A Cat and His Human (League of Losers Book #1): LitRPG Series

by Atamanov, Michael

Your character does not have enough Intellect to identify this item.

  This looked like the artifact Shelly had described, the one that appeared in the ruins in the marsh during a storm. The one that could be used to summon an arachnoscorp. I was in the swamp during the storm and the card just appeared in my backpack! Lucky me! I handed the artifact over to the Cartographer, getting in return a huge silver signet ring shaped like a reptile coiled in a circle.

  Wyrm Signet Ring. +10 resistance to poison. Grants immunity to psionic influences.

  The signet ring was a little too big for me. It would only stay on my thumb. Then I told the man how I tamed the Marsh Mistress in all the gory details, not forgetting the necessity to sacrifice at least one, but better yet, several giga-komodos if the beast to be tamed was hungry. The Cartographer listened carefully. Then, once my story was over, the merchant announced:

  “Well then, you and I are quits. Although… I must be fair. You gave me a little more than I you. So I will answer two questions about this world. Only first, one little matter to attend to…”

  The Cartographer took out another scroll of parchment, unfurled it and read it without showing it to me. It must have done something, because the scroll lit up and golden sparks shot through the air, only… nothing actually happened! I looked from side to side in confusion, but saw no changes.

  “That wasn’t for you, Sergeant, but for your pet,” The Cartographer took my little kitten from his shoulder and placed him on the ground. “Your kitten has the Hexxer class, and he needs… how can I put it… to charge up with magic to get stronger. I have helped him do so. And you really do have no idea how lucky you are to have this pet! Now ask your questions. I have a feeling you have many.”

  Truer words were never spoken. The new world was just as unclear and unknown to me as the first day I got there. New species, new laws, dangerous fauna… But there was something else I wanted an answer to.

  “My first question. From what I understand, this place is a kind of sandbox for new players. The main world is beyond the forcefield. If that’s so, then how do you get there?”

  Instead of answering, the Cartographer shook his head and wagged a finger.

  “You’ve disguised two questions as one, Sergeant. The first is about the sandbox — you want me to confirm or deny it. The second is about how you pass through the forcefield. I don’t like tricksters. Information is a commodity just like everything else. Let us trade fairly. You don’t want to end up in a cage like that veyer that tried to steal from me, do you?”

  “Fine,” I agreed at once. “Just the question about how to get through the forcefield.”

  “Level twenty-five and a permanently assigned class,” the Cartographer answered instantly. He paused, then added: “There is no way back. Only very few players with certain classes like Merchant and Cartographer can return here. Even then, they are obliged to observe a range of strict rules, otherwise they lose that ability.”

  I almost automatically asked “what kind of rules?” but stopped myself. I had one question left. There was a lot I wanted to know: who was the Pharaoh? How long had this new world existed? How many people lived in it? Was this the only sandbox? I wanted to ask about the dragons too, and a hundred other things. But I decided to clarify one of the most important questions I had.

  “Tell me about the other species that compete with humanity. That counts as one question, right?”

  “Yes, it does,” the Cartographer agreed. “I don’t think I need to tell you much about the veichs — their settlements are all over, and I saw a veich girl here in Pan’s Landing. The veichs are strong, numerous, cunning. It’s the same situation in all the veich villages I’ve been to — they’re all ready for a big migration. I suspect that any day now, the veichs will up sticks and leave for the wider world in unison.”

  Woah! But what about Shelly? Were her packmates leaving her behind? The Huntress was just level twenty-two. Not strong enough yet to pass through the one-way barrier! In the meantime, the Cartographer continued.

  “There are the veyers too. They’re… unique. A nomadic people, they stay nowhere long. They use the same word for ‘live,’ fly,’ and ‘eat.’ That tells you all you need to know of the veyers. However, they do respect strength, and can be taught not to steal. And there is no friend more loyal than a veyer — if you make friends with one, then it’s forever! This species is also the most advanced in knowledge of the new world, and particularly in how to tame all kinds of creatures. Nobody wants to fight their monster defenders. Incidentally, it was the veyers who sold me my dragon.”

