A Cat and His Human (League of Losers Book #1): LitRPG Series

by Atamanov, Michael

  Just as I’d feared, the lift stopped at floor eight. Police surged out of it. Didn’t take them long to see that the apartment was unlocked. With crashes and shouts, they broke into my former abode. Only half a minute later, the assault team realized they were too late. A voice said the kettle on the stove was still hot, sent the team to cover the main exit and check all the apartments between floors one and sixteen. They also said I was an armed and possibly dangerous criminal. I didn’t feel like going down and explaining to the cops that they had it all wrong. I continued upwards, trying not to make any noise, until I hit the sixteenth floor. Worse luck. There was no stairway up to the roof on this side of the building. That was it, then. Trapped…

  I rang the doorbells on all the apartments on the floor, wanting to hide inside one, but they all turned out to be empty. This was bad. Real bad! It looked like I had a couple of minutes left to live. But just as the SWAT team reached the fifteenth floor, just as I thought they’d spot me at any moment, a bright blue oval lit up on the concrete wall next to me. No way… The promised portal to another world? I looked at my watch. Exactly nine o’clock at night, down to the minute. Enough thinking. I walked right into the shining passageway, already hearing shocked shouts from the cops behind me — they’d seen me and the mysterious portal. But it didn’t matter anymore.

  I was gone!

  Chapter 2 [Andrei]

  Ghost Train

  “ANOTHER ONE!” a female voice said. I opened my eyes.

  Where was I? On a train..? The last place I expected to be was sitting on the lower bunk of a sleeper car, and a perfectly ordinary one to boot. Opposite me sat a young woman with wild, wet hair, holding a frightened, tear-stained boy who looked about twelve. It was chilly in the train car, cold even. The woman and her son wore only wet bathing suits. The train wheels thundered. I saw a snowy forest through a dark night outside the window. The train was headed somewhere, through dark and cold. I wondered; where? This was far from what I expected from a primeval world. They shouldn’t have railroads, that was for sure.

  I was about to ask my companion in the car about this strange place, the sudden change of season from summer to winter, the night train’s route, but I froze with my mouth half open. Something far more important than my half-naked companions and the sleeper car caught my eye. Somewhere in the top left of my field of view, multicolored bars began to appear one after another. Red. Yellow. Gray. At the same time, floating hints appeared to tell me that they were meters of health, fatigue and hunger. All three bars were full. Before I could recover from these sudden life changes, a fourth bar appeared at the bottom of my view, this time empty. According to another hint, this was my progress bar to the next level.

  What the hell..? Levels, hit points, experience… Where was I? Inside a computer game somehow..? That wasn’t part of the deal! That guy didn’t mention any of this! What came next only confirmed my suspicion of a virtual game; text appeared above the heads of those sitting across from me:

  Elayne Makarova. Human. Female. Class undetermined. Level 1

  Anthony Makarov. Human. Male. Class undetermined. Level 1

  A similar message with my name and surname must have appeared above my head, because the woman suddenly addressed me by name, her teeth chattering with the cold:

  “Andrei. Do you… hap-happen to h-have a spare sweater or warm… warm clothes?”

  Her mouth emitted a cloud of condensation with each word. The air in the car felt close to thirty degrees, if not even lower. Without hesitation, I unclasped my backpack — I had a wool sweater in there, and a warm flannel shirt. Elayne started telling their tale while I dug through my pack.

  “My son and I were on a boat when it s-s-suddenly overturned in the waves, and we st-started sinking. Anthony and I c-can’t swim. We w-went under and started falling to the b-bottom… But then… Th-that strange light appeared. I didn’t even th-think about it. Just agreed to a n-n-new life. I t-turned up here alone. I was so scared that my s-s-son stayed behind in the water and died. But a few seconds later, Ant appeared n-next to me. Only a wet b-bathing suit and swim trunks aren’t s-suitable clothes for this place at all. I tried to take the curtains off the windows, but my h-hand goes straight through them. Thank you, Andrei!”

