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London Season Matchmaker Box Set: Regency Romance

Page 32

by Lucy Adams


  Merry jerked her arm away at once, looking at her sister’s surprised expression and wishing that she and Titania had more in common than what was currently apparent. “That is not at all what I wish for, Titania,” she told her sister plainly. “I shall behave as I have always done at events such as these and would be most grateful if you did not interfere.”

  Titania said nothing for a moment or two, regarding Merry carefully. “Then why, might I ask, have you changed in such a drastic fashion if you do not wish to capture the attention of the gentlemen present?” she asked eventually, looking Merry up and down. “I cannot think of any other explanation for it, and for what it is worth, I was very glad to see you so willing to–”

  Interrupting Titania before she could say any more, Merry quickly gave her sister a quick explanation as to what was occurring, making Titania’s eyes flare in surprise.

  “Gracious, that is rather daring of you, Merry,” she exclaimed once Merry had finished. “For you do look very pleasing in that gown.”

  Merry, who was wearing a gown of light green, which brought out the color of her faded green eyes, tipped her head and regarded her sister. “But I am not beautiful, as you are,” she replied, seeing Titania flush. “The gown and the way my hair has been done are in attempts to make me more attractive to the gentlemen who walk by me. I am not this person, Titania.” She gestured to her gown, finding the cut to be a little too low to her liking. “But yet I do so in order to prove to Mama that she is incorrect to believe that any alterations to my appearance will garner me the attention she believes me to require.”

  “And then you will be free to do as you please for the rest of the Season,” Titania added, as Merry nodded. “I must admit that I think it a rather foolish idea on Mama’s part, for she could easily be throwing away a perfectly good Season for you.”

  Merry stiffened. “I do not wish to be dragged into the attentions of a gentleman who cares nothing for my character nor my interests but rather thinks of me as nothing more than an adornment that he might wear on his arm from time to time,” she replied, a little harshly. “That cannot be a poor consideration, Titania.”

  Titania nodded slowly, her expression a little sympathetic. “And you fear that a gentleman will only look at your outward appearance.”

  A harsh laugh tugged itself from Merry’s lips. “I do not think they will look at my outward appearance for more than a moment before they decide to acquaint themselves with another,” she replied. “And I do not require your help in this, Titania. I have told Mama that if she interferes, then I shall immediately become the victor. Do you understand?”

  A long sigh of irritation rattled from Titania’s lips, but she eventually nodded.

  “I thank you,” Merry replied, seeing Titania’s fiancé, Lord Carroway, approaching them both. “Now, if you will excuse me, I have somewhere I must go.”

  Titania said nothing, and Merry quickly made her escape, as she usually did during events such as this. She was behaving just as would be expected, she told herself, moving quietly to the edges of the crowd, where the wallflowers stood. This was her company, her familiar place. How often she had lingered here, watching the guests converse, laugh, and enjoy themselves – and just how often she had felt the same wretched grief that filled her now.

  It was a grief that she had never shared with another, for she was entirely unused to speaking the truth about what lingered in the depths of her heart. It was much easier to remain aloof, to pretend that she did not care for the interest of the gentlemen that seemed to surround so many of the ladies of the beau monde. It was simpler to remain plain of dress, so as to match her face, and to state loudly that she cared nothing for what gentlemen thought of her.

  Of course, deep in her heart, Merry longed to find a gentleman who cared nothing for the plainness of her face or for the determination she had to further her own mind, but she had covered such a longing many times over in the hope that, one day, it would be gone from her entirely. The chance of finding such a gentleman had begun to fade the first day she had come to London, when she had seen just how the ton looked towards her sister Eliza and Titania and had not spared even a glance in her direction. She had known then that she was of no interest to them, and whilst she was glad that her sisters had made favorable matches with gentlemen who clearly cared for them, she had no hope of succeeding in that for herself. No, she would remain alone and entirely without hope, passed over again and again, but it was something that Merry told herself she simply needed to resign herself to. No, she had told herself, she did not want to garner the attention of a gentleman who would simply look at her outward appearance and think that was all that mattered. If she could choose for herself, she would seek a gentleman who was interested in all that she was and all that she did. Someone who would not care whether or not she was something of a bluestocking. Someone who would look beyond her lack of beauty and think her character something worth pursuing.

