To Hell in a Coach Bag

by M. J. Schiller

  "Dani? Are you ready?"

  Everyone else stood. "Oh, yes." I offered my hand to the lawyer. "Thank you, Mr. Kelly. And thank you for encouraging my dad to update his will before the surgery. Having this letter... Well, it means a lot."

  The gruff man looked like he was terrified I would fall apart on him, but bravely offered, "Yes. I am sorry for your loss, m'dear."

  "Thank you."

  We left his office and huddled in the hallway. "So, what now, Dani? Are you heading home?" Becca asked.

  "I don't know. Probably. I guess I'll discuss it with the girls and see what they want to do...."

  "Well, we understand if you need to get back to Tabitha. But if you decide to stick around, please let us know. I'm sure between the three of us, we could put you all up in our homes so you wouldn't have to pay for another night's stay."

  "I, for one, would be happy to bed Samantha," Don piped up. I could see the other men agree silently. I was closest, so I punched Don, and we all laughed and exchanged hugs.

  "Call me," Becca said softly as she gave me a squeeze.

  It was strange, but all this brought the four of us closer. The need to seek comfort in each other, and the sharing of memories and a common pain. It was difficult being the one who lived away from them, and I could see in their faces they recognized that.

  My gaze moved over them. "I love you guys."

  Don placed a hand on my shoulder. "Us, too, sis. And I'm going to miss Sam." I knew he was trying to lighten the moment, so I elbowed him before giving him one last squeeze. "Aren't you coming with us out to the parking lot?" he asked.

  "No. I think I want to read this first." He hesitated. "It's okay. I'll be fine. Go on."

  When they left, I searched for a place to open my letter in privacy. I figured in the big Victorian house that served as Archibald Kelly's office I'd be able to find some niche to hide away in. I ducked into a stairwell that seemed had been the servants' at one point. Dust indicated it wasn't used often, so I sat on the steps and, with shaking hands, unfolded the pages and spread them out on my lap.

  Seeing the print again gripped my heart, and I took in a ragged breath. The way he formed his w's and m's was as much him as his voice. I could almost see his big, soft hands as they held the Bic pen, because I was certain that would have been what he used. I thought about how he might have stuck his tongue out as he concentrated on a particularly difficult part. It was a habit all of us inherited. With a sigh, I pushed those thoughts away and began to read the words he wrote to me.

  My dearest Dani-girl... He often sang "Danny Boy" to me, switching the words to suit him. But never again, I mourned.

  I'm writing this at Mr. Kelly's request and, if you are reading it, it was for the best. But this is to be my rough draft for the talk I plan to have with you when you and Tabby come for spring break. Honey, I want to share with you something I've learned along the way, something I think would benefit you specifically.

  You know, of course, how much I adored your mother. You were kind enough to give me space to heal when she passed. But you also encouraged me to move on and start seeing other people. I never took your advice, and that was a mistake. It is now my turn to offer you the same advice, and I pray you take it.

  I know what you're facing, baby girl, 'cause I've been there before you. You are frightened. You are frightened of letting go of that strong protection you built for yourself after you lost Darren, and I understand that. But I know, if you had it all to do over again, you would have gladly chosen to go through the pain you did when you lost him, for even one of those special days with Darren.

  There's someone out there, Dani. Someone you can have special days with again. I feel it in my bones. God did not create you to hide that heart of yours away forever. You need to take a chance on love again, Dani. For you, and for Tabby's sake. Might you lose that again? I can't promise that you won't. But I can promise you that whatever pain you go through will be worth it, because you will have that person to treasure in your heart always, like Darren.

  I feel like such a hypocrite, because I was never brave enough to do this myself. But I know you are a stronger person than I am, Dani. And you are younger, so it is more important that you take the chance and make the rest of your life as full as possible. You know, it was easier for me to do things this way. I don't know how I'm ever going to look into those beautiful blue eyes of yours and see the pain I know you try to hide, and tell you to try again. But, somehow, I will find the strength to do it. Because you need to hear it, and I love you.

