Renegade

by Lora Leigh

  Within Nik she had found emotions he'd never wanted to feel again. Emotions he feared could well and truly destroy him.

  "I want to head to D.C., see if we can get in to see Holbrook," he stated as he took the I-70 interstate exit. "Foreman had to have been in close contact with him if he had his home number."

  "Holbrook Construction doesn't have the reputation Nelson does, either," Mikayla mused as he glanced at her. "There's been several charges leveled against him for attempting to sabotage other jobs, bribing employees of other firms, and finding ways to force companies out of their contracts so he could pick them up. Nothing was proven, but the accusations are there."

  "Then he could have been bribing Eddie Foreman," Nik guessed.

  "Which gives Maddix Nelson a perfect motive for murder," she concluded sweetly.

  Nik grimaced. He couldn't argue the point; if he didn't know Maddix, he would be at the top of Nik's suspect list. Hell, if he didn't know Maddix, then he would have been investigating everyone supposedly at that meeting.

  When had he begun allowing personal associations to interfere with his job? Nik asked himself as he made a mental note to put Kira and Bailey on the chief of police and two council members. As Mikayla stated, Maddix had the perfect motive and his friends had some damned good reasons to lie for him. They were in bed with him where business was concerned, and that often made for damned fine alibis.

  "If Maddix killed Eddie Foreman, then the best way to prove it is to follow the 151

  evidence trail," Nik told Mikayla. "It will lead us where we need to go. We'll talk to Holbrook, see what happens there; then I want to check Jarvis Dalton's alibi. He was lying; I'm just not sure what he was lying about."

  "I don't think Jarvis is smart enough to pull off a murder, even one that simple." She shook her head before turning hurt eyes on Nik. "But Nik, I saw what happened. I saw Eddie die. I saw who killed him. Why can't you believe me?"

  "It's not a matter of belief, Mikayla," he breathed out heavily. "It's a matter of evidence. But you're right: Maddix may have a hell of a motive. One thing is for damned sure. If he did it, I'll find out. And I'll make sure he pays for it."

  "How could he not have done it?"

  Nik shook his head. "Trust me, amazing things can be done with makeup and latex now. I know. Everyone knew you were coming to pick up Scotty. Anyone could have been waiting for an opportunity to kill Eddie and place the blame on Maddix." He held his hand up. "I'm not saying they did. I'm saying it's possible. I'll have Maddix checked out deeper, as well as his friends and neighbors. I won't overlook him. I'm following rumor and evidence at this point, which has to be done no matter who killed him."

  "There were no attempts to kill me when no one believed me," she stated soberly.

  "The first attempt came after you began investigating me." He nodded. He knew that, and it enraged him. The thought of one of those bullets actually striking her fragile body was enough to send terror racing through him. The world couldn't bear to lose Mikayla, he thought. Too many fairies had already been destroyed.

  Hell, he couldn't keep thinking this way. She wasn't a fucking fairy; she was a tiny, independent, too-trusting woman, not some mythological creature of innocence. That's what his head said; other parts of him, such as his heart, his soul, were saying something entirely different. Mikayla was the epitome of everything a woman shouldn't be in this day and age. Innocent, sweet, trusting, caring. Her very nature was going to end up getting her destroyed, and he was terrified there wasn't a damned thing he could do to stop it.

  "Nik?" she interrupted his musings softly. "You didn't answer me. Why else would anyone try to kill me if it isn't Maddix?"

  "Why would Maddix hire me if he didn't want the truth learned?" Nik countered.

  "I can't overlook that one, Mikayla. Maddix knows what I am, what I'm capable of, and he knows if he killed Eddie, then I'll find out. And he'll suffer." It was a warning he'd already given the other man. It was a warning he would follow through with.

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  Chapter 16

  Reed Holbrook refused to see them and Jarvis Dalton's alibi was a lie. Mikayla watched Nik as the day progressed into evening and they returned to the house. Not long after Bailey and Kira arrived for measurements and the final decisions on the dresses they wanted. This only delayed Mikayla's chance to figure out his attitude. He was stone cold. So cold, so icy, that the chill enveloped her and left her wishing she'd worn a jacket, despite the summer air.