  Holy cow! So that meant the Cartographer hadn’t tamed his mighty cliff dragon himself, but bought it from the winged people?! Regardless of the not-so-friendly traits of the veyers, I had to meet them and learn about those dragons!

  “And the last of the sentient species that settle this world are the sherkhs. The most mysterious of them all. They are everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Outwardly they look like you humans, but they can turn completely invisible and disappear. They are slow to make contact. They never trade with strangers. They are aggressive, impulsive and very touchy. Backstabbing with a poisoned blade, that’s their style. The veichs are at war with the sherkhs, and I’ve spoken with several captured prisoners. The sherkhs speak other languages well, which means that they keep track of their neighbors and study them. But all sherkhs steadfastly refuse to teach their language to outsiders. I’ve seen sherkh settlements, but I couldn’t land — the inhabitants shot at my dragon and disappeared into stealth. I think that’s all I can tell you about the other species. Your questions are answered, Sergeant. Now we are quits!”

  Chapter 23 [Kitten]

  Battle in the Night

  WHAT LUCK! For the first time, I’d found a creature that understood what I was saying! The Cartographer listened to the kitten’s request, or rather offer. He agreed to exchange the one-time use artifact for summoning a cruel arachnoscorp, which I’d gotten in the swamp, for a level one hundred Curse Magic spell. Some might say the kitten got the worse deal, but I didn’t think so. Sure, fifteen minutes of controlling a fearsome summoned monster sounded awesome, and in some situations it could turn the tide of battle. On the other hand, now I had a new spell in my arsenal forever. And it was quite possible that it would come in useful not only against Haze, but against other magic players too.

  What I’d actually asked the Cartographer for was “somethin’ good against mages.” And he gave me Mana Drain. A very specific and complex spell, completely useless in ordinary life, but in certain situations… simply irreplaceable. Activating it cost a whole twenty-five Mana Points, and the target had to be within thirty yards, but it allowed you to drain the victim’s mana until either the enemy’s mana bar ran out or your own filled up. That would be fine, but there was one detail: using the spell required level forty Curse Magic, and I only had level thirteen…

  No problem! I had enough free skill points, and Pan’s Landing happened to be home to the very people whose lives I very much wanted to ruin by cursing them every time I could to level up my skills. No, actually I decided I wouldn’t risk going up against Haze or his moody and eternally alert bodyguard, Hulk. But Badass, now respawned, was another matter entirely. He’d threatened to make life unbearable for my master in Pan’s Landing. I decided to respond in kind.

  The three newcomers had been given their own room, pushing the previous occupants into smaller quarters. I suspected Haze’s psionic magic had something to do with that. Their ward Edward Samarsky had no such privileges. He got the same amount of space as the other villagers in the big sleeping room, which now housed nine people.

  I climbed onto the roof of the common house and laid down above the small room’s half-open window. I went into Stealth, stayed quiet — I wanted to hear what the dangerous trio talked about.

  “Badass, for the last time, get your skinny ass off that bed, go outside and politely invite that hairy bitch here to talk. Tell her we ain’t g
onna eat her. We just need to talk about her people.”

  “She won’t come, Haze. I said some strong words to Sergeant in front of her. The dog listens to him. Let Hulk go. He’ll have better results.”

  I’d figured out where Badass was in the room — he had a bed of straw by the door. His companions had chosen spots by the window. Apparently, regardless of the old criminal’s boasts, his new acquaintances didn’t consider him their equal in the least. And I had the feeling Badass had shied away from telling his friends about his recent death.

  Alright, time to start! I opened my Curse Magic tab and cast Infect on Badass. Minus five mana points, but that didn’t matter — at level twelve, my Whiskers now had forty-one Mana Points. I could play this game a long time, especially since my mana was steadily restoring too. Infect again! And again!

  “This again…” This displeased voice belonged to Haze’s bodyguard. “Can’t you see I’m busy? I’m cleaning my gun, it got some moisture in it. Anyway, Sergeant is resting in the workshop right now. The furry bitch is at the river with the crocodiles. So go get her. Do what master says!”