  I guess that's the second thing I want you to know... how much I love you. But you already know that, don't you, Dani-girl?

  -D

  I sat in the stairwell, light flooding in from the window on the landing behind me. My cheeks were wet with tears. How strange he knew me so well that he actually predicted the situation I was now in.

  "I love you, too, Daddy," I whispered. I folded the letter and tucked it safely away. I knew he was right. Walking away from Tucker was taking the easy way out, and that seldom produced worthwhile results. I had to fix this.

  I ran out of the building, my heels making loud echoes along the narrow, hardwood hallways, but I didn't care. When I stepped out on the porch, my faithful trio waited in the Caddie. I bolted for the car, and at the last minute catapulted myself into the back like a TV show detective chasing the bad guy.

  "What's up?" all of the girls asked at once.

  "We have to get back to the hotel. I have to see Tucker before he leaves."

  "Now someone's talking sense," Maxine cried and started the engine with a smile. "Well, get your ass in here, Alex. What the hell are you waiting for? An engraved invitation?" Alex scurried around to the passenger's side and climbed in.

  Chapter 36

  Danielle

  Max seemed to be into her role of getaway driver, of sorts—or maybe it was a get-there driver. In any case, she squealed the tires as we left the parking lot and proceeded through a bunch of intersections that were definitely very yellow, bordering on orange. About five blocks from our hotel, a sudden spring shower burst out, despite the bright sun. We screamed and laughed as Maxi pressed the button to close the top, but by the time it covered us, we were drenched. When we got to the resort, Max swung the car to the curb like a stunt driver and shouted, "Go get our boy, Dani!"

  With a grin, I got out and rushed to his room. I banged on the door. "Tucker! Tucker! Open up!" As I waited, I was almost giddy. I glanced at my feet. Although I stood underneath the overhang of the roofline where the concrete was dry, my clothes were dripping so badly a puddle had begun to form. I laughed, taking in the way my black pants and the white tank and long-sleeved sheer blouse I wore over it clung to me and made everything appear three sizes too big. When he opened the door, I raised my head and brushed my wet hair away from my face. Then, I jumped back.

  In front of me was a nice-looking guy in jeans and a T-shirt, but it wasn't Tucker.

  He set a hand above his head on the doorjamb. "Well, hi, there. Looks like you got caught out in that rain shower." He was about Tucker's height with curly red-brown hair.

  "Oh. I... I'm sorry. I thought a friend was here." I tried to push away the wave of disappointment, but with a sudden whoosh, it rose and spilled over the damn. He was gone. Tucker checked out. I missed him, and I had no way of getting in touch with him to tell him I was sorry... and I was ready to try again. I put a hand over my stomach and took a few steps away from him.

  "No problem. Hey, are you okay?" His green eyes showed concern.

  I moved my hand to my mouth to muffle the sob that was coming and turned to run blindly down the corridor.

  "Hey, wait. Wait, there, hon." Since I was slowed by my wet clothes, he caught me quickly and grabbed my arm. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong," he said gently, his gaze searching my face.

  I tried to get a grip on myself to minimize what had become a very embarrassing situation. "I-I'm sorry," I mumbled, dropping my eyes
.

  "Well, I'm not, gorgeous." He smiled. "The loser who took off without you did me a huge favor." He grinned at me, and I couldn't help but laugh a little. He rubbed my arm. "There, that's better. Would you like to come inside and talk for a while?" I shook my head, but before I could respond, he added, "I won't make any moves on you, Scouts honor." He held up two fingers.

  I laughed again and peered at him. He had an easy way about him. "I don't even know if you were a Scout."

  This time he laughed. "Sense of humor, too. Whoever the guy is, he made a huge mistake."

  "No. It was me. I made the mistake. Listen. I'm sorry I interrupted your morning—or is it afternoon? Whatever—"

  He took a wayward hair and brushed it off my face. "Are you sure? Maybe it really wasn't a mistake. Maybe it was Fate."

