I needed some time to myself to recuperate.
I called my agency from the doctor’s office and they said Rita had already informed the crew that I had suddenly become very ill and I would probably need the day off.
I was glad for Rita looking out for me.
Even though they didn’t usually make accommodations like this for a newbie model like myself, my agency was able to convince them to postpone the photoshoot for the next day.
So, I had exactly twenty-four hours to calm myself. I needed to finish this job. The money would take me a long way, even if this was going to be one of the last jobs that I did.
For the rest of the day, I remained cooped up in my apartment, pacing around my room and trying to figure out what I could possibly do next after this.
In a few months, I was sure to not be able to work anymore. I would have to let go of the agency, let go of this apartment and move from LA. Just the thought of moving back home, penniless and pregnant and fully dependent on my family again—brought tears to my eyes.
If only there was something else, I could do.
I thought about Cash that evening, the father of my child, the man who kept me awake every night; tossing and turning in bed. If only I could tell him. If only he was the kind of man who would want to help me, would want to be a part of this child’s life…but I knew he wasn’t. That brought tears to my eyes, too, even though I was trying to be strong.
Eventually, when Nora came home, I had no choice but to tell her what was going on. She was going to figure out sooner rather than later that something had changed in my life. Besides, I needed one source of support at the very least!
Nora held me close while I told her everything and she tried to be supportive and told me it was going to be okay. We both knew it wasn’t. We both knew things had gotten too complicated now and it was never going to be okay. The career I had just started to build here in LA was going to come crashing down in a few weeks.
I didn’t cry as I spoke to Nora. I wanted her to see how deeply I felt for this baby growing inside me too.
At least if nothing else, now I would have something to call my own. My own child. My own special someone.
* * *
I arrived at the studio on time the next day for the photoshoot, even though I wasn’t really in the mood to work.
I knew I was going to have to force myself to work today, to get the job done because I needed the money. I had no choice but to slap a smile on my face and carry on.
Just like the previous day, Rita was waiting for me in the changing room to do my makeup and she greeted me with a smile today.
“You’re glowing, hun!” she commented as I sat down in the chair in front of her. All I could do was smile weakly and she looked at me with encouragement.
“I know you’re probably feeling alone and scared right now, but this baby is going to change your life and mostly for the better. Trust me,” she said as she started working on my face.
I wanted to believe her, I wanted to feel constantly positive about this baby, but it was difficult to maintain that at all times. All I could do right now was nod and Rita continued to smile as she worked.
“Very soon, as you get to know your baby, you’re going to feel this unbreakable bond and connection with it like you’ve never felt before. Nothing else is ever going to come close. Do you mind me asking…is the father in the picture?”
I didn’t mind her asking because I could sense that Rita genuinely cared about me. Even though we didn’t know each other at all. She had this motherly protective aura about her.
I sat there in front of her, clasping my hands and trying not to act too nervous.
“No, he’s not. He doesn’t even know about the pregnancy,” I said. Rita’s brows furrowed with concern as she continued to work on my face with her brushes.
“Well, I believe that he should know. Maybe you’re afraid of his reaction, maybe you think he’s better off not knowing…but trust me, honey, you might end up regretting it all your life if you keep this from him. You might be misjudging the situation completely. He might want to be a father.”
I shook my head, trying to remain calm.
“I know he wouldn’t want to be. He would run for the hills. He’d forbid me from ever getting in contact with him again. I don’t know him very well, but this much I can tell.”
Rita clucked her tongue as she worked.
“But you’ll never know for sure unless you try, hun,” she insisted, and my nostrils flared. I didn’t want to keep talking about Cash anymore because it made me sad.
“It’s not going to work, and I don’t want to feel even more pushed away from him. He’s out of my life now and I’m out of his and that is how it should stay, for both our sakes and the baby’s,” I explained, and Rita didn’t say any more on the subject. She could obviously sense that this conversation wasn’t going anywhere. I’d already made up my mind on it.
* * *
The photoshoot went as smoothly as it could go, and even if it didn’t—I would have barely even noticed. I felt like a zombie walking around the set. I wasn’t in control of my senses or my feelings. I was just doing what I was being told to do. Standing, posing, staring, smiling, not smiling…I was like a puppet in the hands of the cameramen and the others around me.
The only thing I could really focus on was the thought in my head—that there was a baby growing inside me and this baby belonged as much to Cash as it did to me. But I was the only one who knew.
Rita’s words had struck a chord in me, as much as I tried not to think about it. Should I feel guilty for keeping this information from him? Would he want to know?
I didn’t have the courage to face him again. To see him again.
I felt like I would just get my heart broken all over again if I did.
Once done with the photoshoot, I had some time to myself in the changing room as I took the makeup off and changed back into my normal clothes. Everyone around me was congratulating me for the great shoot and the good work, and all I could do was smile and nod at them because I had no recollection of the pictures being taken.