  My clothes turned out to be far too big for my traveling companions, but they weren’t about to complain. The woman pulled the sweater on over her wet swimsuit and pulled the shirt over her son’s head, rolling up the too-long sleeves. In the meantime, I tested Elayne’s words, reached for the curtains on the window. Funny and creepy at the same time… My hand passed right through them like they were incorporeal! Was I a ghost? Or were the curtains themselves immaterial?

  I noticed something else. My progress bar to the next level had filled a little! Not much, maybe five percent, but that meant I’d done something that the game rewarded, and made a little progress to level two. I didn’t see when it happened, though. When I gave the clothes to the other passengers? When I tried the curtains? Damn shame that I hadn’t had time to fill my thermos with hot tea. My partners in misfortune could have used it. Their teeth chattered. And I suspected that would have filled up my progress bar even more.

  “Don’t suppose you could find some winter clothes for me too?” I looked up and saw a grizzly middle-aged man leaning out of the top bunk. He reeked of tobacco and stale whiskey, and for some reason, smoke.

  The man’s hair was scorched on the left side, and there were burnt holes in his dirty t-shirt and sweatpants. I guessed he’d fallen asleep drunk with a cigarette and set fire to his apartment.

  Badass. Human. Male. Class undetermined. Level 1

  I didn’t answer right away. First I wondered about the new guy’s strange nickname. Why no name/surname? You could do that? How did you change your name? Suddenly, my character summary appeared before my eyes:

  Andrei Bestuzhev-Kislyakov

  ATTENTION! You can change your name only once before level 5.

  Human. Male.

  Level 1. Class undetermined

  ATTENTION! Game class is determined automatically at level 10 based on the skills you gain and your play style. Your class may be updated/corrected further until you reach level 25. After level 25, your class cannot be changed and you will no longer be able to use skills incompatible with your game class.

  Currently suggested class: Thug, Soldier, Fighter

  Character stats:

  Strength 17 (+15% damage dealt in close combat)

  Agility 18 (+20% reaction speed, +20% action accuracy)

  Intellect 11 (Effect unknown)

  Perception 12 (-10% range to vision, hearing, sense of smell)

  Physique 20 * Your high Physique gives your character special abilities

  Luck Modifier -3 * Your extremely low Luck gives your character special abilities

  ATTENTION! You can redistribute up to three stat points

  Character attributes:

  Health Points: 132 / 132

  Stamina: 187 / 187 (high attribute for a character of your level)

  Magic Points: 0 / 0

  Max burden: 75 lbs

  Mutagens used: 0

  Fame: 0

  Character skills:

  Hand-to-Hand Combat 1 * Mutagens not used

  ATTENTION! 1 of 6 possible skills at level 1 chosen

  Character’s special abilities:

  Hardy Brute * Ability available to creatures with significantly negative Luck

  +10% resistance to cold, heat, poisons, radiation and other aggressive effects

  Resilience * Ability available to creatures with high Physique

  +15% resistance to cold, heat, poisons, radiation and other aggressive effects

  Regeneration * Ability available to creatures with Physique at 20 or above

  +1 Health Point per minute

  The only thing that bothered me was that I got resistance to the external environment both from my Physique and my Luck. That seemed a little redundant. Or did they stack,
giving me +25% defense in total against external forces? That would be great. As for the rest, I’d gotten a pretty good character. Strong, agile, resilient, tough. A born fighter. Only my pathetic Luck bothered me. What did Luck do anyway? A game hint appeared instantly:

  The character’s Luck modifier influences your chance of hitting with any long-range weaponry, your chance of being wounded when falling or taking damage, your winnings in gambling games and your chance of dealing critical damage to a foe. Luck does not influence your chance to find trophies, but does increase your chance of a more valuable find.

  Not much, then? Not much. I could do without Luck. I’d never liked gambling, and I didn’t have any guns. I planned to fight with my axe. Chance of getting hurt from a fall? But I had good Agility, so I shouldn’t fall too often. I saw no reason to redistribute my character stat points.