  I looked him straight in the eye. "I'm sure."

  He sighed and glanced down before raising his head to squint at me. "Can I at least know the name of the angel I'll be dreaming about tonight?"

  I held out my hand with a smile. "I'm Danielle. Dani."

  "Well, Dani," he rubbed his finger over the top of my hand, "good luck." He dropped my hand, and I turned and found the staircase to the courtyard. Alex, Sam, and Max stood waiting. It was obvious they caught at least part of the exchange. We all glanced up as my would-be suitor leaned with his hands on the balcony rail, looking at us.

  "Come on. Let's get out of here," I murmured. Sam put her arm around me, and Max and Alex followed in our wake.

  "How is it they get all the luck?" Maxine grumbled behind us.

  "Oh, come on, Maxi," Sam said sympathetically, and held out her other arm to the boss. We walked in line to the parking lot, modern day Monkees. The car was packed. We knew we couldn't afford to stay at the resort another night. All that remained was for us to decide what our next destination was. I leaned against the car, and we all formed a circle.

  "Well." I sighed. "What do you ladies want to do? It's your spring break, and we've driven all the way out here."

  They exchanged looks and shrugged.

  "I for one would like to get home to Tabby, but I can hold out the rest of the week if you want. We can sightsee or travel somewhere else if you want."

  Max peered at the others. "I wouldn't mind going home. Todd sounded almost... interested, when I called the other night."

  We all laughed.

  "Well, I'm in no mood to travel," Sam threw in. "I'd just as soon go home, too."

  "What about you, Alex? I know you were kind of looking forward to a break from home for a while," I asked cautiously.

  "Yeah. But I'd like to get home before Chris leaves for Fond du Lac. He may have a job," she announced with a smile.

  "That's great."

  "Now, hold on a cotton-pickin' minute," Maxine yelled. She stepped forward and took Alex by the shoulders. "You're not leaving us, are you?"

  "No," Alex said. She shook her head adamantly. "Not yet, anyway. Chris is going to commute on weekends. At least he's gonna give it a try. We'll have to see how it works out."

  "Well, then. Congratulations." Max nodded once. She seemed satisfied that she wasn't losing an employee just yet. "Let's hit the road then." We all piled into the Cadillac. "Do you want to stop by your sister's to say goodbye?"

  I thought about it. "No. Let's get going. I pretty much said goodbye this morning, and I'll call them when we get down the road apiece."

  "Fine." She put the car in gear, and I laid my head against the seat and stared out the window at the resort, awash in a new sadness.

  Tucker was gone. I'd been a fool, and maybe thrown away any chance I had at happiness. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep.

  Chapter 37

  Samantha

  It was near the bewitching hour, and we were somewhere in Missouri, about five hours from home. The weather had cleared, and the top of the Caddie had come down hours ago. Dani was at the wheel, and Max and Alex snored comically, their heads pressed together in the back seat. I'd already taken video footage of them with my phone to share later and was staring out the window, trying not to think about Kyle and the way he touched me, both physically and, somehow, despite my best efforts, emotionally.

  I don't think Dani had spoken for hours before she finally murmured, "Sam... I know you're an intensely private person. But if you want to talk about Kyle, I'm here for you."

  I shrugged, moved by the gesture, but not wanting to show it. "It was no big deal. It didn't work out is all," I answered evasively.

  "Hmm," was all she said.

  "What about you?" I said, curious, and at the same time, trying to change the subject. "What made you turn around and go back to find Tucker?"

  She was quiet for a minute, and I had just about decided she didn't hear me when she finally spoke. "I was wrong to walk away from him. I was doing it because I was scared. Scared to love again. Scared to hurt again. But, unfortunately," she wiped at a tear that escaped her watchful guard, "it was too late. I already cared for him. And I just... threw it all away." More tears slid past, coming fast and furious now. "Damn it." She pounded the steering wheel with her fist.

