Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000

by L. Ron Hubbard

  Where they could put capsules in their heads, thought Jonnie.

  “Occasionally, very rarely,” continued Soth, “a royal noble could take his own females to other planets, but only with a whole catrist team along. All female employees of the company, by long-standing order from the catrists, had to be permanently sterilized before being shipped away from the home planet.”

  “You mean . . . ?” Jonnie gestured to the rest of the compound area.

  “Yes,” said Soth. “All these females are sterilized. They cannot have any pups.”

  He sat for a while, pensive. “You might think I hold it against you for destroying that planet. I don’t, you know. From the moment the catrists began to gain power, the race started to go bad.

  “The way I look at it,” he continued, “their program of degrading everyone, suppressing any group who sought a new morality, calling everybody animals, turned Psychlo into a beast. People all over the universes, all through the ages, prayed for the end of that empire. It was hated!”

  He looked at Jonnie. “Sooner or later someone was bound to rid the galaxies of Psychlo. Whole races have dreamed that dream.

  “You,” and he pointed a talon at Jonnie, “may think you did it. You didn’t. That whole civilization was doomed the moment the catrists began to influence it. It wasn’t you. It was they who destroyed Psychlo and the whole empire.

  “Terl was their product and I believe he had a hand in their destruction in some way. You know, I’ve heard he used to sit around in the recreation hall and tell people that man was an endangered species.

  “Because of the catrists, the Psychlos have been an endangered species for millennia. And now they’re not just endangered. They’re extinct!”

  He sighed and looked at his litter of papers. “Well, maybe I can help make up for some of the crimes they have done.”

  Then he looked at Jonnie. “As for you, Jonnie Goodboy Tyler, have no qualms about it. When you destroyed Psychlo you gave all the galaxies a chance to return to better ways. I didn’t need these contracts. You have offered them and I will keep them. But it is a privilege to help you and I thank you for the chance.”

  Epilogue

  A few months later, Jonnie heard that the government in Scotland was going to introduce taxation in order to rebuild Edinburgh. He knew that taxation had been unknown in the earliest days of the Scottish nation—the king had just paid for everything way back then. And he doubted Scotland had the resources to do it. Also, he felt a taxation, as a government way of life, was a sort of silly business: couldn’t a government earn its keep? Why did it have to go around robbing people?

  So he talked to Dunneldeen and got him to sell the idea to the chief of Clanfearghus that Edinburgh would be rebuilt by “contributions.” To foster the illusion that the Scottish people were paying for it, he and Dunneldeen put little red boxes along trails where Scots could drop in small coins and they even emptied some of them.

  But what really happened was that Jonnie paid for it. He sent in his Chatovarian construction company, Buildstrong, Inc. They had finished all the industrial requirements at Luxembourg and banking requirements at Zurich anyway.

  The Chatovarians, being Chatovarians, sent a research team all around Scotland and the government to find out what people wanted at Edinburgh and then went on and did what they thought was right, regardless.

  They decided Edinburgh would be in three businesses: planetary government, extraterrestrial training and Scottish handicraft. It was a real headache to them to reconcile such divergent actions into architecture, which they always maintained must be (a) indigenous and (b) suitable for the purpose.

  The city itself, their research team found, had once been nicknamed “Auld Reekie” because it smelled so bad. They also found no Scot had lived in it for eleven hundred years. This gave them a totally free hand: they rammed down everything except Castle Rock; they got several Highland hydroelectric plants back in operation rapidly and then called in their companion company, Desperation Defense, and had them make their installations and emplacements; they then put in sewer systems and filtration plants; and then they rubbed their hands and really got to work.

  They put the northern section of the town into industrial—for business and handicrafts—and gave it the overall look and landscaping of stone cottages such as the Scots were used to in the Highlands. They sweepingly planned out a large number of specialty schools: outside they were all Scottish baronial with the little projecting turrets, castles right out of the old fairy tale books, but the whole of the interiors were adapted to extraterrestrial living. They spread these all over the terrain with big parks.

  Castle Rock itself they saved for government. It had been so battered and fractured they had to get early engravings of it to see how to shape it; shaping and armoring rock was no problem to the Chatovarians, but what it had been like a couple thousand years ago was. They got an indication that a castle of an early Scottish king, Duncan, who apparently had been killed by Macbeth, had stood there—where they got this was a mystery. Somebody said an old play they had found in the wreckage of the British Museum.

  They reassembled the Rock, rebuilt its interior shelters, covered the whole thing with blue Italian marble, got it all armor hard and glowing, and then put Duncan’s castle on it in gleaming white. They found a cathedral they liked in an ancient city called Rheims that they said agreed with the architecture of the castle and put it up on the Rock in shimmering scarlet and called it “Saint Giles” again.

  The Scots were enraptured with the result of what they had “financed.”

  Jonnie thought it looked pretty good, too. But it did produce a problem. The Chatovarians, being overpopulated at home, always overhired and as this job had been “rush” and “for the boss himself,” they had accumulated a very huge crew. They also had a policy that you never fired anybody ever. It left him with a swollen city-building team almost the size of Earth’s entire population. So he put them to work rebuilding the cities the “visitors” had burned.