  After the mention of the creeping crocodiles, Badass soured completely and tried all he could to wriggle out of it. He didn’t want another encounter with Katy and Tick-Tock. Another Infect on the criminal! Infect again! And once more!

  Curse Magic skill increased to level fourteen!

  Stealth skill increased to level fifteen!

  Your character is now level thirteen!

  Reward: three skill points (total available: thirty-six) and one mutation point (total available: five).

  Now was the time! I put all thirty-six of my saved points into Curse Magic, raising the skill all the way to fifty! Now we’d see what I could do. Until now, my magic had only slightly affected Badass. My mana had recovered too; now I had forty-five Mana Points available.

  Infect Badass! Oh, now that was more like it! Even from the roof, I heard his belly growling.

  “Ugh. Something’s wrong with my stomach…” The criminal shot out of the room like a bullet and ran toward the outhouse in the yard.

  Slow on Badass! Another Slow! Hehe. He didn’t make it. My kitten had enhanced hearing, but not sense of smell. All the same, I could still smell it from up on the roof. Now Badass would have to wash his trousers… It’d be a while before he could get around to ruining Sergeant’s life. Badass would have to get used to trouble of that sort. There was plenty more where that came from for my master’s enemy!

  “You think the Cartographer recognized you, Haze?” Hulk asked the question quietly, but I still heard him.

  “What difference does it make? Even if he did, he hasn’t made a song and dance about seeing me with the Pharaoh. And he couldn’t — he’s kind of a local NPC. Always neutral, couldn’t take a side even if he wanted to. Just sucks that I couldn’t talk to the merchant without revealing myself. I wanted to order some stuff off him. But it doesn’t matter. We should be worrying about something else. Did you count the number of villagers?”

  “No. Why?”

  “I did. Twenty-five including us. Plus the Philosopher, who Pan and Dubovitsky are talking to now. They’ll probably let him stay. In any case, that’s over twenty-five, which means…”

  “A Lesser Terror!” Hulk’s voice cracked in fear.

  “Exactly. I can see off a Lesser Terror, but I’d have to give myself up. So tonight we’re officially asleep, not involved. I’ll put some protection on the room. The night beasts won’t get in. The locals can deal with the Terror themselves!”

  Radar Ear skill increased to level nine!

  I didn’t know what a Lesser Terror was, but it sounded scary. Shame I couldn’t warn the other residents of Pan’s Landing of the new threat. Sergeant wanted to try fighting the night beasts on the Marsh Mistress tonight too. That didn’t seem like the best idea in these new circumstances. I’d need to help out my master with my magic from the watchtower.

  Speaking of magic… My higher Curse Magic level meant I could try out my new toy. Time for a test. Mana Drain on Haze! Ooh. Mana flowed into me, three Magic Points per second. Not bad!

  I found out almost at once that attacking Haze wasn’t my smartest idea yet. The mage jumped up, startled. Fortunately, I wasn’t performing any actions actively, and after my mana filled up, the spell stopped working.

  “What’s wrong, master?” The bodyguard Hulk had his hackles up too.

  “I don’t know… My defenses activated and my mana dropped. Feels like I fought off some spell…” Haze approached the window and even stuck his shaved head through it, casting his piercing gaze over the empty yard for a long time. “I didn’t think there were any mages in the village. Go outside and look around, Hulk. Make sure nobody’s been listenin’ in. If you see anyone nearby, kill ‘em! I can talk our way out of it.”

  Time for me to get out of there! I quietly stood up, staying in stealth and hurrying to get away from the dangerous duo. I crept to the other end of the roof, then transformed into a beetle, flew over to the storehouse canopy and hid beneath it.

  * * *

  Over the next few hours, I attacked Badass with Curse Magic spells another three times. The criminal was green around the gills and jumped nervously at the slightest sound. He’d remember this day as one of the worst of his life. Haze and Hulk even kicked their partner in crime out of their private room into the main bedroom, calling him an ‘incontinent plague victim with shaky hands.’ And with reason; at level fifty Curse Magic, the effect from my spells was far more destructive, and Badass got a different sickness each time. And hopefully he’d get many more! I’d decided to drive the vile man out of Pan’s Landing and I wasn’t about to leave the job half-done. I didn’t risk messing with Haze or Hulk any further.

