Just Pretend

by R. R. Banks

I walk over and take his coat from him and hang it on the rack next to the door.

  “Thank you,” he says.

  “You're welcome.”

  He starts poking through some of the framed portraits I have lined up on the wall – some of the oils, as well as some of the photographs. He stops and looks up at me, an expression of concern on his face.

  “I'm sorry,” he says. “Do you mind that –”

  I shake my head and smile. “No, not at all,” I say. “Art is meant to be looked at.”

  He gives me a nod and turns back to my work. With his coat off, and him kind of bent over the frames as he picks through them, I can see just how well those nicely-tailored slacks frame and showcase his tight, sculpted ass. Talk about a piece of art that's meant to be looked at.

  I'm so busy staring at his ass and feeling myself grow wet because of it, that it takes me a minute to realize he's looking back at me and had been speaking. I see the devilish smirk on his face a millisecond before my cheeks start to burn, turning what's an unnatural shade of red, I'm sure.

  Thankfully though, Colin has the good grace to not call me out for creeping on his ass. He's probably used to it. Probably gets off on it, come to think of it.

  “Tell me more about these,” he says.

  I clear my throat and walk over. We spend some time talking about some of the subjects of my work. He seems thoroughly impressed by my ability to create art, and even more impressed that I can do it well in two different mediums.

  “Bailey, your work – it's amazing,” he says, sounding genuinely surprised. “Seriously. It's absolutely stunning.”

  “Thank you,” I say, uncomfortable with the praise. “Oh, let me show you some of my new pieces.”

  I lead him into my darkroom, mostly as a distraction from him heaping praise on me. The thing that hits me is how sincere it is. I have some people tell me my work is great and all, but I can tell it's a rote response from them. They're saying it because they think they're expected to say it. With Colin though, I can hear the sincerity in his words. What's more, I think he understands my message – which is good, since he's a member of the demographic I target with my work. But, he genuinely seems to appreciate it – something that warms my heart and excites me.

  He walks around a bit, scrutinizing some of the pictures I have hanging up on the line, and seems impressed. It's then I realize the picture I took of him at the protest is still up. I don't think he's seen it yet, so I move over and quickly pluck it from the line. He turns around and looks at me.

  “What's that a picture of?” he asks.

  “Nothing,” I say. “Didn't really turn out.”

  He grins and tries to reach behind me. I spin to block him, which makes him laugh. I really don't want him to see the picture – I'm afraid he'll think I'm some weird stalker, or that he'll somehow know that I got myself off in this very room looking at that very picture. Like he'll be able to somehow just divine the information out of thin air or something.

  Colin moves one way and I move to block him – only realizing too late that it was a fake move, and he was actually waiting for me to block him, so he could slip around the other side and pluck the picture from my hand,

  I start to protest, but he holds the picture up. “Not a real great shot of me,” he says.

  “It's fi – I didn't realize I'd even snapped it, to be honest.”

  He gives me a smile as he hands it back to me. I clutch the picture, feeling utterly humiliated – like he'd caught me peeking at him in the shower or something. With my face already scorching hot, it's only then I realize just how close he's standing to me. My darkroom isn't all that big to start with but feeling his presence so close to me makes it seem even smaller than it really is.

  And that's the best way I can describe Colin – he has this presence about him. He displaces the atmosphere in ways most people don't. Standing so close to him is like what I imagine standing at the edge of a black hole must be like – you're inexplicably drawn to it. Into him.

  I turn my face up and see his crystalline eyes focused on me. Not even the red light of the darkroom is enough to strip away the sheer breathtaking quality of those eyes. They make my heart skip a beat – or twelve. In his face, I see such longing. A yearning.

  He reaches out and strokes my cheek with his fingertips, sending a bolt of white-hot electricity from my head straight down to my lower belly. My whole body tingles with the sensation, and every nerve ending crackles with it.

  When Colin leans down and presses his lips to mine, I swear, all of the air in the room is suddenly sucked out. I feel completely breathless, and my head is swimming. As his tongue slips into my mouth and twirls around mine, I swear fireballs are exploding in the darkness behind my closed eyes.

