Reckless Scotland

by Vane, Victoria

  “I—”

  “You—”

  They spoke at the same time. He craned his neck to peer at her and grinned. “That’s some timing, my lass.”

  She smiled at the glimpse of the old Uncle Hammish she recognized from her youth. Not the absent, troubled man she’d encountered in recent days.

  “Allow me to go first,” he said. “There are many things I must say.”

  Arabella nodded and straightened in her seat, giving him her undivided attention.

  Dropping his hand from his beard, he tucked his arms behind his back and resumed pacing the chamber. He paused in front of her. “’Twas never my intention to throw you to the wolves as I’ve done.”

  She snorted. “There are hardly any wolves here, Uncle.”

  He waved away her words. “Even so, I should’ve spoken to you before I left. I should’ve made sure you were looked after.” Glancing away, he raised his hand to his jaw and scratched. “In the hall that eve…I was in my cups and being an arse. The way you learned of the match with Calum,”—he shook his head—“’Twas not right. I should’ve spoken to you sooner.”

  “Why did you not?”

  He raised his brows. “I knew you’d be displeased.” He resumed pacing. “You have your mother’s spirit, but you have my temper, I’m afraid. Nay, you would not have understood my position, my reasoning for the match, if I’d simply told you from the start.”

  Biting her lip, she asked, “What is your reasoning?”

  He paused and searched her gaze for long moments. “I wanted you to find the same happiness your mother and father shared. I’ve known Calum since his birth. He’s grown into a strong, capable leader of his clan who deserves the same happiness.” He shrugged. “I’ll admit I pressed him to agree, but ’twas because I could not lose you to anyone less deserving or worthy than Calum.”

  The burn of tears threatened to spill over. She reached out and snagged his hand. “All is well, Uncle. I’m contented with my betrothed.”

  He expelled a gust of air that ruffled the hair atop her head. “You know I would’ve never arranged it if I had my doubts. Right, girl?”

  “I know. I trust you, Uncle.” She squeezed his hand. “Truly, I’m happy with Calum.”

  “Good, good.” Nodding, he patted her hand. “That’s all I could ever ask for.”

  “But, what of you? What has troubled you so? Is there something I can help with?”

  “No need to fret. Naught’s amiss.” He released her hand and chucked her beneath the chin. “Since I ran those harpies off, enjoy a bit of peace and quiet before they return.”

  He crossed the chamber and grabbed the latch to the door. Pausing, he glanced over his shoulder. “You know, with all this talk of marriage lately, I’ve given the matter thought. Mayhap I should try my hand at matrimony. What say you to that, girl?”

  Speechless, Arabella gaped at him.

  He tossed his head back and laughed. “I see the notion does not sit well with you either. ’Twas just a passing thought.”

  As soon as he stepped out, leaving her in privacy, she stared at the closed door for a long while. Had her uncle truly meant what he’d said? If so, who did he have in mind?

  With a burst of startling clarity, she bolted upright from her seat. “Elena!”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Arabella flung her arm in the direction of the two men posted on the opposite side of the garden’s stone wall. “They must have more pressing duties than this.”

  Busy plucking herbs, Mairi smiled. “Sean and Gavin are only doing as ordered.”

  Arabella rolled her eyes. That did not mean she had to like it.

  In truth, it’d taken her a few days to notice the pair. At first, they watched her at a distance under the guise of stealth. Once she discovered the two men, they had not bothered with the pretense any longer. Now, to her dismay, Sean and Gavin hounded her every step with unabashed diligence.

  Mairi added, “Calum’s only being careful, Arabella.”

  She transferred her glare from the stone wall to the other woman’s bent head.

  Careful?

  Aside from the evening meals, she’d scarcely seen Calum since he’d announced their wedding. If her safety worried him so, then why had he distanced himself from her?

  She sniffed. “I assure you there is no need.”

  Mairi rose to her feet and wiped her hands on her apron. Frowning, she crossed the garden and joined Arabella on the stone bench. “Do not be so stubborn. Calum is not taking any chances.”

  “Chances with what? And I’m not stubborn.” At Mairi’s raised brows, Arabella grumbled, “I’m not that stubborn.”

