That’s admirable. My sister owns the place, so this is one of my chill spots.”
“I know. I see you here all the time, but I’ve never been able to come to you how I wanted to. You always seemed unapproachable, but it’s something different about you tonight.”
Maria smiled as Ronica set the bottle of Hennessy in front of her along with two shot glasses. If only he knew… that new thing was the love of Jax that was brewing inside of her. Had it not been for him, he would have been ignored just like any other night.
“Well, I’m glad you finally worked up the courage to approach me. Hopefully I’ll be worth it to you.”
He smiled, extending his hand for her to shake. “I’m sure you will. My name is Ethan. You are?”
“Maria.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Maria.”
“You as well.”
She watched as Ethan opened the bottle of Hennessy and poured them both a shot, then asked if Exotic wanted one. Exotic declined before giving Maria a kiss on the cheek and walking away. She headed over to Nash’s VIP table, giving Maria another reason to look over there. Jax was still looking at her, but he hadn’t even flinched in his seat.
“Are you single, Maria? I need to know if I even have a shot with you before I waste my time getting my hopes up.”
With a chuckle, Maria shook her head. Was she single? Even if she was, she honestly didn’t want to be. Looking over at Jax one final time, she said, “Yea, I’m single,” and Jax definitely read her lips because his eyebrows scrunched and top lip curled. His irritation wasn’t her concern. She wouldn’t be as trusting with Ethan or anyone else for that matter after what happened with Vincent, but she for damn sure wouldn’t be cooped up in the house alone pining over Jax. If he didn’t want to spend time with her, Maria would share herself with someone who did.
When the banging on Maria’s door began to commence, her mind took her to Vincent. All she could think about was the way he’d come into her home and violated her. Pulling up the camera on her security app, she rolled her eyes and groaned at the sight of Jax. She considered letting his ass stay out there and bang on the door until he got tired, but she knew Jax would only let himself in with his key whether she wanted to see him or not.
The more he banged the more irritated she became. “The nerve of this nigga,” Maria grumbled, storming down her stares. “Banging on my damn door like he ain’t got no sense.” With a huff, she snatched the door open before almost yelling, “What?”
As irritated as she was, the moment he smiled, her heart began to turn to mush. “I know Ms. Porsha taught you to greet your guests better than that.”
“The hell do you want, Jax? It’s damn near three o’clock in the morning.”
Not answering her right away, he stepped into her loft, looking around her space. As if he was checking to see if anyone’s belongings were there. He even went as far as to sniff the air, and Maria could only imagine what he would have done if he smelled another man’s cologne.
“You just gon’ let another nigga have you?”
Finally.
The whole time she was at the club talking to Ethan, Jax had nothing to say. No expression to show. Now he was here questioning her moves as if he had the right to.
The audacity.
“You don’t want me.”
Shoulders slumped, he stepped closer to her, but kept enough space between them for their bodies not to touch. “I do want you, boo. Bad as fuck too.”
Maria growled quietly under her breath before screaming, “Then have me, Jax!” Her voice and temperament softened when she added, “Because I want you too.”
Tilting his head, Jax looked around before asking quietly, “What about Malibu?”
“I still love him, and I’m sure I always will because he was my first love, but I’ve finally released him in my heart and made room for you.” Taking his hand into hers, Maria pulled him closer and placed it on her heart. “I’m falling… hard as fuck for you. Please don’t make me regret it.”
Jax rested his forehead on hers before tilting her head and sucking her top lip into his mouth. Body relaxed against his, Maria cupped his cheeks as he lifted her into the air and wrapped her legs around him. As he carried her up the stairs, Maria wasn’t conce
rned with Ethan, Malibu, or anyone else. In this moment, all she wanted was Jax – and she wouldn’t let anything or anyone stand in the way of them.
Time away. That was all Christian needed. Her time away in Denver was the perfect antidote to her jacked up mood. What made returning home even better was the surprise meeting Nash had set up for Christian with the architect he and Jax used for their business. She could hardly contain her excitement as she waited in her car, seeing as she was a whole thirty minutes early for their meeting.
Just as she began to apply a new coat of her burgundy lipstick a text from Trent came through. He’d been telling her about Tyrell and Fallon scheduling him to speak with a therapist, and Christian had been able to get him to open up about it. She looked down at the text, smiling when he told her that he would be more open to going to therapy now that he’d talked to her about it. Truthfully, Christian knew a lot of people who could benefit from therapy outside of Trent and Leigh, including herself.
Even though her relationship with Nash was solid, her life was nowhere near perfect. And their relationship wasn’t either. They may not have been having issues now, but she was sure they would in the future. Things would be different between them when their roles switched. If they were to get married or have children, Christian would definitely become a different version of herself. Since she’d never been either before, she had no idea how she would handle them, but a part of her was considering premarital counseling if they did decide to take that step.
Everyone assumed they would, and honestly, Christian did too, but she didn’t want to put so much stock in the expectation of marriage until she was one hundred percent sure it would soon be her reality.
As Christian waited for time to pass, she continued to browse buildings that were available just in case something would catch her eye. By the time noon arrived, she was heading towards the door hoping Kindred, Nash’s friend, would be able to give her some type of help. After checking in at the front desk, Christian texted Nash and let him know how much she appreciated all he’d been doing for her lately then put her phone on do not disturb.