  From the moment he had made his statement concerning Maddix Nelson, Nik had only grown colder. She was walking in her home with Frosty the frickin' Snowman. She stood in the foyer after his friends left, watching him silently as he watched her from the kitchen. She was tired. The drive to and from D.C. had been filled with enough tension to thicken the air and make breathing seem like work. Bailey and Kira's concerned curiosity while they were here hadn't helped matters in the least. The colder Nik became, the more it hurt. He was blocking her out, distancing himself from her. It felt like a breakup, except she'd given Nik far more than she had ever given another man. And it wasn't a breakup, because he was still here, tormenting her with his presence and the remembered feel of his hands against her flesh. The warmth of his body shielding her own.

  What happened? The need to ask, to demand an explanation, was on the tip of her tongue, but the words wouldn't fall from her lips.

  He was, at this moment, completely unapproachable.

  "I'm going to shower."

  She had to get away from him before she made a fool of herself. Before she demanded answers she had no right to demand. Before she cried, where she had no right to cry.

  She had walked into this with her eyes wide open. He had warned her he couldn't love her, and she had promised herself she wouldn't love him. As the hot water from the shower washed over her body, she reminded herself of that promise. She wasn't in love with him, she told herself. But if she wasn't in love, then why the hell did it hurt so bad? Why did her chest feel tight, her body heavy from the ache inside?

  She leaned her head against the wall of the shower and fought back the tears. Two nights he'd spent apart from her, and she missed him to the point that sleep had been almost impossible the night before. She could feel another such night coming on. She'd never imagined it could be so easy to get used to a man sleeping in the bed with her. She'd slept alone all her life. But sleeping with Nik had seemed as natural as breathing. And she missed him.

  Sniffing back the tears that would have fallen, Mikayla finished her shower, dried her body and her hair before dressing in summer cotton lounging pants and a loose, sleeveless T-shirt.

  Moving into the kitchen, she paused at the doorway, watching as Nik pulled out 153

  the casserole she'd put in the oven that morning and set the oven's timer back on. It was still warm; the cheese, hamburger, and macaroni casserole scented the air and reminded Mikayla that they had eaten very little that day. Within minutes they were sitting apart from each other, still silent, as they ate. The tension was only growing between them. It wasn't an angry tension, but one thick enough to cut with a knife. Secrets shrouded it; silence intensified it. It was a silence that wore on Mikayla's nerves and left her struggling to hold back the resentment she could feel growing inside her.

  "What do we do next?" she finally asked as he sat back from his meal and appeared ready to leave the table.

  His gaze flicked back to her, and what she saw in those few seconds rocked her to her soul.

  The ice was there, but beneath it lurked a bleak sorrow, a dark agony that had her chest clenching in pain for him. As though the silent battle between them was touching shadows inside him that he had no desire to revisit.

  The deaths of his wife and child? Mikayla wondered.

  Had something renewed that nightmare inside him and left him remembering the pain he must have felt at their loss?

  "Next we see about revisiting Jarvis and politely inquiring as to why his alibi didn't hold up.
Then I'll need to see why Reed Holbrook preferred not to speak with us." There was a flash of predatory determination in Nik's gaze that sent a shiver up her spine. And she hadn't missed the adjustment from "we" to "I." He had no intention of taking her with him when he discussed this with Reed.

  Mikayla could only shake her head. "I understand your reason for following the trail as you are, but you're not mentioning what part Maddix may have played in this."

  "For the sake of argument we'll say Maddix did it." Nik leaned forward as he stared back at her implacably. "Right now, he's getting away with it. His alibi is solid. If you want to break that alibi, you follow the trail. It's that simple."

  "Then there's a chance he killed Eddie because Eddie was working with Reed Holbrook?"