  But my name… That I really wanted to change. I’d never liked my double-barreled surname, I was self-conscious over it. No idea why my parents were so proud of it. The Bestuzhevs were a very old noble family in Russia, with roots stretching back to the seventeenth century and the time of Empress Elizabeth Petrovna, daughter of Peter the Great. The traditions of the Bestuzhev nobility dictated that daughters kept the surname, which is what led to all the Bestuzhev-Ryumins, Bestuzhev-Marlinskis and so on. But now the twenty-first century was knocking! All those high and mighty titles disappeared long ago! Anyway, my distant ancestors’ family tree might have been in the same orchard as the Bestuzhevs, but only just. Cousins who-knows-how-many-times-removed. Silly to fancy yourself a descendant of aristocracy on that basis. On top of that, the Bestuzhev family name comes from, as our history teacher in school taught us, the Russian word ‘besstyzhie,’ which means ‘shamelessness.’ My classmates called me ‘shameless’ for years. I’d rather skip that in this world…

  Alright, could I remove my surname from my game nick? Turned out I could. Only I couldn’t just set ‘Andrei’ as my name:

  Error. A player with that name already exists.

  What was I supposed to do, use Andrei_1, Andrei123 or some other dumb substitute? Bullshit. And if unique names were already in short supply, then how many generations until every possible name was taken?

  I tried to just change my game nick completely. I wanted to choose something short and snappy, but still threatening, showcasing my strength and courage, with a reference to my army service. All the good names were taken. Hero, Fighter, Gunner, Grunt, Soldier. I tried another dozen similar options, but they were all taken too. How many people were in this game already?!

  ‘Sergeant’ turned out to be available. Why not? Perfectly good nickname for a soldier. Maybe I only made it to Corporal, but I still rushed to grab the nick Sergeant before someone else stole it.

  “Well, soldier boy? Got any warm clothes for me?” my neighbor on the upper bunk drew my attention again, pulling me away from inspecting Sergeant’s stats.

  This Badass guy had some attitude! His pants looked just fine, and he had a t-shirt, albeit a little ragged, and sandals covering his feet. In comparison with the other passengers in the car, he was doing alright. Over on the lower side bunk, a dark-haired and completely naked girl had just appeared, staring around in horror and belatedly covering her nudity with her hands.

  Margarita Ovchinnikov. Human. Female. Class undetermined. Level 1

  She was going to have a rough time with no belongings, not even clothes. As for me… Compared to the other travelers on this weird train, I looked a rich man. Who was I to judge Badass for wanting to be better equipped to face the new world? Now I understood what a huge leg-up I’d gotten by having a whole day to prepare. Next I needed to use that advantage to do something useful toward leveling up my character, and maybe make some new friends.

  I dug out some warm socks for my bunkmate up top. Badass immediately pulled them over his grimy feet and pointed to my rubber boots next to my backpack.

  “Give me the boots too, don’t be greedy! My health is too low to walk in the snow barefoot. Don’t worry, soldier boy, I’ll pay you back! I’ll help how I can! I’ll give my shoes to that mommy over there,” he pointed at Elayne Makarova, who was listening to us.

  Should I really give Badass the boots? He looked like the type who’d been around the block, seen and suffered a lot. Maybe he really would come in handy? The new world promised to be dangerous. A friend and ally could be useful.

  “Here! Enjoy!” I passed the boots to Badass and pulled out a spare t-shirt too, to give to the mortified brunette, who, having tested the corporeality of the curtain, was now covering herself up with all her might.

  But what was this? Under the mass of stuff in my backpack, I saw a shining blue card. Looked like a playing card. I’d packed everything myself and was certain it wasn’t in the backpack before. I picked up the strange item, examined it. Really did look like a playing card. The material felt like tough cardboard, maybe plastic, hard to tell. One side had a weird runic inscription, the other — a snowflake. What was this strange thing..?

  Your character does not have enough Intellect to identify this item.

  “It’s a one-time-use magical artifact that causes a snowstorm,” the naked Margarita said suddenly, surprising herself. “Huh! How do I know that?”

  I grabbed the old t-shirt, for which I’d opened my bag in the first place, and gave it to the naked girl. The progress bar to level two filled up to twenty percent.

  Potential class removed: Thug.

  Potential class added: Sheriff.

