Rob Roy — Complete

by Walter Scott

  CHAPTER TWELFTH.

  Drunk?--and speak parrot?--and squabble?--swagger?-- Swear?--and discourse fustian with one's own shadow? Othello.

  I have already told you, my dear Tresham, what probably was no news toyou, that my principal fault was an unconquerable pitch of pride, whichexposed me to frequent mortification. I had not even whispered to myselfthat I loved Diana Vernon; yet no sooner did I hear Rashleigh talk of heras a prize which he might stoop to carry off, or neglect, at hispleasure, than every step which the poor girl had taken, in the innocenceand openness of her heart, to form a sort of friendship with me, seemedin my eyes the most insulting coquetry.--"Soh! she would secure me as a_pis aller,_ I suppose, in case Mr. Rashleigh Osbaldistone should nottake compassion upon her! But I will satisfy her that I am not a personto be trepanned in that manner--I will make her sensible that I seethrough her arts, and that I scorn them."

  I did not reflect for a moment, that all this indignation, which I had noright whatever to entertain, proved that I was anything but indifferentto Miss Vernon's charms; and I sate down to table in high ill-humour withher and all the daughters of Eve.

  Miss Vernon heard me, with surprise, return ungracious answers to one ortwo playful strokes of satire which she threw out with her usual freedomof speech; but, having no suspicion that offence was meant, she onlyreplied to my rude repartees with jests somewhat similar, but polished byher good temper, though pointed by her wit. At length she perceived I wasreally out of humour, and answered one of my rude speeches thus:--

  "They say, Mr. Frank, that one may gather sense from fools--I heardcousin Wilfred refuse to play any longer at cudgels the other day withcousin Thornie, because cousin Thornie got angry, and struck harder thanthe rules of amicable combat, it seems, permitted. 'Were I to break yourhead in good earnest,' quoth honest Wilfred, 'I care not how angry youare, for I should do it so much the more easily but it's hard I shouldget raps over the costard, and only pay you back in make-believes'--Doyou understand the moral of this, Frank?"

  "I have never felt myself under the necessity, madam, of studying how toextract the slender portion of sense with which this family season theirconversation."

  "Necessity! and madam!--You surprise me, Mr. Osbaldistone."

  "I am unfortunate in doing so."

  "Am I to suppose that this capricious tone is serious? or is it onlyassumed, to make your good-humour more valuable?"

  "You have a right to the attention of so many gentlemen in this family,Miss Vernon, that it cannot be worth your while to inquire into the causeof my stupidity and bad spirits."

  "What!" she said, "am I to understand, then, that you have deserted myfaction, and gone over to the enemy?"

  Then, looking across the table, and observing that Rashleigh, who wasseated opposite, was watching us with a singular expression of intereston his harsh features, she continued--

  "Horrible thought!--Ay, now I see 'tis true, For the grim-visaged Rashleigh smiles on me, And points at thee for his!--

  Well, thank Heaven, and the unprotected state which has taught meendurance, I do not take offence easily; and that I may not be forced toquarrel, whether I like it or no, I have the honour, earlier than usual,to wish you a happy digestion of your dinner and your bad humour."

  And she left the table accordingly.

  Upon Miss Vernon's departure, I found myself very little satisfied withmy own conduct. I had hurled back offered kindness, of whichcircumstances had but lately pointed out the honest sincerity, and I hadbut just stopped short of insulting the beautiful, and, as she had saidwith some emphasis, the unprotected being by whom it was proffered. Myconduct seemed brutal in my own eyes. To combat or drown these painfulreflections, I applied myself more frequently than usual to the winewhich circulated on the table.

  The agitated state of my feelings combined with my habits of temperanceto give rapid effect to the beverage. Habitual topers, I believe, acquirethe power of soaking themselves with a quantity of liquor that doeslittle more than muddy those intellects which in their sober state arenone of the clearest; but men who are strangers to the vice ofdrunkenness as a habit, are more powerfully acted upon by intoxicatingliquors. My spirits, once aroused, became extravagant; I talked a greatdeal, argued upon what I knew nothing of, told stories of which I forgotthe point, then laughed immoderately at my own forgetfulness; I acceptedseveral bets without having the least judgment; I challenged the giantJohn to wrestle with me, although he had kept the ring at Hexham for ayear, and I never tried so much as a single fall.

