I was on my feet and I hurriedly stepped away. All our clothes were strewn everywhere on the ground. I started picking mine up. Suddenly, I was acutely aware of my naked body and also conscious of the fact that we had been locked away in the storage room together for some time now.
The guys out there…Bender and the others. What did they think we were doing inside? They had to have guessed what was going on by now.
Cash was dressing himself quickly too.
He was barely even looking at me, let alone meeting my eyes. Within minutes, he was fully dressed and standing in front of me, towering over me as I buttoned up my shirt.
I knew my hair was a mess. My makeup must have been a mess too. I didn’t know how I was going to keep my chin up if I went out of this room looking like this.
I’d never done anything like it before. In fact, ever since I met Cash; I kept doing things and experiencing things I never had before. It felt strange to me.
“I should go out and make sure everything is in order,” he said. One of us had finally spoken. His voice was deep, and he sounded dismissive, like he didn’t want this to have happened.
Of course, he didn’t!
When he got me this job, he was only trying to do me a favor because he felt bad for me. And now, he didn’t even want me around. He was trying his best to get me to leave.
“Yeah, sure, you go ahead, I’ll be out in a few minutes.” I tried to sound as casual as I could while I ran my fingers through my hair. Cash caught my eyes, just as a quick glance and then he was walking out of the room again.
I watched him go and of course I couldn’t or wouldn’t say anything to make him stay.
I knew from the beginning that the sex was nothing but casual.
How could it mean anything else?
But now suddenly, did I want it to mean more?
I felt disgusted with myself for even thinking that way, but I couldn’t help it. Cash had made me feel something. He had made me feel secure and safe in his presence. When he held me, it felt like home, like I belonged to him…but obviously, that was not the way he felt about me.
I was an idiot for thinking anything of it.
The door shut behind him as he stepped out and now, I was alone in the storage room, with nothing but my thoughts of him.
13
Cash
Fuck! I shouldn’t have done that. Not a second time. Not again, when I knew exactly the consequences of being intimate with her once before.
For some reason, I still hadn’t figured out why yet; but being with Vivian was different. She wasn’t like the other chicks I usually banged. There was more to her. I wanted to be close to her. I wanted to protect her.
And yet, I knew she was an impossible entity. This was never going to work between us. She was too different. Her world was something else. Besides, I didn’t even know what I wanted.
The last thing I wanted to do was use and discard her the way I did the other women I knew. She wasn’t like them. She deserved better than me. She deserved to have something real and I wasn’t going to be able to give it to her, no matter how hard I tried.
Fuck!
She was messing with my head. I could feel it in my bones.
Even though I couldn’t see her anymore, she wasn’t even in my sight—I could feel her. I could sense her around me. I could taste her. I could feel my cock throbbing inside her, filling her up. I knew what it felt like to explode inside her. It felt good.
It fucking felt fantastic.
Her body was angelic. She was soft and supple, and she molded to me exactly. There was nothing I wasn’t willing to do to have her again. As wrong as it was. As fucking messed up as this was. I didn’t know what the right thing to do was. It was just sex.
It shouldn’t have mattered.
I never thought about it after I’d fucked someone, and yet here I was now, pushing myself over the edge because this woman made me ‘feel’ something. I didn’t like how pathetic this whole thing made me feel in the head.
I stormed out of the storage room and I very nearly punched a wall. This felt like shit. I didn’t know what it was supposed to be; if this feeling had a name to it but I didn’t like it. It was shit.
Around me in the bar, things seemed to be falling apart. Grimm wasn’t here when the shootout took place, but someone had called him and now he’d called Church.
The boys were all gathering together in the bar. Windows were shattered. There were bullet holes in the walls everywhere. Bender was still working to get the bar up and running after the damage that was done.
How long had I been in there with Vivian? It didn’t feel like long. Time had passed too quickly.
As I walked back in the bar, I caught Patch’s eye. One of his hands was bandaged. Nearly everyone around me had a wound of some kind. We’d taken a bad beating in this shootout but at least there were no casualties. We were all in one piece.
“We need to tell the others what’s going on.” Patch had appeared behind me while I was looking around. I looked at him over my shoulder just as Grimm arrived at the bar.
“Yeah, we have no choice. We need to do something about this shit before it fucking escalates,” I said. Grimm was standing in the middle of the bar now, looking around him in awe like he couldn’t believe it.
It was true; the bar had taken a severe blow in the shootout. A lot of time and money was going to have to be spent to bring it back up to speed.
“What the actual fuck?” he growled, coming to a stop in the center of the room now.
The others who had all been in the middle of very loud conversations started to gather around Grimm now. Patch and I remained at the edge of the circle, waiting for Grimm to start Church.
“Can someone please explain to me what the fuck is going on? Why are the Sons of Satan, who I thought were gone, opening fire on us in the middle of a fucking Wednesday?” Grimm was snarling. He was a family man these days; he didn’t like random interruptions to his day.
He was looking around, waiting for one of us to speak up. I was about to explain the situation, but Bones interrupted.