  "And the fact that Reed is refusing point-blank to speak to us tells me there's a chance he has something to hide. It's beginning to appear as though that something could be the fact that he was paying Eddie Foreman to sabotage the job." Mikayla stared back at Nik thoughtfully. "I think I remember something in the paper last year. There were several delays on the job because the foundation of the building had to be redone when the building inspector found a crack in the cement. I heard Maddix fired the entire cement crew when that happened." Nik nodded. "We follow the trail and see where it goes."

  "But you still don't think it's going to go back to Maddix," she guessed. Nik shot her an irritated look before propping his arms on the table and staring back at her. "Mikayla, I believe you think you saw Maddix. I truly do. But Maddix Nelson is not a stupid man. He knew when he hired me I'd get to the bottom of this. He laid down a hell of a lot of money to ensure that I did. So no, I don't think he did it."

  "Maybe he's smarter than you're giving him credit for," she suggested, trying to ignore the twinge of hurt the explanation sent rushing through her. "Maybe he knew what you'd do and he's planned for it."

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  Nik shrugged at that. "That's always possible. Not likely, but possible." The smile that crossed his lips had nothing to do with amusement and much to do with potential lethal intent.

  It still left Mikayla confused. Personally, she thought questioning Maddix until he broke was a good idea. It worked on CSI, right? Though she knew it wouldn't work on Maddix, at least she would gain a measure of satisfaction.

  "I need to take care of some things." Nik rose from his chair, pushed it in carefully, and stared back at her. "I'll be in the guest room working." In other words, he intended to use work as an excuse not to sleep with her. Mikayla watched as he left the room before rising and cleaning the dishes silently. She felt off balance now, uncertain what to do. She wanted to touch him, to hold him, to ease the bleak pain from the far corners of his gaze, but she had no idea how to do it. That left her alone, and she'd never realized how lonely alone could be until now. Nik was on the verge of throwing something. It had been almost a decade since he'd put his fist through a wall, but the urge to do so now crawled through his system like a potent disease.

  Distancing himself from Mikayla was killing him and hurting her. But that distance was all that was left to save his soul when this was over. Walking away from her would be impossible otherwise. Staying with her would only endanger her, and he couldn't face that, either.

  He paced the small bedroom, his gaze rarely falling on the open laptop and the files he had pulled up earlier, before showering. Information on Reed Holbrook, Jarvis Dalton, Eddie Foreman, and Maddix Nelson were waiting for Nik's perusal. He already suspected Eddie Foreman had been either stealing materials and substituting inferior grade or deliberately sabotaging the job for Reed Holbrook. Either way, as Maddix's current foreman had stated, it was a recipe guaranteed to fuel Maddix's temper but not enough to cause him to kill.

  As he paced to the window and the heavy shades that blocked the view of the backyard, the cell phone at his hip vibrated.

  Nik grabbed it like a lifeline, desperate to find something, anything, to keep him from crawling over Mikayla like a wild animal in need.

  "Hey there, sexy," Kira drawled.

  Nik heard her husband in the background, former Navy SEAL Ian Richards, laughingly protesting.

  "What did they find?" Nik wasn't interested in their byplay; he was interested in Ian and John's secretive visit to the Foreman home. Frankly, tonight Nik couldn't handle it. It reminded him too damned much of what he didn't have with Mikayla. Kira and Bailey's earlier visit had been strained. They had sensed the tension between him and Mikayla and he knew it. Questions were coming. They were questions he didn't want to ask.

  "Interesting stuff," Kira stated. "Ian and John just got back from the Foreman home. Mixed in the mess of a filing system the man had was the blueprint of the job site he was killed on. There were some distinct X's marked on it. Ian said they were particular weak spots. Places where the foundation and skeleton would have to be strengthened by using specific materials. One of those locations was of the foundation that last year Nelson had to completely replace when the inspector found a crack forming in the 155

  cement. There were also vague notes that could have been referencing where lesser-grade materials were used in other areas. Ian and John's assessment is that he was deliberately sabotaging the building, and I agree with them."

  Nik raked his fingers through his hair with a tight grimace. Evidence was mounting against Maddix, which meant Nik was going to be making another trip to talk to him. Unfortunately, this time Nik had a feeling he'd be taking Mikayla with him. Hardheaded damned stubborn woman, he thought, she was going to be the death of him.