  My uncle had the goodness to interpose and prevent this consummation ofdrunken folly, which, I suppose, would have otherwise ended in my neckbeing broken.

  It has even been reported by maligners, that I sung a song while underthis vinous influence; but, as I remember nothing of it, and neverattempted to turn a tune in all my life before or since, I wouldwillingly hope there is no actual foundation for the calumny. I wasabsurd enough without this exaggeration. Without positively losing mysenses, I speedily lost all command of my temper, and my impetuouspassions whirled me onward at their pleasure. I had sate down sulky anddiscontented, and disposed to be silent--the wine rendered me loquacious,disputatious, and quarrelsome. I contradicted whatever was asserted, andattacked, without any respect to my uncle's table, both his politics andhis religion. The affected moderation of Rashleigh, which he well knewhow to qualify with irritating ingredients, was even more provoking to methan the noisy and bullying language of his obstreperous brothers. Myuncle, to do him justice, endeavoured to bring us to order; but hisauthority was lost amidst the tumult of wine and passion. At length,frantic at some real or supposed injurious insinuation, I actually struckRashleigh with my fist. No Stoic philosopher, superior to his own passionand that of others, could have received an insult with a higher degree ofscorn. What he himself did not think it apparently worth while to resent,Thorncliff resented for him. Swords were drawn, and we exchanged one ortwo passes, when the other brothers separated us by main force; and Ishall never forget the diabolical sneer which writhed Rashleigh's waywardfeatures, as I was forced from the apartment by the main strength of twoof these youthful Titans. They secured me in my apartment by locking thedoor, and I heard them, to my inexpressible rage, laugh heartily as theydescended the stairs. I essayed in my fury to break out; but thewindow-grates, and the strength of a door clenched with iron, resisted myefforts. At length I threw myself on my bed, and fell asleep amidst vowsof dire revenge to be taken in the ensuing day.

  But with the morning cool repentance came. I felt, in the keenest manner,the violence and absurdity of my conduct, and was obliged to confess thatwine and passion had lowered my intellects even below those of WilfredOsbaldistone, whom I held in so much contempt. My uncomfortablereflections were by no means soothed by meditating the necessity of anapology for my improper behaviour, and recollecting that Miss Vernon mustbe a witness of my submission. The impropriety and unkindness of myconduct to her personally, added not a little to these gallingconsiderations, and for this I could not even plead the miserable excuseof intoxication.

  Under all these aggravating feelings of shame and degradation, Idescended to the breakfast hall, like a criminal to receive sentence. Itchanced that a hard frost had rendered it impossible to take out thehounds, so that I had the additional mortification to meet the family,excepting only Rashleigh and Miss Vernon, in full divan, surrounding thecold venison pasty and chine of beef. They were in high glee as Ientered, and I could easily imagine that the jests were furnished at myexpense. In fact, what I was disposed to consider with serious pain, wasregarded as an excellent good joke by my uncle, and the greater part ofmy cousins. Sir Hildebrand, while he rallied me on the exploits of thepreceding evening, swore he thought a young fellow had better be thricedrunk in one day, than sneak sober to bed like a Presbyterian, and leavea batch of honest fellows, and a double quart of claret. And to back thisc
onsolatory speech, he poured out a large bumper of brandy, exhorting meto swallow "a hair of the dog that had bit me."

  "Never mind these lads laughing, nevoy," he continued; "they would havebeen all as great milksops as yourself, had I not nursed them, as one maysay, on the toast and tankard."