Besides, this was not going to last. In a few weeks it would all be over, and this would just feel like a dream.
I spent some time sitting at the dressing table, staring at my pale face in the mirror. Eventually, I had no choice but to stand up and go. I’d spent too much time in the dressing room already. Rita was outside and she waved goodbye to me. She probably assumed that we would bump into each other soon again at some other photoshoot. I tried to smile as widely at her as I could and then I was walking out of the studio, headed in the direction of the parking lot.
Outside, I realized it was still early evening. It was a hot day and the sun was shining bright. I rummaged in my bag for my sunglasses, but I’d forgotten them at home! I looked around the parking lot absentmindedly. I’d forgotten to call for a cab. Dammit!
I wasn’t feeling like myself anymore.
I pulled my phone out of my bag now and started to search for a cab company number I could call. And just then, I thought I heard loud bangs which sounded like gunshots.
Startled, I looked up, but I barely had any time to react. A black van with dark tinted glasses was screeching to a stop right in front of me and the back sliding door was being pulled open.
Before I could even see what was inside, something was flipped over my head from behind and everything just went dark.
* * *
It felt like a rough material on my head, something like a sack, but it was thick enough to completely cut off the light. I was blinded and before I could scream, a man’s hand was on my mouth, suffocating me.
I tried to run but two sets of hands were grabbing me by my shoulders and hauling me up. I kicked and struggled but these hands were dangerously strong. I could feel myself being lifted up in the air and being carried.
Then I was flung, my body hit the cold metal floor of the back of the truck and I could feel tears trick
ling down my cheeks. There were hands holding me down, keeping me pressed to the floor.
I struggled and tried to move and throw my limbs around, but nothing worked. I could sense there were a number of men around me. My screams were muffled only by the sack on my head. Nobody had their hand on my mouth anymore…like it didn’t matter how much I screamed or how loudly. Nobody would be able to rescue me.
I heard the clanking sound of the metal door being slid shut now and the engine revving up. I was being kidnapped! I screamed some more. Afraid of what this was going to do to the little being inside me. I couldn’t stop screaming.
I could hear voices around me. Two men or four or more…I lost count.
The van jerked to a start and somebody pulled the sack off my head.
It was dark inside the back of the van…no windows. But I could now see there was a group of men around me. Way more than I thought I could hear.
I was on the ground, sitting with my hands behind me. Someone was behind me, holding my hands together as they tied a rope around my wrists. I had been struggling all this while but now I stopped because I knew there was no point to it. There were too many of them against me. I was inside a moving dark van. Nobody could hear me. Nobody knew I’d been kidnapped. The back of my throat was chaffed from the screaming.
But the tears still rolled down my cheeks as I looked around the group standing over me. I was shivering as my hands were being tied. I realized as I looked at their faces that I recognized two of them. They were the men who had assaulted me that night. Was this some kind of a twisted vengeance? Why? Because I happened to get away?
“You don’t have to worry about a thing, sweetheart,” one of the men said while I huffed and puffed and tried to catch my breath. They all seemed to have evil looking smirks on their faces. I didn’t believe a word they were saying. I was scared of what they would do to me, what they might do to my baby!
“All you have to do is make sure we get what we want,” the man continued. I shook my head. I had no idea what they were talking about.
“What do you want? I don’t have anything you want!” I spat, half trying to show my anger and half choking up with tears again.
“You have access to the Black Cobras,” the man said. My breasts heaved and fell. That’s what this is about? Some kind of gang war between two Motorcycle Clubs? These were the guys who’d started that shootout at the Pit?
“I don’t work there anymore. I haven’t been in contact with any of them in several months. Please…you have to believe me!” I insisted, trying to do everything I could to not break down in tears.
The men looked at each other and had a twinkle in their eye. I could sense they knew something I didn’t. The man who was speaking to me looked back at me again.
“That’s cute. You don’t have a clue!” he exclaimed, and my heart thudded against my chest. He was right, I didn’t have a clue.
25
Cash
I was lying on my back in the parking lot of the studio. I could feel my warm blood oozing out of the gash on the side of my thigh. I got shot right when I shot at the two motherfuckers who were running in Vivian’s direction.
It all happened in a flash. I thought I had it under control. I’d followed her to the studio. I waited in the car in the carpark, watching the main exit doors for her. I hadn’t noticed anything suspicious all the while I waited for her.
But clearly, they had been watching her too, watching me from a distance out of my range.
The moment Vivian stepped out; the van pulled in front of her. Two other men who had come in on their bikes were now running towards her and I knew exactly what was going to happen next.
I jumped out of my car, running towards them too and I pulled out my gun and shot, but I didn’t see the motherfucker behind me who had shot at me.