  "Ian did a little research into Maddix," Kira continued. "He has a temper, and he and Eddie Foreman had gone head-to-head before, but Eddie was pissing a lot of people off before he died."

  "He's pissing me off now," Nik growled.

  "Maddix's alibi is solid from the reports you sent me and the follow-up Ian did today," Kira informed him. "Robert Cronin checked out as well, but the information he gave hasn't yet been confirmed by any of our contacts, though it is early for information there to be coming in. If Maddix was involved with the underground gambling world, then we'll know soon. Eddie Foreman was involved, though, even our contacts knew him, and they didn't like him any more than anyone else did. He owed everyone money."

  "Mikayla's certain it was Maddix; that means we're looking for someone attempting to frame him for whatever reason. Let's go deeper into Eddie and Maddix's past, see what we can find out," Nik suggested.

  "Tehya's already suggested that and is moving on it," Kira assured him.

  "Tell her to put a rush on it," he sighed. "The next time the bastard shoots at Mikayla, it just might be fatal."

  "She's an interesting young woman," Kira said softly. "I'm a damned good judge of character. Not once this evening did she even attempt to discuss you or whatever problems the two of you are having. She did a good job of hiding it as well, even as tired as she was. You have a treasure there, my friend."

  "Don't start, Kira," Nik breathed out roughly.

  "And it looked to me like you're becoming pretty involved." Her voice softened.

  "Are you going to break her heart, Nik?"

  Was he? As far as he was concerned, there was no way around it, unless she wasn't in love with him. And he knew better. She wasn't clingy, whiny, or possessive, so far, but she was in love.

  "If you have no more information, Kira, then I have to go," he told her without answering her question. "Let me know if Ian learns anything more."

  "I'll be sure to, Nik." Her voice held that gentle, sympathetic tone that she reserved for animals and morons. He could only imagine which one she was thinking of. Disconnecting, he laid his cell phone on the bedside table before rubbing at the back of his neck as he fought the irritation, the arousal that only grew inside him. He could almost feel Mikayla's soft skin against his hands, his fingers flexing at the memory of the warmth of her, the snug heat of her pussy enveloping his dick. He was as hard as iron. He had been as hard as iron all day. His d
amned dick was going to end up getting him into the type of trouble that he didn't want to deal with. The type that would end up with him back in Mikayla's bed, and in a hell of a lot of trouble for both of them.

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  He paced the bedroom like a caged tiger, that hunger eating at him from the inside out as he fought the need to go to her, to ease the hurt and the confusion from her pretty eyes.

  She was softening him; he could feel it, and he hated it. Softening meant looking at himself, seeing the shadows he knew existed inside his own soul. Remembering when he didn't want to remember.

  "Nik?" A soft knock, Mikayla's low voice, and his senses seemed to go into overdrive.

  The door opened slowly.

  She stood there, long blond hair flowing around her, while amethyst eyes stared back at him with innocent hunger. She had changed from the lounging pants to a robe, and if he wasn't sorely mistaken, she was naked beneath it.

  "Are you coming to bed?" Soft as a whisper, like fairy wings, her need reached out to stroke against his senses. "I miss you against me, Nik."

  "Mikayla," he sighed her name. He should tell her no, he should walk away now. So why wasn't he?

  "Is it over so soon?" she asked him then, a hint of painful knowledge filling her gaze. "I didn't expect that."

  "You don't want me tonight, Mikayla." He shook his head wearily.

  "Why don't I?" she asked softly. "I've wanted you since the moment I saw you. Why would that change?"

  The bleak despair she had sensed earlier shadowed his gaze once more.

  "So fucking innocent." He felt like an animal, the need for her burning through his veins. "You have no idea the things I could ask for." Nik was dying, fighting to hold back. She had no idea how hard holding back truly was.

  A spark of anger should have lit her eyes rather than that spark of need that went beyond hunger or lust. That glimmer of something deep, something that pierced his soul and left him aching to lose himself in her silken embrace.