  Fading in with the other wallflowers, Merry allowed herself a small, rueful smile. Her mother might not wish to admit it, but Merry felt no fear in acknowledging that such a dream was nothing more than that – a flight of fancy that would bring her very little, if anything at all. It was easier to accept in her own mind that she would one day be a spinster, forced to rely upon her sisters’ generosity in order to live a life of contentment. Perhaps she would be the maiden aunt to her sisters’ offspring. Surely that would bring her some joy.

  “Oh, goodness.”

  Merry was tugged from her thoughts by the sound of another young lady’s exclamation. Despite her curiosity, she said nothing, wondering what it was that had captured her attention so.

  “There he is.”

  Merry closed her eyes and tried to quell the immediate rise of irritation that jumped into her heart. Of course, the young ladies present were considering a gentleman. That was to be expected. They would admire him from afar, knowing that there was no hope for them to ever become acquainted with him.

  And yet, Merry could not help but look to see who this particular gentleman was.

  “He has returned to London,” she heard another young lady murmur, her excitement obvious in the brightness of her eyes as Merry turned to give her a quick glance. “Look just how he parades through the room!” She sounded breathless with wonder, as though merely seeing this gentleman was enough to satisfy all of her longings and desires. Merry resisted the urge to roll her eyes and instead turned her head to see where this gentleman was, wondering if she would be able to make him out merely by the description of his “parading” through the ballroom.

  At first, her eyes saw nothing but the many gentlemen and ladies that roamed in front of them. Most were engaged in conversation, with some being offered the arm of a gentleman who was to take them to the floor to dance. Merry saw no one of note, nor of particular interest.

  And then, her gaze snagged. A gentleman was speaking to a young lady and a woman whom Merry thought to be the young lady’s mother. They were both standing together, with eyes shining. Merry frowned. The mother was apparently as overwhelmed by the consideration of this gentleman as her daughter was, which said a good deal about the gentleman himself. She allowed her eyes to return to him, even though she could only see him from the side. He appeared fairly tall, with a good frame and a generous head of thick, dark hair. As she watched, Merry saw him reach for the young lady’s dance card and write his name down upon it, aware of just how delighted the young lady appeared to be by this action. A wave of longing crashed over her, making her suddenly yearn for this particular gentleman to show her the very same interest. Throwing the idea aside, Merry made to turn her head away, telling herself that she need not look at him for another moment, when he took his leave of the young lady and her mother and turned in Merry’s direction.

  His eyes did not go to her, of course, but rather ran around the room as if he was in search of his next conquest. Merry tried to dislike the fellow at once, telling herself that his lopsided s
mile, bright eyes and ease of manner most likely meant that he was nothing more than a rascal, but there was something about him that made her heart quicken and her mouth go dry.

  Despite herself, Merry could not help but enquire as to his name, turning her head slightly to speak to the young lady behind her whilst not allowing her gaze to fall from the gentleman for even a moment.

  “Miss Greyson,” she began, feeling heat climbing up her spine. “Tell me, if you please. Who were you referring to only a moment ago?”

  Miss Greyson sighed heavily, as though lost in affection for this gentleman. “Surely you must be aware of Lord Weston, Miss Wells,” she replied, not looking into Merry’s face but rather across the room at Lord Weston. “He is Earl of Weston and is, from what I have heard, exceedingly wealthy.”

  “And handsome,” Merry added, before she could stop herself, but Miss Greyson only acknowledged this with a quick nod of agreement.

