by Jewel, Bella
“I’ll never stop chasing you, Ashy. I will never stop wanting you. I will never stop craving you, and you will never stop tempting me. You need to stop with the thoughts that I know are in your head, because I am not him. His fuck up will be my greatest reward.”
My heart hammered in my chest. How could he read me so well? Lachlan was a constant reminder of why relationships and I would never work. It was like he was sitting on my shoulder, ready to dispel any thoughts I had of Josh.
“I can’t think like that,” I said, practically whimpering under the intensity of his words. “I have no regrets about last night, but I’m too scared of it happening again.”
“I’ll never make the same mistakes again.” His voice vibrated off my skin. “Five fucking years.”
I spun around in his arms and suddenly all inhibitions were lost, never to be found again. What did he mean? We were chest to chest, two hearts frantically beating and joining as one while I pressed hard into him. We stared at each other in silent communication, speaking the words that should be said but were held in a vortex of silence. There was so much I wanted to say to him. I wanted him to know everything that I was thinking. I was scared, I was panicked, but I was intrigued. I wanted him to know that he could take what he wanted, whenever he wanted, and I would never stop him as long as he never took my heart.
“I’ll never stop chasing, Ash, because now that I’ve had you again, I’ll be picking up the pace. What I want, I always get.”
Lightly, his lips touched the side of my mouth, missing my lips entirely, but leaving a lasting impression. The thought of him chasing me caused a shiver to run down my spine. Josh was ruthless. He was overly confident, and stubborn to boot, so I knew I was in for the ride of my life. I hadn’t realized I was gripping his shirt until he attempted to step away. I quickly let go and put some distance between us, then crossed my arms over my chest in fear that I’d reach out for him. His eyes traced my body, and a smirk flittered over his lips.
“My shirt looks good on you,” he said, and nodded in approval. “Really fucking good.”
I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. “I’m keeping it.”
A smirk took over his handsome features, and with another roaming look over my body, he moved to me. “Last night was incredible, Ashy. No regrets, okay? It would destroy me if you had any regrets.”
“How can I regret something that made me feel so alive?”
Softness greeted his eyes and, without saying another word, he brushed his lips gently against mine, then left my apartment.
* * *
Three days later, I walked into the reception of Bangs and Beats with determination in my step, ready for a meeting with Ky. After a morning spent prepping myself for this visit and far too many cups of coffee, I felt like I could handle seeing Josh. For the past three days, I had been locked away from the world, working my ass off on the blog and putting in eighteen hour days. During those three days, I was also hiding from the reality of wanting him again. The ridiculous rules I made up seemed to be taunting me, because all I wanted to do was sneak into his apartment, pull down his sweatpants, and ride his cock like a cowgirl.
I was a hot mess of re-engaged hormones, sexually-stimulating orgasms, and a man who seemed determined to unravel me at a wickedly-insane rate.
It had been three days since he rocked my world, and there was still the slightest reminder of where he had been. It would seem that sometime during my begging for him to fuck me harder and faster, he had imprinted himself. Now if I moved a certain way, my body would scream “Josh was here.” I was ruined. Completely and utterly ruined. Trying to concentrate when all my mind wanted to do was replay the single, most erotic moment of my life—the image of Josh marking me when he unloaded his come onto my breasts, then claiming me with a grunt and the words “You’re mine, Ash”—was beautifully hellish.
I tore myself from going down memory lane for what seemed like the hundredth time, then stepped out of the elevator when I reached the fourteenth floor and headed straight for Ky’s office. After knocking once, I opened the door and stepped into his overly-large corner office, with views that made me constantly green with envy.
He was sitting behind his desk, tapping away mindlessly on his laptop, and his head snapped up at the intrusion. The narrowing of his eyes disbanded when his gaze locked onto mine.
“You’re early,” he announced happily, and rose from his desk. With two large strides, he was in front of me and pulling me in for a side hug.
“Want to grab some lunch before the meeting?” I asked, returning his hug.
“Sounds great. Let me finish this email, and then I’m all yours.”
He returned to his desk and started tapping away, while I headed for the visitors couch near his floor-to-ceiling windows. I pulled my phone from my purse, and started mindlessly flicking through Facebook to waste time. The usual whining and complaining, beautiful baby announcements, and photos from people’s weekend shenanigans filled my timeline.
What the fuck?
I inhaled sharply and stalled when a photo appeared and was linked to Josh’s wall. There I was, fast asleep, with a content smile playing on my lips. I was curled up, hugging a pillow, with a navy blue comforter covering my body.
With shaking hands, I scrolled down and looked at the comments.
Mitch Edwards: Is this your new girl? Fuck me, how do you get so lucky?
Angela South: Why haven’t I seen you lately? I miss your hands and mouth.
Samuel Decker: I’d love a piece of that ass. Why are you taking photos, you should be fucking her.
Mel Brown: She isn’t even that pretty. Call me soon babe.
My focus centered on the comments of the girls who’d obviously had a piece of Josh. At least I had something in common with them; we were all notches on Josh’s belt. The final comment under the photo caused my heart to hammer like crazy in my chest.
Josh Crawford: Prettiest girl in the world and all mine.