  “Thanks, uhm… Sergeant! I’m Margarita,” she introduced herself for some reason, although everyone could already see her name.

  Feeling the curious gazes of the passengers on her, Margarita hurried to put on the long t-shirt, which reached almost down to the girl’s knees, and spoke decisively, answering their unvoiced questions:

  “Yeah, alright, I’m an idiot! I cut my wrists in the bath. What..? The cuts are gone..?” the girl looked at her wrists in amazement in search of the cuts, but saw nothing. “Strange. A couple of minutes ago there were cuts on my wrists. I really just wanted to scare my parents. They overreacted to me getting a boyfriend. I thought mom and dad would come running when I screamed, see me in the bloody bathtub and save me. And they’d get a good lesson on listening to what I have to say. But… I overdid it, I must have nearly killed myself. So much blood! All the water was red! I tried to call for help, but they didn’t hear me, and I was too weak to get out of the bath… If it weren’t for the angel, I would have died.”

  The angel??? My gentleman in the old-fashioned suit seemed more closely related to the devil. It seemed different candidates were met by recruiters from different sides in the ‘Great Game.’ After the girl finished, I looked out the window. Did I dream it, or was our train slowing?

  “We’re braking,” Badass confirmed, climbing down from the bunk with an old man’s wheeze.

  Now I saw he was a little man, hair thin at the back, his whole body covered in prison tattoos. Through a big hole in his t-shirt, I could see a cathedral with four domes on his chest. Four ‘stretches’? Badass stared into the darkness of the window a long while, then suddenly spoke to me:

  “Well, soldier boy, you coming along to find the train conductor? Let’s find out where this train of ours is headed. And we can ask that bastard why it’s so cold in here too!”

  I hesitated a moment, deciding whether to take my backpack. Better not to risk leaving such tempting spoils lying around. I picked up the pack. Too late I remembered, knelt down and searched under the table and cots for my lame kitten. The ginger fluffball was nowhere to be found. Well, all the better for him. I followed Badass out into the corridor, already full of people, and we hurried toward the conductor’s cabin. There were so many people on the train! They sat two or three to a bunk. Many even stood in the corridor. Every single one looked confused, bewildered, even afraid. Badass and I caught surprised looks, but nobody spoke to us, let alone tried to stop us.

 
The convict threw open the doors to the conductor’s cabin… And found no one to complain to. The cabin was empty. And it seemed like it had been empty for a very long time. Maybe it had never been inhabited — we saw no conductor’s possessions, no mattress or sheets. In the meantime, the brakes hissed — the train was stopping. I glanced out the window and saw a bright light ahead, some dark figures. Our train was expected…

  Chapter 3 [Sergeant]

  A New World

  “IT’S A LOT warmer here, and there’s no snow!” I was the very first to jump from the stopped train onto the gravel-strewn platform and turn back to the people crowded in the doorway. “Did you know our car is the only one on the whole train?! And there’s no locomotive! And the rails end literally a yard from the car…”

  Our car had moved in some truly strange manner in the night and was now stopped in a circle around a hundred yards in diameter. I could clearly see the edges of the zone lighting up with electric discharge. Within the ring it was surprisingly bright, although I saw no source of light. The distant stars weren’t enough to illuminate it so well, although it really was a cloudless and starry night. I couldn’t see the moon, or even any familiar constellations. Not that I was much of an astronomer, but I would have recognized Ursa Major, the North Star and Orion’s Belt if they were in the sky. They weren’t.

  Choose the learnable skill Astronomy for your character?

  No, no! This too-attentive suggestion from the game system even scared me a little. Me, an astronomer? I didn’t even like the subject in school. The suggestion line disappeared at once.

  Margarita was the second to jump down after me, holding down the hem of her long t-shirt. I saw Badass’s beat-up sandals on the girl’s feet. The hardened criminal gave her his old shoes after all.

  “Wow! It really is a lot warmer out here than in the train car,” the dark-haired girl said happily. “I nearly froze stiff in there, but now I’m warm even in this t-shirt, and it’s night-time! Feels like it’s summer, or…”