  “More than handsome,” she replied, as Merry turned her head back to continue watching Lord Weston. “He was present last Season and was here for the first few weeks, and then disappeared completely for some time. No one knew where he had gone. How wonderful to know that he has returned now!”

  “Wonderful indeed,” Merry replied, a little dryly as she saw Lord Weston bowing over the hand of another young lady and became aware of how the girl blushed furiously. She could not help but see the broad smile that settled on his face as he lifted his head. Was it that he enjoyed garnering attention such as this? Did he take great pleasure in seeking out as many young ladies as he could, so that he might be fawned over and flattered as he was being now?

  Merry tossed her head and forced her eyes away from the handsome gentleman. She had no need to watch him, no need to behave as the others did. She was not interested in a gentleman who had such a manner as Lord Weston, the sort of man who reminded her of a peacock, its tail feathers all fanned out as it strutted around in the hope of making itself as noticeable as possible – whilst ensuring that they did not give their attention to only one in particular. Lord Weston was a man who should be ignored—as far as Merry was concerned. She had no time for a gentleman such as he.

  “I believe you may have won this wager, Merry.”

  It was some hours later and, much to Merry’s relief, no gentleman had come near her, just as she had predicted. The gown and the stylish coiffure had made no difference. She had remained as she normally would, standing with the wallflowers and showing no particular interest in engaging with anyone. In that, her mother could not criticize her, for she had not changed her behavior in any way.

  “I did state that such a thing would occur, Titania,” she replied, seeing her sister shake her head in a clearly frustrated fashion. “I can now hope that Mama will simply leave me to my own choices and not force me to dress in a certain manner.”

  Titania shook her head again, frowning heavily. “She is only seeking your best, Merry.”

  “What is for my best, as you so put it, is to be permitted to do as I wish, and not be dressed up in the hope of catching a gentleman’s eye. A gentleman who will, most likely, see nothing more than the outside façade that has been placed upon me.”

  “Now, that is hardly fair,” Titania replied swiftly. “You know very well that both Eliza and I are very happy and contented in our arrangements.”

  Merry sighed and looked at her sister, seeing the concern in her eyes and wishing that everyone would simply leave her to herself. “You forget, Titania, that you and Eliza both wished to be wed. You especially were eager to seek out the company of a gentleman so that your choice might be made well. I have no such desire.” This was not the entirety of the truth, but Merry had no desire to speak openly to her sister for fear of laying her heart out completely. That would make her much too vulnerable. “Thankfully, it seems that I am to be….”

  Her words slipped away from her as a gentleman began to come towards them both, eyeing Titania with the same curious eagerness that Merry had seen so many times before. She sighed inwardly and turned away slightly, leaving her sister looking at her in confusion.

  “Am I to find myself so blessed as to be standing in the presence of Miss Titania Wells?”

  Merry closed her eyes momentarily and turned around a little more, taking a few steps away from Lord Weston as he greeted Titania. She should have expected that Lord Weston would be known to Titania. The usual sting of being treated as though she were invisible grated at her again, but Merry simply accepted it as a familiar friend. Gentlemen always sought out Titania. She was bright and vivacious, whereas Merry, even in her beautiful gown and pinned back curls that had been adorned with seed pearls, would still go entirely unnoticed.

  She swallowed hard, turning around to see the way Lord Weston laughed down into Titania’s face. It was just as well, she told herself. She did not want to be acquainted with such a gentleman. She did not allow the pain of being unnoticed to gnaw at her soul as it had done so many times before, even though her heart sank low in her chest. It was her lot, it seemed. Her lot in life was to be in her sister’s shadow and to stay back from the light. No matter what she wore, what she said, or how she behaved, she would be left with only the shadows to call her friends.

  “I have danced with almost every young lady present this evening,” she heard Lord Weston say, sounding quite proud of himself. “And yet you, Miss Wells, have quite escaped my notice.”

  Merry watched this interaction with a slightly dulled interest, catching sight of Lord Carroway approaching Lord Weston and Titania.