There was that word again: mine.
I hastily clicked out of Facebook and locked my phone. Josh couldn’t creep into my mind while I was having lunch and a meeting with Ky. What was Josh thinking? Why would he post a photo like that when we both knew Eden was just as addicted to Facebook as I was?
“What was that?” Ky asked beside me, his eyes locked firmly on the screen of my phone.
I had to think quickly. How could I possibly explain why his brother had a photo of me on his Facebook, asleep, and with an epic sex haze covering my face? Oh god, now I was thinking about sex with Josh. Shut up, hormones. “It was your brother being an idiot. Let’s go and get sushi,” I finally said, cringing at the weakness of my response.
Anxiously, I watched Ky process what I said. After what felt like an eternity, Ky swallowed my words as truth and I unleashed the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“Let’s go.”
After the ten-minute walk to Sake, we took a seat at our usual table, and I couldn’t ignore the questioning looks Ky continued to fire at me. Being best friends with him was amazing, but it was also impossible to hide anything from him. He wasn’t as thorough as Josh at reading me, but he had his own unique way, and right now, he was trying to read me, because he had the look plastered all over his face.
“Has Lachlan been in contact with you? I am so fucking sorry all that shit went down. If I had known . . . ”
My regret of not being honest with him still sat heavily in my heart. He was my best friend, and I needed to make it right between us. “No, he hasn’t, and I don’t think he will. Josh made it very clear that he should stay away from me. I’m moving on, Ky. Full force. And I just want to forget that I gave him a second chance. I’m spending some time finding myself again, and I’d really love my best friend to help me with that. I am so sorry that I didn’t say anything to you.”
“I’ll help anyway I can, and please, no more apologies.” The smile he offered in reply disappeared, and his eyes narrowed as he gave me
the don’t-give-me-bullshit tone. “Now tell me what’s got you so on edge today?”
I clutched the glass of sparkling water that was placed in front of me, and lifted it to my lips. I needed a moment to figure out what the hell I was going to say. How could I possibly tell him that his brother had ravished me, given me more orgasms in two weeks then my ex gave me in two months, and that I was still throbbing in beautiful delight as I sat across from him?
“I’m just tired. It’s been a big couple of days with moving back home and working on the blog. Lots of emails, phone calls, and not enough sleep.”
Being under Ky’s intense glare caused me to become a mass of anxiety. Seriously, these Crawford brothers were going to leave me with early-onset grey hair and wrinkles at the rate they were going. I continued sipping my water and tearing at my napkin. I felt his eyes bearing into me, and my head snapped up at the sound of his soft laughter.
“You do realize that’s a sign of sexual frustration.” He laughed and nodded to the pile of torn napkin in front of me.
Water shot up my throat and threatened to escape out my nose as I started choking. My unfortunate scene only encouraged Ky’s laughter to grow louder. Once I got myself under control, I shot Ky a look of pure fury and folded my arms across my chest like I was a child throwing a tantrum.
“You’ll have to go out with Josh one night and rectify that,” Ky continued with a touch of tease to his voice.
This was getting worse by the minute. Little did he know that his brother already rectified any form of sexual frustration I would have for eternity, and had single handily ruined me and my vagina for any other man.
“My frustration is none of your concern.” I pushed my little pile of shredded napkin to the side and avoided his gaze. I could feel my cheeks flushing. This was horrendous.
“One night out with Josh and you’ll find yourself a man to scratch that itch.”
My eyes shot wide. “For the love of all things holy, can you please not mention the words ‘scratch that itch’ when referring to my sex life?”
“Whatever you say, Ash, but you know I’m right. One night out with Josh and you’ll be a changed woman.”
He had absolutely no clue how right he was.
* * *
My meeting at Bangs and Beats was productive and Josh free. I sighed in relief as I walked toward the elevators to head home and get a start on my new assignment. Though I wasn’t styling with Alessandra anymore, I was contracted for some advisory work on an upcoming issue, and I couldn’t say no to the opportunity.
I felt him before I saw him.
The familiar scent that caused shivers to run down my spine and goosebumps to take over my skin hit me, and my eyes slammed shut as I felt his heat penetrate my back.
“You thought you could come to the office and sneak away without seeing me?”
“I had a meeting with Ky,” I whispered breathlessly.
“My office is right next door, Ashy.”
Josh grabbed my waist. His hands felt like they burned through the material of my skirt and hit my skin. His breath danced over the sensitive area of my neck, and I involuntarily shivered in delight.
“I’m just heading home,” I stammered, and turned to face him. That was my first mistake. My eyes took a life of their own and traveled down his body. The perfect amount stubble graced his jaw, his hair was wild, and his body was covered in a tailored charcoal grey suit with a dark blue shirt. Damn it to hell, he was dangerous to my libido.
“I love that fucking shirt.” His eyes darkened and roamed freely over my white shirt that showed a classy amount of cleavage.
“I love that suit,” I admitted, the words tumbling out before I could stop myself.
Like an unexpected flash of lightening, Josh grabbed my hand and we started moving down the hall, away from the elevators, at a quick pace.