  I reached out and grabbed her hand and squeezed. There was nothing to say so we rode silently. But her words had me thinking. Wasn't that exactly what I did, too? I was afraid to love, to trust my love with someone, and get hurt. It made me feel like a damn coward to think of it that way, but... I guess it was true. The thought of giving myself to another man was terrifying, even when I thought that man was sweet and sincere. Because, didn't they all appear that way? I shook my head. The only thing clear right now was I could not stop thinking about a man for the first time in years, and it wasn't a pleasant experience.

  Chapter 38

  Maxine

  By the time I pulled the Caddie into the driveway, I was exhausted. Todd was outside working on the lawn.

  "My baby's home!" he screamed, and ran over to kiss the car.

  "Nice," I said, though I knew he was joking.

  "Oh, hi, Max," he said as if he'd just noticed me.

  I got out and started toward the trunk to get my bag. I pouted. "Man. Nice to be missed."

  He grabbed me by the hips and surprised me by pressing me against the car. "I have missed you, Max." His voice was a low rumble, and I could see it in his eyes. I could feel it in his touch. Hell, I think I could practically smell it—he wanted me.

  "Are the kids home?" I asked casually, a smile spread slowly across my face.

  He shook his head with a wicked smile. "Why don't we go up, and I'll show you how much I missed you."

  I played with his hair. "I've been waiting for you to say that." I flashed my own wicked smile.

  We didn't even make it up the stairs. His need was so keen he couldn't even wait for the comfort of a bed. It was wonderful and made me alive, needed, desired. And let me tell you, my husband may not do it often, but when he does do it, he completely undoes me.

  The next day, I was floored when a van pulled up and delivered a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my husband and a card that read, "Welcome home, Maxi. I will love you today and always—Todd"

  How about that? Maybe our marriage wasn't as dead as I thought it was after all.

  Chapter 39

  Alexis

  It came as a complete surprise to me that Chris looked so good when I pulled in the driveway, as if my eyes were thirsting for that sight. I hopped out of the car and threw my arms around him. "Hey."

  "Wow!" He laughed. "If I'd known I'd get this kind of reception on your return, I'd have sent you to Colorado years ago."

  I dropped my head. "I know. I'm sorry about that."

  He crooked a finger under my chin and lifted it. "Hey. I was kidding."

  "Yeah, but I wasn't. We drove for like 165 hours through Kansas sunflower fields—which were pretty at first but soon lost their appeal—and I had a lot of time to think. I'm sorry I've taken our relationship for granted, Chris. I want to get back what we once had."

 
; I was shocked when he got choked up.

  "I'd like that, too," he murmured, and laid one of his infamous, earthshaking kisses on me. We hadn't kissed each other that way in years.

  "Mommy! Mommy!" Tennis shoes flopped along the sidewalk, interrupting that dreamy kiss. But I was glad to see those faces, too.

  That evening, we instituted date night. It was going to be a bit of a squeeze on the old budget to hire a babysitter, but we both knew it would be well worth it. We also decided there needed to be at least one annual getaway weekend for the two of us, and went online to start planning the first one. The planning was fun, too, talking about all of the things we could do together and anticipating alone time when we could remember who we were together before life came between us. Time to remember who Chris and Alex were, and leave "Mom" and "Dad" at home for the weekend. Liking the changes we made, Chris added a daily ten-minute date, a time when we talked together in our bedroom while he changed out of his work clothes. Door locked, no interruptions allowed.

  When he left for Fond du Lac on Monday, it was a tearful goodbye. But I was already anticipating his arrival back home on Friday. It was strange how just a change in attitude could alter your entire world. The kids were happier. We were happier...

  I decided to hold on to my marriage with both hands, determined the love we shared on our first motorcycle ride through the rain would bloom and grow ever deeper with each passing day. In part, I had Dani and Sam to thank for that change, but I doubted they could ever understand why. I only hoped they would find someone to make a life with again. It wasn't always easy, but I could see what they were going through now was hell.

  We all need to make our own happiness. I was glad I'd figured out how to make mine with the man I married.