  He grabs me by the waist and pulls me to him, pressing his body hard against mine. I run my hands up his chest, feeling the solid, corded muscle beneath the shirt.

  Our kiss grows hotter and filled with more fire, and I quickly start to unbutton his shirt. I’ve never felt this much desire before – I need to feel his skin on mine. I slip my hands inside and move my hands down the hard angles and planes of his chest and abs. His skin is smooth and warm.

  Colin pulls back and looks at me, and the craving I see in his eyes for me makes my legs go weak, and they almost give out beneath me. He steadies me on my feet, then grabs hold of my ponytail, pulling my head back roughly. A soft moan escapes my lips as he kisses my neck, nipping at the skin. His one hand still pulling my hair, I feel his other hand squeezing and cupping my breast. He pinches a hard nipple through the fabric, drawing a soft whimper from me.

  I reach down and touch Colin through his slacks. I grip his cock, squeezing it through his pants. He's long, and thick – and incredibly hard for me already. I have no idea how he is supposed to fit inside of me. I stroke him through his pants, hearing him draw in a sharp breath as I do.

  Colin pushes me back a couple of steps until the small of my back is pressed against my worktable. He pulls my sweatshirt off over my head and tosses it to the side, quickly disposing of my bra. The second his mouth hits my nipple, it feels like something explodes inside of me. He licks and sucks on it, pinching the other one with his hand. I run my fingers through his hair, losing myself in the sensations that are rocking my body.

  Needing to feel him in my hand, I quickly unzip Colin's slacks, reaching inside his boxers, and pulling his cock out. He's so long and thick, part of me worries that I won't be able to fit him inside of me. I'm determined to try, though.

  Colin grabs me roughly by the shoulders and kisses me hard. I love how it feels for him to grab me so forcefully. Taking what he wants from me. It's just like in my fantasy from the other day – I feel myself giving up all my control to him and the mere thought of it only makes me hotter. I want him to take control. To use me like he wants. I'm tired of always being strong, and keeping such a tight grip on everything. I want somebody else to take charge for a change.

  And he does.

  Putting his hands on my shoulders, Colin forces me down to my knees. I know what he wants, but I want to hear him say it. I look up at him, pinning him with my gaze.

  “Tell me,” I say. “Tell me what you want.”

  “I want your mouth on me,” he growls.

  His voice is gruff and commanding and sets me ablaze with desire. Colin reaches down and grips my ponytail, pulling my head back. The hunger in his eyes is intoxicating. I grip the base of his cock, squeezing it hard, and draw a gasp from him. He steps forward and runs the head of his cock around my lips.

  A salacious grin touches his lips as I run the tip of my tongue all around the head of his cock, teasing the sensitive underside of it. Never breaking eye contact with him, I lean forward and slide his hard erection into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it as I take as much of him in as I can.

  When I tighten my lips around him and start to move my mouth up and down on him, Colin draws in a sharp breath. There’s a look of absolute rapt
ure on his face as I start bobbing my head up and down. Instinctively, I wrap my fingers around the base of his shaft and stroke him in unison with my mouth.

  “Fuck, Bailey,” he moans. “I need you. I can’t wait to be inside of you.”

  I stand up, taking his hand in mine and leading him over to the small, dingy couch I have set up in the corner of the room. Colin pushes down my leggings and sits me down on the edge of it, a mischievous sparkle in his eye as he kneels down before me. I’m staring up nervously at the exposed beams of the studio as he parts my thighs.

  I can’t believe this is happening. Goodbye, virginity.

  His beard feels scratchy against my delicate skin, tickling me, but the moment his tongue hits my clit, I feel like a bomb has been detonated in my most intimate parts. A line of fire shoots from the warm, wet center of me and straight into my heart and brain, and back again.

  My entire body feels electric as he runs his tongue along my wet, swollen lips. Colin takes my clit into his mouth, sucking gently on it at first. He gently nips it with his teeth, then rolls it around his tongue. I gasp, feeling like I can't catch my breath as my body trembles and shakes.