“We have no idea what’s going on, Grimm. Patch came in here and told us he had intel that we were going to be under attack. We just had a few minutes to prepare ourselves.”
Grimm looked confused and then he turned to Patch.
“What intel? What is Bones talking about?”
“I heard it underground that they were collecting their weapons and getting on their bikes, heading in our direction. I didn’t wait to ask too many questions. I knew I had to come here and alert the club.”
I clenched my hands involuntarily on my sides, reliving the moment those motherfuckers arrived on their bikes and started shooting.
“And is there a goddamned reason why they would do a thing like that? I mean, have we fucking provoked them in any way?”
Patch glanced at me and I squared my shoulders in preparation.
“Last night we encountered two jackasses from the Sons of Satan on our way back from training the new prospects,” I began. Grimm had his brows crossed.
“When you say encountered…”
“I mean, we beat the living shit out of them and sent them packing on their way. They attacked a girl on the road. They were going to hurt her.”
Grimm clenched his jaw tightly, glaring at me and Patch while I stared back at him. I knew Grimm; even though this was not good news for our club, I also knew that he would not be able to refute our decision in helping Vivian.
“And this is their form of revenge?” Grimm continued, and I shrugged my shoulders.
“That’s what it looks like. They don’t know how to keep their men in line,” I said. Grimm breathed in deeply, but he wasn’t going to criticize my actions. It was our club policy. We would never hurt a woman or a child or even an innocent bystander. Nobody who wasn’t involved in our business deserved to get hurt because of us. Neither would we ever stand by and watch them being hurt either.
“Fucking Hell!” Grimm growled and rubbed a hand over his face. I let a few moments go by, allowing him to think about what he was going to tell us now.
“Alright. Fine. We need to figure out an act of retaliation for this. We can’t just sit around and let the Sons of Satan shoot the living daylights out of us. Just because we kicked two of their men to the curb for acting like animals.”
This was the Grimm I knew. The president I respected.
He was never going to sit back and watch a woman get hurt. Just like I wouldn’t either.
He fixed his eyes on Patch and me.
“You two figure out a plan for this, since the two of you fucking started it in the first place,” he said. Before Patch could say anything, I nodded.
“Yes, boss,” I said, and Church ended.
Patch walked up to me afterwards, while a busy buzz filled the bar now that the meeting was over.
“I knew something was going to happen today. I knew it the moment those two assholes went scampering away last night,” he said. Patch looked worried. I glared at him as I lit a cigarette.
“This is going to fuck up our peace time. The Sons of Satan have just been looking for the next excuse to fuck us over and this is it. This revenge retaliation is going to go on for some time till they draw blood.”
I was growling in anger, seething with rage. Those fuckers had just appeared out of nowhere and totally destroyed our clubhouse. Most of our men were injured. And all this over one girl.
“What is she doing here anyway?” Patch continued. Clearly, he’d noticed Vivian around by now. I dragged in the nicotine from my cigarette and blew it out slowly.
“I got her a job, got her to work for Bender behind the bar,” I told him, and Patch looked unconvinced.
“Because she got attacked by those two motherfuckers last night?”
I shrugged. This was not the time or place to explain myself to him. Besides, the whole Vivian situation was too complicated even to me.
“Everything just got totally fucking messed up last night,” I grunted and took another drag of my cigarette.
Patch was standing beside me, bobbing his head up and down.
“You regret your decision to stop and help her now?” he asked.
I was looking ahead into the distance. At the guys around the club straightening up turned over chairs and tables. I saw the damage around me. The wounds all the men were sporting—and just for a moment, I imagined what it would have resulted in if I hadn’t stopped to help Vivian last night.
One thing was sure, I wouldn’t have been feeling this fucked up right now.
“Maybe, yeah. Maybe I do fucking regret it,” I said and as soon as the words left my mouth, I sensed a movement behind us. I turned to find Vivian standing there. I knew she’d heard me because her face was as white as marble.
Shit!
Before I could say anything or make a move in her direction even, Vivian had picked up and started running away.
14
Vivian
I could feel tears pricking the backs of my eyelids as I tried to make my way away from him, away from Cash and the bar. This was the last straw. I knew he was wary of having me around this place and he’d changed his mind about offering me the job—but saying it, outright admitting it to his friend that helping me was a mistake—just took the cake.
There couldn’t have been a bigger insult to me than what I just heard Cash say. He had essentially said that he didn’t much care about what happened to me. If he could turn back the clock, he would change his decision to rescue from those brutes. My life was worth nothing to him!
And why should it be?
I was just a plaything to him. Just like I was to everyone else here in LA.
I was running now. I’d run out of the bar and into the streets. It was late evening and it was going to be dark soon, but with tears streaming down my face; I didn’t care anymore.
I could be going anywhere. I just wasn’t paying attention. All I wanted to do was run away from him. If I never saw Cash again, it would be good. It would be for the best.
He had as good as admitted that he wished I was dead. That I wasn’t a part of his life.