  Ill-nature was not the fault of my cousins in general; they saw I wasvexed and hurt at the recollections of the preceding evening, andendeavoured, with clumsy kindness, to remove the painful impression theyhad made on me. Thorncliff alone looked sullen and unreconciled. Thisyoung man had never liked me from the beginning; and in the marks ofattention occasionally shown me by his brothers, awkward as they were, healone had never joined. If it was true, of which, however, I began tohave my doubts, that he was considered by the family, or regardedhimself, as the destined husband of Miss Vernon, a sentiment of jealousymight have sprung up in his mind from the marked predilection which itwas that young lady's pleasure to show for one whom Thorncliff might,perhaps, think likely to become a dangerous rival.

  Rashleigh at last entered, his visage as dark as mourning weed--brooding,I could not but doubt, over the unjustifiable and disgraceful insult Ihad offered to him. I had already settled in my own mind how I was tobehave on the occasion, and had schooled myself to believe, that truehonour consisted not in defending, but in apologising for, an injury somuch disproportioned to any provocation I might have to allege.

  I therefore hastened to meet Rashleigh, and to express myself in thehighest degree sorry for the violence with which I had acted on thepreceding evening. "No circumstances," I said, "could have wrung from mea single word of apology, save my own consciousness of the impropriety ofmy behaviour. I hoped my cousin would accept of my regrets so sincerelyoffered, and consider how much of my misconduct was owing to theexcessive hospitality of Osbaldistone Hall."

  "He shall be friends with thee, lad," cried the honest knight, in thefull effusion of his heart; "or d--n me, if I call him son more!--Why,Rashie, dost stand there like a log? _Sorry for it_ is all a gentlemancan say, if he happens to do anything awry, especially over his claret. Iserved in Hounslow, and should know something, I think, of affairs ofhonour. Let me hear no more of this, and we'll go in a body and rummageout the badger in Birkenwood-bank."

  Rashleigh's face resembled, as I have already noticed, no othercountenance that I ever saw. But this singularity lay not only in thefeatures, but in the mode of changing their expression. Othercountenances, in altering from grief to joy, or from anger tosatisfaction, pass through some brief interval, ere the expression of thepredominant passion supersedes entirely that of its predecessor. There isa sort of twilight, like that between the clearing up of the darkness andthe rising of the sun, while the swollen muscles subside, the dark eyeclears, the forehead relaxes and expands itself, and the wholecountenance loses its sterner shades, and becomes serene and placid.Rashleigh's face exhibited none of these gradations, but changed almostinstantaneously from the expression of one passion to that of thecontrary. I can compare it to nothing but the sudden shifting of a scenein the theatre, where, at the whistle of the prompter, a caverndisappears, and a grove arises.

  My attention was strongly arrested by this peculiarity on the presentoccasion. At Rashleigh's first entrance, "black he stood as night!" Withthe same inflexible countenance he heard my excuse and his father'sexhortation; and it was not until Sir Hildebrand had done speaking, thatthe cloud cleared away at once, and he expressed, in the kindest and mostcivil terms, his perfect satisfaction with the very handsome apology Ihad offered.

  "Indeed," he said, "I have so poor a brain myself, when I impose on itthe least burden beyond my usual three glasses, that I have only, likehonest Cassio, a very vague recollection of the confusion of lastnight--remember a mass of things, but nothing distinctly--a quarrel, butnothing wherefore--So, my dear Cousin," he continued, shaking me kindlyby the hand, "conceive how much I am relieved by finding that I have toreceive an apology, instead of having to make one--I will not have aword said upon the subject more; I should be very foolish to instituteany scrutiny into an account, when the balance, which I expected to beagainst me, has been so unexpectedly and agreeably struck in my favour.You see, Mr. Osbaldistone, I am practising the language of LombardStreet, and qualifying myself for my new calling."

  As I was about to answer, and raised my eyes for the purpose, theyencountered those of Miss Vernon, who, having entered the room unobservedduring the conversation, had given it her close attention. Abashed andconfounded, I fixed my eyes on the ground, and made my escape to thebreakfast-table, where I herded among my busy cousins.