  “I am sorry we have not become reacquainted these last hours, Lord Weston,” Titania replied, with no hint of flirtation in her voice. “But I should inform you that things have changed vastly since we first were introduced.” She reached out a hand to Lord Carroway, smiling up into his face. “Lord Carroway and I are to be wed.”

  Merry saw Lord Weston’s expression change at once. It went from surprise to a broad smile, which did not quite reach his eyes. It was nothing more than a pretense, she was certain of it. Perhaps Lord Weston was disappointed that he would have one less young lady to fawn over him. She rolled her eyes to herself and glanced about, looking for her mother, wondering if she would be permitted to escape home any time soon.

  “My hearty congratulations,” Lord Weston said loudly, as Merry continued to look about her. “I fear then that I shall have to give my attentions to another, Miss Wells, since Lord Carroway has stolen you!”

  Titania laughed softly. “I do have two unmarried sisters and a cousin, Lord Weston,” she told him, making Merry freeze with a sudden, distressing horror. “Should you ever feel the need to further your acquaintance with my family, then I should be more than happy to introduce you.”

  Merry kept her face turned away from Lord Weston and Titania, feeling heat climb up her spine and flood into her cheeks. Titania knew full well that she was not to interfere in any way in this evening’s wager between Merry and Lady Whitehaven, but apparently, she had decided to do so regardless. Praying that Lord Weston would have no interest in doing as Titania suggested, Merry held her breath as she waited for Lord Weston to answer.

  However, it was not Lord Weston who spoke first, but rather Lord Carroway.

  “In fact, Lord Weston,” he said cheerfully, “may I present Miss Merry Wells to you?”

  Merry whirled around at once, her eyes widening as Lord Carroway drew near her, a broad smile on his face. Did he know of the agreement between herself and her mother? Was he doing this purposefully? She shot a hard look towards Titania, who was smiling helplessly, a small shrug lifting one shoulder.

  “Come, Miss Wells,” Lord Carroway said, as though he were doing her a tremendous favor in inviting her to speak to Lord Weston. “Let me introduce you to an acquaintance of mine.”

  Quite how she managed to move forward, Merry did not know. Her feet were stumbling, her mouth going dry as she was brought to stand in front of Lord Weston, who was, at the very least, smiling at her.
His eyes were roving across her features, before lowering to her toes before rising again, and Merry felt herself go hot all over.

  And with that heat came a flicker of anger. How dare he look at her in such a dispassionate way? It was as though she were being considered by him so that he could decide whether or not she was suitable. Suitable to be allowed some of his attentions, or whether he could permit himself to accept her own accolades and adorations – which Merry was certain Lord Weston wanted.

  “Good evening, Lord Weston,” she said stiffly, once introductions had been formally made. “I hope you have had an enjoyable evening.” She did not hold his gaze but looked away, hoping that her lack of interest would be enough to prevent him from seeking anything further from her. The last thing she needed was for him to look to further their acquaintance, brief as it was, for fear that her wager would be lost.

  “I have had a very enjoyable evening, I thank you,” Lord Weston replied easily, his eyes still fixed upon her, although they still did not linger in one place. “Although I have made it my intention to dance with every young lady I can find, it appears I may have missed some entirely.” He gave her an easy smile, which Merry did not return.

  “I think your endeavour to be lost from the start,” she told him plainly. “For there are far too many young ladies present for you to complete one dance with each, Lord Weston.” Looking back at him steadily, she saw him grin but felt no answering pang in her heart. He was a fop, nothing more, and she did not want to give him even a moment longer of her time. It was only when she glanced to her left that she realized that Titania and Lord Carroway had moved aside a little, talking quietly amongst themselves so as to give Merry and Lord Weston enough privacy to talk to each other without fear of being interrupted. Her anger began to fan itself into flame, for her sister had clearly interfered in this evening deliberately, and she was now trying to ensure that Lord Weston was the gentleman who succeeded where others had not.

 

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