And that was the way I felt about everything.
I knew that was the way my family felt about me. Just like the rest of them who didn’t care if I lived or died; Cash was the same. And why would he be any different? It wasn’t like we were even friends.
I felt lost and alone as I kept running, trying to get away from everything even though it was only the bar I was really getting away from.
“Vivian! Fuck! Stop!”
For some reason, I heard Cash’s voice before I heard the sound of his bike engine. I just hadn’t been paying attention. Clearly, it didn’t take him long to catch up with me.
I stopped and whipped around to face him; wrapping my arms around my torso in a pathetic hug.
“What do you want from me? Just leave me the fuck alone!” I screamed.
Cash killed the engine on the side of the road, while I took some steps away from him, backing off. I was afraid of him coming close to me because I knew the effect, he could have on me. If I spent any more time with him, I’d be giving into anything he asked.
“Vivian, just hear me out before you go,” he said, walking towards me now.
“Hear you out? What more could you possibly have to say to me?” I didn’t want to cry in front of him. I was trying my best not to break down in tears in front of him because that would be the most embarrassing thing I could do.
“What I said back there to Patch…it has nothing to do with you.” Cash’s eyes were glazed over and softened. His hair looked ruffled up after a long day. I could still recall the feeling of his beard on my skin. Just an hour ago, he was inside me, and now I was ready to walk away from him forever.
“It has everything to do with me! It was about me! How much more personal could it possibly get?” I was still screaming.
We were standing on the side of the road and cars were whizzing past us. I wanted to get away, but instead of going on walking in the direction that the road would take me, I made a detour into the mild forestry on the side.
“For fuck’s sake, Vivian!” I heard Cash call after me, but he followed me in.
“Things are just really fucked up back at the clubhouse, with those other guys. That is the only reason I said something like that to Patch!” He was continuing to talk while he followed me and I tried to traipse through the woods, stamping over fallen leaves and twigs in my path. The last thing I wanted to do was face him.
“I would never not want to help someone in need. Nobody in my club would either. It’s a part of our principles. Vivian, slow the fuck down!”
He came up to me from behind and grabbed me by my arm and spun me around.
“Are you listening to me?” he growled, looking deep into my eyes.
I could barely even shake my head now.
“You said you wished you hadn’t stopped for me,” I replied, realizing that my voice had now come out as a whisper this time.
Cash was searching my eyes.
“That was not what I meant. It might have sounded like that to you, but I would stop for you, every time. No matter the consequences.”
Something was happening to me. Maybe it was because of the effect his words had on me. What was he saying? Was he trying to tell me something? Just a few minutes ago, I was convinced that he wanted me gone from his life.
His thick strong fingers stroked the soft skin on my arms as he held me now. We were staring at each other. I felt like I was pouring myself out into his dark piercing eyes. My mouth parted and I knew he could tell I wanted to be kissed.
He moved himself closer to me and I leaned towards him too. Cash’s hand moved up from my body towards my face and with one big thumb, he traced the shape of my lower lip.
I gulped, trying to force myself to breathe because I realized I’d stopped. He was searching my eyes, while I was trying to find
the right words to say to him.
I knew this would happen! No matter how much I tried to run away from him; all he had to do was just look at me and I’d be toast.
“Do you believe me, Vivian? I didn’t mean what I said,” he continued in a low guttural deep voice. I had no choice but to nod my head. I hadn’t even had a chance to think about what he told me. I didn’t know if I believed him. Right now, I just wanted to do anything and everything he wanted from me.
He leaned towards me and kissed me with that same passionate animalistic release like he did earlier in the storage room. I sighed right into his mouth while his arms wound around me, pulling me closer and pressing me to himself tightly.
I let our tongues mingle and suck while his hands went everywhere, down my back right to my butt. He was squeezing my butt, holding me tightly. I could feel his cock growing in his pants, rubbing against my thighs.
I’d known it from the moment he leaned towards me that it was going to happen again. I wanted it to happen again. I couldn’t wait to feel him inside me. It didn’t matter that we had each other just an hour ago. Enough time had passed, and it felt like we were discovering each other for the first time.
Cash’s mouth moved from my lips, down to my chin and down my neck and I could feel the cold trail his tongue was leaving on my skin. His hands were on my breasts, squeezing and teasing and pinching my nipples till I felt like my body was on fire. I could feel the wetness between my legs. His hands were proceeding there.
Down the front of my pants, until he could feel my swollen moist pussy. He started stroking me immediately, while he pushed me backwards towards a tree. I felt the roughness of the tree bark on my back, pressing into me. While Cash’s fingers continued to play their magic on my clit.
I reached for him too, cupping his cock through his pants, stroking and massaging it and feeling it grow right there in my hand. His eyes were heavy and dark, and he glared at me while we pleasured each other with our hands.
Then, as suddenly as he kissed me, he pulled his hand out from my jeans and grabbing me by my waist, he flipped me around to face the tree trunk.
Cash: The Black Cobras MC #2 Page 6