  My uncle, that the events of the preceding day might not pass out of ourmemory without a practical moral lesson, took occasion to give Rashleighand me his serious advice to correct our milksop habits, as he termedthem, and gradually to inure our brains to bear a gentlemanlike quantityof liquor, without brawls or breaking of heads. He recommended that weshould begin piddling with a regular quart of claret per day, which, withthe aid of March beer and brandy, made a handsome competence for abeginner in the art of toping. And for our encouragement, he assured usthat he had known many a man who had lived to our years without havingdrunk a pint of wine at a sitting, who yet, by falling into honestcompany, and following hearty example, had afterwards been numbered amongthe best good fellows of the time, and could carry off their six bottlesunder their belt quietly and comfortably, without brawling or babbling,and be neither sick nor sorry the next morning.

  Sage as this advice was, and comfortable as was the prospect it held outto me, I profited but little by the exhortation--partly, perhaps,because, as often as I raised my eyes from the table, I observed MissVernon's looks fixed on me, in which I thought I could read gravecompassion blended with regret and displeasure. I began to consider how Ishould seek a scene of explanation and apology with her also, when shegave me to understand she was determined to save me the trouble ofsoliciting an interview. "Cousin Francis," she said, addressing me by thesame title she used to give to the other Osbaldistones, although I had,properly speaking, no title to be called her kinsman, "I have encounteredthis morning a difficult passage in the Divina Comme'dia of Dante; willyou have the goodness to step to the library and give me your assistance?and when you have unearthed for me the meaning of the obscure Florentine,we will join the rest at Birkenwood-bank, and see their luck atunearthing the badger."

  I signified, of course, my readiness to wait upon her. Rashleigh made anoffer to accompany us. "I am something better skilled," he said, "attracking the sense of Dante through the metaphors and elisions of hiswild and gloomy poem, than at hunting the poor inoffensive hermit yonderout of his cave."

  "Pardon me, Rashleigh," said Miss Vernon, "but as you are to occupy Mr.Francis's place in the counting-house, you must surrender to him thecharge of your pupil's education at Osbaldistone Hall. We shall call youin, however, if there is any occasion; so pray do not look so grave uponit. Besides, it is a shame to you not to understand field-sports--Whatwill you do should our uncle in Crane-Alley ask you the signs by whichyou track a badger?"

  "Ay, true, Die,--true," said Sir Hildebrand, with a sigh, "I misdoubtRashleigh will be found short at the leap when he is put to the trial. Anhe would ha' learned useful knowledge like his brothers, he was bred upwhere it grew, I wuss; but French antics, and book-learning, with the newturnips, and the rats, and the Hanoverians, ha' changed the world that Iha' known in Old England--But come along with us, Rashie, and carry myhunting-staff, man; thy cousin lacks none of thy company as now, and Iwonna ha' Die crossed--It's ne'er be said there was but one woman inOsbaldistone Hall, and she died for lack of her will."

  Rashleigh followed his father, as he commanded, not, however, ere he hadwhispered to Diana, "I suppose I must in discretion bring the courtier,Ceremony, in my company, and knock when I approach the door of thelibrary?"

  "No, no, Rashleigh," said Miss Vernon; "dismiss from your company thefalse archimage Dissimulation, and it will better ensure your free accessto ou
r classical consultations."

  So saying, she led the way to the library, and I followed--like acriminal, I was going to say, to execution; but, as I bethink me, I haveused the simile once, if not twice before. Without any simile at all,then, I followed, with a sense of awkward and conscious embarrassment,which I would have given a great deal to shake off. I thought it adegrading and unworthy feeling to attend one on such an occasion, havingbreathed the air of the Continent long enough to have imbibed the notionthat lightness, gallantry, and something approaching to well-bredself-assurance, should distinguish the gentleman whom a fair lady selectsfor her companion in a _tete-a-tete._

  My English feelings, however, were too many for my French education, andI made, I believe, a very pitiful figure, when Miss Vernon, seatingherself majestically in a huge elbow-chair in the library, like a judgeabout to hear a cause of importance, signed to me to take a chairopposite to her (which I did, much like the poor fellow who is going tobe tried), and entered upon conversation in a tone of bitter irony.