  In the evening, Anna reported that the healing scroll had helped; her husband was feeling a lot better, although it would still be some time before Grip was fully recovered. All the villagers of Pan’s Landing knew what the absence of their main defender meant. They all glanced at the sun, barely visible through a veil of cloud as it descended behind the horizon.

  I really wanted to see whether the newcomers would be served some new and unusual dishes at dinnertime. In particular, I wanted to know if Haze would find some way to wriggle out of that normally mandatory procedure. But unfortunately, I wasn’t at the table for dinner. I was tracking a level 11 Dwarf Mouse that had made its home in a hole by the drawbridge. In spite of its small size, the rodent was a serious threat; it could destroy all the bean sprouts that the Engineer had planted in the earth just fifteen paces from the hole. It was on the bed of bean sprouts that I first saw the dangerous pest. He escaped back to his hole, and now I had to finish the job. The shallow hole didn’t save my victim — I peppered the rat with curses, then dug him out of the hole. That was my dinner done with.

  When night fell, I was sitting again on my favorite spot on the watchtower roof. They’d built the wall of fire particularly high today, not sparing the tar and dry wood. They fired it in advance. Five villagers planned to meet the night beasts on the front line. Two solid Builders — ginger joker Viking and fat Glutton — reinforced the ranks of the strongest warriors; Magomed, Yarik and Rumbler. There were also two archers on each tower: Pan and Washington on one, Max Dubovitsky and his daughter Varya on the other. At first glance, the defenses seemed solid and secure. Only we expected the intensity of the attack to increase, since Pan’s Landing was now home to more people. On top of that, I remembered Haze’s words about the Lesser Terror, so I was still nervous.

  Alright, it was time! I heard the night beasts’ before I saw them. Their howl was piercing. Then I saw movement at the far end of the river island. The beasts came in greater numbers this time. Twenty five Feelers, plus two Alphas… But where was the Terror? As if in answer to my unspoken question, a scream-like howl from somewhere up in the cloudy gray sky tore my delicate ears. The world darkened. I stopped seeing and perceiving.

  Magic Resistance check f
ailed!

  ATTENTION! You are panicking! Character uncontrollable! Duration: 90 seconds!

  I only had indirect signals to go on to understand what exactly my terrified kitten did for that minute and a half, such as drops in my health and mana. To start with, it seemed Whiskers jumped down from his safe height, since his health fell by a third at once. Then the kitten used some powerful spell, spending almost all its mana.

  Transformation Magic skill increased to level six!

  Judging by the message and countdown timer that suddenly appeared, my out-of-control kitten had transformed into something. I suspected it was a fish, because forty seconds later, when the transformation ended, my character started drowning… In spite of all my training, my little critter was a creature almost incapable of surviving in this world without a human brain leading it. Even in the daytime, I didn’t risk turning into a fish. I knew some of the predators that lurked in the river. Doing it at night was sheer suicide! All I could do was pray: Just live twenty more seconds and I’ll somehow get us out of this!

  I came round on the shore of the oxbow lake at the other end of the river island, soaked through and barely alive. My kitten spat out lots of water and was still shaking in fear. Awful… That must have been the Lesser Terror. I never made out the creature itself. All I knew was that it flew and it scared players with its magic.

  I shook myself, raised my ears. I could hear shots and shouts from the direction of the fiery ditch, easy to see against the night. As soon as I caught my breath, I limped toward the battle, trying not to put too much weight on my back left leg, which was screaming in pain — I’d hurt it again in my fall from the watchtower. At the same time, I went right into Stealth. I needed to be as careful as possible. Now I was on the opposite side of the fire wall, in the territory of the dangerous night beasts. I could be seen and eaten at any moment. All the same, I needed to reach the humans and help them in the night’s fierce battle.