  “My brother fears Longford will make an appearance at some point.” Mairi reached over and grasped her hand. “I know you must worry about that as well. So, please, do not fault Calum for protecting you.”

  Arabella glanced away, unable to admit Mairi was right. No matter how safe she felt enclosed in the keep’s stone walls or surrounded by scores of hardened warriors, the fear of Longford coming for her lingered in her mind. Even if the men did not speak of such matters with her, she knew as well as Calum and her uncle that Longford could not duly claim Penswyck without her. The lengths he’d taken thus far…nay, the whole affair was not over. Not yet.

  “I know,” she mumbled. “’Tis just…I’m starting to feel as though I’m a prisoner.”

  “Do not be daft. You’re free to come and go as you please.” Mairi raised her voice. “Only now you have Sean and Gavin who are more than happy to follow along with you. Right, men?”

  Two male grunts sounded from the opposite side of the wall.

  At least Arabella grudgingly admired the pair’s spirit. When she’d confronted her unwanted escorts, she railed at Sean and Gavin like a madwoman. The two men simply paid her complaints no heed and remarked on the loveliness of the day.

  Mairi nudged her arm. “Something else is troubling you?”

  Looking over the herbs in the garden, she shrugged and shook her head. Far too many doubts to recount tumbled round in her head in a ceaseless flow.

  “Oh, I’m sure of it. You’ve been in a foul mood for days, and ’tis not just because of Sean and Gavin.”

  Arabella glanced heavenward in exasperation. How like Mairi to notice. Since she’d arrived a fortnight ago, the two of them had become fast friends. She soon learned she could not sneak anything past the woman. At times, she counted Mairi’s perceptive nature a blessing. In this instance, ’twas a curse.

  Troubled was too subdued a word for how she felt. In truth, her heart weighed heavy and her spirits wavered. Overwhelmed was a more apt description.

  Between missing Iain, Maggie and Dougal, Heartha and the other women fretting over her wedding attire, the unsteady truce between Elena and her uncle—though the pair still had not spoken to each other—and then Calum’s worrying absence as of late, she was honestly at her wits’ end.

  Mairi pressed. “Come on. What’s amiss?”

  “’Tis naught.”

  “You may as well tell me. I’ll keep asking until you do.”

  “Saints, Mairi. All right.” Annoyed, she scowled at her friend. Against her better judgement, words poured out of her in a rush. “I desperately miss my brother and my home. I’ve no notion what’s happened to Maggie or Dougal—whether they live or…”

  Christ, she refused to speak of the alternative.

  She continued past the sudden lump in her throat. “The matter with my uncle and your aunt weighs on me. I’ve been poked and prodded with sewing needles for a sennight. No one’s allowed me to lift a finger to help with my own wedding.” She snorted in derision and raised her voice. “My wedding? ’Tis almost laughable. I’ve seen little of your brother as of late and when I do, he hardly speaks a handful of words to me. Am I to wed a man that blows colder than the blasted winters here?”

  By the time her outburst ended, her chest rose and fell. For a moment, the weight of silence spanned between her and M
airi.

  She chanced a peek at her friend to find the other woman’s mouth hanging open. “Mairi, I did not mean—”

  When Mairi bolted from bench, Arabella’s tongue suddenly felt too thick to swallow. Why had she not simply kept her mouth shut? Had she angered her only friend? Uneasy, she looked on as Mairi paced the garden, one arm crossed over her middle, the other lifted to her chin, tapping one finger against her bottom lip.

  After several turns in the garden, Mairi paused in front of Arabella and clasped her hands in front of her. “All right. Let’s settle this, shall we?”

  Arabella raised her eyebrows, and Mairi held up one finger.

  “Foremost, I’m truly sorry for the loss of your brother. I wish I could say more to ease your grief. Alas, there is naught for me to offer, save my friendship. As for your home, you may have lost one, but you’ve gained another.” She pointed a thumb over her shoulder to indicate the keep. “The clan loves you. My aunt loves you. I love you. You’re part of our family now, Arabella.”