  He buries his tongue deep inside me as he uses his fingers to massage my clit. The double dose of pleasure fills me up, and I feel myself hurtling toward an orgasm at a record pace. Colin licks me up and down, moaning as if I'm the best thing he's ever tasted. The rumble of his voice coupled with the warmth of his breath on my most sensitive parts, sends shockwaves of ecstasy coursing through me.

  “Colin... Oh my god...” I gasp.

  I cry out, gripping the cushion as I writhe beneath him. When he spreads me open and slides his tongue deep inside, I press my head back against the couch and whimper. I feel completely out of control, as I grip his hair, pulling it hard and pushing his head down further into me. He takes the hint and starts to lick me with even more zeal than before, touching off explosions of sensation inside of me.

  My eyes grow wide and I open my mouth, a strangled scream bubbling up from my throat when he adds two fingers to his tongue, all of them working inside of me in unison. He drives his fingers in deep as he takes my clit into his mouth, gently nipping and sucking on it. He moves his fingers in and out of me, sucking harder on my clit, driving me ever closer to the edge.

  My belly grows tight, and my entire body becomes taut as he works his fingers and mouth in a perfect erotic symphony, playing my most intimate parts like a maestro. I start to tremble as the pressure in me rises, my breath growing desperate and ragged. I can’t wait to feel him inside me.

  “Colin, yes,” I cry.

  I grip his hair even harder, grinding my pussy against him, taking his fingers ever deeper. He responds, using his hand and his mouth in ways I never knew were possible. He brings me to the pinnacle, and then with a flick of his tongue, sends me toppling over the edge.

  My stomach lurches and I fall into a chasm of sheer ecstasy. I thrash on the couch, crying out, my body arching up, feeling like my skin is on fire. I call his name over and over, as my orgasm tears through me.

  Slowly, the grip of my orgasm loosens, and I lay there quivering, whimpering, but feeling absolutely amazing. I sit up as Colin looks at me. His beard glistens with my juices, and he runs the tip of his tongue around his lips, as if savoring every last drop of me.

  “I can’t wait any more,” he growls. “I need you.”

  He turns me around and bends me over the couch.

  I'm starting to feel self-conscious as he gets behind me. Should I tell him this is my first time? I hear the rustle of plastic, and when I turn and look at him over my shoulder, I see him tearing a condom wrapper open. He gives me a roguish grin and pushes me back down, so my belly is flat on the couch.

  A moment later, my eyes grow wide, and I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. Not even having three fingers inside of me could have prepared me for what his cock feels like as he slowly penetrates me. Colin grabs hold of my hair and pulls my head back as he drives his cock deep into my pussy. He fills me up completely as he stretches me open, a sharp pinch of pain melding perfectly with the pleasure that has my body humming with an electrical current.

  Colin is gripping my hair and pulling my head back as he starts to slowly and rhythmically thrust himself into me. Every thrust hits a spot deep within me that sets off a tiny, but powerful explosion of pleasure inside of me. My body is quivering, and I'm gasping for breath, but the pleasure rocking me is unlike anything I've ever felt before. It's as intense as it is amazing.

  He drives himself into me again and again, driving me to the absolute brink of sanity. The sensations gripping my body make me feel like I'm balancing right on the edge between hyperventilating and passing out. As he plunges his glorious cock deep inside of me, I cry out. I call his name, and I hear him grunting, feel his body stiffening behind me.

  I push myself back against him, taking him as deep as possible, and the muscles inside of me tighten even further, making my pussy feel impossibly tight around his cock. Colin cries out and I feel him start to shake, and his cock pulsing in the condom inside of me.

  Feeling him coming inside of me sets off another orgasm within me. My climax hits me out of the blue, and though it’s not as intense as the last one, it’s still enough to cause me to dig my nails into the couch as my body tightens and shudders.

  I tremble beneath him as Colin keeps me pinned to the couch, his cock deep inside of me, the condom filled with his come.