  This, too, gave the Chatovarians a problem. What were the cities for? Nobody had lived in a city for eleven hundred years. So their research teams had to figure out what future use the cities might be put to, based on resources, proximity to rivers and the sea, what crops grew in that climate, who they might someday trade with, how many people would have to be housed for what industry. It was very complex and quite difficult.

  Establishing the indigenous architecture was easy in Asia, fairly easy in Europe, impossible in America: this last continent had gone madly modern and the Chatovarians couldn’t abide it. So they just had to take the most interesting landmark sort of buildings they found on the sites, duplicate those, and make lots and lots of parks. The parent company in Chatovaria had overbought zip monorails on another job so they shipped those in and internally connected the cities up high so their parks wouldn’t be spoiled with roads.

  They had to get a Hawvin company in to clean up the radiation around Denver—they did it with flying magnetic sweeps. Then the Chatovarians rebuilt that whole area, including even Jonnie’s village.

  There were no populations, so when they would finish a city, they would just seal up the doors and windows, put a caretaker crew in, and leave it.

  Oh, well, Jonnie thought, when he saw all these empty cities going up, maybe somebody would live in them someday.

  Ker took charge of the mine school in Edinburgh and the Psychlos that were left alive moved there and gave lectures and demonstrations. Absolute hordes of extraterrestrials were pouring in to learn how to mine their own planets and get the metals moving again. Ker pictographed all the lectures so the technology wouldn’t be lost. He used Cornwall and Victoria for practical training and it kept him pretty busy, tearing around with Chirk who had the job of building up the libraries. Ker had a trick of wearing breathe-masks with the face of the race he was training painted on it. It made for friendlier relations, he said.

  There was an awful lot of ex-Psychlo
planets that had slave populations or people withdrawn to mountains, and the coordinators were very busy running their Coordinator College in Edinburgh, showing former subject races how to get organized and prosper. Their enrollment was greatly assisted by the fact that the Galactic Bank gave much more favorable interest rates to such planets when they had coordinators trained in Edinburgh.

  The new Earth government claimed that chief of Clanfearghus was king, probably due to the influence of Mr. Tsung’s brother. This made Dunneldeen the Crown Prince, but from all Jonnie could see, neither the chief nor Dunneldeen took his elevation very seriously. The government was very reluctant to pass laws and generally left things up to tribal chiefs in their own areas, intervening only when there was no other way to end a dispute among them. They were very popular.

  Colonel Ivan, with the title of “The Democratic Valiant-Red-Army People’s Colonel,” ruled Russia. Jonnie’s village people helped him, and then some of the younger ones went back to America to try to get it started again.

  Chief Chong-won and the North Chinese tribe made an alliance and began to build up China. Handicraft and silk for export handled their economic needs. They also had a cooking school that became widely attended, for the Selachees, spread all over the galaxies even farther due to their “neighborhood banks,” swore it was the best cooking anywhere, particularly for fish dishes, and were quick to finance any extraterrestrial who wanted to start a Chinese restaurant in his area, providing he sent some cook trainees to learn how. There were usually more cook trainees in China than Chinese. They not only had to learn to cook but also had to learn how to grow much of the food. The extra labor and machinery boomed Chinese agriculture and fisheries, and, as Chief Chong-won remarked every time he saw Jonnie, which was often, starvation was no longer the main product of the Chinese. Jonnie often wondered how an extraterrestrial, who ate quite another diet, could learn to cook food he would never eat. But the power of the bank and the appetites of the Selachees were similarly wonderful.

  Pursuant to wide galactic conversion to the decimal system, the bank distributed new issues of money. These upset Chrissie considerably: the coins and bank notes looked even less like Jonnie. She went on for some days about how they looked even more like a Selachee and even less like Jonnie. But Jonnie didn’t tell her he had carefully maneuvered things in that direction: these days he could walk right down a street and hardly anybody pointed. A couple more issues and no stranger would know him on sight at all.

  The bank in Snautch never did return their gold. When they built the huge new bank complex there, they put the gold behind armor glass in the main lobby with a multilanguage sign on it: “This gold was mined personally by Jonnie Goodboy Tyler and some Scots. He has left it with us because he TRUSTS us. So can you. If you start your new account today, you can reach through a slot and touch it!”

  When Jonnie wanted some gold to plate the inaugural display model of a new teleport car Desperation Defense was now converting to build in Chatovaria, Dwight had to go to the Andes with a team of the old crew and open up a mine there to get it.

  After the surveys on what people wanted were done by the bank as Jonnie suggested, the conversion of ex-arms companies to consumer products went very swiftly. Few of the Intergalactic patents were in any demand for a while. They found the people on civilized planets wanted pots and pans and suchlike, all of which were easily made and quite profitable.

  The original emissaries were now becoming very wealthy and powerful and backed Jonnie’s measures to the limit, even guiding their countries toward social democracy. Jonnie seldom attended their conferences, but they often rushed dispatch boxes to him to get his opinion on something. As they often told each other, antiwar was the most profitable venture they had ever heard of.