  Mairi crossed her arms and resumed wearing a path in the garden. “Your uncle and my aunt…I’m not sure what’s happened between them. Neither one has spoken of it to anyone, but I think ’tis time you and I find out.” She grinned over Arabella. “What say you?”

  Taken aback, she blinked at the other women. “I thought my words might’ve offended you.”

  “Not in the slightest.” Mairi motioned between them. “You and I are friends. We share our troubles and help one another. That is friendship to me. Oh, and ’tis your wedding, you daft woman. That’s why no one’s allowed you to help.”

  Arabella slumped against the stone wall, relieved by her friend’s easy acceptance. “I’d hoped to contribute as everyone else has done.”

  “Trust me, you’ll have ample opportunity to contribute after the wedding. Elena and I will gladly pass over our duties as mistresses. Now, as for Calum,” Mairi said with a note of amusement. “I’m fairly certain you will find your bridegroom much warmer after the two of you speak your vows.”

  She frowned in confusion. “I do not—”

  “Aye, you do.” Mairi laughed. “Do you not realize his absence might have something to do with the…discussion the pair of you shared a sennight ago?”

  Heat swam in Arabella’s cheeks. Blasted Calum! He’d assured her no one knew what happened between them in the stables that eve.

  “I’ve no notion what you mean.” She lifted her chin. At the other woman’s loud peal of laughter, she snapped out, “How would you know in the first place?”

  Laughing, Mairi swiped tears from her eyes. “Oh, I’m more than familiar with what takes place between a man and woman. I’ve stumbled upon Liam on more occasions than I care to recount.” She scrunched her nose in distaste.

  Arabella straightened on the bench. “You mean, you saw…”

  “Saints, aye.” Mairi plopped down on the stone beside her. “You must’ve noticed he’s not the timid sort.”

  “Have you ever…” Curiosity burning, she waved her hand. “What of Calum?”

  “What of him?”

  She swatted Mairi’s thigh.

  Grinning, Mairi winked. “Nay, I’ve never chanced upon my brother in such a state. To my utter relief.” She shuddered. “In truth, Calum has never chased after the lasses like Liam. ’Tis the old wounds he carries.” She motioned to her cheek. “I think he believes women look upon him with distaste, but ’tis quite the opposite. A few of the clan’s women have shown an express interest in him over the years, but he’s always disregarded their attentions. I remember once, when I was much younger, another clan chieftain approached my brother and proposed a union with his daughter.”

  Jealousy wrenched Arabella’s stomach at the thought of Calum with another woman.

  Mairi was quick to reassure her. “As you can see, it did not happen. The impudent cow took one look at Calum’s face and begged her father to disapprove of the match.”

  Appalled, Arabella gasped. “What a wretched creature.”

  Mairi agreed. “’Twas naught but a massive blow to his pride. I despised her for the longest time for hurting Calum so.”

  Affronted on his behalf, she glared. “I hope she’s miserable now. I’m glad he did not marry her.”

  “Me, too.” Mairi grasped her hand and squeezed. “I would not soon have you as a sister if he had.”

  Touched by her friend’s words, she smiled. “I’m also glad to gain you as a sister.”

  As was the other woman’s nature, she tugged Arabella into a warm embrace, which she did not mind one bit. She’d grown used to the kind show of affection.

  Mairi pulled away and grinned at her. “Shall we pay a visit to Aunt Elena? I’m eager to learn what’s going on with her and Hammish.”

  “Aye, I wish to know as well.”

  They rose to their feet and made haste halfway across the garden when Arabella remembered her two escorts. She paused long enough to call over the wall. “Sean? Gavin? I’m leaving now.”

  A loud snort pricked her ears and she grinned.

  She and Mairi hastened around to the courtyard and weaved through the village with the pair of warriors trailing after them. As they drew near Elena’s, the sound of her uncle’s gruff voice drifted from the open cottage windows. Surprised, she slammed to a halt and snagged the back of Mairi’s gown to stop her. Her friend frowned over her shoulder and opened her mouth to speak, but Arabella held a finger to her lips, pleading for silence.