  Slowly, the ecstasy recedes, and Colin slips his now-soft cock out of me. He drops the condom in the trash can near my worktable as I stand up and pull my leggings up, and grab my sweatshirt, slipping it back on over my head. Although the initial bliss has worn off, I still feel warm and sexy, if a little bit sore. I walk over to him as he finishes buttoning his shirt and nuzzle up against him.

  He kisses me on the forehead, but I feel the stiffness and tension in his body. He doesn't say a word as he tucks his shirt back into his slacks, and zips up. He won't even meet my eyes.

  'You okay?” I ask.

  He nods, but still looks away from me. “Yeah. Fine,” he says. “I'm fine.”

  He's acting strangely all of the sudden, and I don't know why. What we did – what we just shared – was amazing. It felt incredible. I can’t believe it happened, honestly. But now he’s acting like we did something wrong. There's an awkward moment of silence as we stand there, staring at one another, the chasm standing between us wider than it's ever been.

  “I – I should probably go,” he says quickly.

  “Oh, so that’s how it is?” I ask, planting my hands on my hips.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You get your rocks off, and now you're just going to bail?” I almost shout. “You just use me, and now you're going to throw me away like a piece of trash?”

  Most girls would probably be crying at this point. Not me. I'm just pissed. I gave myself to him willingly, and I don't regret it. But now, he's acting like I'm going to be some crazy, clingy girl with a crush or something.

  “That's not how it is, Bailey,” he says. “That's not it at all.”

  “Then what is it?” I ask. “Explain it to me, because that's what it feels like.”

  He runs a hand through his hair and looks at me awkwardly, as if trying to find the right excuse that will let him off the hook. Maybe this is all he wanted. He just wanted a quick screw – maybe with one of the poor so he knew what it felt like. Maybe, fucking me made him feel all-powerful or something. I don't know.

  All I do know, is that the longer he stands there, saying nothing, obviously trying to find some spin or excuse to mollify me, the more pissed I'm getting.

  “You know what?” I say. “Get the hell out.”

  “Bailey –”

  “No, it was great. I had a good time. Thanks for making me come twice, I appreciate it,” I say. “We both got something out of it, so let's just say we're good, and call it a day.”

  “It's not like –
”

  “I said get out of my studio,” I say, my voice low and tight with anger.

  “Bailey –”

  “Get out!” I scream. “Get the fuck out of here!”

  Colin looks at me for a moment longer, then slowly turns and leaves my studio. When I hear the door close behind him, I grab a small jar, and hurl it against the wall. The sound of shattering glass, and the feel of destroying something, is satisfying for a moment – only for a moment though.

  But, just like the rest of my life, I'm stuck cleaning up that mess in the end.

  Colin

  I sign the contracts, tucking them back into the folder, and silently handing the folder over to Maureen.

  “Are you okay, Mr. Anderson?” she asks.

  I look up, and see the concern in her eyes. “Yeah, I'm fine,” I say. “Just tired, I guess.”

  She nods, though I can tell by the expression on her face that she's not necessarily buying it. Instead of leaving, she surprises me by perching herself on the edge of the seat across the desk from me. It's unusual for her, though not completely unprecedented. In addition to her outstanding work in the office, Maureen has become my unofficial mother-figure, and never hesitates to dish out motherly advice.

  “That girl who was here the other day –”

  “Just a friend,” I say, cutting her off. “Though, I don't know that I'd even call her that anymore.”

  Maureen looks at me evenly. She's sharp, and always seems to know when I'm not giving it to her straight. And I can tell she's onto me because she has a small frown and slightly disapproving expression on her face.

  “I was only curious because the other day when she was in here, you looked at her like you were in love.”

  “What?” I laugh. “You've gone and lost it now, Maureen.”

  “Have I?” she asks, arching one of her eyebrows at me.

  “Yes, you have.”

  She looks at me long and hard, her eyes boring into me. Maureen has an uncanny ability to read people, and I really should know better than to try and sneak one by her. Maureen knows and sees all. Maybe, one of these days, I'll learn that lesson.