It was a clear shot. He could have hit me in the back, puncturing my heart, but instead he got my leg. I buckled and fell down to the ground. I watched in horror as they carried Vivian and threw her in the back of the van. I was shouting for her, but she couldn’t have heard me. Within moments the van had screeched away, and the parking lot was completely empty now.
I hadn’t been able to save her. I’d failed. I shouldn’t even have tried to do this alone!
Somehow, I managed to reach for my phone in the pocket of my jeans and I dialed for Patch. I had no other option but to come clean to the rest of the club now.
* * *
Patch had arrived at the parking lot within twenty minutes of me calling him, and he found me sitting up against the back corner of the building where nobody else would find me. I was still bleeding profusely, barely able to move my legs anymore but the last thing we needed right now was for someone to see me and call the cops or take me to the emergency room.
If there was a chance of us getting Vivian back safe and sound, we would have to leave the cops out of this and obviously—we would have to do this ourselves.
Patch brought me back to the clubhouse where I now saw that Grimm had already called for Church. The rest of the club had assembled there, and all that they seemed to know right now was that I had been attacked by some members of the Sons of Satan. They didn’t have the full picture yet, but it was time that I clued them in on it. I would not be able to rescue Vivian on my own.
Bender was the one in charge of the first aid now and he made me sit in front of the bar counter while he prepared himself for the bullet extraction from my thigh.
It was not a pretty sight, but we were all more or less used to it because it was done pretty often at the clubhouse. Bender had become an expert at it by now; our in-house medical expert.
“You need to hold still,” he growled at me after he had handed me the two shots of tequila, he believed I would need. The others were standing around me and I decided if the conversation needed to be had with them, it needed to be had right now.
“This wasn’t just a random attack, I know exactly why I got shot,” I said while Grimm stared at me in surprise. I hadn’t even given him a chance to officially begin Church. I was too eager to get the truth out of my system.
“This was about Vivian. I knew she was under threat. I’ve been tailing her for nearly three weeks now,” I continued.
“What the fuck…” I heard Patch involuntarily exclaim near me, but I didn’t turn to look at him. Even if the others didn’t actually say it, this was obviously what they were thinking too. Nobody was expecting to hear Vivian’s name again. She’d been missing for over a month now and they all thought she was spooked by the shootout.
“Why have you been tailing her? Why is she in danger?” Grimm growled. I stared at him, meeting his eyes.
“They warned me. They sent a guy to me to warn me they were going to get to her. They want to use her to get to me, to get to us. They’re using her as bait, and I’ve been following her to keep an eye on her. But today, they got her. Took me by surprise. I was outnumbered.”
“You mean they have her now?” Patch asked while the rest of the gang stared at us. I nodded my head.
“They threw her in the back of the truck and drove off. I’m sure we’ll be hearing from them soon,” I’d just about finished saying that when I felt the tweezers go into the wound on my thigh. I clenched down hard as Bender pulled out the bullet from my leg and I tried not to growl in pain.
It was done. The bullet was out, and I was breathing hard through my nose. Grimm had been glaring at me and now he clenched his jaws.
“I guess we have no choice but to rescue her. She’s our responsibility now,” he said.
26
Vivian
I was being held in a dark room which might have been something like an underground cellar. It stank of dampness and I could barely see anything around me.
They had me tied to a bed…which was barely a bed but a metal cot frame. They had forced me to sit up with my wrists tied behind me and the rope tied to the post.
By now I had lost track of how long I’d been in her
e. It could have just been hours, or it could have been days. There was no natural light coming into the room and usually I was alone in the dark with no respite. It was only when one of them came in, that a dim light bulb was switched on somewhere and I could finally see. But there was never anything to really look at other than one of their disgusting scary faces.
I was traumatized and still in shock. I was constantly shivering and cold and imagined I could feel bugs and flies crawling up and down my skin. What was going to happen to my baby? I knew how crucial it was to take care of my own health for the health of the bean growing inside me.
I felt sick all the time, and nobody seemed to care. The only thing any of them had offered me yet was one glass of water. No food, no blanket, no toilet breaks. I was their prisoner and I was being treated like a slave.
I was convinced I was going to die in here and nobody would ever find out. What they wanted from me…it was impossible for me to give them. I had no connection with the Black Cobras anymore, and it wasn’t like the men in that club would actually care about my welfare after all these weeks.
But for some reason, these people seemed to think that I could get them exactly what they wanted. What did they know that I didn’t? Was something going on I wasn’t aware of? Did they somehow find out that I was carrying Cash’s child? Did they think it was suddenly going to make him care about me?
How could they know? Nobody other than Nora knew who the father was…
I was confused and scared and shaking. I didn’t know what was going to happen next but for the sake of my baby I hoped I came out of this alive.
Cash: The Black Cobras MC #2 Page 10