  At Mairi’s nod, she spun around to find Sean and Gavin a short distance away. Pointing to the cottage, she waved the pair away. Thankfully, her escorts did as she bid and blended into the nearby forest, out of sight.

  Arabella grabbed Mairi’s hand and tugged her toward Elena’s. Crouching low, they crept closer to cottage, kneeling below one of the open windows. She strained to listen to the sound of Elena’s soft words. Her uncle’s voice, on the other hand, was much easier to understand. The question he spoke rang out, loud and clear, and she slapped a hand over her mouth to silence her startled gasp.

  *

  “Why did you not tell me Liam was my son?”

  Wary, Elena wrung her hands together, unsure of what to say. Hammish deserved an explanation, but words completely failed her in that instant. Dread coiled in her stomach. His nearness, the warmth of his frame, just the man alone was too much to bear. The consequences of her past hung like a snare around her neck, growing tighter with each painful draw of air. ’Twas no excuse satisfactory enough for why she’d never told him of Liam.

  Hammish shifted closer. The heat of his body chased away the chill from her spine. “You used to share everything with me. Do you not remember, El?”

  An ache welled deep in her heart. How many years had passed since he’d used the childhood name?

  “I’ve no wish to battle with you any longer. We’ve wasted enough of our lives doing so.” He settled a hand on her shoulder and she tensed. “Swallow your pride as I’ve done and speak to me. Please.”

  The scene outside the window blurred as tears filled her eyes. Aggrieved and betrayed, she’d allowed her pride to guide her actions long ago. Never once had she given him a chance to explain or make amends. Never revealed she carried his child.

  Instead, she’d behaved with cowardice rather than face him, then married another to spare herself certain disgrace. The look in his eyes when he learned she’d wed another—the pain, the devastation, the loss. Even now, the remembrance absolutely tore her heart in two.

  Saints, Hammish was right. For the sake of their blemished souls, this fissure between them must end.

  Steeling her nerve, Elena slowly faced him. “When I found out I carried Liam, I was so frightened…of you, of my father, of what my clan would think. I knew not what to do.” Plucking at the sleeve of her gown, she studied the ruby brooch holding his mantle in place. “When Cormac found out about us, I confessed I carried a child. That’s when he spoke to you of a match between us, but after what you sa
id…I could not tell you of the child. You would’ve believed I thought to ensnare you in marriage. No matter how much your words hurt, I could not bear to do that to you.

  “I pleaded with Cormac not to tell you. After a lot of convincing on my part, he relented and approached his commander and good friend, Robert, with the matter. Cormac told him everything and Robert agreed to marry me anyway. Before we wed, he assured me he took no issue with claiming the child as his own.” Swallowing against her parched throat, she stepped away to lean against her work table. “I count myself fortunate to have married a good, honorable man. He passed when Liam was ten summers and I truly grieved his loss.” Releasing a weary sigh, she confessed her greatest fear. “I do not know how I’ll ever tell Liam the truth. He’ll never forgive me.”

  “Then do not tell him. He never has to learn the truth.”

  His calm words unsettled Elena. The Hammish she knew would’ve flown into a fit of rage, thrown over the table, and stormed from her small work cottage. She heard movement behind her, felt him draw near. His hand grasped her upper arm and he turned her to face him. He raised his hand and, on instinct, she flinched. When the tips of his fingers grazed her cheek, she met his gaze.

  Hammish searched her features. “The only explanation I can give you for the cruel words I spoke to Cormac is I feared becoming my father. You must’ve known that. You knew me better than anyone.” He traced faint circles over her skin. “A fortnight later, when I’d come to my senses, I came for you…to beg your forgiveness…to ask you to marry me. But I was too late. It crushed me to see you on the arm of another man. When I learned you carried his child…” He closed his eyes for a brief moment and blew out a shaky breath that ruffled the hair atop her head. “’Twas my own damned fault, El.”

  Tears ran down her cheeks and he swept them away with a brush of his callused thumbs. The achingly sweet touch broke her.

  “Forgive me,” she choked out. “I should’ve told you. I could not see past my own foolish blindness and pain. I never meant to hurt you, Hammish.”

  “’Tis taken many years to learn I’m not my father. I’m naught like him.”