“What are you doing?” I gasped and tried to pull my hand away, but my fight only encouraged him to hold on tighter. “People will see.”
His eyes, full of amusement, flashed to mine. “Stop making a fuss, and people won’t pay attention. And what I’m doing is having a taste of you before you up and disappear again.”
“Joshua, there are rules,” I hissed, trying desperately to ignore the shot of heat that fired through me.
“Fuck the rules, Ash. Anyway, there was one point I did not agree to.”
The instant he opened the door to the storage room, I knew I was in for the best kind of trouble. It would seem that my desires, needs, and now wants, were delivered to him with a big red bow and an open invitation to play whenever he wanted. That should have pissed me off, but all it did was excite me.
The click of the door and the turn of the lock sent my body of into overdrive. I was trembling with delight and anticipation. All hope of telling him that this wasn’t going to happen disappeared when I got lost in his eyes. His expression was clear and obvious. He had something on his mind, and that something was me. I could try to fight him, but I could never deny him.
My back pressed against the door, and his eager hands ran the length of my body until they found my hair. I gravitated toward him, and we became one when the heat of his body consumed mine. A million goosebumps covered my skin, though my body was soaring to epic heat. The tip of my tongue traced my bottom lip as his eyes held mine with fierce contemplation. My silent invitation of what I wanted was all he needed.
When his lips slammed into mine, he stole my breath and ability to think. My arms circled his waist as his hands fell to my ass and pulled me closer. I groaned against his mouth, as he ground his body hotly into mine. Our tongues entwined in the desperation brought on by three days of separation, and we craved the offer of ownership that swirled around us. Kissing Josh was like tasting cotton candy. It ignited your senses, it blasted you to an incredible high, and one taste forged a craving you’d never be able to fully satisfy. I was screwed.
In a swift move, Josh wrapped my ponytail around his hand and my head was pulled back. I gasped as a sharp pain shot through me, but it complimented the pleasure igniting my body so perfectly. My breathing was a shuddering mess of shallow and needy gasps as I tried to regain control. But losing control had never felt so right. There was a battle within me, as my body screamed at me for more, while my subconscious shook her head in disapproval.
“It would be an absolute fucking joy to have your mouth every day.” His forehead fell to mine and his soft pants hit my lips like a teasing summer breeze. “And it’s going to be an absolute pleasure working for it.”
“I’m not one of your girls who will drop her panties whenever you look at her, Josh. You know me. I’m not that girl. You and I both know emotions will get involved. You know I wear my heart on my fucking sleeve. I’m that girl, Josh. That’s reality.”
He pulled his face away from mine and took a step back. I fixed up my shirt, straightened my skirt, and redid my ponytail, all while under his constant gaze.
“A couple of things, Ashlyn.” Shit, he used my full name. No Ashy and no Ash. “I don’t want you to drop your panties for me. I want you to make me work for it, because you are worth every last bit of effort I have. I hope to Christ there are emotions involved between us, because I want you to feel everything thing that’s beautiful about being wanted. The fact that you wear your heart on your sleeve makes you the strongest person I know. You are the happily-ever-after girl, and you should be fucking proud of that. I don’t give a shit about what reality you thought you knew, this is a new reality. Hold on tight, Ashy. This is just the beginning.”
21
Josh
Thank you for the flowers. Very sneaky of you, coming in and putting them on the counter. I might need to change my locks. ;-)
I read Ashlyn’s text message for the fifth time, trying desperately to comprehend what I was actually reading. I hadn’t seen her since our tryst in the storage closet at the office, and I certainly didn’t sneak into her place and leave her flowers.
Drea
d filled my now highly-tense body, as I stood from the couch and placed my laptop on the coffee table. Scenarios hit me from all angles, but there was one that immediately haunted me. Ky and Eden had gone down the coast for a few days, so it wasn’t them, and the three of us were the only ones that had keys to Ashlyn’s place. One name continued to stab my thoughts, digging in deeper until I was drowning in anger.
Lachlan fucking Johnson.
I needed to get to her, it was as simple as that. Whether I locked my apartment or not was the least of my concern, as I rushed down the hall toward her apartment. Thank fuck for living on the same floor.
“Ashy, where are you?” I announced, after barging into her place and finding an empty living room. Where the fuck was she? I walked through the living room and halted as my eyes locked onto the offending flowers that were sitting on the kitchen bench. Roses? Ashlyn hated roses.
“What are you doing here? It’s not even three p.m.”
I turned at the sound of her voice behind me. She walked straight to me, wearing black sweat pants and a fitted pink tee, with her hair hanging freely over her shoulders. The smile that greeted me was pure happiness, and I would have absolutely loved it if I knew it was for the right reasons.
“I worked from home today.”
Raising her hands and resting them on my chest, her big green eyes shimmered with thankfulness and glee as she gazed longingly at me. She truly thought it was me. How was I meant to tell her my assumption was that her mother fucker of an ex had come into her apartment without her knowing? That it wasn’t me who brought her the flowers that made her radiate with happiness?
“Thank you again. The flowers are beautiful.” She rose on her tiptoes and edged closer, her lips heading for mine.
“Wait,” I whispered, knowing I couldn’t kiss her under false pretenses.