  The Hawvin Commercial Intelligence Service circulated a secret report on the twenty-eight platforms without knowing it had been planted on them by the Galactic Bank. They had been chosen for the “leak” because they were the most infiltrated intelligence service in any universe. The report was rapidly and secretly relayed all over the galaxies.

  It alleged that the original twenty-eight had been increased to fifty-three to allow for new nations and that the platforms were actually located in the seventeenth universe.

  The report created a new flurry of antiwar. But it also created astrographic turmoil as it upset the stable datum that as the number four when squared made sixteen, there could only be sixteen universes.

  Immediate action resulted. Several scientific bodies began searching, not necessarily to find the firing platforms but to see whether there was a seventeenth universe.

  The Democratic Royal Institute of Chatovaria did find an additional universe, but since it was just forming and had no evidence of sentient life in it, and since there was no trace of anything to put platforms on, it concluded it must be the eighteenth universe.

  The seventeenth universe, containing the platforms, remains undiscovered to this day. And as Jonnie sometimes told himself, this was not hard to understand. It was in his head. He never built the platforms.

  MacAdam had told Jonnie that quite a few of the old Intergalactic Mining Company reserve planets, even though habitable and currently uninhabited, were a drag on the market. So Jonnie, by special Selachee couriers from his own staff, secretly informed the original emissaries of different groups of planets on the list. They promptly made deals with the company and then rushed the planets into the real estate market with the slogan, “Enjoy peaceful, untargeted, suburban living,” and they made even vaster fortunes for themselves and their friends. They swore by Jonnie. Peace was one of the most profitable discoveries ever made!

  During that period the only sour bit of news that came Jonnie’s way was brought to him by his accounts staff. It had increased to two hundred Selachees to keep track of his income. They told him that the earth division of Buildstrong, Inc., was now the only company he had that was running in the red. All the rest were way up in the black. Jonnie said he’d have a word with its general manager and he did. He found that they had added to their payroll another two hundred thousand Chatovarian workers. The general manager explained they were not just building the burned Earth cities now, but had branched out and were rebuilding all the others, and had a two-hundred-year construction program they had all planned out and didn’t want interrupted. Jonnie told him—and his six assistant general managers—that he was building cities for which no populations existed nor would exist in the next several centuries, and that they better start figuring out how to show a profit. They said they would. But in return, he insisted they keep on with their program. No, they didn’t have any plans to settle Earth with Chatovarians; they knew that would engulf man. It was just that when they got going doing something they built up an awfully big momentum. Jonnie thought it didn’t much matter anyway so he forgot about it.

  Sometime after that Stormalong got bored with demonstrating the new teleportation-motored atmosphere transports Desperation Defense was selling all over the galaxies and training pilots for, and he talked Jonnie into letting him rehabilitate an old company orbit miner with cranes and fly to the moon. Jonnie talked Stormalong into first getting some pressure suits and then getting three other pilots as crazy as Stormalong, refitting four orbit miners and doing it right.

  Stormalong had the excuse that he wanted to go see whether he could find some more of that heavy metal. He figured that flights of meteorites had now hit the moon. It took them two months to get ready and to make the trip and return.

  They found the meteorites with heavy metal traces, all right, and mined them and brought back about two hundred tons of ore to process. But Stormalong brought back startling news:

  “There’s footprints up there,” he told Jonnie. “And tire treads!”

  This being in the world of tracking, Jonnie was very interested. They speculated on the possibility they had invaders. But the Desperation Defense people pooh-poohed it: nothing could get through their defenses. The
y then wondered if it might not have been the visitors putting down there during the war.

  Jonnie wasn’t going to spend weeks in space in an orbit miner so he chartered Dries Gloton’s space yacht for a weekend and he and Stormalong were taken up to have another look.

  Yessir! Footprints! Tire treads!

  Then the sharp, trained eye of Jonnie spotted a paper wrapper that must have been discarded and lay almost covered with dust. It said Carefree Sugarless Gum, Spearmint, 15 sticks, Life Savers, Inc., New York City. Stormalong thought it must be some salvage gear from a wreck maybe. But there was no wreck. Dries thought that maybe it was used to repair holes. Gum, you know.

  Jonnie wouldn’t let them mess up the tracks with their own. He picto-recorded them and then backtracked them and found a cairn with the very faded remains of what might have been a flag. Then, although he had trouble walking with almost no weight, he hiked around and found another cairn with another flag in it, also faded beyond recognition. That was all they found. But Jonnie showed them that the exposed edge of the wrapper was much more faded than the buried part and from that he deducted that these tracks and cairns were hundreds of years old. So they decided it was not an immediate danger and started back home.

  The real discovery was made on the way back. Jonnie was admiring Dries’s communication gear and Dries showed him the first pictures he had taken of the planet and Jonnie noticed there seemed to be much more cloud cover now.

  He did more comparisons. They were flashing down toward Europe, of course, but they could still see northern Africa and the Middle East. The latter was green. And the former had a new sea in the middle of it.

  Landed again, even though he was late for Sunday night supper, Jonnie got right onto the Desperation Defense duty officer and wanted to know if he was aware of planetary changes. He was and referred Jonnie to the general manager of Buildstrong.